Lets have a laugh!!!

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mrsdickinson

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Due to boredom tonight I thought I would share some of the funniest things i have heard over the years!

Oooh, Look at the lovely Blonde one ( Woman commenting on a palomino out hacking)

A friend wants to borrow some money but horse owner says 'Sorry, I cant afford it, My horse needs shoeing'
Friend replies 'Does it really have to wear them'?

Old 11.2 pony out with group of larger horses, passer by tells child, 'oh, look at the baby horse'

A woman very obviously telling me lies when she says ' I used to have a horse but had to sell it. When asked if it was a Mare or Gelding she replied ' a Mare but he was lovely'
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Anyone else got any funny stories?
 
It always makes me laugh when people think that height has everything to do with age!
When I told various people that I was getting a new horse, a lot asked how old he was. When I said he was 12 they replied 'Oh he's quite a big horse then!!'
 
[ QUOTE ]
It always makes me laugh when people think that height has everything to do with age!
When I told various people that I was getting a new horse, a lot asked how old he was. When I said he was 12 they replied 'Oh he's quite a big horse then!!'

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats true, and also, when you tell some people your horse is 12 years old they think it is about to die of old age??
 
I had a livery a few years ago who had a mare and it got out with a new livery that had been gelded a few months before it arrived.

After 4 months she was convinced it was pregnant, instead of calling the vet she got a pregnancy test from the chemist, then hung around for hours waiting for the mare to pee!!!!!!!!!

I nearly wet myself laughing when one of the other liveries told me what she had done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Horse with a Green ribbon on its tail out hunting - 'Why?', says a child, her 'dad' replied - 'because its a go go horse'! (OMG)
Hate to hear his answer for a Red ribbon!! You would get know-where!
 
my dad decided to come to a show with me, he wasnt horsey at all, he went to the toilet and when he came back he said the sign was really funny, it had a arrow pointing left saying 'mares' and one pointing right saying 'geldings' and all stallions to report to the office, he was chuckling to himself about it and knowing he didnt know the difference i asked what door did u take, his reply was 'mares of course...m for men' i still laurgh about it now
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Being told by someone they'd owned a 16.5 Arab Stallion. that did tricks and 'everyfing' and only she could ride/handle it etc etc...

And being asked if my horse was an Arab - he's a Welsh Cob!
 
Also, bieng asked by a drunk man outside a pub ( we had called for a drink during our hack) is that horse crossed with a cow or is it 'pure' horse?

I have a Skewbald Cob!
 
Out hacking on a beautiful dun welsh d 2 little old ladies out walking their dogs said "ooh isn't he beautiful - he's like the horse George Clooney!!"
 
i was having a lesson tonight, my dad was being chief pole putter upper, we kept asking him to move the poles onto the track, hes a bit deaf, so i ended up shouting at him to shift them, as i was passing the top corner of the arena where the cones are kept, my instructor lifted one up to her ear like an ear trumpet, i guess you had to be there but the raucous laughter did wonders for my nerves
 
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my dad decided to come to a show with me, he wasnt horsey at all, he went to the toilet and when he came back he said the sign was really funny, it had a arrow pointing left saying 'mares' and one pointing right saying 'geldings' and all stallions to report to the office, he was chuckling to himself about it and knowing he didnt know the difference i asked what door did u take, his reply was 'mares of course...m for men' i still laurgh about it now
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thats hilarious! bless him!
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[ QUOTE ]
I had a livery a few years ago who had a mare and it got out with a new livery that had been gelded a few months before it arrived.

After 4 months she was convinced it was pregnant, instead of calling the vet she got a pregnancy test from the chemist, then hung around for hours waiting for the mare to pee!!!!!!!!!

I nearly wet myself laughing when one of the other liveries told me what she had done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
haven't laughed this hard in a long time!!
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one of the strangest ones i've ever heard is - the horse i'm riding is a mare, so when it pees while i'm on it's back do i still need to stand up in my stirrups? and another one coming from a girl who owns her own pony;
instructor; so what do you feed your pony at the moment?
girl; i'm not sure. i think he eats chicken like me?
i wish i could say i'm joking!! she wasn't even aware the horse had hay when the instructor explained it to her!!
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x
 
My friend works several hours on a weekend at a competitino venue that also does liveries. When it was cold last year one of the liveries put a duvet in the horse's stable so he could "snuggle under and keep warm!"
Needless to say it was a lovely brown colour when she went up later
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was hacking a very beautiful but nervous mare through a village one day, came across some roadworks. A lovely little family were going on about how gorgeous and beautiful she was...while she was projectile pooing all over the road when she got herself all worked up!

Made me chuckle as previous night saw a comedian talk about how horses are the only animals that can poo everywhere whilst people say "ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL!"
 
One of my psychology (at college) buddies asked how my horse coped with all this snow and cold weather. I said that he does okay as he's got a big fluffy coat.
He looks at me and says 'So he's the long haired variety?'
Was laughing for a while about that one. Doesn't seem funny now though... :P
 
[ QUOTE ]
My friend works several hours on a weekend at a competitino venue that also does liveries. When it was cold last year one of the liveries put a duvet in the horse's stable so he could "snuggle under and keep warm!"
Needless to say it was a lovely brown colour when she went up later
tongue.gif


[/ QUOTE ]
that one brought tears to my eyes!!
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xx
 
my brother once told his new horsey girlfriend on first date that i had a 15.1 welsh section a mare ! that had been gelded !
my dad also once said to my mum that our horse was looking well isnt she ! , ours was a geliding and dad was stood stroking a bay v bargy nasty 2yrold colt in the field thinking it was our horse , our horse was a gelding and 28yrs old , we had had him 14 yrs!!
 
omg im wetting myself thinking about this! i work with equine students and we were going throught tail bandages and i told them a story of a women in a magazine that had droped her horse off at a friends while she went on holiday but forgot about the tail bandage she came back a while later and picked the horse up and its tail and dock had died and fallen off. one student said; "omg, how long does it take to grow back?" me; huh? it doesnt! student; yeah it does, like when people have arms and legs missing they grow back but take ages!! she thought that when people have limbs amputated, for example and arm, that it is amputated at the shoulder all the time, so if someones stump is elbow length, this has grown back from being amputated at the shoulder! oh dear!! we couldnt stop laughing, she found it funny to though thank god once we had explained, she is abit of a special one bless her!
 
Always amazes me how non horsey people always think that if a horse is
lame that it automatically means they are going to have to be PTS
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When you gently ask them if they strained their ankle would that mean that
they were going to limp for ever more they look baffled and then they
suddenly realise how stupid they must have sounded!
 
While out hacking with my friend on her lovely piebald we passed a small boy who was looking in awe as we approached - as we went past I heard him say in a very serious voice "it's not a cow!"
 
Someone I know told me of a woman going to look at a grey to buy, she was disgusted when she returned & said 'it wasn't grey it was white'! I think the lady was supposed to reckon she was a real horsewoman!
 
I used to loan an 11hh pony for my daughter. He was about 24 years old at the time. Her non-horsey friend asked how big he would be when he was older!

He's about 26 or 27 now and still on our yard but is retired. He's so cute.
 
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