Jumping Confidence

Spiritedly

Spiritedly

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I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue so I thought I'd get opinions from the 'hive mind'

When I was younger I lived for jumping, I evented at Novice/ Newcomers, which i think was around 3'6/3'9? And was very gung ho and was always getting speed penalties. I was also showjumping at the same heights. This went on until I gave up horses when my children were younger although I had lessons again when they got a bit older and was still happily popping over pretty big jumps.

I got my mare about 13 years ago and taught her to jump and although we never got above 80 before she had to retire from jumping it still wasn't an issue for me. I then loaned a horse from the people I got my mare from and got thrown quite badly ending up hitting a tree and wrecking my lower back and leaving me with partial paralysis in my left leg and foot...needless to say the horse went back!

When I was mobile again I bought my gelding. He's not the sanest horse on the planet and my friends wondered what I'd done but we have gelled and I have no real worries about anything with him except jumping. The first time I tried was pre covid and he decided the place pile was the take off point, gave the jump at least a foot of clearance and I lost my balance at which point he bucked and ducked and off I flew! I got back on and rode him towards the jump but couldn't do it. I left it a few months but everytime I set jumps up I would pull him away and I didn't want to turn him into a stopper so I stopped trying.

Three years ago I did a pole lesson with Geoff Billington ( it's just come up on my memories which is why this is on my mind) and he said at the end he wanted us all to pop over a pole on the bottom hole so we would all then have the right to say we'd had a jumping lesson with him. I went first and again pulled away and in the end Geoff dropped the pole on one side and we went over. I then watched everyone else do the 2 little jumps and they were so proud and I thought 'I can do this!' So asked to go again and we ended up going several more times with the jumps getting higher and I was so pleased that I decided to keep it up when I got home. It took some self convincing but we did it once and then poor Will (horse) did a tendon and gave himself laminitis! He's now all recovered but I'm back to square one and just can't bring myself to do actually do the jump.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did you find worked...if anything? I don't know whether to try a jumping lesson at a riding school...although the issue seems to be jumping Will rather than the actual jumping...or do I get an instructor to give me a lesson with him but it would need to be an instructor that will push me just out of my comfort zone but not to the extent that I'm a quivering wreck 🤦‍♀️

Congrats if you've read the whole post it's longer than I planned 🙈
 
You need to start from scratch and just go over a pole and do it until you find it boring. That can be in walk. When you get bored in walk, then trot and so forth. Pushing boundaries of confidence can only be done when you are truly confident and ready. Then you add more poles, raise a pole one end, raise the whole pole, add fillers to the side. The list is endless but you catch my drift.
You have had some nasty falls and accidents so your brain is screaming at you not to do it in order to protect yourself. Depends how serious you are about wanting to jump to whether you get proper help with your mind or you are happy tinkering about and accepting being female hormones will play a part and one day you will be brave as a lion and the next day doing exactly the same thing as timid as a mouse. Confidence is pretty pliable so if you feel rotten about it either take a step back or don't face it head on that day. The other thing is you have to keep doing it regularly. If you have breaks from it your brain will scream at you again telling you it's dangerous
 
I did hypnosis recordings. I don't even believe in hypnosis! But I literally can listen to the recording before a lesson/comp and 90 per cent of the time, I just can get on with it like a "normal" person, when I will get myself so het up for jumping that I just shake and cry. I have a recording for flatwork too and my instructor can tell when I've listened to it without me saying anything 😅 Sounds mad when I write it down - but even if it's a placebo effect, it works, so I'll take it!
 
Self preservation and safety are top priority.
I dont jump, but a strategy which worked for me (after a serious op) was to pretend I was being given a lesson by a well known trainer, someone whose clinics I had spectated. I think the difference was havng to ride properly, as if my riding was being watched. I started slow and it ended with cantering a figure 8 in a 20x40 school.
 
LEC said:
Pushing boundaries of confidence can only be done when you are truly confident and ready.
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Could not agree with this more.

Finding a coach who actually understands this can be incredibly difficult but my confidence has come on leaps and bounds since I did. We treat me like a horse and make sure I am under-threshold, understanding the question and feeling good! It's a pretty great inter-species approach! 😂
 
As well as lessons I would have a look at sports psychology and visualisation, for some people it can be a great help, Ros Canter uses it! In lessons find someone who can help you focus on all the component parts of jumping - your position, balance, contact, the horse's speed, rhythm, stride length etc, line to the fence/pole etc so the actual leaving the ground is only a miniscule part of the process. These elements can be worked on without an actual jump and once they come easily you can just run through your "checklist" with confidence when going to a fence knowing everything is in place. This "preflight" check also diverts your mind from the actual jump!
 
Spiritedly said:
I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue so I thought I'd get opinions from the 'hive mind'

When I was younger I lived for jumping, I evented at Novice/ Newcomers, which i think was around 3'6/3'9? And was very gung ho and was always getting speed penalties. I was also showjumping at the same heights. This went on until I gave up horses when my children were younger although I had lessons again when they got a bit older and was still happily popping over pretty big jumps.

I got my mare about 13 years ago and taught her to jump and although we never got above 80 before she had to retire from jumping it still wasn't an issue for me. I then loaned a horse from the people I got my mare from and got thrown quite badly ending up hitting a tree and wrecking my lower back and leaving me with partial paralysis in my left leg and foot...needless to say the horse went back!

When I was mobile again I bought my gelding. He's not the sanest horse on the planet and my friends wondered what I'd done but we have gelled and I have no real worries about anything with him except jumping. The first time I tried was pre covid and he decided the place pile was the take off point, gave the jump at least a foot of clearance and I lost my balance at which point he bucked and ducked and off I flew! I got back on and rode him towards the jump but couldn't do it. I left it a few months but everytime I set jumps up I would pull him away and I didn't want to turn him into a stopper so I stopped trying.

Three years ago I did a pole lesson with Geoff Billington ( it's just come up on my memories which is why this is on my mind) and he said at the end he wanted us all to pop over a pole on the bottom hole so we would all then have the right to say we'd had a jumping lesson with him. I went first and again pulled away and in the end Geoff dropped the pole on one side and we went over. I then watched everyone else do the 2 little jumps and they were so proud and I thought 'I can do this!' So asked to go again and we ended up going several more times with the jumps getting higher and I was so pleased that I decided to keep it up when I got home. It took some self convincing but we did it once and then poor Will (horse) did a tendon and gave himself laminitis! He's now all recovered but I'm back to square one and just can't bring myself to do actually do the jump.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did you find worked...if anything? I don't know whether to try a jumping lesson at a riding school...although the issue seems to be jumping Will rather than the actual jumping...or do I get an instructor to give me a lesson with him but it would need to be an instructor that will push me just out of my comfort zone but not to the extent that I'm a quivering wreck 🤦‍♀️

Congrats if you've read the whole post it's longer than I planned 🙈
Click to expand...
I’ve been through all this and know exactly how you feel … you need to have regular lessons with a sympathetic but experienced instructor. I now have someone very good who has skills to help me stay on the horse but patience when I am having a ridiculous confidence wobble ..where abouts are you located ? Maybe someone can recommend someone local to you ?
 
Spiritedly said:
I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue so I thought I'd get opinions from the 'hive mind'

When I was younger I lived for jumping, I evented at Novice/ Newcomers, which i think was around 3'6/3'9? And was very gung ho and was always getting speed penalties. I was also showjumping at the same heights. This went on until I gave up horses when my children were younger although I had lessons again when they got a bit older and was still happily popping over pretty big jumps.

I got my mare about 13 years ago and taught her to jump and although we never got above 80 before she had to retire from jumping it still wasn't an issue for me. I then loaned a horse from the people I got my mare from and got thrown quite badly ending up hitting a tree and wrecking my lower back and leaving me with partial paralysis in my left leg and foot...needless to say the horse went back!

When I was mobile again I bought my gelding. He's not the sanest horse on the planet and my friends wondered what I'd done but we have gelled and I have no real worries about anything with him except jumping. The first time I tried was pre covid and he decided the place pile was the take off point, gave the jump at least a foot of clearance and I lost my balance at which point he bucked and ducked and off I flew! I got back on and rode him towards the jump but couldn't do it. I left it a few months but everytime I set jumps up I would pull him away and I didn't want to turn him into a stopper so I stopped trying.

Three years ago I did a pole lesson with Geoff Billington ( it's just come up on my memories which is why this is on my mind) and he said at the end he wanted us all to pop over a pole on the bottom hole so we would all then have the right to say we'd had a jumping lesson with him. I went first and again pulled away and in the end Geoff dropped the pole on one side and we went over. I then watched everyone else do the 2 little jumps and they were so proud and I thought 'I can do this!' So asked to go again and we ended up going several more times with the jumps getting higher and I was so pleased that I decided to keep it up when I got home. It took some self convincing but we did it once and then poor Will (horse) did a tendon and gave himself laminitis! He's now all recovered but I'm back to square one and just can't bring myself to do actually do the jump.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did you find worked...if anything? I don't know whether to try a jumping lesson at a riding school...although the issue seems to be jumping Will rather than the actual jumping...or do I get an instructor to give me a lesson with him but it would need to be an instructor that will push me just out of my comfort zone but not to the extent that I'm a quivering wreck 🤦‍♀️

Congrats if you've read the whole post it's longer than I planned 🙈
Click to expand...
I have regular private 1/2 hr lessons with a super SJ coach. She often has a laugh at my expense these days as when I first went to her with my very green rescue pony I said I didn’t want to jump I just wanted to do poles on the ground. It has taken a long time for us to get confident but we now happily go out & jump 70 cms. Just find the right coach for you & your horse & have regular lessons.
 
LEC said:
You need to start from scratch and just go over a pole and do it until you find it boring. That can be in walk. When you get bored in walk, then trot and so forth. Pushing boundaries of confidence can only be done when you are truly confident and ready. Then you add more poles, raise a pole one end, raise the whole pole, add fillers to the side. The list is endless but you catch my drift.
You have had some nasty falls and accidents so your brain is screaming at you not to do it in order to protect yourself. Depends how serious you are about wanting to jump to whether you get proper help with your mind or you are happy tinkering about and accepting being female hormones will play a part and one day you will be brave as a lion and the next day doing exactly the same thing as timid as a mouse. Confidence is pretty pliable so if you feel rotten about it either take a step back or don't face it head on that day. The other thing is you have to keep doing it regularly. If you have breaks from it your brain will scream at you again telling you it's dangerous
Click to expand...
This totally. Works for horses and humans :)
And you won't damage your horseby doing literally 5 minutes of poles every day, before going for a hack or whatever.

My horse had a confidence wobble, and I don't have an arena - just a flat ish rock hard 18m x 25m ish grass and weeds area. I put up some titchy jumps and did them every single day for a while, moving them around, doing it before or after a hack, and he came on loads. Far more than going to a jump lesson weekly. The thing is, I felt so much more chilled about jumping too!
 
This is probably not on overly viable option 🤣🤣 but a story to amuse you

When I was 16, I was competing at PC area trials and my horse dropped me headfirst down a drop fence. I was pretty bashed up (concussion etc) Sold that horse. I was utterly terrified showing her off - cold hands, sweating, shaking. Didn't jump her for prospective purchasers
Then bought another who fell over a small x pole going xc, didn't knock me out but did break my nose. So generally, no confidence jumping at all.
Sold him and did A levels.
Gap year - wasn't really riding and definitely wasn't jumping, but went ot work on a farm in Sweden where the son of the farmer had show jumpers.

Said son was a model - think 6'4, blonde hair, blue eyes, cheekbones - he asked the then 19 year old me to help him with his jumping stallion by popping him over a few fences.

Best cure for a loss of nerve - how could I say no to that hunk of gorgeousness 🤣🤣🤣

When I got back to the UK I bought a horse and started eventing again 🤣🤣
 
LEC said:
You need to start from scratch and just go over a pole and do it until you find it boring. That can be in walk. When you get bored in walk, then trot and so forth. Pushing boundaries of confidence can only be done when you are truly confident and ready. Then you add more poles, raise a pole one end, raise the whole pole, add fillers to the side. The list is endless but you catch my drift.
You have had some nasty falls and accidents so your brain is screaming at you not to do it in order to protect yourself. Depends how serious you are about wanting to jump to whether you get proper help with your mind or you are happy tinkering about and accepting being female hormones will play a part and one day you will be brave as a lion and the next day doing exactly the same thing as timid as a mouse. Confidence is pretty pliable so if you feel rotten about it either take a step back or don't face it head on that day. The other thing is you have to keep doing it regularly. If you have breaks from it your brain will scream at you again telling you it's dangerous
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We do poles a lot during groundwork and they're not an issue for either of us. I think my issue is more my belief in whether I can stay on him when he jumps 😞
 
Cragrat said:
This totally. Works for horses and humans :)
And you won't damage your horseby doing literally 5 minutes of poles every day, before going for a hack or whatever.

My horse had a confidence wobble, and I don't have an arena - just a flat ish rock hard 18m x 25m ish grass and weeds area. I put up some titchy jumps and did them every single day for a while, moving them around, doing it before or after a hack, and he came on loads. Far more than going to a jump lesson weekly. The thing is, I felt so much more chilled about jumping too!
Click to expand...
We are both happy to do poles but it's the minute they go up my issue starts. Even if it's bottom hole I'm convinced he will over jump and I'll fall off 😞
 
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If he is going over poles fine then he isn't going to overjump putting it up 1 hole. Tbh you need to get more confident about being secure in the saddle and having a neck strap.
 
Spiritedly said:
We are both happy to do poles but it's the minute they go up mynissie starts. Even if it's bottom hole I'm convinced he will over jump and I'll fall off 😞
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I'm at the age where confidence just deserts you - unexpectedly too.

As well as going back to trip hazard height I had to deal with my brain and that was by accepting i was worried, telling myself I had a decent crash hat etc on and falling off wasn't the end of the world.

The more you jump the easier it gets - but you have to WANT to do it.
 
LEC said:
If he is going over poles fine then he isn't going to overjump putting it up 1 hole. Tbh you need to get more confident about being secure in the saddle and having a neck strap.
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You know that, I know that but unfortunately he was absent the day that was taught 😂

I always use a neck strap and wear a back protector. My issue is I'm not confident about being secure hence this post! I can sit his spooks and his bucks so I know I can ride his jump but I when I approach even a low jump I forget that I 'know' 🤷‍♀️
 
SEL said:
I'm at the age where confidence just deserts you - unexpectedly too.

As well as going back to trip hazard height I had to deal with my brain and that was by accepting i was worried, telling myself I had a decent crash hat etc on and falling off wasn't the end of the world.

The more you jump the easier it gets - but you have to WANT to do it.
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I think it's a combination of my age and the fact that every fall that stays with you tends to be the bad ones and I don't bounce now I break 🙈

I really want to jump again, we have an amazing cross country course a short hack across the field as well as a venue within hacking distance that does dressage, show jumping, arena eventing and eventers challenges and hacking round the woods there are always fallen trees that once would have been paradise but now I look and go 'I'm going to jump that...okay I'll jump it one day'

I did pop him over a log of about 20cm on a hack at the start of the summer and he then jumped 2 branches afterwards and I stayed on and all was good but then I went that way a couple of weeks ago started trotting towards it and went 'actually we'll walk over it today' 🤦‍♀️
 
SEL said:
I'm at the age where confidence just deserts you - unexpectedly too.

As well as going back to trip hazard height I had to deal with my brain and that was by accepting i was worried, telling myself I had a decent crash hat etc on and falling off wasn't the end of the world.

The more you jump the easier it gets - but you have to WANT to do it.
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Ah but you really don’t want to do it because it’s scary !! So you make all sorts of excuses and put it off for trivial reasons and the next thing you know it’s been 3 weeks since you jumped a cross pole …

What you want is to be able to do it !!
 
Just thinking that you got brave in the group lesson watching others do it, so wondering if your local riding club might be an idea? Ours does polework/gridwork sessions every week and they are so good for nervous riders wishing to gain confidence.
 
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