Laziness vs love (for those who live miles from their horse)

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melv1lle

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Joined
3 March 2006
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289
Location
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Just wanted to check if it is just me??? I live and work in central London but keep my horse out in Berkshire. It takes me an hour and 20 minutes to get out to him in the evenings and even though I love him very much I do find with these cold dark evenings that I find all sorts of excuses not to go out there after work. He is on full livery so he is not starving or stuck in a field or anything but I still feel like a terrible mother that I am so lazy and only make it out once or twice during the week. I feel like an even bigger monster at the moment as I clipped him at the weekend and now he is looking even more handsome (I am a bit biased
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I don't drive, takes me just over 1 hour to get to the yard, am on diy but i am a housewife/ martial arts instructor so i only really work nights/weekends when i am teaching
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If it suits you then don't sweat it
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He is lovely
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have you thought about a sharer or half loaner ?? if someone was riding him in the week then he is still getting exercised and you wont feel guilty. its hard to be motivated after a hard day especially in winter and especially with such a long drive i dont know how you do it!!
 
He is on full livery so he gets ridden every day (otherwise his brain explodes
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) but just feel guilty when I wake up in the morning feeling all positive about going riding and then by this time in the afternoon when I am stuck in the office i start to think of excuses why I don't need to drive out there
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oh well then he is fine!! if i were you i dont think id ever make it up in the week i dread to think what time you'd get home of an evening!!

riding is a hobby not a chore dont beat yourself up about it, its winter after all. only a few months to go and it will be all sunny and you'll be more up for it!!
 
LOL mine's 20 miles away, takes between 40 mins and an hour and a half at rush hour and I feel your pain!

The only thing which motivates me is I can't afford Full livery, so he's on part - they do everything I just ride. If he were on full I'd be the same.....
 
Mine are 15 miles away but this can take me from 25 minutes to over an hour if the traffic is bad coming out of London. Once took me nearly two hours! I didn't get back home until 12.30 that night.

At the moment with the run up to Christmas they are on full livery Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Normally I do Mondays.

I need two days off a week or my life is just work and horses.

On day I go up they are fed with a haynet and their ball so if I don't get up until 8.30 - 9 they are not hungry but I normally am at the yard by 7.30. Does make for a long day.

Nothing wrong with what you are doing - sometime work and horses especially with a long journey is just too much.
 
What a handsome horse! And how good is he to stand patiently like that with no-one holding him?!!

I don't think you should feel bad at all. Your horse is happy and well and cared-for and exercised - sounds like he has a very nice life, and you work hard to provide all this for him.

You are not lazy - you are doing your best for your horse and he is perfectly happy; there is no reason why you should force yourself to do a long drive and try to ride in the cold and dark when you don't feel like it. Having a horse is supposed to be FUN, not a chore or a burden.

It won't improve his life in any way for you to drag yourself down there after a long day's work - in fact, he might well prefer not to do his exercise in the dark when all his mates are happily tucked up with their evening haynets!

So stop beating yourself up and just enjoy spending time with your horse when you have the energy to enjoy it!
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Is there any reason you can't keep him closer? IMO horses are expensive to keep and a lot of work so I don't really see the point of paying all that money (or doing all the hard work) and then not getting the pleasure of riding. If I found myself making excuses to not go and ride then I would sell up. Now I must stress that's ME I'm not saying there is anything wrong with what you are doing or that you should feel guilty as your horse won't care at all as long as he is fed and warm but that I would not be able to justify spending the money & time without riding.
 
I only get to see mine at the weekend because i live and work in London - then go to stay at my parents place at the weekend (even thought I am 31
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) and go to ride my horse...

You shouldn't feel bad - your horse is fine and being looked after. As I know mine is... I would dearly love to spend more time with mine - but i can't - so to be able to have a horse I am prepared to live with this less that perfect situation. But I would be so miserable if i couldn't have a horse at all...

I plan to move out of London soon (would have been new year - but house is subsiding... so have to wait a bit) then I will have my horse near me.

but don't feel bad about it - and don't let other people make you feel bad
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(Just to add - in case anyone wonders - there are very good reasons why i can't move my horse nearer to me at the mo - the main one being that the bit of London I live in is NOT handy for any stables.... so would be long drives every night to see horslet)
 
Like I have said in all these type of thread recently, as long as your horse islooked after, what difference does it make if you can't get there? Don't make yourself feel guilty, you have no need to be.
 
I'm in exactly the same boat - I work in Central London too and try to get out during the week. I can do it door-to-door in 1 hour, but combine that with cycling to and from various train stations, no indoor school and nasty weather, I sometimes find myself lacking in the enthusiasm department! I do usually make it up twice a week but there are times when I just can't (or can't face it
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). I know exactly what you mean about that mid-afternoon sinking feeling, I've been getting it a lot! It'll soon be spring... hopefully
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I live 5 mins away in my 4x4, but from leaving my house parking at the yard cycleing up to the field cycleing back to the yard with horse unrugging grooming tacking up puttting on my stuff it takes about an hour, if after a hard days work and knackered it's dark and raining I dont always ride, if I want to ride I ride light or dark wet or dry, it just comes down to how tired I am after work, I go to him twice a day every day to feed and check him at the field regardless, so have contact ride or no ride.
I dont think anyone should feel gulity, if you pay for full livery as that is the only way you can manage and the horse is looked after I dont see a problem.
 
Im not quite so far from my horse - but i still have a 15/20 minute journey to him every day and in these months I often dont ride - I dont worry about it either - most often than not horses dont mind anyway!
 
good on you travelling that far - there's no way on earth I could do that! once I'm home (takes about an hour) I'm 10 mins away from the yard......maybe look at a sharer though.....
 
Work often makes me too tired to visit my horses, and they are only 20metres away!
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I am soo lucky that they are on our own fantastic yard, on full livery.
If I'm not in the mood for riding my horses with the effort they deserve, then I don't feel guilty about leaving them cosy and happy in their boxes!
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I've got 2 horses on DIY livery a half hour's drive each way. BUT they are there because the yard is so perfect for the horses and for me so I don't begrudge the drive at all. What it does mean is that I can't justify driving there and back twice a day so winter is a bit of a planning challenge! And I know I'm probably a real saddo but I LUURVE quietly mucking out and setting nice neat beds/haynets/feeds when there's hardly anyone around ... a real stress buster! Also, we have really good facilities and it's good to retire to the livery caravan for a cuppa, cream cake and a natter now and then!
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My mare is an 80 mile round trip which can take a good hour to get up the yard and about 50 minutes to get back home. She is on full livery so she is fine but I do find it difficult not to feel guilty at times. I am only going up twice in the week now the dark nights are upon us. She gets ridden Tuesday and Friday and does her RDA Thursday, then I hack her Saturday and Sunday - so when written down it doesnt sound too bad. Oh and she gets turned out at least three times a week.

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Hello - how nice to be missed! I haven't been on the forum for a while because my instructor kept laughing at me for spending so much time on it when I am supposed to be at work
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Sam is doing very well thanks despite my laziness - blog has been recently updated if you are interested. And I am very pleased to hear that you think he has muscled up. I put another post up in Competition Riders asking people that exact same question!
 
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