just need to get it off my chest( pointless post really lol)

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splashnutti1

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Okay so last year i suddenly lost my lovely mare of 10 years :(

I now have a new lad who is perfect in everyway bar one problem, i took him to his 4th show since i have had him on sunday and all is ok till his freind who goes with him wants to leave to go in a class, he gets quite upset, i have had this prob every time but sunday it was exceptionally bad resulting in him having a bonkers moment and snapping my girth!!! (fortunately i wasnt on board at the time) Now he can still see his friend but doesnt help, he literally has to be right next to him. He is a big cob to be leaping about and i worry incase he squashes someone, i try to stand him away from crowds but not always easy.

Having had a bad confidence issue since my mare died (which is slowly improving) i found it all very stressful and i found my self getting upset and just wishing my mare had never died and wanting her back more than ever.( I know i am an adult and shouldnt be so pathetic ( you will all think i am stupid lol) but my mare was so good and was my stress reliever and much needed break from my hectic homelife where i care for my sick partner plus work a full time job so do need to destress lol) i felt so stupid :o

Dont get me wrong i love my new lad and most of the time he is great and and such a loving boy, i feel guilty for comparing him to my girl cos he is still just a baby and such a star and i know i need to work on the problem which i can do and i am sure he will eventually be fine ( was already improving with work towards the end of the day).

Am i wrong to miss my mare so much after so long??
Any tips on settling my lad away from his friend at the show ( they are not stabled together, are on different yards but do hack out together)

sorry for my rambling :rolleyes: xx
 
You may well have tried this but have you attempted to walk/take your horse away from the other horse on his own rather than the other horse leaving you? Take yours away to another part of the field for example?
 
I guess the answer may be to practice at home. If they dont have a close bond at home it may be harder.

Have you tried taking him on his own?

Dont fret over the comparison thing, its only natural that you will compare the two but as you get to know your new boy more and more things will get easier
 
Hi hun yep tried this he was still the same however i worked on it and he did improve towards the end of the day, would ride away form other horse and then stand and let other horse ride away from him, next show going to get there early and repeat what we did see if it helps, also going to take my dually and do some ground work whilst there give him something to think about and gain his respect a bit better cos he just loses his head and his manners go to lol.

Oh he is worse where its busier eg next to rings, when at the practice ring on sunday where it was quieter(less horses) he wasnt so bad and did eventually settle, listen to me and relax at side whilst other horse worked in but as soon as we went down to ringside where other horses were moving about and much to his horror cantering around with his friend he got really upset and refused to settle(although was just fidgeting and running the odd circle round me then standing for a few secs and repeat which wasnt to bad) but then someone cantered behind him really close which warranted the explosion which snapped my girth:rolleyes:

Any other ideas much appreciated :)
 
WelshD said:
I guess the answer may be to practice at home. If they dont have a close bond at home it may be harder.

Have you tried taking him on his own?

Dont fret over the comparison thing, its only natural that you will compare the two but as you get to know your new boy more and more things will get easier
Click to expand...

Thanks hun its hard cos miss her so much.

Unfortunately at home he isnt bothered at all where other horses are couldnt care less so is hard to work on it at home, is literally only at a show, he will go on a hack and quite happily leave other horse to go home alone no bother?? is odd lol. i wonder if its cos there is other horses and he feels threatened?

have considered taking him by himself if he doesnt improve x
 
I think you should try taking him on his own for a few weeks and see if he starts to improve. Then maybe after your class you could "bump" into your friend so to speak and see his reaction and take it from there.
 
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