Just for fun -What's your most idiotic fall?

I fell off a 17h3 head first trying to post a letter! Then had to climb on the letter box to get back on (I'm only 5ft1)
 
Had been out on a hack on my own, got back to the yard gate, started to dismount, got the bottom of my body protector caught on the saddle as i was going over, it tyanked my top half backwards and despite landing on my feet I had that much backwards momentum that i just carried on going until i was sat flat on my back in a massive muddy puddle. Horse just turned and looked at me as if to say 'wtf?'
Luckily no one saw me but i did have to own up when they wanted to know why I was soaking wet!

I'm another one who has over egged it getting on and gone straight off the other side :D
 
Twice at a halt! 2 different horses!! :)

1, Had a nice schooling session in an indoor. Finished cooling off, long rein. Kick feet out of stirrups. Something mudt have caught the horses eye outside as he wentvabout 6 foot sideways. I remained where i was, only a good few feet lower!

2, Dismounting outside the stables on my round 14.3 which i dont normally do, but someone had let us out the school gate. Swing leg over, get huge cramp in my calf just as i reach the pointvif no return. Leg gets hooked on the cantle, and i just slide off underneath to land flat on my back. My sister thought i had half killed myself due to the bang of my hat on the floor and i couldnt speak as i was half winded, trying not to laugh and had cramp in my leg so couldnt move!!

Horse in incident 1 wasnt even a bit sorry, horse in incident 2 licked my face!! Didnt help all that much.
 
Years ago in Australia three of us were swimming our horses bareback in the dam in summer. My horse decides to do a big poo in the water. Cue the other two horses making a hasty exit out of the dam. My boy followed but decided to try and cat leap out catching me off guard and I slid off and landed bang in the middle of poo soup. Horse buggered off. Twas a long walk back to the yard in bare feet and wearing only a bikini. I had to be hosed off. Humiliating!
A few years later on was on my other horse and had again jumped on bareback with only a head collar and a rope to go and find a lost rug in a 20 acre field. Horse was an ex jumps racer. I was merrily walking up the field when my third horse, an ex sprint racehorse appears alongside us. He decides to suddenly gallop off ahead of us. The one I was riding decides it's race day and takes off like a bat out of hell after him. Looming in the distance is a 5 bar gate. I knew horse was locked on and would jump it so I bailed out. Sadly I landed on my head minus a hat. Went home with concussion. Doctor came and had a weird look on his face whilst examining me. Realized later I had once again landed in poo and must have smelled a treat.
My most recent was a few months ago and the first fall I had in over 20 years. Was mounting and being clumsy I got my knee wedged under the front of the saddle flap. Darn thing has Velcro knee rolls and god those things make a racket when disturbed. Horse took exception to the almighty ripping noise and decides to quickly exit stage right. At this point I still had my right leg cocked in the air like a dog having a wee. The momentum of horse's quick departure flung me back to the side. I tried with all my might to get my 50 year old leg up and over and ample bum in the saddle but each time I moved the Velcro screamed and horse was now doing a credible canter half pass with bucks and lunges thrown in for good measure. So again I abandon ship (no poo this time) however it's a long way to fall off an 18.2hh at speed and I don't bounce like I used to. Horse was a saint as he came back to me and gave me a nudge whilst I was lying half dazed on the floor. As I got to my knees and was doubled over he gently wedged his head in my armpit and lifted it to help me stand up. He now stands like a rock when I mount.
 
Last edited:
Out the front door of one of my first ponies. She stopped, I didn't (slo-mo).

Out the back door of a broncing stallion (slow-mo).

Many between and since but the most frustrating (and amusing after the event), was the time I washed, groomed and plaited my friends pony well into the night, for a show the next day. While jumping in warm up, he refused, slid and we both went down into a quagmire. He had been white grey and sparkling and I had been in white shirt and cream joddies. From one side, at least, we still looked perfectly turned out as we entered the ring (our other side was black gloop from head to toe) - fortunately it was only sj!
 
The first time I rode a horse (apart from pony rides at shows and things), I was about seven or eight I think, was on an ancient little welsh mare named Cheeky. She was the spitting image of Merrylegs from Black Beauty. I'd just hopped on when a train went past, as it did several times a day and had done for the many years she'd been in that paddock. Train driver tooted the horn, which he also did several times a day, and we went from snoozing to flat out in .2 of a second, and I stayed on through a gallop - until she stopped, when I promptly landed on my head in her very neat manure pile. I had poo ALL OVER me, including under the sides of my helmet somehow. It got all in my long hair and all over my face. She was a little devil and I adored her. Great start to learning to ride! It didn't put me off in the slightest :)
 
I went to open a gate on a 4 year old and leant a bit far, the saddle slipped round and I ended up underneath her, she looked down at me between her front legs with a complete look of disgust. Luckily she was the most sensible 4 year old in the world.

Jumped a hedge out hunting and failed to notice the branch that was lurking above it, hit the branch with my face and fell off over the horses tail about 50 yards into the following field! My nose produced quite a bit of blood!

Helping to break a lead rein pony bareback, I was being led and we were trotting, went round the corner of the school and I just rolled off sideways! The owner who was leading didn't realise and just kept running!
 
I'm being lazy and will quote verbatim from an old thread:

"There was the time I was trying to whistle using my first and index finger on either hand - you know, wolf whistle - out on a hack. Reins hanging around the horse's neck, feet out of the stirrups. Had been going along trying, and failing. Sort of 'Whoosh' (sharp exhale of air and no sound) for about an hour. Horse plods along, flicking ears occasionally as the air is forced out between my teeth and my fingers. Am a mile from home, having just turned into the our lane. Still no luck. Still no reins. Still no stirrups. And then it happened. An almighty 'Wheeeeee!'. Horse got such a fright she lept forward about 20 feet. I fell straight out the back door and landed on my bum. Horse gallops home. Behind me I hear tooting and raucous laughter as the neighbour and her kids are in hysterics. Miserable b*ggers never offered me a lift home, though. I had to walk with a very sore backside and ended up sitting on a cushion with a hole in it for 6 weeks."

If you want a laugh, and a trip down memory lane of quite a few missing HHOers, the whole thread is here:

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/foru...hing-YOU-VE-done-)/page10#pkQe6z2cGee69lIx.99
 
As a teenager riding a little round pony with no whithers, pony liked to buck like crazy but wasn't very good at it (never had anyone off). I was showing off making him canter round a field while he bucked, saddle went right over his head with me still on it! I was left sat in the saddle with my feet in the stirrups and the girth still done up, still holding the reins with the pony staring at me in shock. The worst thing was my boss and his girlfriend were riding past on the other side of the fence and saw the whole thing.

Also, at college during cross-country training we were all waiting in the water and being called out one by one to jump a fence. I was too busy laughing at the antics of another horse playing in the water, didn't pay attention at all when called poor horse with no prep at all did huge cat-leap over the fence and threw me onto the mud with a huge splat.
 
blood_magik said:
Mine was when I flung myself off before I got decked into the wall of the school - I'd smacked my horse's bum to wake him up and he took exception to it. 🙄

I landed on my feet and snapped my tibia up near my knee in the process.
I was on crutches for nearly three months and could ride properly for five. 😞
Click to expand...

Damn I broke my tibia in the same place but I landed on my knees with my lower legs stuck outwards sideways looking like they had been dislocated. I did that when trying to get onto an ex racer and he bolted leaving me at the mounting block. I stupidly got back on a horse after almost 3 months while still using crutches to walk.

My most stupid fall though was being given a leg up by someone who was quite strong and threw me up and over the horse. I landed on the ground at the other side with the mare looking at me like I am an idiot and the person who threw me up doubled over laughing. :)
 
Forgot to do up my girth, went to get on from the floor, saddle slipped and both me and the saddle ended up under the horse's belly.
 
I was in a jumping lesson and the pony i was riding decided it was all very exciting. Cue pony cantering off, stop, buck and leap all four feet off the floor. I stayed on for all of that, only when he stood still that i just slid off. He was only 12hh so it wasn't far to fall but the little **** cantered off as soon as i hit the deck.
 
Years ago, I'd let my pony out to eat some grass up a hedgerow bit (between his field and outer fence) where there was a strip of grass up it. Decided it was time to bring him in, got on him bareback with a headcollar as you do. Pony spooked (spooky pony-eating hedgerow remember) and took off full pelt downhill along the narrow strip - I slipped off and smacked straight into a fencepost, ended up on my back with my leg up the post - the whole back of it was black with bruising for days.

Competing-wise, getting dumped at G doing my final salute at a BE event was pretty embarassing - horse tanked off back to my mum in the practice area :(
 
( 1 ) A long while ago, jump pony over small log in the woods, fail to notice low branch on landing side. End up laying on his back facing skywards, being scraped off so that his tail was between my legs, whereupon I fell splat. Pony walked on a bit and then came back and was probably asking 'what happened to you?' Fortunately I was alone.
( 2 ) Years ago, out riding with friends. One needs a comfort break so I hold her horse's reins. Said horse turns round and faces mine and rubs his head on my knee, catches the pelham hook in my garter strap and proceeds to walk off taking my leg with him. Rider returns from break to find me suspended between 2 horses facing skywards again and every one in hysterics. I fell to the ground when the garter strap broke.
 
When I was about 11, I was in a lesson and my instructor was teaching us to do the full scissors. I couldn't get my legs high enough behind the saddle so she lifted them up for me ... ended up with me sliding off pony's shoulder and faceplanting into the arena surface, with my instructor still holding my feet in the air!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top