Ladies - your thoughts please What To Do [long]

S

SouthWestWhippet

Well-Known Member
Joined
7 June 2006
Messages
2,343
Location
Somerset
Visit site
I have a really super 12yr old 14hh pony. He is a pleasure to ride, sensitive, responsive and eager to please. He hacks, jumps, does a bit of flat, hunts everything. I use him at the riding school where I work to get the young riders jumping bigger fences as he is 100% honest to a fence, keen and scopey. Will carry a novice over 3', finding his own stride. All they need to do is sit still and point!

He is cheap to keep, never sick or sorry and a real joy to handle. My 2 year old leads him around, he can be clipped loose, the farrier loves him, he picks his feet up to verbal command. He is also extremely pretty and gets compliments wherever he goes!

His only 'fault' is that he is extemely sensitive and gets very anxious if riders are tense or unbalanced. He will get very rushy and start to hollow and run. For that reason I do not allow nervous or very novice riders on his back, nor do many adults ride him as they tend to try to 'do' to much and this upsets him. That said, my 2 year old rides him (on LR) and he carries her as if she were made of glass!

So what is the problem you might ask? Well to be brutally honest, I am bored of riding him. He doesn't challenge me and I feel as if we both want totally different things out of life and it isn't working for either of us. I want a pure dressage horse really. He wants to be a pony club pony for a gentle, but compitent teenager. With the right rider he will clear 4', he never runs out or refuses and he LOVES to jump. I, however, am 32 with a baby at home and finding more and more that I don't really enjoy the jumping side of things. Dressage on the other hand, which I love, makes him anxious, he finds it hard and we both end up feeling frustrated. I feel as if I've gone as far as I can with him on the flat really, he is a hafflinger, not a Lippizaner and I'm starting to ask more of him that is really fair.

The thing is, I am loathe to part with him because I absolutely ADORE him. But more and more I am finding I love him for how he goes for other people - when I see him carry a 10 year old over a 3' fence, and I see on her face how she can't believe she did it and I know he did that for her - I love him with all my heart. When I think about riding him myself, I think 'meh, I'll just cuddle/groom/fuss him for an hour instead'. I want to keep him for my daughter but then I think by the time she is ready for him, he'll be pushing 20... is that fair to hang onto him for the next 8 years doing very little when anything could happen in that time?

I could put him out on loan (have about 5 homes that have offered to take him if I want to loan him) but then I would not really have the capital to replace him with another horse for myself. And if I did got another horse, could I guarantee it would be as easy to keep as him - I am a single parent so I struggle for time, I know I *could* make more time for riding, I just dont' ATM because I'm not inspired, but with him, at least I know if I can't ride for a week, he'll be fine.

So many questions are going round in my head. I really feel in a bit of a rut with my riding what with having a little one at home, being on my own, lacking time and money. I'm a freelance instructor and I feel my teaching is starting to suffer because my riding is lacking inspiration. I would love a youngster, something that I could school to medium plus, but it is a scarey step and would break my heart to part with pony.

PLEASE come and talk some sense into me and help me straighten out my thoughts and think about what to do. Glass of vodka if you get this far!!
 
It is heartbreaking to sell them, but you do get over it. I would sell if I were you. Find a good pony club family, with more little siblings coming up behind the intended rider - so that there is a good chance of them staying in the family.. Its so nice to hear of them doing well and even going to see them at a show when you sell. Also at 12, now is the time to sell really. Just do your best for the pony and find them a super home. You would have no trouble selling such a cracker.
 
Sell him or loan him if you prefer , he will be someone's dream horse I sold a homebred the perfect first horse who bored me witless until a friend a dealer rang me out of the blue and asked if I would sell as she had the perfect person for her I approached it very cautiously I did not breed mine to sell them but she was so good for the lady when she tried her she was went from almost crying with nerves to grinning from ear to ear I sold her she went on to do all sorts in her new home and last I heard was having babys to TB event stallions they adore her it was definatly the right desision to sell.
You have a lovely well mannered no issues horse who will find and excellent home because he will be in demand and you will able to 'chose ' to a great extent where he goes.
Time is short to follow your equine dreams go for them with a horse that will enjoy that job.
 
He sounds like the wrong horse for you now, but exactly the right horse for a lot of people searching for him! I'd sell him IIWY, you could be choosy who he went to and ask them to stay in touch and to let you know if they're putting him up for sale again in the future. Buy yourself the right horse. :cool:
 
Thanks for the vodka! I would loan him out (to me obviously!) and either loan, share, take a punt on a cheap project or rescue from one of the hundreds of over flowing rescue centres....I think you have lots of choices! Don't think I could sell him, but I'm rubbish at selling horses :)
 
Thank you everyone, just reading the replies and thinking about how they make me feel is really helping me to get my thoughts together.

Not wanting to drip feed but I did omit one other, small, fault that he has. He can, on occasion be a bugger to catch. But 90% of the time he is fine.

I do feel he could go off and be someone's dream pony. I just hate the thought of losing touch with him. If anything ever went wrong (he is a sensitive boy and I could imagine if he ended up with nervous, wobbly child who hung onto him, he could get quite a handful) I would want him back with me in a heartbeat. Loaning is what my heart says. But my head says 'sell and use the money to buy your dream horse'.

God it is hard.
 
Agree with amymay. Plus, on a practical note, there's a world of difference between doing daily yard jobs with a 2yr old & a safe predictable horse, & a new, more highly strung one. I kept my 14.2 schoolmistress over my comp horse purely because I adore her. But with hindsight, her predictable calm nature made my life a lot easier. And made ride & lead possible from a very early age. Plus although daughter always had small ponies, my 14.2 has done a world of good for her experience & confidence, both ridden & on the ground. Given your situation, it sounds like you need one with your horses temperament & behavior but more talent, which is going to cost more than yours sells for anyway. Plus don't discount how soon your child will need it. When mine outgrows her 11.1 (at 9 I think) she'll go straight on to 14.2 for a few years, who will then be 25. Because the price of the equivalent 13.2 would be out of budget, & I'd rather compromise on size than something else. If you think child will like riding, I definitely wouldn't sell.
 
Thank you littlelegs - you have EXACTLY understood one of the cruxs of the problem which I wasn't able to elecute properly in my post. The fact that he is really really easy to look after and only *needs* a mimimul amount of time, is a godsend with having a little one.

In fact, the idea of loaning something more 'exciting' but still having my pony around for the future might just be the solution I had missed. ATM my 2 yr old either rides him on LR or I borrow one of the yard RS ponies for her, but when it gets to the point where I want to ride and lead, a youngster just isn't going to be what I want.
 
I found just the little things made daily life easy. Eg stick child on board to turn out / bring in, have toddler 'helping' while I groomed. Sat on bankings while I did rugs. Or being able to tie up for vet/farrier & either leave them to it, or hold toddler on hip to watch. Mine had ultrasounds & shockwave therapy, with toddler daughter in stable too. And vets happily did cartrophen courses without me having to even turn up or leave a headcollar. None of which would have even been a passing thought for any other horse.
 
SouthWestWhippet said:
Not wanting to drip feed but I did omit one other, small, fault that he has. He can, on occasion be a bugger to catch. But 90% of the time he is fine.
Annoying as that can be, its not something that would put me off, I have had two horses that were little burgers to catch... I remember that aspect of them with absolute fondness, it showed their character... I would absolutely not be put off by this, and I am sure that there are many out there who would feel the same... there is always a specific trick to catching said horse, and I am sure you would explain this to any future owner/loaner

I do feel he could go off and be someone's dream pony. I just hate the thought of losing touch with him. If anything ever went wrong (he is a sensitive boy and I could imagine if he ended up with nervous, wobbly child who hung onto him, he could get quite a handful) I would want him back with me in a heartbeat. Loaning is what my heart says. But my head says 'sell and use the money to buy your dream horse'.

God it is hard.
Click to expand...

I completely understand this^^^ why not loan with the option of purchase if all parties were happy in 12 months time, If you were to loan you could retain ownership and save up for another one, you could also retain the control and extend the loan period if you didn't feel up to selling. I think that whatever you do decide to do, you should loan in the first instance to give you a real feel for his future with whoever has him... it will give you greater peace of mind.
 
Just another idea, how about getting yourself a project to bring on & sell, so you can have a challenge riding wise? If yours was out on loan, you could get a quiet, well mannered but green pony cheaply, bring it on under saddle, then sell. And continue to do so till you need yours back off loan for ride & lead.
 
Thank you so much everyone for all your thoughts.

I think loaning him and getting a project youngster might well be the best option, especially if I get another pony because I have loved schooling my pony up to be so good for the children, would be rewarding to do it again. Feel quite excited at the thought TBH.

Then maybe think about the dressage horse option in a few years when my daughter is a bit older. As others have said, I can ride the RS horses whenever I want and luckily some of them are really rather smart and benefit from a bit of dressage schooling now and again.
 
I would loan out and use the money to loan something yourself that is easy on the ground, but challenging to ride. My dutch warmblood is an complete angel on the ground, around kids, other animals etc... However he is not an easy ride by any stretch of the imagination and I know quite a few warmbloods who are similar. I have a very easy life looking after him, but don't get bored riding. It is an ideal combination for me, particularly as I have to help my OH with our ISH youngster who is boringly easy to ride, but a total nightmare on the ground (my OH won't handle him so I get two to do).

The other point I would make is that providing the loan homes are good and do not end up ruining him then at 20yrs old there should be no problems with suitability for your daughter. We have many excellent jumping ponies who carry on into their late 20s early 30s, so age is not necessarily an issue. If he got on extremely well in a loan home you could always offer him for sale to them if you were totally happy.
 
Once again, thank you for all your thoughts and opinions.

When I read posts saying 'sell' I felt gutted, posts saying 'loan, he will still be useful at 20' made me happy.

guess that tells me what I need to know! and the idea of getting another project seems quite exciting, although this pony was *supposed* to be a project to sell on and look how well that turned out ;)
 
amymay said:
Why don't you loan him out - and in return loan a horse for yourself?
Click to expand...

This but with potential purchase (not even need to mention at this point) if the right person has him?

Just budget for if he comes back without much warning and you have to keep him while looking for the next loan home.

I'd definitely not hang on to him now though if someone else could be having fun on him and you want more :)
 
I would not sell him. Once he is sold you have lost all control. If you care about him as much as you say you do, then find another way. Loan him out- if hes as great as you say he is then this will be easy! People will be lining up around the block for him! You can buy a cheapy youngster or whatever- buyers market!

People say you will get over selling him but believe me its not always the case. I sold a youngster for the modest sum of £500. I had nightmares about where he would end up or how he may be treated. After a year I contacted the new owner and I brought him back.....for £2400. He wasnt worth that much but to me money was no object. I wanted him back- she could have asked £4000 and id have paid it. I couldnt cope not having complete control over his well-being. £2400 is a small price to pay for the ability to ensure hes always happy and loved.
 
As a mother with a horsey child, I am going to go against the grain here and say keep the pony.

I am hugely relieved that I decided to keep 'easy/take me anywhere/won't kill you if I haven't been ridden for 3 weeks' cob over buying a decent comp horse - because with my 9yr old son now riding, mine has had to take a back seat.

I can go hunting, nanny him on fun rides and take both to little comps together, and know my cob will always behave and needs minimal attention, which means when my son is in the saddle all I have to concentrate on is him.

There are still days when I browse the horse ad's and dream, but when my son has grown up or given up horses, I will then go and get my comp horse. Atm I would rather have an easy life!

You could end up in the situation that you have sold the 'easy' pony, bought yourself a project or competition horse, but don't have the time to put the work into it, so could end up equally frustrated!!

Good luck with whatever you decide, and imagine the pony will be very easy to find a home for x
 
I thought along the same lines as vieshot...you obviously love your pony and if you sold him, would you be wondering "where is he now?" some years down the line.
 
I'd loan him out and with the money saved on livery for couple months I'd buy something capable but green - ex racers make great dressage horses in my experience and you can pick them up for loose change
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top