Learning to tow a trailer !

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In 10 easy steps !

Step 1. Persuade husband to swap newish , economical , very low mileage shiny car for 10 year old towing vehicle ... Exhausting business with many U turns

Step 2 Life savings invested in new trailer. New trailer delivered . Guy who delivered trailer (Terry) is a simple bloke has another job after us and is hoping to get home early and enjoy the rest of the weekend . Unluckily for him husband has come over to check out that which he has made the ultimate sacrifice for ... and the salesman had promised an extensive demonstration of the features and benefits ...
 
Step 3

The demo did not go well ...

After showing us how the ramp converted to Barn Doors (limited usefulness but quite exciting in theory ) Terry spent 20 minutes struggling to get the stiff new metal pins back in and I vowed to NEVER use the Barn Doors henceforth.

He then showed us the breast and breech bars very skimpily and proceeded to the hitchlock after which it became obvious that Terry had never demonstrated this in his life. He just could not put the thing on and it fell apart at the slightest touch!

I began to regret buying the hitchlock that wouldn't lock that cost £65 ...

I turned my attention to the breast bar clips which were very fiddly and one instantly became wedged in position

I called Terry away from the hitchlock that wouldn't lock

"You've pushed it right in !! " he exclaimed " I told you not to push it right in , they aren't designed to be pushed right in and now it's STUCK !"

The thin veneer of customer service was now stripped away. Terry had given up his Saturday at short notice and was never going to get back in time for his next delivery which was at the other end of the country ..

' We need a hammer now " he bleated " Haven't you even got a hammer ?"

A wooden mallet was scavenged from the livery yard feed room.

Terry commenced whacking the pins with a vengeance

My husband , a recently retired aircraft engineer cringed as the wooden mallet mashed into the aluminium strips at the side of the very expensive brand new trailer

Terry was sweating but the pins remained wedged fast

Eventually the husband who had plenty of hammers at home ... dismantled the clips to avoid any further damage to the structure of the trailer

Terry was allowed to leave ...in a cloud of disgruntled dust

Husband bent all the breast bar clips straight and we pushed them right in !!!

He then carefully assessed the hitchlock and discovered how to turn the very simple mechanism into the lock position and we went home for tea.
 
Step 4

Husband and I decide to hitch up the trailer and go for a drive .....

Hitching up seems a lot more difficult than it looks ....

I appear to be as weak as a kitten and unable to decipher if the jockey wheel is winding up or down . Husband finds my ineptitude very irritating


I slowly pull out int the yard which is festooned with clutter in every direction including a side loading 3.5 ton horsebox, two muck trailers and a car with the door open partially blocking our exit past the hay barn

" That's Emma's car " I said ... "We could do with that moving "

"Please can you ask her to move it ?"

"No , No ! " he says " I'm not asking her , why don't you ask her ? There's loads of room there , loads of room !"

So I proceeded slowly and cautiously towards the tiny gap between barn and hedge

"Are you sure there's enough room? I asked , massively anxiously

" YES, YES, Loads of room , keep going, keep going , keep going , No STOP !"

The trailer was now 2 centimetres from the Breeze Blocks

I couldn't move forwards or backwards

We had travelled only 10 yards and had already failed ...

" I TOLD you there wasn't enough room !!! "

"And I told you we should have moved Emma's car !!

"It's all your fault !!!"

"And now we are stuck !!"

The girls from the yard came to assist us

Unluckily neither of them had any towing experience ...

Husband was very angry about this !

However they did have common sense and were strong enough to help us unhitch and heft the trailer over to a safe position so that we could proceed on our very precarious journey !!

After 25 sweat soaked minutes of driving around the town with an empty trailer we returned slowly to the scene of our former humiliation

All attempts to manoeuvre this long unwieldy vehicle anywhere near our allotted parking space met with failure

I went forwards and backwards and forwards and backwards but realised I had no idea how to actually turn the trailer while doing so !

"Why are you just going forwards and backwards? !" demanded the husband

"Let the clutch out !!!!!"

You're ruining the car !!!

I sweated some more ... And realised my very expensive two towing lessons had ill prepared me for this

"Let me try ! "

"Am sure I can do it ! "

said the husband

"No ! No ! You can't possibly do it , you haven't been on the towing course !"

" Another 10 minutes of reversing back and forth in a cloud of diesel smoke and I was ready to admit defeat

I relinquished the driver seat reluctantly .

After a few minutes of experimentation he was able to reverse into the allotted space

I WAS A FAILURE
 
Tears are running down my face and I have a stitch from laughing. God bless you both! This will be me and my man soon so thank you for the warning. I have been thinking it may end up in divorce.
 
What a fab report! :D I can't wait for your first proper outing! Emma will move her car without you having to ask lol

In all seriousness, it's not easy, but the more you practice the easier it will be.
 
This is so me! My husband only tows when we need the trailer for furniture etc and can reverse it easily really annoying. As I go back and forth to get into my parking spot at the yard about 100 times so frustrating. Wish I had a lorry ��
 
More trailer towing step 5

I attempt to drive down the lane , reverse backwards in a wibbly wobbly straight line and slowly drive back up the yard to the Parking Area which was now looming like an ominous and impossible challenge....

With grim determination I commenced manouvers

It was impossible

I didn't know what I was doing

After an hour or so the yard (and the car ) began to look a bit muddy .... And the car seemed to be suffering from my incessant riding of the clutch ! I was glad the husband wasn't there to see it . I phoned my very supportive and capable friend. She appeared within 15 minutes and deftly reversed the trailer into the parking spot within seconds ...

Sigh .... Was I TOO OLD for this ?!!

The following day the yard manager reversed it on for me .. I was becoming a complete nuisance !

Step 6

Time to try and put the horse in the trailer !!

I slept little the night before ... It was bad enough that I had bought a trailer I couldn't park but if the horse wouldn't go in it I was going to look like a complete idiot !!!

Helpful Monty Roberts trained friend came to assist me with this

Equipped with a lunge line and a Dually halter we commenced to try and load my horse

There was some very showy and unneccessary full height rearing at the bottom of the ramp

Horse looked rather fabulous but I was glad that my helpful friend at the end of the lunge line was wearing a riding hat !

She was not intimidated

Horse went in and inspected my purchase snorting and trembling

She had some feed from a bucket

She came out

She went in

And out again

And in again

And some more feed

And then I took her in and out a few times

Helpful friend reminded me to nip off the edge of the exit ramp and get out of the way so I wouldn't get squashed if she rushed off . And to relax the lunge line so there was no tension and she could pick her way down

All good after a dramatic start !

We just needed more practise ....
 
Step 7 more hilarity

Enlisted the sister to practise hitching, towing down the lane , parking the trailer and loading the horse

Sister was in a bad mood from the outset

I stated by trying to figure out my partitions because as I moved the back partition over to one side the front one was swinging in the opposite direction. I started tying one back with string to see what worked

Sister began to grumble

"What's this bit of string ?" she said accusingly

"This needs cutting off "

"Have you got any scissors ?"

I wasn't interested in the string or the scissors

I was trying to figure out how I could close the breast and breech bars without the horse noticing. I was looking for good ideas and moral support .

"Can't we just get on with it !" said the sister

" Hurry Up !! "

I began to feel a bit stressed ... I had a haynet that I thought would distract the horse ... but nowhere to hang it that I could see.

I asked the sister what she thought ..

" Didn't you ask the salesman where to hang the haynet ?" she said accusingly

The salesman had told me that there was nowhere to hang a haynet
because " they don't travel the horses with hay abroad "

There was a small metal ring on the inside of the trailer at the front .... Terry had said that this was the tie up ring. As this would have entailed the use of 10 foot of rope I suspected he had made this up on the spur of the moment .

It was ideal for hanging a haynet but only if your horse had the neck of a giraffe ...

I pondered over the logistics

"Fancy buying a trailer and not asking where the tie up ring is !" said my sister ..

"Have you not got any scissors ?"

I fished out my newly purchase trailer ties

"I wonder how these work?" I pondered

"Fancy buying trailer ties and not finding out how they work!" said the sister

The horse was produced from the stable

She looked very suspicious ...

After one or two attempts to load her with both partitions open I attempted to progress to the next stage ....

This was tricky and I asked the sister if she could swing one of the partitions over for me once the horse was in .

For some reason she found this very annoying and difficult ... Mostly due to the dangling string .. " Have you got any scissors ? " she asked again

We got the back bar shut

The horse began to pick up the sisterly stress

She was very keen to get off

" Bring the haynet !" I commanded

The sister didn't like my attitude ..

She stood at the front of trailer blocking the exit ....

" Well where shall I put it ?! " she asked

I didn't know ... But the horse looked very cross when she couldn't reach it !

We unloaded her again

Sister didn't understand why I didn't just lead her in and close it up !

"What was the point of all this faffing about ?!"

So we tried that .

In the absence of any hay to eat and the presence of two squabbling stressed out sisters shouting instructions and asking for scissors the horse picked up on the tension and began to panic . We hurriedly undid all the barriers and she ran down the ramp at speed ..

Then refused to go in at all

I blamed the sister entirely

We opened up all the partitions and she agreed to go back in so we decided to leave it there and so put the horse to bed and commenced attempts to park the trailer

This didn't go well

Sister commenced screeching instructions from the outset despite no credible experience or in fact a particularly good grasp of the difference between left and right

I spotted the nice young girl who had previously helped me park and shouted for assistance

"What are you asking her for ?!" said the sister in a very loud voice

" I can help you !!"

"Turn the wheels this way !"

" No that way !"

" No the other way !"

" I can't do it ! " I wailed

"Just listen to me !"

"You aren't listening to me !

I realised that I just could not follow her instructions and suggested that she just go away and leave me to figure it out for myself

" Just go away !!!" I shouted

The capable young girl was persuaded to direct us safely into the parking space

Sister made sociable conversation, made flattering comments about her two ponies and took no responsibility for not helping me at all in any way

I went home in despair .....
 
Oh no! Ha Ha! This sounds like me! This has definitely put me off from buying! Am just considering it too! My boyfriend laughs at me when I ride the sit-on lawn mower with the trailer attachment. I have to unhook it, THEN have to pull it out of the workshop, then fix back on the lawn-mower after I have driven the lawnmower out as I can't reverse it! I have no chance then!
 
Oh brilliant! After being utterly humiliated by my YO in about 1900 trying to teach me to tow (which involved reversing round steel pillars in a small barn) I took myself and trailer off to a dead end road with a bridleway at the top, and after much burning out of clutch eventually managed to put the trailer anywhere I wanted. I recommend open space, nothing solid to hit, and no OH (or sister) within 100 miles. You'll be fine.
 
Definitely, NEVER, EVER, have anyone around when you want to hitch up or perform a tight manoeuvre with the trailer. My husband is banished if I have to do anything like this. I am completely capable, but for some reason, if anyone else is about, whatever I want to do always goes wrong and I get flustered. No idea why. Fortunately both horses load themselves so no drama there. Keep going, you'll get there. If you have somewhere like an abandoned airfield somewhere near to you, take yourself and trailer off and spend as long as you need, by yourself, fiddling about until you feel relaxed about everything. Good luck. Very funny reports, but I did feel your frustration.
 
I definitely can't do anything when someone watches...can't understand it and so frustrating. It's amazing what you can do when you're on your own...and that's the time when you want someone notice your achievements!
 
Great story OP...

I'd recommend following rowreach's advice. .. Find a huge car park, and practice reversing until you 'get it'...

Ohh and bungees are very handy for hooking trailer partitions back.

Good luck..

Fiona
 
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