I've been an idiot!

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Ceriann

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I'll try and keep it short! Got a sharer for my companion mare (who is just being broken) - she seemed ideal and sensible (important as keep horses at home so effectively giving access to our home to the sharer). Fast forward a couple of weeks and clear she wasn't suitable for a green horse and was considering how to break it to her. I know that sounds harsh but I got a sharer to save me time and I was having to supervise everything she did.

Anyway she came last Saturday and offered to take my old mares now redundant saddle home for a clean. It's not worth anything but I keep it as I did many many miles in it and when my mare goes it will be a keepsake. Sharer didn't turn up on Sunday (after saying she would). Her mum in hospital in a very bad way - I felt awful for her. Mid week she told me she couldn't come anymore as her mum needed round the clock care but a few of the things she said didn't quite tally. Toward weekend I asked if I could pick up my saddle (made clear no rush and her mum was priority). Was told it was a few hours round trip and could I wait until next week - I agreed (her mum was it was told at deaths door).

So imagine my surprise when I go to my local tack shop today (maybe two miles from my house) and who's there looking at saddles full of the joys of spring - my sharer. She clearly tried to avoid me but couldn't and then better still in her hunt for a saddle for a "mates horse" she had mine in the shop with her. Turns out it had been tried on her mates horse for sizing - funny that when it was going to take hours to return it.

Due to her mum I said nothing but when I asked where her mum was in hospital it took minutes to come up an answer and she was v v evasive.

Took saddle and left feeling just a little confused about people. It gets better when I got home from a trip out this afternoon she'd come to my home and taken all her stuff (just some small bits like horse treats and some brushes which she'd initially said I could keep as she wouldn't need them anymore). I couldn't care less about the stuff but she came over uninvited and let herself into my property. I'm livid - mainly with myself for being an idiot!
 
Sounds like you're well rid of her. Very strange and dishonest person. Did she plan to part ex your saddle at the shop do you think?
 
Oh gosh, sounds like she was taking you for a ride there just to take advantage of you. Gives the rest of us honest sharers a bad name. I'd never let myself onto someone's property without at least letting you know. Not entirely sure whether the story about her mother is true either if she's got time to hunt for a saddle for a mate's horse?
 
Good job you caught her out, I may be over thinking this but can you change locks on anything she was able to get into? Just in case? Who on earth would even do that to someone..
 
I wonder whether she had this plan all along to steal and sell your saddle? She could have had the idea from the start, that's why she wasn't particularly bothered about the type of horse you had. Sounds awful but I'm sure she was going to part ex it.
 
I rang the shop (I'm a regular) and they confirmed her story that she'd brought it in as she'd tried it on her mates horse and wanted a similar size. The saddle is old and not worth much but it means a bit to me. All this happened whilst I was told her mum was at deaths door though and she would struggle to bring it back over the weekend. All bizarre as she was fairly clueless with my mare - yet was the one doing all the bidding at the shop when I went in.

She will have got a bit of a shock though - we alarmed the outbuildings before leaving this afternoon!
 
I hope that you have told her she was very rude to just take your saddle without asking and that you don't just swan onto someone's property without letting them know. It could be that she is just thoughtless and silly, but either way you are well rid.
 
Def had a lucky escape just feel a bit duped and a bit at a loss about my own judgement. My OH b#llocked me when we left the shop for telling her we were going out for the afternoon! My brain was trying to process what it had just seen! One to put down to experience!
 
ceriann-can I join you in the `bewildered corner` please?
sold a pony a month ago,lovely quiet boy-went and bought him back today,think he was glad to be home .
 
not 100% sure but he had jumped out the stable so `had` to have the top door shut :( so they were going to sell him on..at home he is a really quiet sweet boy so I just went and bought him back.
he was a bit boggly-eyed and worried in the lorry coming home but settled tonight.
 
Ceriann said:
Def had a lucky escape just feel a bit duped and a bit at a loss about my own judgement. My OH b#llocked me when we left the shop for telling her we were going out for the afternoon! My brain was trying to process what it had just seen! One to put down to experience!
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so she obviously didn't want to let you know she was going onto her property intentionally. She's the one who deserves the *******ing, not you!
 
its a good thing you caught her with the saddle really. If she had sold it on, you would have had no way of getting it back
 
Just pure luck I went there - i had to look twice at her as it was the last place I expected to see her. We'll be locking all gates and outbuildings when we go out now and I'll have a serious think about getting a sharer.
 
Ceriann said:
Just pure luck I went there - i had to look twice at her as it was the last place I expected to see her. We'll be locking all gates and outbuildings when we go out now and I'll have a serious think about getting a sharer.
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Wow that was lucky for you. Why do people make up these lies. You never know what she was going to do next.
 
Ceriann said:
Just pure luck I went there - i had to look twice at her as it was the last place I expected to see her. We'll be locking all gates and outbuildings when we go out now and I'll have a serious think about getting a sharer.
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That's an awful thing for a person to especially as we're all supposed to have commonground in horses. Please don't be put off having a sharer - we aren't all like that!
 
I know I shouldn't have bothered but I sent her a mess to ask for an explanation and I got a fairly blunt response - saddle in back of car when I went to my mates so we tried it on her horse, that's all!! I wouldn't contemplate using someone else's stuff without permission but no sign of a sorry or embarrassment. The worst thing is telling me couldn't bring it back till next week as it was hours to do the round trip home from hospital to her house and back to mine and I accepted that without question.
 
Don't beat yourself up OP ... It seems you acted in good faith but were taken advantage of by someone with a different agenda. It can happen to anyone. Hope you find a decent, honest and competent sharer soon.
 
The audacity of some people never fails to amaze me! Think you have had a narrow escape. I have often considered a sharer as I have met some lovely people who have part shared other people's horses (so they are definitely out there), however Knowing my luck, I would probably be taken in by someone like this too.
 
I used to share and because the saddle she had didn't fit the horse I went and bough a 2nd hand one. I'd intended to keep it or sell if and when share ended. Share ended after a few months because I'd had a fall plus other niggles with the share being not what I needed and It took me months to get the money for the saddle from the horse owner and the gel pad I'd used with it was shredded when she returned it. Sadly it seems you can't rely on people's honesty.
 
Ceriann said:
Just pure luck I went there - i had to look twice at her as it was the last place I expected to see her. We'll be locking all gates and outbuildings when we go out now and I'll have a serious think about getting a sharer.
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Like I said above, she gives us honest sharers a bad name. Don't be put off, but I would perhaps let them on the property only when you're there to supervise at least for the first four weeks, and if necessary lock away your valuables i.e. saddle and tack if they don't need them. Lock the outbuildings when you're not there as you say so if they turn up, they'll have to text you for permission.
 
Thanks everyone - feel a bit better about it all 24 hours later! Well rid and I'm glad I found out v early in the share. I won't let it put me off a share - just need to ask a few more questions next time!
 
Wiz201 said:
Like I said above, she gives us honest sharers a bad name. Don't be put off, but I would perhaps let them on the property only when you're there to supervise at least for the first four weeks, and if necessary lock away your valuables i.e. saddle and tack if they don't need them. Lock the outbuildings when you're not there as you say so if they turn up, they'll have to text you for permission.
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That's a good plan - thank you. We have keys for everywhere (though my tack is going in the house for a bit) so will lock. Helpfully OH is a teacher so can monitor someone new in the first few weeks.
 
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