just got home from the yard and im upset :(

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Rosiejazzandpia

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Apologies for long post. Just need to get this off my chest.
All last year I loaned my YOs horse until she retired. Now I loan from a livery who has two horses.
When I was loaning YOs pony YO was lovely, chatty friendly etc. Now she is rude and does not speak to me unless she is telling me Im doing something wrong. I know she dislikes my horses owner but I dont know what ive done wrong.
Earlier I went up to feed the horses as they have been in today and found that YO has moved a shovel brush and pitchfork from outside my horses stable (where she toldme I could put it) to inside my horses stable where she could have injured herself seriously on it!
I am upset because for weeks other liveries on my yard have been rude to me and have moved my stuff about. The liveries in the stable next door to my horse are particularly rude, always commenting that my horse is no good for anything, that she needs her mane pulling/shoes/a new headcollar/haylage/feed and little thing like this. These people are a family. Parents in mid 50s and 2 bitchy daughters in their mid 20s.
They move feed buckets, they have taken my haynet down and left it outside in all weathers because it is where their horse can snatch a mouthful (this will ruin said horses diet apparently) despite this being where YO has specifically told me to put the net! They have acres of space to store all their stuff (they have a bike in the feed room!) and we have nowhere to store things or it gets moved :(
Today has just topped everything off nicely. Im so upset and angry that adults are bullying me and that there really isnt anything I can do as cannot afford to move yards at the time being and am useless at standing up for myself on top of this it seems that YO and husband are on the same side as the hirrible liveries next door. :( sorry for the rant
What am I doing wrong?? :'(
 
It sounds like they are being very unfair.

Could it perhaps be, they want you to move form the yard? maybe to get another Horse or have a friend there?

How old are you? Could your parents not have a word with them? or could you take them with you when you do Horse?

I would make the Horses owner aware of what is going on too. Just incase something they do results in Horse getting injured. She may also move the Horse or allow you too go somewhere else.

It doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong. They just soud like spiteful people. I am sorry you are going through this.
 
I would be asking why a fork was put in my horses stable, it is beyond dangerous, and I would be spitting, but then I would have been flipping out at the time.
You need to talk to her possibly after talking to the horses owner, and sort things out, as it does look like it is going to effect your horses well being. If YO hates this woman this much, why on earth does she have her on the yard?
One question though, when you stopped loaning her horse, what did she say about you loaning your current one? This could have been building for a while.
 
I doubt you are doing anything wrong, sounds horrible. I never understand why people are like this, we have horses for pleasure yet they turn it in to a battleground. Have you spoken to your horse's owner about it?

When I first had my own horse I went to a yard and one of the liveries sort of controlled the others, I couldn't do a thing right - it was a joke so I just left and left them to it. No chance of you persuading the owner to move I suppose. This is what happens when the yard owner is as wet as a bucket of fish.
 
What a horrible atmosphere for you to put up with. Why is it this seems to happen at so many yards??? Is it something to do with too many hormonal women being together... anyway, you can either speak to your horses owner and ask if she knows what is wrong and if she would consider moving yards, OR you can find a horse at a different yard to loan...
 
Ok - the sensible advice first.... speak to the person you loan the horse off - tonight - tell them just about the stuff being put in the stable, and the horrors next door moving your hay - tell her how upset you are - you do not know what you have done wrong and feel like giving her horse up. This should push her into action, a good loaner is worth their weight in gold - and you certainly should not be putting up with this crap. Out of interest are you paying the yo or the loaner for the horses keep? - or are you just doing jobs for the horse owner as reward for riding?

Next the not so sensible stuff - just find a nickname that suits the egits next door - the "snotty wobble idiots "- the "dont do this's", the "do as i says" - and when they are their think about the silliest nickname you can come up with, so you snigger and look happy most of the time - or put a dim look on your face, and everytime they move your net just put it back up again, if they say ought, just say "only doing what the ym has told me, and i dont want to be getting in to trouble"
 
Hi I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time at your yard, that really isn't fair when having horses is supposed to be fun. The people on your yard don't sound too nice so your best plan is probably to ignore the lot of them and don't waste your precious time or energy getting upset over their silly games.

It sounds as though they are picking on you because they think they can with no consequences. The best thing is to take no notice and try to put on an air of indifference. Rather than worrying about what they might say or do to you next, walk confidently around with an attitude of 'I'm not taking any of this nonsense from you' and concentrate as much as you can on enjoying your horse. Once they realise you are too strong in character to fall for their sillyness they will have more respect for you.

If the YO continues to do stupid things like putting your tools in the stable I would ask for a quiet word with her and then have an open and honest conversation with her. Keep it short and to the point and just state clearly what you want to happen from now on.

Unfortunately horse yards can be very bitchy places, most of the people on here have suffered from it at some time. As long as you stay strong and keep your chin up you will be fine, good luck :)
 
How horrible for you. I am really sorry you are having to put up with this sort of behaviour which in my opinion is bullying and totally unacceptable.

I don't know how old you are, and I know this may be difficult for you and it would be for me as I am rubbish at sticking up for myself, but if I were you I would take the YO to one side in private and ask her to explain her behaviour and attitude towards you and ask her what you have done wrong to make her treat you in this way.

This may embarrass her and may shock her enough to nip it in the bud, especially if she isnt used to you standing up for yourself. Would also definitely talk to the horse's owner about it and tell her what is going on so if anything happens to her horse due to their spiteful and childish behaviour she will at least have an idea of what is going on.

Good luck ! I do feel for you. I'm not sure what it is about horses that seem to bring out the very worst in some people x
 
Sounds like they are picking on you as they percieve you as an easy target. Not surprised they gang up on you, bullies are hardly brave people. Water off ducks back in tems of their comments. Best way is not to let them know they are getting to you. Yards are tough places. If you want to get what you feel is revenge on them, enjoy your horse. Those I've known who do this are those who through normally fear or not knowing how to achieve what they want don't enjoy their horse.

Talk to horse owner, let her know what is going on re fork, as it is putting her horse in danger. She can have a chat with YO to restablish your parameters so if there are infringements in the future you can go back to her & YO.
 
I think you should look for another loan. This situation must be horrible for you. Even if you manage to stand up to these people, then you are still going to be very lonely at this place and horses are supposed to be fun.
 
Really its bad isn t it? How many businesses get to charge you for their services then treat you like crap? Again and again it crops up on here...Im so surprised at how many parents of grown up kids support and encourage their bitchy behaviour. I opted out ages ago and struck lucky when i got my horse onto a smallholding with the farmers horses..there are no facilities there but Its far far better than being around loonies.
I would honestly have an ask around local farms..I had a few knock backs before finding my perfect place........but ive only ever been met with a smile and i feel totally comfortable when spending precious spare time with my horse..added to that it is considerably cheaper than the yard i was at with the loonies.
 
U poor thing!! Sending u a hug!!!!!

Sounds like a horrible situation. Having a horse for majority of people is a hobby and all hobbies must be enjoyable! This clearly is not enjoyable for you because of these people ruining it!

Having a pulled mane etc is all down to owner/loaners personal choice. If you want your horses mane long/short/hogged however is down to you!!!

You can either confront the bully (not at all easy) and ask if there is a problem.

Act as though its not bothering you (if you show ur upset it often fuels a bully further) and hope it settles down.

Or find another loan horse! Loads of lovely horses for loan at the moment!!! Including mine, come ride my boy at a lovely friendly yard ;):)
 
If you know she dislikes the owner of the horse why not look round to see if there is anywhere in the same price range locally. Tell the owner you are unhappy and if she would consider moving horse. Then mention a yard you've heard about/friend used to be at. You may find she's desperate to be out too, or if you've loaned a while and she trusts you may let you move it away.
I would mention the fork being in stable whatever you decide though. The owner needs to know there is a problem that could injure your horse. She may well sort the situation instantly.
 
Think like a horse - enforce your right to be there and make them respect your space. Dealing with nasty people on yards is just like dealing with disrespectful horses. Don't let them push you around; I've had problems with people just like that - most of us have. As others on this thread have said, speak to the horse's owner and make sure you are taken seriously.

All the best,
- Epona97
 
Thank you everybody for all your help! :) I knew I could count on getting some support from here :)
going to follow all your advice and speak to my horses owner when she finishes work later

LaurenBay- Im not sure why they are being awful, I think it may be because they have been there longer than us. And Im 17.

Zaminda- she didnt really say anything. I gave her plenty of notice and sat down with her and explained I no longer wanted to pay so much and that I felt I needed a bigger and more capable horse.

Gingerwitch- thanks for your advice. The nicknames bit made me laugh :) Im currently paying the horses owner not the yard owner and then owner settles up the money at the end of each month.

Aintgotnohay- no, where I am is a local farm. Dont want to mention its name but it isnt the one you said.

Once again thank you all so much. Im going to try all your tips and your advice is very much appreciated :)
Maria xx
 
At 17 you really do need to get your parents involved. At that age I wouldn't have coped with the situation. They are intimidating you and sadly because of your age will continue to do so. There may be no other option than to leave and tbh I wouldn't want to be on a yard like this.
 
Maria13 said:
Thank you everybody for all your help! :

Im currently paying the horses owner not the yard owner and then owner settles up the money at the end of each month.
Maria xx
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I wonder if this is part of the problem - a) you are not veiwed as a client if you know what i mean or b) is the lady your paying, paying the yard on time?

I only ask this as a girl was on our yard, and she was paying the horse owner, the horse owner was not paying the livery yard manager - so the loaner got all the grief and unpleasantness ?
 
Some good advice. Sounds like the trigger seemed to be when you stopped loaning YO horse. You need some back up so get your parents involved & they might back down if you have some support behind you. It's easy for them as you are young.
 
Just out of interest though and not to be a doom merchant.
How many of you were having problems like this then resolved them and ended up happy on the same yard with the same people?
 
I'm suffering from almost exactly the same thing at the yard I'm on and am desperately looking around for another place to keep my horse.

I wish my parents would get involved, but unfortunately I'm 44, so it wouldn't look that credible :p

I honestly don't think age has much to do with it. If a person is on a yard of mean spirited, interfering busy bodies, the only thing to do is move I think. :(
 
luckyoldme said:
Just out of interest though and not to be a doom merchant.
How many of you were having problems like this then resolved them and ended up happy on the same yard with the same people?
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Not me- they were beyond reason and moved between 'targets' so it wasn't like there was an issue with me specifically, although I got it worse as I was very quiet- I did try and have it out with the ring-leader, but it made it worse- I moved in the end, pay too much money to be unhappy.
 
Catpawn said:
I'm suffering from almost exactly the same thing at the yard I'm on and am desperately looking around for another place to keep my horse.

I wish my parents would get involved, but unfortunately I'm 44, so it wouldn't look that credible :p

I honestly don't think age has much to do with it. If a person is on a yard of mean spirited, interfering busy bodies, the only thing to do is move I think. :(
Click to expand...

Black Beauty just sprang to mind then - I have no idea why !
 
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