Keeping horse after having children

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Emma1992

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Hello everyone! Sorry that my first post is asking for advice rather than giving it but I've been going around in circles with my husband.



I'm pregnant with my second child, and expecting end of July. We're doing some financial planning as I'll be on Mat leave for hopefully one year.



We put both our salaries into one pot (husband quite a bit more than me) pay all of the bills/savings etc out of that pot, and then split the rest equally between us so we have the same spending money. The problem is, once I go on Mat leave (any maybe when I go back part time) the total 'pot' gets smaller and so do our equal halves, and I don't think that what I'll have left will be able to cover the costs of having my horse on full livery, which he would need to continue on.



I just don't know what to do - my husbands 'half' of spending money will be going down too, and he'll need to cut back on his hobby. I know it's unfair, but if he were to give that up entirely, and I were to have that spending money too, then I think I could make it work.



Not sure what I'm after here - guess other experiences of having a baby whilst trying to keep the finances working to keep my horse (wasn't an issue with my first as we had lots of savings) , and whether I'm being unfair to ask my husband to completely sacrifice his hobby so I can continue mine? That's before we get into equal time for hobbies!



Thanks
 
All valid points and of course it’s possible but maybe not the right thing to keep your horse. Especially on full livery. Loads of options including sharers loaning horse out for a set period or even selling. Before doing all that I’d sit down and decide what I’d really like in an ideal world then book a table at a pub or restaurant (neutral ground) to discuss with hubby all the thoughts and feelings going on. He may surprise you and want you to keep the horse. Mine did when finances changed. I gave up riding when I had my son so can’t speak from experience my little mare was already out on loan. She stayed with the lady until she was 28!
 
How old is baby number 1?
I managed to do my horse on DIY with a little help when my daughter was born. It wasn't easy but well timed feeding and the drive to the yard often meant I could get him turned out and mucked out. They were great at throwing feed or hay over the door if I left them ready just incase I was running late. It gave me a reason to get up, get ready and go out which I think looking back probably did me good.

I put him out on loan when she was too old to sleep through, more awake and more active, it as that's when i started finding things too much.
 
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Full grass livery would work well. I’ve been on yards with that option that had good facilities. Probably with a sharer.

Or part livery with a sharer? Or loan your horse out for the year?

I already had my ponies on the cheapest option: rent a field. I competed to a reasonable level from that field with a grass school. While the children were very young I had sharers for all ponies to keep them ticking over.
 
This doesn't in any way help with your current dilemma, but I was very determined to keep my horse during and after having children - I had this feeling that once that space in life and money was reallocated, it wouldn't be easy to find again. It worked in a sense, although competing and riding have never been as easy since! But I agree with others that it wouldn’t be fair for either you and husband to totally give up your hobbies.

Is there anything other than full livery that would do? If you did decide to sell you could look for a share for a few years which is a lot more affordable than full livery but keeps you ticking over.
 
mariew said:
Diy/grass livery if you have anything around you where horse can be out 24/7 if you only have time to check on him for 5 minutes some days l. Forcing your other half to give up his hobbies to pay for yours sounds unfair and could easily lead to resentment from his side.
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Agree, that can’t even be an option.
 
I think it would be really unfair to expect your husband to cut back his hobby fund to boost yours.

Ultimately you probably need to decide on your priorities for you time/lifestyle/available money.

So you either DIY/assisted or look for grass livery if you want to keep the horse and do more of the work yourself, at least while on mat/pt. Or you full loan/sell.
 
Full grass livery isn’t cheap either - around here it’s still £350 odd a month. It would be crazy to expect your husband to sacrifice his hobby for yours, horses are a massive luxury especially if on full livery.
 
Your husband mustn’t sacrifice his hobby, that’s unfair. Depending on the cost of full livery look at other options. You’ll be busy with two children, presumably both very young, so things will need to change anyway. What help is around? A sharer for a couple of days could work and reduce costs whilst keeping horse care the same. Would DIY work if turned out to grass? It will largely depend end on the type of horse you have and the current regime, without knowing that it’s difficult to help, but good that you are thinking through options and getting organised a few months ahead.
 
I faced a similar dilemma. Used cheap DIY livery. It was easier when they were very small - more portable and biddable! But it stopped working as they got older and were clearly bored/cold/unhappy up the yard every day after school. At that point I gave it all up for a few years. Asking my husband to fund full livery was never a consideration.
 
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