Trish C
Well-Known Member
Monty Knobberts and Princess Priscilla the Useless Yard Kitten are really going at it this week. After the weekend's dismount fiasco (which ended up with me landing in a heap on top of the slightly speshul fox terrier, the kitten perched on top of a wall and Monty taking evasive action behind a bush) a ceasefire seems ever further away. I'm going to set up video cameras to monitor the situation... and I will of course post my findings as an investigative journalist on here. I may also have to get a UN negotiator in to begin peace talks as the area is getting increasingly volatile and my patience is distinctly decreased.
I wouldn't mind quite so much but for the fact that Monty ignores every single other cat, and Priscilla ignores every single other horse. Tomorrow we begin the peace process in earnest, as tonight really was just too much... the final strawbomb.
Priscilla, who is actually a cross between a hearth-mat and a retriever (she hasn't got a notion of ever hunting anything but she does have a good recall and do a passable 'fetch'), has taken to venturing out of the house and all the way to the end of the drive when we hack out, though not through the grass as she hates getting her paws wet. There she sits and waits until we come back through the gate and then launches herself out in front of Monty, hissing. This causes Monty to do his impression of a hippo doing an impression of a giraffe doing an impression of an overweight impala on a pogo stick.
Tonight I arrived at the stables and didn't hear the usual neigh from Monty that I always get when I pull in. I wandered round into the yard and no head over the door. Odd, normally as soon as I arrive he's straight over. So I looked into the stable and he was standing in the far back corner with his head down staring intently at something. Opened the door, and there was Priscilla in his stable, engaged in a staring contest with Knobberts. I had to physically remove her from the yard before he'd move.
Popped in the school for a session of a pure knobberism (that wall that he's seen every day of his life has formed some sort of an allegiance with Priscilla and is DEFINITELY going to eat him). It was a little humid so I left my coat beside my grooming kit whilst schooling him. Once we'd finished fighting over left bend/trot impulsion/horse-eating-wall-monsters and G, who dared stand beside the fence watching for a couple of minutes (G was DEFINITELY going to eat him as well), I tied him up outside his stable to untack/rub down before turnout.
Untacked, replaced tack in tack room. Had been all of thirty seconds when I heard a Monty squeal (very distinctive, for such a big macho horse he has a very girly squeal) and much stamping. He was trying to stamp on my coat, which was taking evasive action around him. The coat did several circles then ran into a wall, with Monty the Knobber doing his best to demolish the entire stable block. Priscilla the Useless shot out from under the coat, which by this time was resembling a grass skirt, and up into the hanging basket that Knobberts had this morning attacked during an earlier escape.
Millie the little dun filly, who is half horse-half camel (she's a wobbler) then appeared beside me, as I was trying to settle Knobberts. Turns out she's learned a nifty little trick for escaping from her box (wonder where she learned that?!!) so she gave me her usual sweet little nuzzle, then calmly wandered over towards the feed room. Had to abandon peace talks for WWIII to catch her, during which few seconds Knobberts untied himself and launched an assault on the hanging basket.
The kitten is now stuck on the roof refusing to come down, Knobberts is charging around the field like he's just defeated the world's number one enemy, my coat is beyond repair (though it may make decent wall insulation) and the hanging basket, YO's pride and joy, is looking very, VERY sorry for itself in a bucket... which doesn't have a handle but sports a large split down the side since Monty played bucket-discus with it last week.
I feel like I'm living in a Carry On film
I wouldn't mind quite so much but for the fact that Monty ignores every single other cat, and Priscilla ignores every single other horse. Tomorrow we begin the peace process in earnest, as tonight really was just too much... the final strawbomb.
Priscilla, who is actually a cross between a hearth-mat and a retriever (she hasn't got a notion of ever hunting anything but she does have a good recall and do a passable 'fetch'), has taken to venturing out of the house and all the way to the end of the drive when we hack out, though not through the grass as she hates getting her paws wet. There she sits and waits until we come back through the gate and then launches herself out in front of Monty, hissing. This causes Monty to do his impression of a hippo doing an impression of a giraffe doing an impression of an overweight impala on a pogo stick.
Tonight I arrived at the stables and didn't hear the usual neigh from Monty that I always get when I pull in. I wandered round into the yard and no head over the door. Odd, normally as soon as I arrive he's straight over. So I looked into the stable and he was standing in the far back corner with his head down staring intently at something. Opened the door, and there was Priscilla in his stable, engaged in a staring contest with Knobberts. I had to physically remove her from the yard before he'd move.
Popped in the school for a session of a pure knobberism (that wall that he's seen every day of his life has formed some sort of an allegiance with Priscilla and is DEFINITELY going to eat him). It was a little humid so I left my coat beside my grooming kit whilst schooling him. Once we'd finished fighting over left bend/trot impulsion/horse-eating-wall-monsters and G, who dared stand beside the fence watching for a couple of minutes (G was DEFINITELY going to eat him as well), I tied him up outside his stable to untack/rub down before turnout.
Untacked, replaced tack in tack room. Had been all of thirty seconds when I heard a Monty squeal (very distinctive, for such a big macho horse he has a very girly squeal) and much stamping. He was trying to stamp on my coat, which was taking evasive action around him. The coat did several circles then ran into a wall, with Monty the Knobber doing his best to demolish the entire stable block. Priscilla the Useless shot out from under the coat, which by this time was resembling a grass skirt, and up into the hanging basket that Knobberts had this morning attacked during an earlier escape.
Millie the little dun filly, who is half horse-half camel (she's a wobbler) then appeared beside me, as I was trying to settle Knobberts. Turns out she's learned a nifty little trick for escaping from her box (wonder where she learned that?!!) so she gave me her usual sweet little nuzzle, then calmly wandered over towards the feed room. Had to abandon peace talks for WWIII to catch her, during which few seconds Knobberts untied himself and launched an assault on the hanging basket.
The kitten is now stuck on the roof refusing to come down, Knobberts is charging around the field like he's just defeated the world's number one enemy, my coat is beyond repair (though it may make decent wall insulation) and the hanging basket, YO's pride and joy, is looking very, VERY sorry for itself in a bucket... which doesn't have a handle but sports a large split down the side since Monty played bucket-discus with it last week.
I feel like I'm living in a Carry On film
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All their street cred is well and truly down the pan now.
