I've turned into a wimp :(

[sidesaddlegirl]

I never thought it would happen to me but after being broken and not riding for 2 months, I've turned into a wimp

It started the other day when a lady that I know at the livery yard down the lane, fell off her horse while schooling (not even jumping, she only does dressage) and she broke her neck (she's in hospital now). My OH and my friends don't want me to jump anymore now only dressage.
Hattie has been wappy all week while hacking out and then today when we were hacking back from watching friends at a clear round show, Hattie started doing her "canter/prance/buck" thing on the spot as there were people walking dogs and a group of riders down the lane. She also got wound up as my friend's new horse bucked her daughter off at the show too and I had visions of me coming off too.

We were going to hack out after the show but instead I turned her down the lane as I had visions of me falling off on the concrete and breaking more ribs (even though I was trussed up with my body protector on) and went back home to my other friend's to school and practice the Intro A test in her menage.

I wanted to work on our cantering too but she wouldn't listen only did a few strides of shuffle canter and I almost fell off when doing the left rein canter so now I feel like a crap rider as my horse won't canter for me in the school and I'm too wimpy to hack out now.

I feel like such a rubbish rider and I never used to be like this. When I was young, I used to fall off and not care, now I fall off and break.

 

[scatty_mare]

It's totally natural that you are feeling less confident than usual after breaking, having 2 months to dwell on it, getting on a prancy horse, and hearing of freak horrible accidents close to home. I think I would be a wreck!
Don't worry, your confidence will come back! Don't beat yourself up about it, it's normal and means you have a healthy self-preservation instinct!
I like the sound of your prancy idiot horse, I have one of those too

 

[Chellebean]

I know what you mean, not my last fall but the one before (nearly 3 years ago) is still badly effecting me both physically and mentally! I was hoping to get on Ollie today, the first time ever and the back refused to play the game. I haven't been able to stand up straight with out the aid of something, let alone sit up straight on my ex racer so I chickened out

I very mch doubt your a crap rider though! I am sure you'll be fine.
Could your mare have been picking up on your nerves? My old gelding used to take care of me and when ever I felt wobbly he would drop back a pace for me to compile myself again.

 

[Echo Bravo]

Arrgh the days of youth, no fear or brains. Sorry love but you will find most of have been there done that and with age comes wisdom. But I would say you have had your confidence knocked a little and your mare senses that. As my Gran use to say Don't go looking for trouble as it will soon find you. Dont rush things, specially if your ribs are still a bit sore.

 

[sidesaddlegirl]

I think you are all right. I think Hattie is picking up on my nerves, she was spooking at stupid things that she never even bothered with before and also why she won't canter with me. She won't do something if I'm not 100% or will do it VERY begrudgingly (hence the shuffle canter). It's just so frustrating as the heart wants to "GO" but the brain is saying "NO" and the body is saying "Please don't hurt me!", LOL!

I was hoping to FINALLY try a Prelim test this month but I think that is something for another day. I may have to go back to baby steps with schooling for me and start taking a lesson or two a month again and stick with Intro tests for the time being.

 

[Allover]

It's totally natural that you are feeling less confident than usual after breaking, having 2 months to dwell on it, getting on a prancy horse, and hearing of freak horrible accidents close to home. I think I would be a wreck!
Don't worry, your confidence will come back! Don't beat yourself up about it, it's normal and means you have a healthy self-preservation instinct!
I like the sound of your prancy idiot horse, I have one of those too

Ditto this, it will get better with time and sometimes baby steps can feel like giant leaps, x