Jumping confidence HELP!!!

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HBrae2

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My old pony would regularly drop his shoulder and spin just before a tiny jump and I would mostly fall off. He wasn’t nasty, just a cheeky little pony who knew all the tricks but it scared me! He went to a more confident girl last year. I have a new (super quiet) pony and I have got lots of confidence back but I’m still scared of jumping. He does nothing wrong, he trots up to a tiny x-pole and a step before he hesitates (you can’t see it, I can feel it through my seat and I am convinced that I ASK him to do it by me being scared), I then totally freeze, we go back to walk, I put my leg on, we step over said x-pole in walk and then trot on again. Once we’ve been over it once or twice this way then we trot and canter over it quite happily! I have had lots of lessons on him and I do riding club groups and it’s the same every time. I’m sure it’s very frustrating for the instructor but shouting “leg” at me isn’t working, it’s like I’ve frozen until I’m back in walk and then I can put my leg on! The problem is that the tiny hesitation from him feels exactly like my old pony immediately before he would spin. I used to really enjoy jumping and my new boy is such sweetie, he’s only doing exactly what I’m asking him to do. I know it’s all in my head and I feel like I’m letting him down and teaching him that this is how we jump together! How do I change the way my head works so I can keep trotting?  I don’t want to do anything big, just to trot over 1st time instead of walking!
Sorry it’s long, I have birthday cake for anyone getting to the end…
 
I used to have a pony that would zoom up to fences then drop his neck so I went over the fence while he stood there looking very pleased with himself!

I LOVE jumping. Always have, but have had a few confidence knocks in my time, which everyone has. Just forget about it. Trust your pony. Like you have said, he is a sweetie, and from the sounds of things you have nothing to worry about with him.

Easier said than done, but sit tall, point him at the fence, deep breath and let him take you over it. Remember it's not you jumping the fence, it's your pony! You just have to go with it. The more you tense and worry the worse you are going to make it, for both you and pony.

Visualisation may help you as well. Imagine you are Mary King, you've GOT THIS, you do it all the time, it's so EASY that you can do it with your eyes closed and people can only wish they were as good as you are!

The best thing I ever done for my confidence was to develop a 'don't give a ****' attitude, and just get on with it. Once you've done it a few times you'll feel your confidence creep back up again, practice, practice, practice.

Get out there and do it :)
 
Thank you! Actually now I think about it it's funny I havn't pretended I'm Mary King while jumping as I'm quite often Charlotte Dujardin when I'm practising my dressage tests (doesn't matter I'm on a 14hh lazy pony and I'm doing intro / prelim lol!)

I'll give it a go, it's just hard as it's like a physical block the 1st couple of times. I worry I'll be doing the "assisted x-pole" SJ class forever! I WANT to jump so much but I can't stop being scared!
 
You could try 4 trotting poles, get working confidently over them first and then set the last pole up as a small x pole, you'll find your rhythm and balance and will be much easier to judge the stride. Canter poles also helped me and actually felt easier coming into the jump rather than in trot.
 
I'm ok with poles on the ground so that's a good idea. I think to be honest I need a very patient person to encourage me. I always feel instructors are getting annoyed with me and don't understand that I am genuinely frightened and not just being frustrating on purpose! If I'm on my own then I tend to walk over a couple of times and then stop or else totally wimp out. Last week I spent ages putting up a few jumps in the field and then by the time I tacked up I had talked myself out of it so we just rode round about them. Poor pony, he's so fab and he must think his new owner is a complete tube! What distance apart should trot / canter poles be for a normal striding 14hh pony?
 
heebiejeebies said:
I used to have a pony that would zoom up to fences then drop his neck so I went over the fence while he stood there looking very pleased with himself!

I LOVE jumping. Always have, but have had a few confidence knocks in my time, which everyone has. Just forget about it. Trust your pony. Like you have said, he is a sweetie, and from the sounds of things you have nothing to worry about with him.

Easier said than done, but sit tall, point him at the fence, deep breath and let him take you over it. Remember it's not you jumping the fence, it's your pony! You just have to go with it. The more you tense and worry the worse you are going to make it, for both you and pony.

Visualisation may help you as well. Imagine you are Mary King, you've GOT THIS, you do it all the time, it's so EASY that you can do it with your eyes closed and people can only wish they were as good as you are!

The best thing I ever done for my confidence was to develop a 'don't give a ****' attitude, and just get on with it. Once you've done it a few times you'll feel your confidence creep back up again, practice, practice, practice.

Get out there and do it :)
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I love this idea never thought of pretending to be mary king im going to do it :D I found getting the 'don't give a ****' attitude really helped with my pony at competitions aswell really helped get him over and got my confidence back :)
 
I did this pole work with an Arab I shared who had been ruined with her jumping and would rush and kangaroo hop over the fence (she was previously a very talented jumping pony), so I was obviously nervous as well as you just couldn't sit to her at all! I looked up online how to train a horse to jump from scratch so just took myself and her back to the very basics, each step lasted a few weeks until we were confident. After we had mastered the trotting poles and x pole then we added canter poles and then thr x pole and didn't even think about increasing the size until we had a good rhythm and then I just took away one pole at a time, this was over many weeks until eventually we just had the jump. Oh and I had had a pony in my childhood who used to pull dirty stops so I was retraining both myself and the horse and we did it and because it was done gradually I never felt overwhelmed.
 
Can you get a friend to practise this with you under saddle also? It helped me to have someone to chat to and take a few vid clips, always more fun! Remember it is supposed to be fun. x
 
He's a pretty good jumper, and very very honest. My instructor has jumped him and he just canters round them like a pro in a lovely rhythm - it's only me whose mince! He is just doing what I'm asking him to do and being very sweet in looking after me, I just need to change me and I don't know how.
 
I'm another one for poles. I had a nasty fall after Christmas and got the colly wobbles. My horse is green and takes a lot of confidence from me and like you, I would freeze on the last stride. We spent a lot of time cantering through wings with no poles, then wings with poles and then eventually little cross poles. I also only jump if I'm having a lesson or competing. Don't worry about what others are thinking and if your instructor is getting annoyed with you, find a new one. I also find I jump much better when I'm not looking at the fence. It's an acquired skill but I've been taught to find my line, sit up and look at the trees beyond. That way I don't always know when it's the last stride until his shoulders have already come off the ground! Stick with it :-)
 
GeorgeyGal said:
Can you get a friend to practise this with you under saddle also? It helped me to have someone to chat to and take a few vid clips, always more fun! Remember it is supposed to be fun. x
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I keep hoping someone will offer to give up their evening to help me lol, I don't like to ask because everyone horsey I know always seems to be so busy, especially with all the competitions at the moment. I have a very sympathetic flatwork instructor that I have weekly lessons with but struggle to find someone who teaches jumping who isn't incredibly expensive or wants to put them up bigger all the time. Telling me to put my leg on and that my pony is capable of jumping bigger doesn't help my confidence or self esteem.
 
Try the poles on your own and just take your time, it's a great confidence builder. I'd take the heat off for now with the lessons and just concentrate on building yourself up.
 
Where are you? Maybe someone can recommend a good jumping instructor.

I have a fab new instructor who is really helping with my confidence when jumping. She only makes me jump small stuff and makes me concentrate on my lines and concentrate on getting from A to B which just happens to have a jump along the way.
 
From what I remember for my 14.2 it was roughly 1m, so one large stride and a quarter from me stepping. But you'll have to make adjustments as you go based on this guide. Have a look online for guidelines.
 
GeorgeyGal said:
I did this pole work with an Arab I shared who had been ruined with her jumping and would rush and kangaroo hop over the fence (she was previously a very talented jumping pony), so I was obviously nervous as well as you just couldn't sit to her at all! I looked up online how to train a horse to jump from scratch so just took myself and her back to the very basics, each step lasted a few weeks until we were confident. After we had mastered the trotting poles and x pole then we added canter poles and then thr x pole and didn't even think about increasing the size until we had a good rhythm and then I just took away one pole at a time, this was over many weeks until eventually we just had the jump. Oh and I had had a pony in my childhood who used to pull dirty stops so I was retraining both myself and the horse and we did it and because it was done gradually I never felt overwhelmed.
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I am a total coward about jumping and my horse was too. And that meant he either ran out or refused suddenly, or jumped huge and raced. This made me even less confident.

I did the same: I got a book called 101 Jumping Exercises and did poles and gridwork (it is about exercise 30 before you get off the ground!). This turned things around for both of us. We are now jumping 2'6" - I know that sounds like nothing but 6 months' ago we were totally useless and both of us like to take things very slowly!

The other thing I have found is a basic jumping rule: don't look at the jump, look where you are going. Find this makes me so much more positive and makes a huge difference to the horse in terms of attitude and balance.
 
I did the same: I got a book called 101 Jumping Exercises and did poles and gridwork (it is about exercise 30 before you get off the ground!). This turned things around for both of us. We are now jumping 2'6" - I know that sounds like nothing but 6 months' ago we were totally useless and both of us like to take things very slowly!

QUOTE]

The book sounds like a good idea, do you remember if it told you distances and things too? I don't want to make it harder for both of us by making poles the wrong spacing. And I think 2'6" is huge, well done you!!! I'm still scared over a tiny x-pole (on the 1st hole of the jump!) :)
 
Remember from about 8 feet away don't look at jump. Your job is to get pony there at pace you want. His job is to jump it. Once you've done your bit the next job you have is to move pony away from jump at pace you want in straight line so while he does his bit you should be planning your second bit. Get him to the jump the look over it planning you line while he jumps it. Trust him he sounds like a good un! Oh and I can't jump happily in trot. Though I do for my youngster, what happens if you canter to it? Just thinking outside the box.
 
I've never tried cantering the 1st time I do it. After I've walked over it a couple of times then I can trot or canter over. To be honest he's better from canter, he's got a really steady "bouncy" canter when I'm doing jumping if that makes sense? It's different to his usual slow canter. He's very good, he always gets the right stride and never cat jumps / gets in too close / stands off etc. I got him as a confidence giver and he's wonderful - I'm just struggling with my permanent urge to bring him back to walk the stride before the jump. He needs me to put my leg on a couple of strides before but I seem to be incapable of it! He never, ever stops or refuses, he just steps over them in walk.
 
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