Just a little rant. Disgusted.....

[FionaM12]

What are your own instructors for? I get my knowledge and advice from her. 'Too many cooks...' and all that. My instructor is a highly successful dressage rider and certainly knows her onions.

Going up to complete strangers to inform them they 'YOU' think they have something wrong (and forget this pic of a pelham upside down, I'm talking about anything) is just not cricket.

What if THEIR instructors had told them how to do it? Is the person 'trying to give advice' better than their own instructor? Says who?

I agree. As a second-time round "new" horse owner, I get a bit sick of un-asked for advice. The trouble is, it's often contradictory as even "experts" have differing ideas. So one minute one person steps in and says to me, "do it this way," and five minutes later someone else tells me something opposite!

I REALLY appreciate advice which I ask for, and of course being told your girth's loose could be a life saver, but most things aren't as clear cut as that.

Worse still is when people give unsought after advice and sulk if you don't take it.

 

[5horses2dogsandacat]

Ive skimmed through some of the posts, and there are some really good points made by people, its such a difficult subject, not the fitting of a pelham but how to approach someone, should you and will you end up being told to b****r off.

I do feel these days the bar is so high, at work, home, to be the best, have the best and know the most, that when you are told that your wrong, it doesnt go down too well. I know this doesnt apply to everyone, but when we are told we are wrong we feel that on some level we have failed, and after trying so hard to be the best its rather a kick in the balls. I know the feeling, however I am happy to say I do listen if I am indeed told wrong, I feel like a right plonker and will kick myself for days but thats life, its too short to sit and kick yourself over something silly.

Something I have noticed over the years is how much more complicated horses have become, we ask more of them and we ask more of ourselves as owners. There's so many different bits, nosebands, feeds, rugs etc all competing against each other by companies to be bought. We are led to believe duff information by sellers and advertisers, and I also feel that horses are almost on a factory convayer belt, being broken too quickly and sold on to people who are un the wiser about time, cost and actual care.

I have a very very old book, I think its dated 1890, I've read through it, literally all the care for horses, cows, chickens and dogs are compiled into around about 150 pages. Its quite remarkable how things have progresssed. The thing that it does make me think though is, are the horses of today better off than the horses of years ago... Yes there were still horses who were treated cruelly and uncared for, we still have that today. But have we created an industry that has over bred horses, over thought things, taken horses that could happily have survived on hay and bran that now need so much keeping, cost and time to see them in good condition?


I think I may have rambled off the point, but I hope some people understand what Im trying to say...

 

[FionaM12]

when we are told we are wrong we feel that on some level we have failed, and after trying so hard to be the best its rather a kick in the balls.

To me the trouble is that often whether something's "wrong" is a matter of opinion. Obviously there's only one way up for a pelham bit but there are lots of grey areas too.

When I got Mollie, she was nervous, unsettled and hard to lead. The first day, a very experienced horseperson told me to hold her on a much shorter rope to prevent her leaping about. The next day, an equally experienced person told me to lead her with the loosest rope I could.

I'd rather choose whose methods to follow and ignore contradictory advice but people can get shirty if you don't want their advice.

 

[Enfys]

I, too, will comment on a complete strangers tack if it is going to be dangerous/uncomfortable. I will always do it quietly and without an audience, usually I start off with something like "these bits are buggers aren't they? The number of times I've put them on upside down before...! Your boy might be more comfortable if it is altered a bit, do you need him held while you do it?" It is how I would rather be approached (and have been) than someone marching up and announcing the fact that I have got it wrong to all and sundry.

If I got told to sod off then fair enough, that's my lookout. I don't offer any advice otherwise, unless asked for it and then can only say that this, that, or the other has worked for me, not "Do this"

 

[meesha]

I think we are confusing advice on general riding etc with someone pointing out that something is not fitted as it should be. Should we (as horse riders/owners) not all be looking out for each other and if we see something that could cause injury/discomfort or accident point it out - I would definately point out a loose girth, slipping boot etc but I would do so in a friendly, non judgemental way.

Out hunting for the first time I was given some great advice by the more experienced in the field and it was greatly appreciated.

 

[VoR]

..and what gives you the 'authority' to take it upon yourself to inform people of this? Concern if I notice something dangerous

Are you an instructor? Not a riding instructor no, although not really sure what difference that makes if I see something which, if not attended to could lead to an accident

In that case, I would not be 'paying' you for advice, but kindly informing you it was not asked for.

By all means ignore advice/help you are given and if you have 'forgotten' to do something and have an accident because of it, good luck to you.

Oh, and I've been involved in coaching and training for about 15 years so am well able to put things across in a supportive and caring way....something others might want to learn, cheers!!

 

[DragonSlayer]

By all means ignore advice/help you are given and if you have 'forgotten' to do something and have an accident because of it, good luck to you.

Oh, and I've been involved in coaching and training for about 15 years so am well able to put things across in a supportive and caring way....something others might want to learn, cheers!!

Jolly good and good for you, still does NOT give you the right to take it upon yourself to 'educate' anyone else who has absolutely nothing to do with you.

 

[FionaM12]

By all means ignore advice/help you are given and if you have 'forgotten' to do something and have an accident because of it, good luck to you.

Oh, and I've been involved in coaching and training for about 15 years so am well able to put things across in a supportive and caring way....something others might want to learn, cheers!!

I think it goes without saying that we're not talking about merely pointing out an oversight like a very loose girth. It's more the unasked-for interference which is only the speaker's opinion anyway.

Good for you for your 15 years of coaching experience. But I don't see its relevance here, tbh.

When I was a child if one of us "stuck our oar in" unasked, my mum used to say, "When I want your advice, I'll ask for it."

 

[HihoGinger]

The pelham incident was a one off for me. Rightly or wrongly, I couldn't let that one go, but I tried to be as nice as possible about it.
I see things every day on our yard ( we have a couple of novicey teenage owners and a 21 year old with her first horse) which arent the way "I" personally would do things, but I tend to keep out of it, as it's not my business.
If I am asked for an opinion, I will give it, as carefully as I can, but otherwise I keep my mouth shut.
For example, the 21 year old has now decided that her donkey in an ex racer's body needs a flash noseband. Fair enough, her call. But it is fitted VERY low indeed. The cavesson part is almost as low as you would fit a drop, so you can imagine the rest. I saw her teenage mate "trying" to lunge him in it the other day (that's another story!) , and it made my teeth itch, but he seemed to be able to breathe ok, so I walked away. None of my business.
I think unless it's a genuine welfare issue, it's nicer all round to keep your feelings to yourself. I'm sure there are things that I do that my fellow liveries don't like either, but we are all much the same and keep our traps shut!