Lacking motivation to ride my older horse

[007Equestrian]

Hi all, I was wondering if anyone had any advice. I have an 20 year old horse who I was competing at Grand Prix dressage on. After a minor injury we are about to embark on ridden rehab, but the likelihood of her coming back to a competitive level at her age is slim.

I’m really struggling to find the enjoyment in riding anymore. Granted, walk and trot rehab isn’t exactly enthralling but even when that’s over I’m not sure that spark is ever coming back. Even if she returned to a lower level, the idea of bringing her out at prelim just doesn’t really interest me, and I don’t think it’s particularly fair on the other competitors either. I’ve done the online dressage game but it isn’t really exciting for me. I also don’t have the budget for two so can’t start over with a youngster. We also only have road hacking which is also a bit dull!

She of course will be kept in the best of care after all she’s done for me over the years, but I’m just really honestly never looking forward to riding these days. Especially because we don’t have any real goals to aim for anymore.

Does anyone have any advice? Please be kind, I’m already devastated that this time has come around. I’m also so grateful for all we’ve been able to achieve together. Just feeling a bit lost.

 

[Gloi]

Is she a safe ride that someone else would enjoy that could share and help with the costs.

 

[007Equestrian]

Is she a safe ride that someone else would enjoy that could share and help with the costs.

I wouldn’t want someone to do too much with her and expect her to do all her “tricks” is the big worry.

 

[94lunagem]

I don't ride anymore and there is nothing wrong with that, if you no longer get any enjoyment out of it. I have two non-ridden ponies, who I originally had to keep my older ridden ones company before they were also retired and ultimately PTS.

I do sometimes feel looked down on because I have them but don't ride, and it bothers me for a few minutes before I remind myself looking after them/my lifestyle (I have them at home) is what I enjoy and actually its no one else's business.

You say your mare will be well looked after regardless, and if she is sound and happy there are worse things than being retired, turned out and fussed over. But, if she is likely to rehab and still enjoys her work, there might be someone who would love the opportunity to come and ride at lower levels and learn from one who has been out there and done it. I wouldn't advocate a full loan, firstly because I personally wouldn't want someone else being responsible for the rehab you mention, and secondly if you are worried about her being pushed too far. If you had a share or just someone who rode, you would still be involved.

If you feel like you're getting the bug back and want a go at the tricks again, you could always investigate some schoolmaster lessons?

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

My friend was in a similar situation her GP mare just couldn't compete high level anymore due to a few issues, a livery on her yard recently lost her horse so she now loans my friends horse she hacks and does low level schooling it's a good arrangement.

I know it's not easy to find good sharers or loaners especially for a horse that has been ridden at that level night be worth a try.

If not just retire her horses don't care if they are ridden.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I wouldn’t want someone to do too much with her and expect her to do all her “tricks” is the big worry.

I totally get that it totally depends on her temperament could a more novice rider cope with her?

 

[rextherobber]

Could you aim for something like WE with her? Utilise her advanced level but at a less intense rate, it's super fun.

 

[Ceriann]

I rehabbed one meticulously- took tons of extra time with her etc and she was never able to train at the same level post injury. Not GP in fairness but she was training at adv medium when I bought her. I’ve completely stopped schooling her as she would just get upset and sharp only doing very basic work in the school (doing more and something would give as we tried to build her up and would set us back again) - she’s not hot but push button and only using a couple of those buttons wasn’t what she wanted. She hacks but I’ve let her have winter off as it’s been such terrible weather. If I had my time again I would have called it a day re the training sooner - she’s happy and will probably have a longer and happier retirement as a consequence.

I did more or less grieve for what we didn’t do and not riding her - she was so much better than me when I bought her and taught me so much. It felt like as soon as I was able to ride her and use her buttons, she broke. If you are not enjoying it don’t push it - you will only cause yourself and her more stress.

 

[Jenko109]

If you don't want to ride anymore, then don't.

Give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up. Just enjoy your horse from the ground.

 

[007Equestrian]

I wouldn't advocate a full loan, firstly because I personally wouldn't want someone else being responsible for the rehab you mention, and secondly if you are worried about her being pushed too far. If you had a share or just someone who rode, you would still be involved.

I totally get that it totally depends on her temperament could a more novice rider cope with her?

I could get a rider to come and ride her for sure, I’d have to pay them though which is the difficult part. And I just don’t know if I could trust someone to ride her while I’m not there and not want to do all the “fun stuff”. It wouldn’t be much fun for them to just do walk trot canter! Or maybe I’m out of touch

 

[007Equestrian]

I rehabbed one meticulously- took tons of extra time with her etc and she was never able to train at the same level post injury. Not GP in fairness but she was training at adv medium when I bought her. I’ve completely stopped schooling her as she would just get upset and sharp only doing very basic work in the school (doing more and something would give as we tried to build her up and would set us back again) - she’s not hot but push button and only using a couple of those buttons wasn’t what she wanted. She hacks but I’ve let her have winter off as it’s been such terrible weather. If I had my time again I would have called it a day re the training sooner - she’s happy and will probably have a longer and happier retirement as a consequence.

I did more or less grieve for what we didn’t do and not riding her - she was so much better than me when I bought her and taught me so much. It felt like as soon as I was able to ride her and use her buttons, she broke. If you are not enjoying it don’t push it - you will only cause yourself and her more stress.

I’m so sorry you went through that I can really relate to the “grief” feeling even though they’re still with us. My girl is definitely happier in her body when she’s in work, she stiffens up when she’s not, but it is sad to feel like I’ve “lost” all the work we did together in a way.

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

So don’t ride if you don’t feel like it…ride if/when your desire to comes back. Don’t be hard on yourself , it sounds as if you and your mare have had lots of ridden fun, just find the joy in pootling around her..she won’t care. It’s OK not to have specific goals and challenges and just live in the moment

 

[Pippity]

I could get a rider to come and ride her for sure, I’d have to pay them though which is the difficult part. And I just don’t know if I could trust someone to ride her while I’m not there and not want to do all the “fun stuff”. It wouldn’t be much fun for them to just do walk trot canter! Or maybe I’m out of touch

I think you'd be surprised. If she's a schoolmistress at the lower levels, I suspect you'd find people biting your hand off to ride her. My first share horse had been competing at adv med before a field injury ended her career. She was an absolute dream as a first horse out of riding school, and I only gave up the share because of cost.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I could get a rider to come and ride her for sure, I’d have to pay them though which is the difficult part. And I just don’t know if I could trust someone to ride her while I’m not there and not want to do all the “fun stuff”. It wouldn’t be much fun for them to just do walk trot canter! Or maybe I’m out of touch

On the contrary, I think a horse with that experience for someone at the low levels would be much appreciated without attempting anything fancy!

I love the W.E. suggestion; something a bit different but using the skills you both already have.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I could get a rider to come and ride her for sure, I’d have to pay them though which is the difficult part. And I just don’t know if I could trust someone to ride her while I’m not there and not want to do all the “fun stuff”. It wouldn’t be much fun for them to just do walk trot canter! Or maybe I’m out of touch

You wouldn't have to pay a loaner or sharer and most people looking don't ride at that level not in my experience anyway.

When I was looking for a rider most people could just about walk trot and canter

I would try and find someone within your circle of friends and people you know that way there is more trust.

 

[McGrools]

I’m the same in that if I don’t have a goal or reason to ride for progress then I lose all motivation. I take no pleasure from pottering about at all.
My 17 year old mare has just been diagnosed with a significant heart murmur and advice is to stop riding her as she could keel over at anytime. She could potter but I have no desire to do that. So she will be retired.
I wouldn’t want to ride in your situation either xx

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

My same friend I mentioned earlier also has a schoolmaster she teaches on as he doesn't compete anymore, he can do all the tricks but when I ride him I just love to sit on a lovely well schooled horse and I feel like I can actually ride

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Where are you in the country I would be happy to just walk trot and canter her around

 

[sbloom]

Do you like her? Do you enjoy spending time with her? If not would you like that to be better? There are so many non-ridden activities that she or you both may enjoy, and if you crack on to include some serious postural stuff then you might just find at some point she's more rideable. Not saying you have to, but it's an option, and it should be to her benefit if you select the work carefully (eg someone like Encompass Equine Solutions, there are several in person and online programmes I direct people to, the first is a freebie, 7 secrets of self carriage group on FB). See it as learning and connection work, and not rehab. The rehab mentality is tough, but here there are options for things that feel more positive. Even at 20 years old, and even for a former GP dressage horse, many injuries will be the result of compromised movement so it's worth delving into this.

 

[007Equestrian]

I’m the same in that if I don’t have a goal or reason to ride for progress then I lose all motivation. I take no pleasure from pottering about at all.
My 17 year old mare has just been diagnosed with a significant heart murmur and advice is to stop riding her as she could keel over at anytime. She could potter but I have no desire to do that. So she will be retired.
I wouldn’t want to ride in your situation either xx

I’m so sorry that happened to your girl and thank you for your kind words. I was worried I was being unreasonable so it really helps to hear that.

 

[maya2008]

Do something completely different maybe. New goals, new fun. How about showing? She could do veteran classes, maybe aim for championships etc.

 

[Squeak]

Is moving to a yard with good hacking an option? That could help to make it more enjoyable and also looking in to some other sports that you wouldn't normally do such as WE and showing. I used to only event but have now started doing a wider range of things and really enjoy them. I also box out to places to hack and explore and do fun rides which I really enjoy.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I can understand where you are coming from and are obviously feeling a bit low right now.

You say there is only road-hacking from your current yard; I'm going to be radical and suggest that you consider moving to a yard where there is hacking.......... or perhaps if that isn't an option you'd wish to consider, you might be able to hire transport occasionally and box out to some hacking? Perhaps a few pleasure rides during the summer (IF and I say "if" it ever dries up out there). Or there is Working Equitation which both of you would enjoy for sure and might give you both a new lease of life.

Perhaps a move to another (hopefully cheaper) yard might also mean that you might be able to take on a youngster?

It isn't easy with an oldie is it, but bless you for caring.

 

[007Equestrian]

Is moving to a yard with good hacking an option? That could help to make it more enjoyable and also looking in to some other sports that you wouldn't normally do such as WE and showing. I used to only event but have now started doing a wider range of things and really enjoy them. I also box out to places to hack and explore and do fun rides which I really enjoy.

I think I’d consider it but sadly I’m just in a part of the country where off-road hacking doesn’t exist, all the land is owned by farmers who really don’t appreciate us going for a hooley on it! I think Working Equitation would be similarly demanding to an advanced medium test wouldn’t it? Which might be a bit much for her.

It isn't easy with an oldie is it, but bless you for caring.

Thank you so much for your kind words, it really means a lot. I love her to pieces and just want the best for her, even if it means sucking it up and learning to find some joy in walking around roads in the rain

 

[Ceriann]

I’m so sorry that happened to your girl and thank you for your kind words. I was worried I was being unreasonable so it really helps to hear that.

It’s not how I planned it and she really does light up in the school - ears forward, listening for cues - I was spoilt. She’s a solid hack but doesn’t enjoy it in the same way. I have done in hand work with her, which she does enjoy and stops her getting stiff. Bit of lunging (whole school use, not circles), light pole work, some lateral work. Would something like that be of interest? You can do a lot with a horse with good in hand exercises. I might try and teach her some tricks too.

 

[Ahrena]

I had similar - when my older boy retired from competition, I struggled to keep motivated when I also had a young up and coming horse as well as riding for work.

I found a sharer for him, she’s ended up with him on full loan and 7/8 years on is still enjoying hacking him out a few times a week.

His issue was arthritis so I made it clear he wasn’t to do frequent jumping or anything over 80cm but she’s had a ball with him over the years. He’s a real schoolmaster (albeit makes you work for it) and it’s worked out perfectly for us. He’s 26 now and I think staying in work has kept him young.

 

[saddlesore]

I can understand where you are coming from and are obviously feeling a bit low right now.

You say there is only road-hacking from your current yard; I'm going to be radical and suggest that you consider moving to a yard where there is hacking.......... or perhaps if that isn't an option you'd wish to consider, you might be able to hire transport occasionally and box out to some hacking? Perhaps a few pleasure rides during the summer (IF and I say "if" it ever dries up out there). Or there is Working Equitation which both of you would enjoy for sure and might give you both a new lease of life.

Perhaps a move to another (hopefully cheaper) yard might also mean that you might be able to take on a youngster?

It isn't easy with an oldie is it, but bless you for caring.

That’s exactly what I was going to suggest. There’s lots of enjoyment in non competitive riding, just look for nice places to ride out and enjoy hanging out together

 

[Cadbury]

Hi all, I was wondering if anyone had any advice. I have an 20 year old horse who I was competing at Grand Prix dressage on. After a minor injury we are about to embark on ridden rehab, but the likelihood of her coming back to a competitive level at her age is slim.

I’m really struggling to find the enjoyment in riding anymore. Granted, walk and trot rehab isn’t exactly enthralling but even when that’s over I’m not sure that spark is ever coming back. Even if she returned to a lower level, the idea of bringing her out at prelim just doesn’t really interest me, and I don’t think it’s particularly fair on the other competitors either. I’ve done the online dressage game but it isn’t really exciting for me. I also don’t have the budget for two so can’t start over with a youngster. We also only have road hacking which is also a bit dull!

She of course will be kept in the best of care after all she’s done for me over the years, but I’m just really honestly never looking forward to riding these days. Especially because we don’t have any real goals to aim for anymore.

Does anyone have any advice? Please be kind, I’m already devastated that this time has come around. I’m also so grateful for all we’ve been able to achieve together. Just feeling a bit lost.

If you don’t feel like riding then maybe stop completely for a while and give yourself a break - after a while you might find that you want to get on again!
If you enjoy hacking is there any chance you could move yards to somewhere with good hacking?

 

[SO1]

Veteran showing might be fun but less intensive if she can canter in the go round with others and ok to be able to a fiqure of 8. You could even aim high to qualify for for the championships.

 

[teapot]

I'd echo the comments about you'd absolutely find someone willing to ride her at the lower levels - sounds ideal! You'd need to hunt them out, but a carefully worded wanted advert would absolutely get you the rider the horse would need.

Other option would be to loan to one of the better training centres - Talland or Wellington, as they'd have both the clients and capacity to manage her needs well

My same friend I mentioned earlier also has a schoolmaster she teaches on as he doesn't compete anymore, he can do all the tricks but when I ride him I just love to sit on a lovely well schooled horse and I feel like I can actually ride

Hope they're licensed and insured if people are paying for lessons. Stuff like that makes me twitch