I've lost my share horse and having a confidence crisis - help!

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Dobby

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A bit of a moan and then if anyone has any motivational tips, they're really needed at the moment! None of my friends or family are horsey so they're not remotely interested and I need to get it off my chest now!

Last week I had a really, really *****ty message on facebook from my share horses owner, totally out of the blue, complaining that I could still ride but "not as often" - she made me feel about an inch high - because I don't always have my stirrups on the balls of my feet, that she wants me to put his flash back on (even though we agreed together to take it off), and that she doesn't want him to canter right up her horses arse when we ride out together. All these are completely legitimate things to point out to a sharer but she was so rude and nasty about it, and hasn't mentioned any of these things before. AND besides, this horse is a confirmed bolter and before I started riding him he had been sat in a field for 4 years because she was too scared to ride him - I'd say we wern't doing too badly if all he's doing is getting a bit close when a 13.2hh pony is in front - he's 16.2hh! She finished up by saying "if you don't want to ride my horse how i want you to then you know what to do!!" and hasn't spoken to me since even though we usually ride every day.

So now I feel totally useless - the message clearly wasn't about riding less often but not to ride at all. I've booked a riding lesson and just feel like absolute rubbish, completely embarrassed and don't want to ride in front of anyone ever again - I had no idea I was so awful that people don't want me riding their horses. Any tips to snap myself out of it?! :(
 
Well, firstly tell her to ***** OFF! How dare she be that rude to you. She clearly thought you were a good enough rider to put you on her horse before! I seriously would never ride for her again.

Secondly, I'm pleased you've booked a lesson but I'm SURE that this is about more than your riding. So try not to feel down!

Tbh if you're only hacking, not even schooling, you'd have to be pretty damn awful for me to worry about your riding!! So I really wouldnt worry I'm sure you're actually a good rider and she's upset about something else/PMSing.
 
What a cow. Even if there was some things that she wasn't happy with, facebook is not the way to express it. A chat would of been a much better option.
You have 2 options, either talk to her face to face or tell her that you don't want to share and look for another ride.
 
Oh the beauty of facebook...delete the message..block her and move on.

Have a couple of riding lessons and then keep your eyes peeled for someone looking for a sharer. Preferably one with manners and who is appreciative of your help!
 
I for one really admire you for having the courage to ride a horse who hasn't been ridden for for years AND is a bolter. You must therefore be a competent rider.
Easier said than done I know, but try not to let one unkind persons ill chosen words and actions put you off something you enjoy.
It sounds as though it will be her loss, not yours, as good sharers are difficult to find.

I really hope you enjoy your lesson and it gives you the will to go on. :)
 
oooh thats awful, poor you. If you are in my area (eastsussex/kent) you can ride mine, she needs a rider! I hope you can work it out, sounds like you might be better off without her.
 
Thanks everyone, I'm hoping a lesson will snap me out of it. I feel better already just for ranting, and a bit of sympathy!

greenlivery - what a lovely offer, but unfortunatly i'm about 100 miles away, damn!
 
poor you. some people are just nasty.Like Flamehead i would tell her where to go and find urself another sharer.You deserve better.If you live near me you can come and ride mine. x x x
 
Tell her to go and boil her head and find yourself another share horse where the owner will appreciate you. It's one thing to have a discussion in private if she wasn't happy with certain aspects of how her horse was being ridden. Quite another to broadcast it to all and sundry on Facebook!

I think you've probably made her feel inadequate because you have succeeded with her horse where she had struggled.
 
What a complete and utter b****

Rest assured she is in the wrong completely, not you.

Chin up and try not to let it get to you, and find someone who appreciates you more. :)
 
Tell her to do one and find another share horse. This is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with your riding. She sounds like she is either a cow or is having a seriously bad time of things. Even if it's the latter, communicating with anyone in that fashion is unacceptable!

Message her back, politely, and tell her that you don't appreciate being spoken to in that tone and you will be discontinuing the share and looking for another

good on you for getting on a horse that hasnt been ridden for years as well - sounds like she found a real gem finding you!

There are loads of people out there looking for sharers
 
She's nothing but coward. Why not confront you directly if there's a problem? I know where I'd tell her to go ........ find yourself another horse to share. Leave her in the lurch. Her problem! ;)
 
If you ask me, she sounds like a bit of a tosspot! She's probably just jealous that she was too afraid to ride the 16.2 and that you've managed just fine, whilst she rode along on a little tot with you (not that there's anything wrong with a wee pony).

If I were you, I would forget all about it and tell her that you'll no longer be sharing her horse. Then move on and don't worry about what sounds like a nasty and jealous lady. Have a lesson so that you can feel assured that you're doing things right and then get out there and find yourself a share horse. There will be plenty of people out there just looking for a kind person to hack their horse, ones who will be grateful for your help instead of being petty about it.

Don't feel bad, a lot of the time I feel like I'm totally incapable when I'm actually not too horrific really. :p So chin up and move on! :)
 
sounds to me that someone is jealous as you had the guts to ride a horse that she was scared of.
You must be a pretty good rider to put up with the horse in the first place.
Ditto.... to tell her to go forth and multipy.
Do you live near staffordshire as you can come and ride mine :)
Her loss hun your gain go and share with someone who is a nice person and not a .........
 
You just can't please some people can you?!
I share too and I'd be gobsmacked if this ever happened as we, too, ride every day with the two horses - it would probably make me feel the same way :(
I know it's difficult but it may be an idea to forget about that share - she clearly doesn't appreciate your help OR your level of skill (which you evidently have!) If she would like her horse to be left in a field for the next however many years she's going the right way about it.
If you can't do this, ask for an apology at least and maybe give it a break for a few weeks, have some lessons and get your self confidence back (not that you need to cement it in our eyes!) and then go back and see how the situation works out.
I can only imagine how difficult it would be to leave the horse now.
Good luck
K x
 
I was recently dumped too. Owner basically found somebody with much more money and better means of transport than I so in a nutshell told me to ****** off after i'd spent 5 months schooling her youngster on and cleaning up his jumping. So now, a super-strong-willed 5yr old is in the hands of a weak-willed 11yr old girl. Her mother has to lunge him for 20 minutes before she even gets on him to get the excess energy out of him. So that alone should tell you something - it's not you, it's always the owner!!! x
 
And I'm another, if you are anywhere near me we have at least one you can ride and, if my OH's comments are anything to go by, my riding leaves a lot to be desired, Cheeky c*w, how dare she say that to you!
 
Firstly i would tell her to **** right off!! she has no right to say that to you and if you are riding the horse and stopping it bolting then you must be a perfectly capable rider. my thoughts are that she is having confidence issues and seeing you doing well is making her jealous and so by upsetting you she can feel in power so to speak. if i were you i would find something else to ride and ignore this clearly childish person.

have a glass/bottle of wine and sit and think about how good you clearly must be!!

have a nice evening and best of luck x
 
what an ungrateful, jealous, cowardly madam that woman is.
I also urge you to find a new share horse there are plenty of horse owners looking for capable honest sharers.
If you are any where near me you can come and ride anytime you want, always have one needing riding
 
Before you delete her off FB - tell her to take her horse share and stick it and then find a really nice horse to be photographed riding and take loads of pics and plaster them all over FB saying how wonderful your new loaner and loan horse are :)

On a serious note (and frome someone who has a sharer on my horses) if she thought things were that bad why didnt she say it to your face? I am thinking jealousy because you have done a good job. I never interfere in my sharers riding (unless they ask for advice) and she has commented loads of times how much she thinks she has improved and I always agree.

Chin up hunny - there is another horse out there for you.
 
How RUDE!:mad: Presumably your riding was good enough for her when she was too chicken to get on her own horse, so what's her problem now?

Tell her to shove it chicken, good grief, life is too short to deal with cowbags like that! I agree with the poster saying that she is feeling inadequate - well that is because she IS inadequate and she damn well knows it. Let her stew in her own juices and move on up to bigger and better things:)
 
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