Knowing when it’s time

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Elizabetholiver

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Looking for some advice on how to know when it’s the right time to PTS. Apologies in advance for the long post but just trying to grapple with making a decision or not:(

I have a 27 year old TB who’s retired living out. Since April this year he’s been struggling with his weight and is still underweight despite me trying all kinds of feed. He has poor dentition (his teeth at the back are so worn down now) so he struggles with hay etc and can only really manage soft grass and mash feeds. He is currently on a course of antibiotics for sinusitis, for which if it doesn’t clear up the vet said he would have to have key flap surgery and the area flushed for 5 days. I dont feel it’s fair to put my horse through the surgery if it comes to it due to his age and the fact he’s not managing his weight well.

My vet has said if he doesn’t recover from the antibiotics maybe it’s time to consider PTS from a quality of life aspect before the winter comes in.

I’ve had him 14 years and adore him - it’s so hard because he’s still buzzing to eat his feed each day and is still being cheeky.

When do you know it’s time to say goodbye when he still seems happy in himself? I keep thinking what if he can put weight on again or stable him at night and what if it’s not his time yet, I just feel so worried about making a decision and then regretting it.
 
If your asking the question and the vet has suggested it - then there probably isn't really a decision to be made. So sorry for you.

Just because it is right - doesn't make it easy.

I really believe in "better a month too soon than a day too late". It is the greatest kindness that you can show him - preventing a horrible end for him if he goes down in the field in February and nobody spots him for hours and then you have to PTS in the dark in a panic. Or 20 other scenarios that you can keep him from with your compassion, rather than wait for him to really start to suffer.

They live in the moment, they are prey animals so fight their best not to look ill (or that's the one the predators pick on).

I think if he has to stay in all the time (to get enough mash in) then he can't have the quality of life needed with his friends - then it is time. Even if he is making the best of each day.
 
I have found vets rarely bring PTS up so I'm guessing he's of the opinion that the time has come or is close. The surgery seems unfair as you say, he's a very good age for a TB.
Its so hard to let them go while they seem fairly bright but he's not going to improve much weight wise and I'd not want to see him deteriorating if he was mine. As above its better sooner than later. Hard as it is for us he'll not be anticipating anything and you can plan before the mud and cold make it harder for him.
Have a virtual hug. You'll find plenty of support on here x
 
I let my dog go on too long and it's one of my biggest regrets. She died in pain after a morning being poked and prodded at the vets following 6 months of illness.
Let them go with the sun on their backs. That's what I aim to do from now on.
Sending love whenever you choose to say Goodbye. What a lucky horse to have such a considerate owner. Take care x
 
I agree with Polos Mum even though that won't make it any easier for you.

I had my two older boys pts last week so I do have some understanding of how you must be feeling. I had both of them since foals and it has left a huge hole in my heart but Gands (24) did no hold his weight so well last winter and was not quite right behind and Zinky (21) was his best friend who was arthritic and was also not holding his weight so well having also been too good a do-er when he was younger. They still seemed to have a reasonable quality of life and would go out each morning and groom each other and then boss the rest of the horses around. They were out with their friends being fed polos and carrots by me as the vet sedated them - I found that easier that actually making the call to book the appointment.
 
I too regret letting my pets go too long, even though the vets were telling me to keep them going and try other things.

I would never put an old horse through surgery, it's stressful and uncomfortable and less likely to be successful.

You love your horse, you've obviously been doing everything humanly possible for years, well beyond his natural end and he's still happy, that's such a credit to you. I'd be listening to the vet and considering not just his current health conditions but what is likely to reoccurred or new ones over the next year. Letting him go is likely kinder than trying to struggle on.
 
if he's already struggling through winter, I would do it sooner rather than later! I've seen 2 horses be left too long and their ends were horrific! the first one was a year before I had my 31 year old PTS and from that experience I knew i'd rather do it a day too soon than a day too late! the last one happened a year ago! and he should been PTS before winter kicked in. very very sad
 
Elizabetholiver said:
Looking for some advice on how to know when it’s the right time to PTS. Apologies in advance for the long post but just trying to grapple with making a decision or not:(

I have a 27 year old TB who’s retired living out. Since April this year he’s been struggling with his weight and is still underweight despite me trying all kinds of feed. He has poor dentition (his teeth at the back are so worn down now) so he struggles with hay etc and can only really manage soft grass and mash feeds. He is currently on a course of antibiotics for sinusitis, for which if it doesn’t clear up the vet said he would have to have key flap surgery and the area flushed for 5 days. I dont feel it’s fair to put my horse through the surgery if it comes to it due to his age and the fact he’s not managing his weight well.

My vet has said if he doesn’t recover from the antibiotics maybe it’s time to consider PTS from a quality of life aspect before the winter comes in.

I’ve had him 14 years and adore him - it’s so hard because he’s still buzzing to eat his feed each day and is still being cheeky.

When do you know it’s time to say goodbye when he still seems happy in himself? I keep thinking what if he can put weight on again or stable him at night and what if it’s not his time yet, I just feel so worried about making a decision and then regretting it.
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I had Rufty put down a couple of weeks ago aged 32. He had arthritis and Cushings. He did not seem ill but was terribly thin despite having the best of care. I decided he could have his last summer as it was likely he would not see the winter out.
I feel now it was the right decision at the right time. No regrets but just fond memories. I had had him for nearly 16 years
 
I'm another in the better a week too soon than a day too late camp. I've had to make the decision several times over the last 50 years. It's never easy but it's better all round if you can choose the date rather than reacting in an emergency, ime
You have obviously given him a great life over the last 14 yrs and this is the last thing you can do for him. If the vet thinks it's time, I'm sure it must be, they are really very reluctant to mention the possibility.
I'm so sorry that you are in this position just now.
 
I was a BHS Friend at the End for a few years, I've also owned several horses. All the advice given above is so right. It's the hardest decision but tbh if your vet is suggesting it then it is time. Just because there is some type of treatment out there doesn't make it the right thing to do. If you want to speak to someone not involved in the process contact the BHS and they will assign you a FATE Friend.
 
Mine was happy, but not holding weight and bloods had no answers, there was a distinct probability of EODTH (I think that’s the initials!!) and a few other niggles- including a tendon injury. Either way, I wasn’t happy rugging him right up as he would have needed, causing sores around his bony bits and pushing him through a winter that I can’t guarantee will be anywhere near as ‘nice’ as the one that we had last year. We have a herd of 11, he was the smallest there and would have been caught up in arguing that inevitably happens at the gate once the grass went off- I didn’t want that for him.

The weather here has been so dry this year that the grass didn’t come through and he has his first summer in forever without severe restrictions and no muzzle- it still should have given him lami- it would have done any other year- and it didn’t, so I knew there was more going on as well. He went at the end of August, on a sunny day and though I’m still incredibly sad that he is not here- I don’t regret the choice.

I will say, I planned about a month ahead as I had to put leave in at work and the month was awful, knowing he was going- and the last few days was the worst. If I was to plan again, it would be at shorter notice, just to protect myself a bit more.

I questioned myself constantly and was upset around him when I put him out after his feed etc. I wouldn’t change it, but I would book it closer to the decision being made.
 
Concur with others, it’s time.

Please also consider yourself in this as you most likely have a consistent stream of stress underlying everyday as you worry about him. It takes a toll.

My heart horse with melanoma had a vet visit monthly to check on his health. Whilst he was a picture of health, one day the vet said “it’s now beginning to block his windpipe and whilst he has adapted, we need to do this today or tomorrow at the latest. It’s not too bad yet and he is still comfortable but very soon he won’t be”.

I did it 24hrs later and whilst devastating, the release from the daily stress was unbelievable.

Make sure you have support and counselling available. PTS is still part of caring for our beloved animals.

(Might have had a little cry writing this…………..my heart is hurting for you and remembering my stress at the time)
 
If you feel that you have done all you can, if your feeding regime is adequate and economically viable, if you are getting no response to antibiotic therapy and have ruled out Cushings, then with a very heavy heart, there aren't many options left. I have a 30yo who has been fed his winter rations since June, despite being on 24/7 turnout. He is healthy, but poor teeth prevent him from taking in the required amount of grass.
 
From your description of his weight and poor teeth I was thinking the end was here.

Chose a day, and spend some time doing what you both love. Feed him all his favourite treats and let him go happy, knowing he was loved.

It is 100% horrendous for us humans but it’s better than finding him down in the field one day or suffering .

Hugs and I hope you can find peace.
 
Have you ruled out cushings? If so, I don't think you have many options left. If not, it can knock years off them once they are diagnosed and medicated.

The thing is though, once they get to that age, you are always just putting off the inevitable. If you get him over this, you'll be facing the same decision with something else eventually. You will have to face it sometime, so it's up to you when. I think it's important that you are at peace with your decision, because you are the one left with living with it. Your horse definitely won't care either way. I find it's helpful to have a red line, where the decision is made for you. In this case, you've already got one, if the antibiotics don't work then that's the decision made.
 
Amymay Again said:
Without sugar coating it.

I'd put to sleep now from your description and comment made by your vet.

Never easy, and I'm sorry you're at this point.
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Same.

Sorry OP, chances are we will have another rubbish winter. If you're anything like me there wont be soft long grass available and hay is going to be the main source of food which if she struggles with will be hard.
 
meleeka said:
Have you ruled out cushings? If so, I don't think you have many options left. If not, it can knock years off them once they are diagnosed and medicated.

The thing is though, once they get to that age, you are always just putting off the inevitable. If you get him over this, you'll be facing the same decision with something else eventually. You will have to face it sometime, so it's up to you when. I think it's important that you are at peace with your decision, because you are the one left with living with it. Your horse definitely won't care either way. I find it's helpful to have a red line, where the decision is made for you. In this case, you've already got one, if the antibiotics don't work then that's the decision made.
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Thank you everyone for your advice and kind words it has definitely put my mind at ease.

We did run his bloods beginning of September and they came back clear with no seemingly obvious issues so I would have thought high levels of Cushings would have come up in that?
 
Elizabetholiver said:
Thank you everyone for your advice and kind words it has definitely put my mind at ease.

We did run his bloods beginning of September and they came back clear with no seemingly obvious issues so I would have thought high levels of Cushings would have come up in that?
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It doesn't show on a normal blood test. You need a specific test. If he were mine (and you can manage his eating issues, the cost of which is not for the feint hearted), I'd test for cushings just as the last thing to try. It's not very expensive and might make things clearer. Even if it's positive, it's absolutely your choice whether to treat or let him go. Treatment is around £10 per week, but can make a huge difference to QOL.
 
Its the hardest but most important decision we make for them.
I think if the thought has entered your head you need to give it attention and think about it carefully. From what you wrote I think it's the most sensible choice.
I never judge anyone for making this decision, only you as their owner really knows when the time is right and your own reasons for it.
Thinking of you as it's hard. I'm lucky that in each instance I was able to let my past horses go when they looked bright and healthy. Better a day too early than late.
 
Mine had Cushings, and was on medication, but weight wise he was melting away having always been a very good doer and I had been riding him until about 6 months before, quite cheerfully.

The final straw was coming down with laminitis and I thought "this is it." He was following the path of a previous horse with Cushings.

The vet came out the following morning (having been given Danilon overnight and in the morning) and after an examination said "I agree with you, it's time. You could do blood tests, etc. but the rapid weight loss points to something bad going on." She suspected he might have had an issue with his heart, but we arranged it for the following day and he went peacefully on a lovely September day.

As he walked across to us we could see how thin he had become and she said "your're doing the right thing here." She said he had been one of her first patients when she had joined the Practice and I think she had a little cry too afterwards.

I still miss him and this is making me cry, but there comes a time when there is nothing else to be done and it is the last kindness.
 
I let my first, 30+ ex-jumping/driving pony go on too long with increasing pain from arthritic knees/melanomas because I couldn't face a life without him😭, until the day we moved fields and he joined in the fun. Found him early next morning unable to move, meaning urgent call to local knackerman and a huge burden of guilt for what I had put him through. Never again, they will always go on a good day, the most recent only 4 years old. Thinking of you OP and know you will do much better than I did.
 
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