I've lost my nerve ?

[Shysmum]

Living in rural France with riding to die for. BUT a delivery lorry behaved disgracefully, getting within a metre of the ponies, and Shy started bucking, while I was leading Pepsi. I couldn't get out of this lorry's way. I was scared, and now fret about speeding tractors, of which there are several here. I've lost my nerve. Very upset. It almost feels like PTSD and that he was going to hit us all. Ridiculous isn't it.

 

[Roxylola]

Oh no. Could you maybe take a buddy with you on foot for a bit? Or even just walk out in hand for a while?
You'll get back there, but roads are scary these days take as long as you need, don't give yourself a hard time

 

[Shysmum]

Thankyou ! I keep "thinking up excuses" not to ride. In hand may help. My ponies are brilliant and we went all over together, but that lorry has terrified me.

 

[Roxylola]

Just don't ride for a bit. It's absolutely OK to take a break for any reason

 

[Shysmum]

Thankyou! I needed to hear that x

 

[1523679]

Definitely give in-hand exercising a go. I find it a really enjoyable way to spend time with a horse, and it can be a great confidence-giver for both of you.

Don’t feel bad about feeling scared. I hope you get your mojo back soon x

 

[Shysmum]

Thankyou !

 

[hobo]

I had much the same when a delivery driver nearly took me out last year on my old mare I had a nasty fall on the road and slight concussion . It takes time but you will improve I am slowly getting there, though I must admit I have not been down that road since. Have a short break but I would say not to long I find I am much better the more I ride, pick you time maybe start with Sundays.

 

[Wizpop]

Remember all the times that you hacked out and it was fine. Every time you think about the incident that has dented your confidence say “STOP” - ( see a Stop sign if that helps too) practice then seeing yourself riding and having a lovely, relaxed ride, with the sun shining, hearing all the sounds around you and feeling how comfortable and happy you are on your horse. Make this the most important image- more important and bigger than the one with the badly behaved lorry.
Just go for very short rides and build up the time. Small steps. Even if it means just going up the road a few strides and then coming back. Just build it up, a bit at a time. And do the in hand walking, always having that image of a relaxed and happy experience with your horse.
you will get there.

 

[MuddyMonster]

Have you thought about NLP/rider psychology? I've found it to be a huge help

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Living in rural France with riding to die for. BUT a delivery lorry behaved disgracefully, getting within a metre of the ponies, and Shy started bucking, while I was leading Pepsi. I couldn't get out of this lorry's way. I was scared, and now fret about speeding tractors, of which there are several here. I've lost my nerve. Very upset. It almost feels like PTSD and that he was going to hit us all. Ridiculous isn't it.

It is PTSD, I empathise big time. I was scared of my own horse yesterday because he was bargy and I’ve screwed my knee so I’m hopping. ?

Gove yourself time and don’t rush to do anything you’re not 100% comfortable doing. Look after yourself.

 

[GSD Woman]

Can you ride out without being on the roads? That or in a ring may help build your confidence. Scary stuff does knock ones nerve.

 

[tiahatti]

When you are ready could you try tacking up and getting on and then just saying to yourself "I'm riding for 5 minutes and then I'm stopping". Do the 5 mins and leave it there. You could try a few more minutes over the following days or weeks. Dont beat yourself up or put yourself under pressure you dont need.

 

[canteron]

Remember it may have dented Shys confidence too!
Why not take some time out and work on spook busting. TRT and Jenku have some interesting principles if you want online inspiration, but I would take every opportunity to work with anything noisy, flappy or moving while regaining your nerve - it will come back!!

 

[Shysmum]

Thankyou everyone, some great suggestions. I'm going to try and ride today x

 

[brighteyes]

I don't think you have. I think you have had a nasty shock and being human and intelligent are running the experience over and through like any normal person would. Concede to common sense and plan rides out when this won't happen. I have taken to riding very defensively - in the middle of the road where this has been necessary and sadly accept that over here, we either ride pre-dawn almost or risk dicing with death on our roads.

Be less hard on yourself over this. You at least have self-preservation installed!

 

[Hepsibah]

I had to stop riding for nearly two years after I rode someone else's cob who had a tantrum and reared then did a headstand buck which resulted in me landing on the top of my head when I came off. I wasn't injured but it could easily have ended with a broken neck. I kept trying but I just didn't feel safe any more, even though my horses had never done anything more naughty than a cheeky little buck.
I only recovered after going back to school and having lunge lessons again so all I had to do was sit and try to be calm and relaxed without the added pressure of being in control of everything while we rode. It took lots of uneventful lessons before I was ready to ride out again and I still have a moment before mounting every time where I have to squash the panicky feeling but I can enjoy riding in spite of it now.
Take as long as you need. xx

 

[Expo]

I once had a very simple fall off my old horse whilst schooling in a menage, but all I could remember afterwards was the sight of his hooves flashing in front of my face as I came off. It took me months to get back to full confidence again and kept finding the flimsiest of excuses not to ride!!

I ended up going to a local riding school and getting "beginners' lessons with their instructor on a rock solid school horse - literally being led round on lead rope - to get me back into the saddle.

Take your time and build up slowly. You'll get there.

 

[Tiddlypom]

I think that you are being very sensible, OP. Riding, and especially ride and lead, on the roads is indeed dangerous nowadays.

Why get your nerve back to ride on the roads? It won't make the roads any safer.

Stick to off-road hacking in future.

 

[Desert_rider]

Could you lead out in hand and hop on once you get off road for a bit, or go out extremely early on Sunday morning for a while until you build up your nerve again?

 

[Desert_rider]

Could you lead out in hand and hop on once you get off road for a bit, or go out extremely early on Sunday morning for a while until you build up your nerve again?

 

[Shysmum]

Thankyou everyone! We have to ride on narrow country lanes to get to bridleways, hence my problem. I bottled out again today, so ashamed. My ponies are brilliant! ?

 

[Hepsibah]

There's no shame in it. The subconscious mind is extremely powerful and yours is trying to keep you safe. It takes time to rebuild your confidence so take it slowly.

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

Blimey I’m sorry to hear this Shy…any other year and I d have used it as a fab excuse to get my French holiday fix…just calling in to help a friend dear husband…..
Others have offered good advice…maybe think of setting this time aside as a holiday and after a while the desire and courage to hack out will grow bigger than the fear. Wishing you well.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Thankyou everyone! We have to ride on narrow country lanes to get to bridleways, hence my problem. I bottled out again today, so ashamed. My ponies are brilliant! ?

Don’t be ashamed, and it’s not ridiculous either. You had a scary experience. Self preservation kicks in.
take it slowly, maybe some in hand stuff as mentioned above x

 

[GSD Woman]

Thankyou everyone! We have to ride on narrow country lanes to get to bridleways, hence my problem. I bottled out again today, so ashamed. My ponies are brilliant! ?

I don't know if this is a thing where you are but here we can ask the county or city to put in speed bumps in neighborhoods and on roads where people tend to drive like idiots. Could you speak to someone on your Council about it? Drivers will have to slow down or mess up their vehicles.

 

[Shysmum]

They wont even reduce the speed limit from 80kmp to 40kmp in our village, and boy have I tried !

 

[GSD Woman]

They wont even reduce the speed limit from 80kmp to 40kmp in our village, and boy have I tried !

That is a major bucket of suck. When I traveled to England back in the '90s most of the villages and rural areas were 35kph. I guess times have changed, and not for the better.

 

[Rumtytum]

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