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Cobland

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Okay ive always valued everyones opinion. I wanted to share this.

Was told by doctor i would have problems conceiving so stopped using protection. Last few days ive felt weird, sore breasts (sorry guys) etc. Then i realised that my period is late (sorry again guys). Had 2 previous misscarriages so im a bit on edge if i am pregnant. Also have a really sore back that on bad days leaves me unable to do very much.

My 'job' was to buy neglected horses, rehab them and sell them on. Hubby works 8am to 3pm as a lorry driver, monday to friday.

Well hes really lazy around the house, i clean the house and when he comes home he seems to mess it up again. He refuses to help me around the house, he wont even put a load of washing on, says he works all day and i should be the one cleaning the house.

There is 2 horses im working on at the minute to resell (were badly done to), its just taking longer cause of my back. When i get home im exhausted, i clean out 8 horses 3 times a day (anyone with a sore back knows this is hell lol)

All i want is for him to give me a wee hand around the house, 2 of the horses are his and he doesnt even clean them out, its all left to me to train and ride them etc.

Last few days i put mine out in the field so i can tidy the house, hes cleared off with friends to go fishing. Leaving me to do everything around the house. Guaranteed he will come home, dump all his fishing gear for me to clear up and go sit infront of the tv.

Ive had enough, i feel like sending him a message to get his butt home and give me some help!

Anyone think im over reacting?
 
2 out of the 8 horses are his, the rest are your choice, therefore you really should not moan about the work involved. I presume he brings the money home that you live on, the money you make on the re-habs prob just cover the costs of your own horses? If the above is correct then sorry, you are over reacting. I am a stay at home mother and am crap at it, but I do not "expect" my OH to do anything around the house, he pays for me to be at home and my job is to make sure the house is nice.
 
Pssst - try soapbox
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I dont think you are over reacting at all BUT I have to say I think that the majority of men are the same. Now dont get me wrong I love my hubby to bits and he does work long hours. However, I work 8-3, sort the kids, cats, dogs, horses, house, laundry, garden etc. Im exhausted too but HE doesnt do a thing to help. So you see I dont think you are alone.

TBH I dont think getting at him when he is with his mates will help either. He will just get a right strop on cause you have embarrised him.

Sit him down and try to tell him how you are feeling, in a quiet rational way. I know thats easier said than done but he prob doesnt even realise how selfish he is being.

Good luck and lots of hugs to you.
 
Sorry puppy wasnt sure what room to post it in.

Weezy, no he doesnt pay me to stay at home. I did work full time before the accident and ive money from heritance, i never once asked him money for the horses. I dont ask him to help me with my horses, they are my responsibility. Im talking about his 2 horses
 
Should be in SB, but I am with you hun. I have followed my OH around for 20 years with a dustpan and handbrush, worked full time etc etc. My fault from the start, should have nagged! I hired a cleaner last month so I would have the time to enjoy my horses. I refuse to pick up after someone who is perfectly capable of clearing their own plates, shoes, clothes, bath, toilet, work surfaces for themselves
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Rant over.
 
WElcome to the world! My husband goes to work at 6.30 am and gets home after 6pm, I also work full time (ish)!
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. The horses are my choice and the house we live in is to accomodate my horses, so the way I see it is that I am very fortunate and if my husband does try to do things, he usually does them badly (not delibrately, but I am a perfectionist, verging on OCD), so I prefer to do everything myself. If the horses are really a struggle then I would suggest getting rid of a few?
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Sorry puppy wasnt sure what room to post it in.

Weezy, no he doesnt pay me to stay at home. I did work full time before the accident and ive money from heritance, i never once asked him money for the horses. I dont ask him to help me with my horses, they are my responsibility. Im talking about his 2 horses

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Ahh OK, sorry. Men are like that unfortunately. I have trained mine to cook now, so at least he does SOMETHING! I have just accepted the other stuff just isn't going to happen.
 
Thanks Folara, naw i wouldnt get at him infront of his mates. If im able to do the house then i do it, no questioned asked. Last few days ive just been really sore and my tablets arent working.

Previous to this i was staying at the yard cause of my sick mare (wasnt going to but hubby said i should to keep mind at rest).

When i got back home its in a total tip! Hes had friends over, downstairs is stained with beer, and there is cans/bottles everywhere, there isnt a clean dish, clean washing i had left on the spare bed is now mixed in with his dirty washing that was left in the hall (was on the bed to be ironed).

Between the last few days ive lifted out over 10 black bags and there is 5 more today.

Had to replace our washing machine over a month ago as the old one packed in. Old one is still sitting in the kitchen. He seemed to have done some shopping and it was still sitting on the kitchen floor.

Sorry dont mean to moan
 
Have just read your second post, and it does seem that you are living with a bone idle selfish git, now my hubby is universally known as being untrained but even he would put shopping away, although he wouldn't pick up beer cans unless he stubbed his toe on them!!!
 
Sounds like you are having a tough time and you do need to have a chat with him before it brews up too much and you end up resenting him etc.

As Weezy said - men are like that!!
 
I dont blame him totally, he was raised by his parents in believing that it was the womans job to do the house work.

I really dont want to talk him down as he is a loving guy, hes just lazy. Im just sore, tired and annoyed lol.

Been waiting since 6pm to go see my horses. Oh ive got 2 horses advertised, i am trying to reduce my stock. Also the girl that helps me out with the hoses, is away on holiday until the 11th.

Hubby wants me to swap one of my horses for a friends horse that he does ride.

I feel like a right cow now for posting this
 
Don't worry we all love a good moan about them now and again. Doesn't mean we don't love them!!!

My OH is messy and I struggle with it. But he is lovely in other ways!! Hope you sort it out when he gets home.
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My OH is crap around the house - he will admit to it and is probably quite proud of the fact
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But he has plenty of good qualities so I can live with it.
My advice is get a cleaner - the best thing that ever happened to our marriage. I've never got any money but that £7 an hour is the best money I have ever spent. No more arguments about the housework and cleaner does a far better job than I could ever do
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Well I feel sorry for you and I think that your OH should clean up after himself if nothing else. I think I am a bit spoilt because we have a cleaner twice a week and she is brilliant so I don't do any housework, not even ironing and my OH does all the cooking.
 
My OH isn't sure how he ended up feeding me either. I think I am like a baby bird and just squawk until he starts cooking or something like that! Mind you he's just enrolling us on Tesco's on-line diet plans at the minute so I think I will have to get used to less food in the near future.
 
Oh god i dont let my hubby cook!!! I love cooking, and i refuse to let him do the dishes as the food stays on the plates etc lol
 
Looking after a baby is a full time job, so your OH may have to do more to help when you are parents. There is a huge dufference between not helping and actually leaving his stuff for you to clear up. I think you need to sit down calmly and talk to him. Working or not, this is the 21st century, you are neither his mother or his slave and should not be treated as such. There is a difference between you doing the majority of the housework (fair) and him messing up when you have done and leaving it for your to clear up (unfair). Get it sorted before any baby comes along!
 
We both work full time but my OH works at the other end of the country so I only see him at weekends and his holidays. I come home from work and the hoovering will be done. He does most of the cooking and washing up when he is here and I do most of the DIY and cleaning and everything when he isn't here. He washes and irons all his clothes and is very tidy round the house!!! Oh and he comes down in the afternoons to poo pick the field!!

If your looking for a tidy clean OH you need to find one at your nearest armed forces!! They're very tidy!! Highly reconmeded!!
 
Cobland, I do three horses, have a child and work full time. My OH does no cooking, housework or anything else to help around the house. I don't think we are unusual and accept that most women will take on nearly all the responsibility for the house as well as doing their own jobs. So you are not doing anything out of the ordinary, although it does sound as if your OH is very untidy and inconsiderate- and maybe you need to address that.

It does sound as though you need to reduce the number of horses you have, though, especially if you discover you are pregnant.
 
Did test today and it is positive! Talked to hubby last night, i calmly talked about him cleaning up after himself, thats all i want him to do. I dont mind doing the house, its just i get annoyed that he leaves everything at his bum.

Some horses are going to be advertised in this weeks local paper. Have already got a lady that will take 2 of mine on loan, ive known her for a while and she helped me school Mae. The 2 horses will be remaining at the yard. So brings the number down to 4, 3 of which are still youngster that i cant really do anything with at the minute, the other one is being rode next week by a friend (its Mia the wee 12.3hh, too small for me lol)

Want to say a big thanks to you all. Im so sorry for the moaning lol
 
congratulations!!!!!!.........just stock up on ponies now!!!!........tell hubby that you have to keep your feet up for the full 9months!!! x x
 
Any relationship, IMHO needs to be half and half effort from both parties, and a balance of jobs that's fair to both.
For example, my OH works 9 - 5 and has a long drive to work...at the moment I'm working from home, so I am doing a bit more housework. If the tables were turned...he would have to do more housework.
But we also split bills, council tax, being nice to other's parents equally down the middle too.
If he doesn't do housework, I break a few mugs (he collects them!) - works every time and means I can get the cupboard shut!
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