just venting, excuse the longness...

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I am so frustrated I just want to cry
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Basically, I'm 16 and my parents have never been able to afford to buy me a horse. Currently I'm riding horse A for someone I know through my riding instructor and have been for a couple of years. I have so far worked at dressage, driving and polo yards.

For me, dressage is the most fascinating thing in the world and I've loved it from the age of about 9 but the one thing you need, is money. The horse I'm riding at the moment is not a dressage horse my any means and our partnership is just not working - its like hitting my head on a brick wall, plus there's difficulties with the owner.
My RI (who has always really supported me) has found me another horse to ride so that I can have lessons over the winter as its too dark and muddy to ride horse A (theres no school). I went to try it today and just don't know what to think. It used to be well schooled but its owner has completely lost any inch of confidence riding it as it is extremely sensitive, spooks violently, is very nervous, has been off proper work for over a year, is cold-backed and used to have a badly fitting saddle = disaster. Anyway, I am just so fed up of feeling like I'm going nowhere. They want me to start riding it regularly (ie 3-4 times a week) but because of school commitments and needing someone to be with me (this would have to be RI who obviously we have to pay for her time) just in case it can only be once. On one hand I think I can learn SO much from horse B, something which I think is absolutely priceless, but on the other hand I dont want to mess it up with horse A and end up with nothing to ride, I don't want to be turned into a rider that is as nervous as her owner and I dont want to be wasting my time trying to fix something which is just unfixable hurting me emotionally and possibly physically.
Argh, I know I'm probably reading too much into this.
The truth is that the only horses available are those who either nobody else wants to ride or those that their owners want a small fortune + for you to be their slave for ungodly long hours when I already have one horse to ride, a part time job and important exams coming up (i suffer from extreme fatigue and get ill because of it). Having said that, as I'm sure you'll all understand, horses are such a big part of my life and I would die to be able to properly compete (my old RI has already put me off doing BYRDS because, I quote "they all have flashy horses and it wouldn't be suitable"). I've tried sharing but its impossible to find something suitable (don't want to go out of the frying pan and into the fire), looked into buying a million times over, riding horses for numerous other people bla bla bla...

Hope this makes sense, please don't think I'm a spoilt brat, I often feel like Im being one. I feel a bit better now
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Hmmmm I think it entirely depends on if Horse B is like that because it hasnt been in proper work or has it always been like that and is that why they have lost confidence riding it?
Only you know if you are capable of turning it around it could be great once back in proper work but then again it could, as you said, damage your confidence or hurt you..Very tricky situation...probably havent helped much but I do understand what your saying. You dont sound like a spoilt brat! You sound like someone who loves horses very much just like the rest of us
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I really dont know what I would do, just go with instinct. If your riding instructor thinks you could do well with horse B, surely she'll know? With regards to buying, just be patient, I was 18 when I got my first pony and he is definately worth the wait
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You mention that with horse A you feel you are hitting your head against a brick wall, is this because you have taken this horse as far as it is capable of or are there other reasons? You also mention there are issues with the owner, again you need to consider whether these issues are resolvable?!

Horse B sounds like a good project that could be extremely rewarding, but with everything you only get out of it as much as you put in. Is there a reason why you must have your RI there when riding this horse?

My thinking is if you have taken horse A as far as you can and are having issues with the owner, then perhaps now would be the ideal time to move on to something else, perhaps horse B. Obviously only you know whether you are capable where horse B is concerned, and I would definately not suggest taking it on if you think it is too much for you, which I imagine is what happened where the owner is concerned.

But if I were in your position I would be thinking about what I can get out of each opportunity, as after all you have been given the chance to ride both of these horses if you wish and are therefore a capable rider.

When I'm stressing about things I try to work out whether it really is an issue, I think about how much control I have over the issue and also whether I would feel it was an issue in a weeks time, tends to put things in perspective a little
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Oh dear. This is one of the few sports that even with all the enthusiam, dedication, time, emotional investment, ambition and practice you're unlikely to get far without money unless you're very very lucky. I don't know where you're up to with school/work but one idea could be to look for a job as a WP in a dressage yard, this is one way that talented dedicated riders can become successful without financial backing. Or if you don't fancy working with horses or are working towards university or something(sensible!) so you can get a good job and buy your own horse, you'll just have to try to be patient.

I'd give the new horse you've just tried another go, it seems the one you ride now is not really enough for you and this other one sounds like its got more about it. Sensitive horses make or break riders so as you've said you will learn alot from it and if the talent and schooling are there and its just got its wires a bit crossed you really could do each other a favour. Why would your instructer always have to be there? Wouldn't the owners/friends/family help you out a bit sometimes too. I think you've got yourself a good opportunity here, don't pass it up if you really want to achieve your goals.
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Thank you so much for your really helpful comments - its nice seeing what other people think just to get a bit of an outside view on the situation.

Princess Gem - bit of both, neither me nor RI think horse A is capable of going any further, also because of having nowhere to ride her properly atm and because her owner dips in and out and its not very consistent for the horse (not sure if that makes sense!!).

Katie - thank god there are people who have the same opinion as me!!
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- my familys not horsey
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Fell pony - You're right I have my whole adult life to achieve my dreams Im just impatient I guess!
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KVS - You couldn't have put it any better, we can do each other a favour. I think I'm just going to see how it goes for a few weeks. As far as needing someone with me, my mum could come I suppose its just that she's not horsey and if something happens I'd need someone fairly competant to help. I wouldn't dare ride horse alone as it could be dangerous. The owners could be around some of the time but I guess I'd feel a bit bad wasting their time. Having said that, I'm helping them out as they want to sell horse and atm its unsellable jeez the state its in now I wouldn't part with a pound for it!
 
Hey that makes perfect sense.
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I think deep down you will know the right thing to do. I have always followed my gut instinct and I have never gone wrong so far. I would be inclined to say that horse B might be a better option in terms of scope, plus it is unlikely that the owner will intervene by the sounds of things but I can understand you not wanting to go for it only to find that it doesn't work out and that you are left with no horse to ride. Perhaps you should discuss this with your RI as they will have a better idea of your abilities and may be able to calm your concerns regarding horse B, as this does sound like a fantastic opportunity to follow your dreams.

Also just a side thought but were abouts are you located as I worked at a wonderful dressage yard most of my teenage years and learnt absolutely loads and also got to meet the likes of Arthur Kottas amongst other extremely talented dressage trainers/riders, as they held regular dressage clinics.

PM if you want
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Don't get too upset I had to wait till I was 42 to get my horse! (I am B*&^dy old now!) Sometimes you just have to wait a while then you will find that everything will sort itself out. I agree that horse 2 sounds more of a challenge, could the instructor ride it first to get a feel for what you are letting yourself in for?

How about putting ads up to do a share, not everyone is bonkers out there and you may find another horse that's more suitable. I am looking for a sharer for my horse, not a warm blood but a very decent cob and he could do a stonking dressage test! I am short of time having a family and job, so someone like you coming along would be a blessing!

keep looking around and don't rule out the other suggestions on here re looking to work with horses, although I am sure your parents wouldn't thank 'us' for suggesting it if you are indeed studying for uni! Best of luck and keep us posted as to how you get on!!
 
Tbh, there are some horses that need a lot of work to keep tem sane and rideable (i know, i have one). Horse b sounds like that type and frankly, once a week wont cut it. Yes, perhaps you would learn a lot. On the other hand, if you cant keep him sane, he'll potentially put you off.

Id stick with horse a.

As for BYRDS - I dont know how area dependent it is. In the area i was based (derbyshire) it was a little like that and certainly there were people on some serious amount of moneys worth of ponies. Many of these change hands for lots of money without ever been advertised to keep them within the BYRDS and teams scene.

One thing i would say - is your trainer a BD accredited trainer? Is there no chance of you taking the horse you do ride to a BD trainer, preferably one involved with the BYRDS teams?

Some of these ponies will never be sold; they go on loan. Very often such loans are organised through the trainers... its just a thought. Of course, you'd then have to pay for the upkeep costs on a potentially costly pony :/ so perhaps not ideal.
 
can you not advertise as a sharer for a nice dressage horse? there are so many people out there with quality animals that want help from a keen able teenager!!! Do you have to have RI with you all the time?
 
I dont think it matters which horse you ride. Both will teach you an awful lot. Your riding will improve no end from riding the less established or talented horse - and the more difficult they are - they more you will try, the better you will become.

Why not ride both.
 
At the beginning, then yes I need RI with me as owner can't be around, my mum isn't really experienced enough and horse is not safe enough for me to be alone with. I have spent a long time trying to find a share horse and its not easy but I will persevere!!!
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RI is BD accredited but its useful to know that BYRDS ponies are around that aren't known about!

AmyMay - I agree, but I just dont feel im improving or horse A is improving from the partnership - maybe Im wrong :/ .

Thanks everyone for all the advice, im going to stick with both for a while and stick with my gut instinct - its so nice to get advice from people who know what they're on about lol!!
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