Jealousy... anyone else?

N

nuttynugget

Well-Known Member
Joined
7 September 2010
Messages
208
Visit site
Hi... I am not sure how to go about this but I don't know how to manage my feelings anymore!!!

A fellow livery is the same age as me and doesn't work but gets money chucked at her to buy a string of fantastic horses and because she has all the time in the world has time to produce them. While I work full time and struggle to get in the school in the short time I have after work so my horse is just bobbing along.

I guess what it comes to is I'm jealous!!! plain jealous!! does anyone else ever feel this way? :( I know, I know, I need to grow up but its still not fair haha..
 
Not really a jealous person by nature I tend to just let others do their thing :)

But I have lost a few friends through them being jelaous of me and of the fact that I dont wrap myself up in their lives and go my own way.
 
I'm not sure I get jealous of people but I do find it drags me down sometimes when I notice how easy it is for some people But then I take a long hard look at life and realise I am damn proud that I fund it all myself and graft for it. I like the little smug feeling it brings out in me to realise I really am a grown up doing it all myself. :)
 
Have you not noticed that some people have newer cars than you and bigger houses? I hate to be the one to tell you this but you're just going to have to get over it!

You might also like to think that there will be people reading your post thinking "Jammy cow, she's got her own horse and she's still moaning" or "Well if I just had a job" or "Wow a yard with a school" so, if not in your eyes but in other people's eyes YOU are one to be jealous of!
 
I had a friend at college that sounds like your fellow livery, she got brought a mini when passed her driving test and even her own flat. She doesnt work, just rides while daddy pays for all.
I pityed her, someone who doesnt know what its like to have a real life, where you earn your own money for your things. Much more satisfying
 
I get what you mean. I don't get jealous as such, but I do wish I had as much time/money as some people at my yard (as soppy as it sounds, I wouldn't change my youngster for the world), and how easy they make riding their horses look. Though, at livery yards, I do find it best to just try and keep to yourself and let people get on with it. Sure, have your friends and people you share things with, but it is sometimes easier to just get on with your own thing. And whenever you begin to feel jealous, think about all the things you do have, as cheesy as it sounds xx
 
I'm a jealous person - I just try to hide it. I can't afford a horse so I'm jealous of anyone who can. I can't find a job that pays well enough to allow me to get one. I'd LOVE to be able to get just a project that I could keep at my old yard (I miss it terribly) and go to the occasional party with, and go on long winter weekend hacks with.

On the other hand, I remind myself that I am very lucky to have a large orange pony (big ex-racer :rolleyes: ) to ride every week or so, and that I managed to get him to stretch last weekend. So hey, at least I can ride, right? :)
 
MiCsarah said:
I had a friend at college that sounds like your fellow livery, she got brought a mini when passed her driving test and even her own flat. She doesnt work, just rides while daddy pays for all.
I pityed her, someone who doesnt know what its like to have a real life, where you earn your own money for your things. Much more satisfying
Click to expand...

/\/\ This is what I was trying to say, but I didn't do very well.

And yes, as j_t says, there will be plenty of people who are jealous of us, just for having a job and a horse and a house etc. I was just saying that to OH on Sunday when we had to walk home from the yard because the sodding car broke down and I said 'lots of people would love to have a car, we shouldn't moan about having to have it fixed'. And then the garage screwed me and then I changed my mind lol!

Second edit: And then j_t came along and told me how great her garage is. Now that is something to be jealous about. If she wasn't so lovely I'd be most upset! :D
 
Last edited:
jemima_too said:
Have you not noticed that some people have newer cars than you and bigger houses? I hate to be the one to tell you this but you're just going to have to get over it!

You might also like to think that there will be people reading your post thinking "Jammy cow, she's got her own horse and she's still moaning" or "Well if I just had a job" or "Wow a yard with a school" so, if not in your eyes but in other people's eyes YOU are one to be jealous of!
Click to expand...

Yes every now and then ok to have a little winge, but as mentioned above, there will always be someone around with more than you, and always someone doing it tougher than you... so let it go enjoy what YOU have, and get on with it.
 
I know what you mean OP, but you will get over it - you're not going to have her life so you have to! :D We could all use more money, more time, have a flatter tummy (or is that just me?) but in the end you have to look at YOUR life and say, "Do I have the life I want?" I can honestly say I have and I bet you could to. You just have to change your perspective a little. As another poster said, someone ALWAYS has more than you. If you keep looking at what other people have, you'll never be happy enough to enjoy what you've got. And if there are things you would like to change in your life, then on you go. It sounds like this other livery might be a bit of lightening rod for frustrations in your own life like never feeling you have enough time? But that doesn't make you a bad person. :)
 
I dont get jealous. I would like more money - but then again wouldnt every one?

Im just glad I have my health, my horses, my dog, a loving family and a close knit circle of friends, a roof over my head, cupboards full of food and a bed to sleep in.

I am loved and I love - there are SO many people out there who do not have any of these things. I think of those poor people in Pakistan, flooded out, no food, no home, death and disease. Hold them in your thoughts please xx
 
jeeve said:
Yes every now and then ok to have a little winge, but as mentioned above, there will always be someone around with more than you, and always someone doing it tougher than you... so let it go enjoy what YOU have, and get on with it.
Click to expand...

Well said Jeeve!

You will be a very unhappy person if you allow yourself to dwell on what others have and you don't.

All my adult life (and most of my childhood) I've been very, very ill and disabled by it. Couldn't go near the horses I loved.

Now I'm 55, not exactly well by most people's standards, but not bad. I have a low income and for the past two years have been saying, "I can't possibly afford a horse..." only to decide life's too short not to do what you most love. So I bought a horse.

She's old, she's no prize winner but hey, neither am I. It's going to be a struggle, financially and physically but boy am I happy.

Other people are rich? Yeah, probably, but I'm too busy to notice. :-)
 
jemima_too said:
Have you not noticed that some people have newer cars than you and bigger houses? I hate to be the one to tell you this but you're just going to have to get over it!

You might also like to think that there will be people reading your post thinking "Jammy cow, she's got her own horse and she's still moaning" or "Well if I just had a job" or "Wow a yard with a school" so, if not in your eyes but in other people's eyes YOU are one to be jealous of!
Click to expand...

Took the words right off my keyboard! :D
 
Dancing Queen said:
I dont get jealous. I would like more money - but then again wouldnt every one?

Im just glad I have my health, my horses, my dog, a loving family and a close knit circle of friends, a roof over my head, cupboards full of food and a bed to sleep in.

I am loved and I love - there are SO many people out there who do not have any of these things. I think of those poor people in Pakistan, flooded out, no food, no home, death and disease. Hold them in your thoughts please xx
Click to expand...

Says it all. :)
 
I'm jealous that a 'friend' of mine gets any horse she wants, has a massive house and lots of money...

...however, I wouldn't want to be like he. I have a bond with Ned and I can see the progress he's making. She gets pre-made horses and although she says she's bonded, it's blinding clear she hasn't! She should be jealous of me :D
 
Annielusian said:
I'm jealous that a 'friend' of mine gets any horse she wants, has a massive house and lots of money...

...however, I wouldn't want to be like he. I have a bond with Ned and I can see the progress he's making. She gets pre-made horses and although she says she's bonded, it's blinding clear she hasn't! She should be jealous of me :D
Click to expand...

Yep, this - when my horse comes off the lorry and behaves like an angel I can think "bless her, we did that together" :D I've forgotten all about how hard it was last year!

I like the signature someone on here has that says "rosettes are won at home, you just go to the show to pick them up". It's worth so much more when you're worked for it.
 
we all get like this sometimes, not always about the same things either

To really put things in perspective, I lost my 15yr old daughter, and boy do I get jealous of people that still have theirs and especially those that I see being horrid to them :mad::mad::mad:

I get jealous of people that have their health, I suffer Rheumatoid arthritis and badly broke my ankle which after 3 lots of surgery is finally doing ok. I know it will need more surgery in the future so I am making the most of it. I find life and work a painful struggle sometimes. I would love to do some ODE but no way am I strong enough

However I have a wonderful son, an amazing horse, great friends and can just afford to keep my horse and a lorry for which I am extremely grateful
 
Girl in my daughters year at school, very nervous rider, had a loan pony. Parents went out and bought an eventer, very expensive lorry as they were going eventing. My daughter has to produce her own horses from baby's, which obviously takes alot of time and patience, we can't stretch to a lorry and can only keep one horse at a time. I would love to be able to support her more and give her more opportunities so I suppose you could say i am slightly jealous of them for being able to do what they have. Its a shame that the girl doesn't actually seem very keen at all .
 
I do have moments of jealously...mostly about those people lucky enough to not have to work full time as I do but then I get to the yard, my big hairy mud monster shouts over his door and gives me the biggest welcome and I'm grateful to the job that means I get to keep him!!!

I love my boy so much and I don't care that he's not a big fancy showy pants..cos I can do anything with him, and we have so much fun together!! He might look like a bog standard messy cob to some but to me he's utterly perfect. :D

At a recent event a lady on a 17.2hh glossy sportshorse came over to chat to me, she looked down on my 15hh fluffy hairball and said 'oh I'm so jealous of you, your horse is so much fun and everytime I see you you are grinning!!' :D She said because she'd always been competeing since a child people expected her to have these big expensive horses and all she really wanted was a cob that she could get on and enjoy, she wanted to hack and go hell for leather over XC courses just for the hell of it but had so much pressure to excel she had to take it all seriously and the fun had gone.

The fun has never once gone in the 7 years I've had my boy and I seriously expect it never to go...he isn't stopping and neither am I!!!:D
 
Dancing Queen said:
I dont get jealous. I would like more money - but then again wouldnt every one?

Im just glad I have my health, my horses, my dog, a loving family and a close knit circle of friends, a roof over my head, cupboards full of food and a bed to sleep in.

I am loved and I love - there are SO many people out there who do not have any of these things. I think of those poor people in Pakistan, flooded out, no food, no home, death and disease. Hold them in your thoughts please xx
Click to expand...

Yes!! Well said, Dancing Queen.

And the OP's friend may be jealous of OP's independance and freedom as it may be that her parents support her only because she hasn't managed to 'leave the nest' yet.
 
Jemima_Too said it best.
The way I look at it is that if all you've got to worry about is money, then you're luckier than most and believe me... there are PLENTY of things that money can't buy you that are worth more than flashy horses, kit, cars, etc.
 
Have you ever thought that some people may be jealous of you because you are lucky enough to own a horse.

End of the day, you make your own luck, as for horses….. well they don’t need be dressed up in expensive things, so long as they are well cared for, they are simple creatures, they all eat the same and ***** the same.:D

Chin up Mrs. :)
 
I used to be really jealous of folk who had their own transport etc. but now I have my own I feel like I have really achieved something - I did it for me and for my youngster he deserves the chance to excell and reach his potential level of amazingness whereever that may be. I wish I had the same opertunity with my mare instead of having to beg steal and borrow the odd vent here and there. I think had I been out more I could have had the type of horse other people are jealous of :( She's still my baby though
 
Dancing Queen said:
I dont get jealous. I would like more money - but then again wouldnt every one?

Im just glad I have my health, my horses, my dog, a loving family and a close knit circle of friends, a roof over my head, cupboards full of food and a bed to sleep in.

I am loved and I love - there are SO many people out there who do not have any of these things. I think of those poor people in Pakistan, flooded out, no food, no home, death and disease. Hold them in your thoughts please xx
Click to expand...

^^^^

This. Possibly this way of thinking comes with age and life experience.:)
 
I like how honest everyone is being! I get very jealous but over time you learn to manage it. At the moment I am very happy with everything in my life so everytime I feel myself getting jealous I think about all the good things I have.

My OH's best friend's wife is 30, still gets an allowence from her parents, her car payments payed by her parents and money towards food shopping?!?!
 
i used to be jealous of those with more than me, even though we were doing pretty well ourselves i always wanted more:o but then things changed and i had to get used to having less and it was then i realised what is really important in my life, my kids, husband, family, animals and friends.;) All the material stuff are just objects at the end of the day, a big house is just bricks and mortar, it's the people in it that make it a home:) Appreciate what you do have rather than get hung up about what you don't have;)
 
It’s a horrible feeling jealously isn’t it? Whether it be over a horse, car, house. BUT just remember you’re lucky to have a horse in your life at all so try to look at the bigger picture – some people only dream of being around them. I know a lot of ill people (unfortunately) and I bet their only wish was for them to be able to live a full normal life so us being angry over not having a better horse is really very petty. I am lucky to have two horses, a crazy arab and an ex racer who comes with ‘issues’ lol – but you know what, I wouldn’t want anything else and no matter what alternative I was offered, my babies are my world!

Just do the best you can and enjoy your own life – no matter what you have in life – someone will ALWAYS have something more expensive than you (although note it doesn’t mean its BETTER!).
 
I think it's fair to say that most people might experience some jealosy at some point in their lives. The important thing is to recognise it as a negative feeling which needs to be controlled, jealosy can eat away at a person and destroy someones ability to enjoy the things they have, and the healthy way to deal with it is to accept that we cannot always have what we want, and to focus on the things that we DO have which are important to us, and also remind ourselves of the things we have which we take for granted. (I have no idea why I do it, but since I had a new bed with a lovely comfy memory foam matress, every night when I go to bed, I have thought how lucky I am that I don't have to sleep on a park bench!) I suppose that if we can recognise the jealous streak and be honest with ourselves, we are able to make a choice about how much we will allow it to affect us.
 
I think it is natural to feel jealous at times. Not nice, but natural. So long as it doesn't affect the way you deal with her and others I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. I had a very good schoolfriend. She was a lovely kind and generous girl but I can now admit I was jealous of her because her parents were filthy rich and she had so much more than I had. She had her own pony, her own brand new sports car the day she past her driving test and a few years later daddy bought her a penthouse flat. She also had an allowance that was rather more than my salary. Jealous? Of course I was!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top