ChwaraeTeg
Well-Known Member
Do You Let your horses say goodbye?
Do You Let your horses grieve?
Anthropomorphism or attributing human qualities to animals, like the feelings of loss and sadness we experience during bereavement, is not misplaced with our pets. I believe they feel as strongly as you or I when they lose a loved one.
Recently my old friend died - a Welsh pony mare we bought for our first grandchild more than 24 years ago.
We are grieving. She was a member of the family, sharing our home, our lives. Her companion of the last 14 years is grieving too - a 22 year old ex-racehorse.
It was feared the Thoroughbred mare would become loopy or behave hysterically once she realized her friend was gone. She was definitely going to be upset as she would be left alone. In my experience, horses are herd animals and rarely happy without companions. This was going to be a difficult transition for all of us.
We spoke of the options for "when the time came" - to find another/other companion/s before that time? ....
We decided - no, she was too unwell to adjust just yet - we would wait until her health improved, maybe advertise for a livery or 2 -
It was suggested perhaps it would be kinder for the 2 friends to be put to sleep together , when the pony was beyond treatment, especially as the tb mare is given to flighty and explosive behaviour at times. Her grief could well be unbearable for her.......
oh what an awful conundrum it has been. I phoned close friends and family - read H&H online, searched the forums - and still could not decide what would truly be the kindest we could do for our horses.
Fate took a hand - Pony deteriorated very suddenly and sadly had to be put to sleep .The tb mare was loose nearby as pony laid to rest in the stable.
Once vet had left , we skipped out the stables then sat with our pony - door open . The mare joined us, just a sniff of her friend and then went into the stable next door to eat her hay as if nothing had happened.
When we went back into the house , we left just a rope across the open door so that the mare could still nuzzle her friend if she wanted to, but she didn't until the morning. I smoothed the ponys face, and came back out .
The mare was waiting and is not normally one to lick - but she sniffed and licked my hands non stop for a few minutes (very out of character), so I left the stable open for her to go in if she wanted .
She licked the door frames then half in and half out of the stable, she threw her head in the air and started smacking her lips together making a very strange sound while quickly nodding her head up and down. She blew gently and the dead ponys face and stood a while before toiletting and going to the stable next door to stand, head low.
Due to the storms, the pony had to lay there for another day.We covered her head as blood was now coming from nose and mouth). The mare just stood quietly near her. When we came out in the morning, she was eating hay and the weather had settled enough for her to go out in the field when she felt like .
As the lorry arrived to take pony away, I took our subdued mare for a walk out of sight of the stable yard.She was calm and nibbled the grass - a treat as this field had not been open since haymaking time .The lorry left and a while later we approached the yard. Before turning the corner, the mare started neighing, grew at least 2 hands in height and became her old prancing self.
Panic was in her face - she moves faster than me, so I let her go on to the stables.(They were now cleaned and yard hosed down).
She came to an abrupt halt outside ponys stable, went in and sniffed - there was now an unpleasant odour.
Next she went across the yard to the shelter and stayed there either looking at the empty stable or in our kitchen window.
Her expression and demeanour was that of a lost uncertain, lonely soul .
It looks like she did not move from the shelter during the night. Droppings were loose, in one place and hind fetlocks were puffy. When I brought the wheelbarrow to finish cleaning ponys stable, the mare overtook me and stood tall in the ponys stable, refusing to move. No problems, I had plenty of other stuff to be getting on with - preparing for her new companions who were arriving in an hour or 2.
When I went out into the field to check and adjust the fencing, she was with me - back to the yard for a forgotten hammer - she was with me . Up to the top field - she was with me, neighing occasionally and looking about.
Now her friends are here, I do not exist. It is as it should be, she is with her kind again, grazing , sharing a shelter looking calm. No doubt she is still grieving , but it is not so obvious today.
Sorry for the marathon. I had to write, while I could remember. Could not write her name, but she was my username here.
Do You Let your horses grieve?
Anthropomorphism or attributing human qualities to animals, like the feelings of loss and sadness we experience during bereavement, is not misplaced with our pets. I believe they feel as strongly as you or I when they lose a loved one.
Recently my old friend died - a Welsh pony mare we bought for our first grandchild more than 24 years ago.
We are grieving. She was a member of the family, sharing our home, our lives. Her companion of the last 14 years is grieving too - a 22 year old ex-racehorse.
It was feared the Thoroughbred mare would become loopy or behave hysterically once she realized her friend was gone. She was definitely going to be upset as she would be left alone. In my experience, horses are herd animals and rarely happy without companions. This was going to be a difficult transition for all of us.
We spoke of the options for "when the time came" - to find another/other companion/s before that time? ....
We decided - no, she was too unwell to adjust just yet - we would wait until her health improved, maybe advertise for a livery or 2 -
It was suggested perhaps it would be kinder for the 2 friends to be put to sleep together , when the pony was beyond treatment, especially as the tb mare is given to flighty and explosive behaviour at times. Her grief could well be unbearable for her.......
oh what an awful conundrum it has been. I phoned close friends and family - read H&H online, searched the forums - and still could not decide what would truly be the kindest we could do for our horses.
Fate took a hand - Pony deteriorated very suddenly and sadly had to be put to sleep .The tb mare was loose nearby as pony laid to rest in the stable.
Once vet had left , we skipped out the stables then sat with our pony - door open . The mare joined us, just a sniff of her friend and then went into the stable next door to eat her hay as if nothing had happened.
When we went back into the house , we left just a rope across the open door so that the mare could still nuzzle her friend if she wanted to, but she didn't until the morning. I smoothed the ponys face, and came back out .
The mare was waiting and is not normally one to lick - but she sniffed and licked my hands non stop for a few minutes (very out of character), so I left the stable open for her to go in if she wanted .
She licked the door frames then half in and half out of the stable, she threw her head in the air and started smacking her lips together making a very strange sound while quickly nodding her head up and down. She blew gently and the dead ponys face and stood a while before toiletting and going to the stable next door to stand, head low.
Due to the storms, the pony had to lay there for another day.We covered her head as blood was now coming from nose and mouth). The mare just stood quietly near her. When we came out in the morning, she was eating hay and the weather had settled enough for her to go out in the field when she felt like .
As the lorry arrived to take pony away, I took our subdued mare for a walk out of sight of the stable yard.She was calm and nibbled the grass - a treat as this field had not been open since haymaking time .The lorry left and a while later we approached the yard. Before turning the corner, the mare started neighing, grew at least 2 hands in height and became her old prancing self.
Panic was in her face - she moves faster than me, so I let her go on to the stables.(They were now cleaned and yard hosed down).
She came to an abrupt halt outside ponys stable, went in and sniffed - there was now an unpleasant odour.
Next she went across the yard to the shelter and stayed there either looking at the empty stable or in our kitchen window.
Her expression and demeanour was that of a lost uncertain, lonely soul .
It looks like she did not move from the shelter during the night. Droppings were loose, in one place and hind fetlocks were puffy. When I brought the wheelbarrow to finish cleaning ponys stable, the mare overtook me and stood tall in the ponys stable, refusing to move. No problems, I had plenty of other stuff to be getting on with - preparing for her new companions who were arriving in an hour or 2.
When I went out into the field to check and adjust the fencing, she was with me - back to the yard for a forgotten hammer - she was with me . Up to the top field - she was with me, neighing occasionally and looking about.
Now her friends are here, I do not exist. It is as it should be, she is with her kind again, grazing , sharing a shelter looking calm. No doubt she is still grieving , but it is not so obvious today.
Sorry for the marathon. I had to write, while I could remember. Could not write her name, but she was my username here.
