Just a pointless moan...

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Dumbo

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Really feel like crying and giving up.
I have the most wonderful horse - on paper he's nothing special at all but he's my pride and joy.
However, this horse ownership is not at all how it's cracked up to be. I love spending time at the yard but dread going up there when I know other people will be around. I constantly feel judged and so excluded. No one likes my horse as apparently he's a bully and now has to live out on a tiny patch of grass seperate from the other horses. The hacking is mostly on the road and the other liveries like going for canters etc which I don't yet have the confidence to do - unfortunately my boy naps very badly out hacking alone otherwise I'd ride out on my own all the time! I haven't been riding for ages but have now stupidly said I'll go for a ride on sunday with the YM... I'm already feeling very anxious :(
I finish sixth form on friday and my plan has always been to move him from part livery at this yard to my village where I can rent the field behind my house. Although that means finding a companion horse and hacking out alone. If this suited my horse it would be a dream come true - no one to bother us and miles of off road hacking... Bliss!
Anyway, I'm now having thoughts of giving up. So much money, time and worry has been put into owning a horse and now the summer is here, I'm dreading all the long pub rides and yard events.
Sorry for the long pointless moan - I just needed to get it off my chest! Hopefully I can move soon and actually enjoy my horse without all the worries and stress :(
 
Find a different yard/ set up that suits you and your horse. It should be a pleasure, especially this time of year.

Mine are at home and when he first came my boy didn't hack on his own so I rode and lead his companion - then I could hack nicely when I wanted to, when I was confident of a hacking route I built up to doing it without a horsey friend.
 
No I don't have lessons.. I'd like some but can't afford them! :(

Yes going to start looking at new yards but can't let go of this idea of having him in my village :(
I've read lots of threads about encouraging horses to hack alone, just all sounds easier said than done!
 
Could you find someone to rent the field in the village with you? You could then ride with them. I'm on a yard I really dislike so can sympathise with you. Put some adverts in tack shops etc to see if anyone would be interested in sharing the field, and look at other yards in the area aswell. You and your horse should be enjoying getting out and about, not dreading it. You need to be somewhere where you have some more supportive people around you.
 
Can't you advertise for someone to share the field? They can share the cost, the horses will have a friend, and you can ask for someone who wants to hack? Pony club might be an idea (or riding club if you're too grown up for pony club!). Then you and your lad can both benefit from the training and socialising; you might meet someone suitable there as well.
 
A couple of options spring to mind.

First, move a larger yard near home temporarily - where you have company whilst you sort out the hacking alone issues with your horse.

Secondly, before moving back to the village put your feelers out (cards in tack shops, notice on local fb page etc) for hacking partners who are happy to meet you for hacks - I'm a bit of a mother hen round our way and meet up with younger riders who need a adult escort and an adult friend whose horse doesnt go out alone .. Might be an option for you?

Xx
 
Hmmm, on the one hand... I'd say find someone to share the field with you so you can hack out together... But in reality, the yo does sound like she is trying to help you... I wouldn't in reality reccomend you moving to a private field if you are lacking in confidence to the extent that you describe... If I were you, I'd chat with you whilst on the hack... Explain your confidence issues and as if she has any advice... With the onset of some time free, I'd spend the summer, hacking in company then trying to overcome the napping with support and guidance and building up your general confidence to a point where you can canter etc... Then perhaps reasses in the autumns by this point you may want to stay at your present yard, or move to the village, at which point you can look for a sharer (field wise) with a horse who you can ride out with or a companion... If your horse is by then happy to hack out without company.

To me it just sounds like you need a bit more experience and confidence before you move to a place without any on site support.
 
I know how you feel, I had no horses for several years, because I could not stand the know it alls who trundle off to the local shows every weekend etc

After we sold our home with land etc, I had just the one horse which was a 4 YO ex sprint racer, so I decided to moved him to a livery yard.

We settled in to the livery place no problem, but I never told the other livery's much about myself, and so they assumed they were somehow better.

At the time I was re training an Ex Racer (which I had done several times before) and I recall comments such as "I wouldn't do that if I were you", "thats wrong", "If it was my horse I would make I come on the bit", "Go on gallop it!" etc etc, along with me coming on the yard to find my horse completely shut in (top door closed) because they didnt like the fact that he could crib (he didnt because he wore a collar)... but gosh I got comments such as "he might and my horse might catch it!"

Grrrrr I could have exploded several times over, but I bit my tongue! There was one lovely young lady there who wanted to learn, and wanted to know how she should ask for a canter walk transition without the horse running through the bridle and becoming heavy. I took her in the school, and talked her through it, and she cracked it almost first time. She obviously then made mention of the fact that I had helped her etc, and the next thing I knew I was being told by another livery that I was a know it all!! OMG I used to keep myself to myself, and only helped her because she asked, I didnt even offer!

After I sold that horse, I didnt have another until I purchased a house with land again, I would never go back to a livery yard, and I also wont have anyone else on my yard.

In my lifetime I have had 1 horse on 1 livery yard, and I think it has scared me for life! :D
 
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