Know it alls and experienced advice, where is the line?

Tia, I know you usually give good advice even if it can sometimes be in a very abrupt manner - but - if I was not to know you, (cyber speaking) then my first reaction would probably be to run a mile and think you were very arrogant and rude and who had rattled your cage!
However, after the first shock wore off, I'd also probably try to digest what you actually had said and see if it was helpful for me.
As most are aware, I don't suffer fools gladly but we all have to learn sometime and I honestly think and feel there is absolutely no need to be rude or abrupt when answering a query; sarcasm can sometimes be even worse! Something learnt pleasantly usually stays remembered a lot longer than something thrown at you in a 'take it or leave it but I know best' manner.
 
In regards to being rude to get advice across, I don't think anyone has a right to make some one look like an idiot when there is no need, it's even worse if they do it to make themselves look better.

Most normal people do take advice but I don't see why you can't be nice about it. I sometimes feel you can be a little harsh Tia. I understand your point about information being information and that you don't see why how it is put across should make a difference. It does however & there is little need to ruin someones confidence in the process!

If someone is doing something dangerous the approach may be different, but general advice I don't think there is any need to be mean.
 
The strange thing on this post is that we are assuming that the person giving the advice actually does know more than the person receiving.

How wrong this assumption is. In my experience there are just too many people out there who 'talk the talk' but in reality cant 'walk the walk'.
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Generally advice is better received from someone you know, trust and respect rather than a stranger, which is why as humans we tend to form our own support networks or cliques as they are sometimes referred!
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Ahh yes! Good point mickey66. We have someone like that at our yard. Have to be honest - I just ignore her. I only ask/take advice from certain people on our yard who I know are more knowledgeable than me and ignore the others!!
 
Well on here I'll hop in but then mosts posts on here are asking other peoples advice/thoughts/suggestions.

Out there person to person I agree 100% with this bit of Cruisers post
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It's been interesting to me that people who REALLY know their stuff (Olympic medallists, fantastic riders, successful producers - those sorts) are generally more reticent about how they present their opinions and much more likely to provoke discussion rather than lecture, at least outside a purely instructional capacity. Or if you work for them.;) Most of my experience has been that truly great horsemen are relatively humble people, although if you ask for their opinions they will certainly give them, as they also tend to be stringently honest. Sometimes to a fault.;)

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It's there lead that I try to follow. Since it's impossible to know the whole situation from one look I go with disgression being the better thing.

But then I am a grade a wimpy wimp anyway
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I have to admit I'm of the I'll ask when I want it school of thought (and then it doesn't matter what form it is given in as I already know I want their opinion). Other than that I watch how other people deal with problems and add it to my reperatoire of ideas. I think with horses there never is one Correct answer/way of doing things and as I know my own horses better than anyone I'm not going to do what they tell me just because they've ridden for X no. of years etc.


Hmmm. Makes me sound like I think I know it all doesn't it!
 
See I disagree - I am always being told what to do by my mother and her friends it drives me insane as they think they know best when actually they do not. None of them have very good results, one of their horses is always crocked and my mother well she can criticise with the best but its easy to criticise its hard to imporve somone.
 
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I understand your point about information being information and that you don't see why how it is put across should make a difference. It does however & there is little need to ruin someones confidence in the process

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You see it doesn't to me. When someone gives me advice or passes on information, I don't care whom they are or how they offer that information. I remember it, check it out and then I will know for sure.

As I said in a previous post, it is all down to how the recipient of the information takes the information offered to them. If you are the sort of person who doesn't like being told things or dislike someone knowing more than you then I can understand why one may become defensive; I don't, I'm not interested in who passes on the information to me....I just want the information.
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You are not talking about the same as me; you are saying that the "know-it-alls" you know, don't in fact know much. I am talking about "know-it-alls" who do know what they are talking about.

In all of my posts on this thread I have suggested not to fully believe anything anyone says without checking it out for yourself, regardless of what sort of person it was who said it to you.
 
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Tia, I know you usually give good advice even if it can sometimes be in a very abrupt manner - but - if I was not to know you, (cyber speaking) then my first reaction would probably be to run a mile and think you were very arrogant and rude and who had rattled your cage!
However, after the first shock wore off, I'd also probably try to digest what you actually had said and see if it was helpful for me.
As most are aware, I don't suffer fools gladly but we all have to learn sometime and I honestly think and feel there is absolutely no need to be rude or abrupt when answering a query; sarcasm can sometimes be even worse! Something learnt pleasantly usually stays remembered a lot longer than something thrown at you in a 'take it or leave it but I know best' manner.

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some people here might remember the 'suspected lami' case with my children's ponio.

I had be pretty ignornat in thinking a grazing muzzle would stop him getting htis, and that a piggy paddock didnt have to be bare, just a sectioned off area.

A few people had a right go at me, made jibes and were generally very very rude. In comparison to alot of horse owners I'm far from inexperienced, but still feel i have so much to learn. This was one of those learning curves. at the start of the problem it was mainly know it alls who gave me advice. And some of that advice contributed to the end result... one very fat pony. I learnt from that... to only listen to advice I trust.
Tia gave me fab advice, and if it weren't for her advice I don't think ponio would be where he is now. I think he WOULD have gone down with lami, and I suspect we'd not have got him away from it. At no time did I feel Tia was being a know it all, Tia says it how it is, but then I know Tia is very experienced, and if she gets annoyed it's because she knows an animals welfare is at stake.
Sometimes people read into things wrong and think the person is ignorant or doesnt care. When in actual fact a bit of friendly imapartial advice is all that's needed. I'd rather have advice from someone who came across as frienly than someone who snapped at me anyday.
 
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