Letter to parents- potential pony

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sez1

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This is the letter to my parents. I am now not so uptight about doing well at trials and putting expectations higher than I can reach as I have never owned a horse or evented before! I will take everything in my stride and cross every bridge as I come to it!
Also I have put in "coloured" boots and "aqua" saddle pads. These are xc colours things and also for schooling at home and unaffiliated shows. I understand these things may be innecessary but my grandmas offered to buy them to be all matchy matchy so please don't pick up of that being a waste of money. I'm not sure if this link will work but I hope so, please leave a response to what you think if it and any improvements you think I should make. Thanks for reading!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/71xlmur7oc1oxpb/To Mummy and Daddy....doc.docx
 
Your letter is lovely and well researched. I think your parents would be impressed by the amount of thought you've put into it.
However, there are other considerations that may occur to your parents so don't be too disappointed if they don't see things the way you do.
Its a big step and an expensive one and the commitment is quite an eye opener. Think of a plan B just in case the answer is no, perhaps sharing or loaning a pony or more lessons on a yard that could offer you the opportunity to go to competitions.
Good luck.
 
If this all seems weirdly disjointed it's because I've just made bullet points as I've read through :)

If the horse is on DIY you'll need to be going twice a day every day not 2/3 times per week

£2304 - lots of money, despite it seeming reasonable

Horses don't all eat the same feed. You won't just be able to chose one particular feed and the horse goes perfectly well on it. When they start needing supplements/conditioning feeds (which many horses do) it can get a lot more money than that!

Bedding could workout an awful lot more than that. A tidy horse might take 1 bale of straw topping up a week but I've mucked out many, many mucky horses which have 3 or 4 bales of straw added per week. Also, if the stables are on concrete not rubber matting they'll require a deeper bed ( therefore more ££££ )

Farrier - remember any pulled shoes will incur more money, again not a rarity with horses!

Saddles - likely to be more than £300 each. You've not included any prices for saddle fitters. If you have an awkward shaped horse this could take lots of time and money to get the right fit.

Good fly spray normally ends up being £12/£13 a bottle and you'll use a few of those through the year


I can see you have looked into this a lot but I can see why your parents are likely to be less keen than you! You're asking them to budget just under £30,000 of their salaries and with horses it is most likely to end up much more than your budget, they never stick to the plan. Also, you state that they could just sell the pony. It's not always as easy as just selling, it could take months to find a buyer.

I can completely understand your passion, maybe you should give this to your parents but sit there with them. You will need to be understanding if they still don't want to have a pony - they are a huge expense and portion of time. Good luck :)


ETA : Horserider makes a very good point :) How about looking for a horse to share and gain lots of experience from so that when the time comes for you to have your own horse you'll be much more knowledgeable
 
holy crap how much!??!


oh please dont add stuff up it hurts!! :D


on a more serious note - i really resect you have sat down and worked it out.....but thats a lot of money to expect your parents to pay .....


why not just leave the eventing part OFF the letter.... as that bumps up the cost massivly.... and focus on just local shows for 2 years and working your way into eventing slowly......??? most people do it that way :)
 
just reading back over your threads (As i was a tad confused....) its not really reading right.... how old are you OP???

i suggest some shares and helping out ar RS :) we all dream and theres nothing wrong with that but you need to work your way up :)
 
LouisCat said:
If this all seems weirdly disjointed it's because I've just made bullet points as I've read through :)

If the horse is on DIY you'll need to be going twice a day every day not 2/3 times per week

£2304 - lots of money, despite it seeming reasonable

Horses don't all eat the same feed. You won't just be able to chose one particular feed and the horse goes perfectly well on it. When they start needing supplements/conditioning feeds (which many horses do) it can get a lot more money than that!

Bedding could workout an awful lot more than that. A tidy horse might take 1 bale of straw topping up a week but I've mucked out many, many mucky horses which have 3 or 4 bales of straw added per week. Also, if the stables are on concrete not rubber matting they'll require a deeper bed ( therefore more ££££ )

Farrier - remember any pulled shoes will incur more money, again not a rarity with horses!

Saddles - likely to be more than £300 each. You've not included any prices for saddle fitters. If you have an awkward shaped horse this could take lots of time and money to get the right fit.

Good fly spray normally ends up being £12/£13 a bottle and you'll use a few of those through the year


I can see you have looked into this a lot but I can see why your parents are likely to be less keen than you! You're asking them to budget just under £30,000 of their salaries and with horses it is most likely to end up much more than your budget, they never stick to the plan. Also, you state that they could just sell the pony. It's not always as easy as just selling, it could take months to find a buyer.

I can completely understand your passion, maybe you should give this to your parents but sit there with them. You will need to be understanding if they still don't want to have a pony - they are a huge expense and portion of time. Good luck :)


ETA : Horserider makes a very good point :) How about looking for a horse to share and gain lots of experience from so that when the time comes for you to have your own horse you'll be much more knowledgeable
Click to expand...


Well I have added the extras onto the DIY livery so it's actually part livery now haha!

I know they don't eat all the same feeds but I spoke to a feed advisor and she sai that that balanced is the best bet. I can modify it around the pony as it adapts etc.

The horse would be in days in the summer and nights in the winter. That's the costs I have got from local horse owners who keep their horse like that on rubber matting and straw.

Many people have also said I've overpriced shoeing but that's a good point.

It's weird as I posted this on somewhere else and the response was totally different! Saying I could get saddles for way cheaper than that on eBay haha. But I have a couple of good friends who would check out a horses back and saddle for free but flocking and all that would cost more i know.

Fly sprays are the kind of thing we share anyway! But that's how much a good NAF off one cost from my tack shop


Thanks for the reply and advice :)
 
noodle_ said:
holy crap how much!??!


oh please dont add stuff up it hurts!! :D


on a more serious note - i really resect you have sat down and worked it out.....but thats a lot of money to expect your parents to pay .....


why not just leave the eventing part OFF the letter.... as that bumps up the cost massivly.... and focus on just local shows for 2 years and working your way into eventing slowly......??? most people do it that way :)
Click to expand...

Oh I know! A lot of people have said that!
I know that the eventing part does bump up the price but I really would LOVE to do that soon and even if I shared or loaned a pony I would still want to do that aha
I might consider sharing one though. I can't find very good sites though. Preloved is empty and equine adverts is only done regionally so they're all too far :(
 
noodle_ said:
just reading back over your threads (As i was a tad confused....) its not really reading right.... how old are you OP???

i suggest some shares and helping out ar RS :) we all dream and theres nothing wrong with that but you need to work your way up :)
Click to expand...

I'm 13 but on that other post I wanted I know whether I could make a profit or at least get some money back on the pony. I decided to go about that by pretending I was an adult :/ oh well I've learnt from that now
 
Well done OP, I did this several times when I was young but ended up at the local RS instead!
I would just add your worming costs are high, egg counts can make it much less frequent. And you have budgeted for a smart pony. Would you want to share such a special animal? Maybe get yourself something cheaper and work up the grades together.
 
BWa said:
Well done OP, I did this several times when I was young but ended up at the local RS instead!
I would just add your worming costs are high, egg counts can make it much less frequent. And you have budgeted for a smart pony. Would you want to share such a special animal? Maybe get yourself something cheaper and work up the grades together.
Click to expand...

I have thought of this. Even if it would cost 4000 it would still bring down the costs by 2000! It's always fun learning together anyway :)
 
I really admire your determination :)

LouisCat said:
If the horse is on DIY you'll need to be going twice a day every day not 2/3 times per week
Click to expand...

This is a good point actually - If you want to event, you're looking at committing a couple of hours every day to training and fittening the horse! I do that (at least, always lose track of time) and fair enough I often do have more than one to ride, but mine is exercised every day for 45mins - 2hours, and still isn't really as fit as an eventer should be.

Also look into membership for the pony club! If you're small, someone might have an outgrown pony you could ride.

In the meantime, think about upping your physically fitness, with cardio and also something to help your core strength like yoga, or even just sit-ups. Being fit really, really helps with riding, especially competitively, and it's something you can do for free. :)
 
Pigeon said:
I really admire your determination :)



This is a good point actually - If you want to event, you're looking at committing a couple of hours every day to training and fittening the horse! I do that (at least, always lose track of time) and fair enough I often do have more than one to ride, but mine is exercised every day for 45mins - 2hours, and still isn't really as fit as an eventer should be.

Also look into membership for the pony club! If you're small, someone might have an outgrown pony you could ride.

In the meantime, think about upping your physically fitness, with cardio and also something to help your core strength like yoga, or even just sit-ups. Being fit really, really helps with riding, especially competitively, and it's something you can do for free. :)
Click to expand...

Thank you! Yes I have a very good core and abs (if I may say so myself, always get told off for having a six pack at school, that's not the case haha) and I love doing 100m sprint at school (14.32pb not amazing but thats the 6th time I've ever ran it!) but my stamina is rubbish. Get out of breathe really easily so thank you for that suggestion. I will start going running or something!
 
Sarah, there is lots of useful advice here and more will come about the nitty gritty l - and also on your previous thread from Mums who knew first had how getting to Pony Trial level works - so I don't want to repeat it all... but all I will say is I admire your maturity and determination, and I wish you were my daughter! You are clearly intelligent and articulate and have put a lot of hard work into this plan. I just think you need to ensure that you also make your parents aware that you understand that things won't always go to plan, and can be equally mature through downfalls and disappointments.
 
I admire your passion and your determination but you must be prepared for your parents not to share in this. You are asking for an enormous amount of money and commitment from your parents. You have well researched things, I would allow more for saddles to start as you can guarantee the expensive one will be the one that's fits! It is good to aim high but to get to Pony Trials from point zero in effectively 2 seasons would be very difficult.
Perhaps aim for Pony Club teams to start with, to get to the novice champs is a huge achievement. Good luck
 
sez1 said:
This is the letter to my parents. I am now not so uptight about doing well at trials and putting expectations higher than I can reach as I have never owned a horse or evented before! I will take everything in my stride and cross every bridge as I come to it!
Also I have put in "coloured" boots and "aqua" saddle pads. These are xc colours things and also for schooling at home and unaffiliated shows. I understand these things may be innecessary but my grandmas offered to buy them to be all matchy matchy so please don't pick up of that being a waste of money. I'm not sure if this link will work but I hope so, please leave a response to what you think if it and any improvements you think I should make. Thanks for reading!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/71xlmur7oc1oxpb/To Mummy and Daddy....doc.docx
Click to expand...

This is how I got my first pony! I think it took me about 10 years to finally get to an affiliated event though..

Have you thought about a few weeks on a professional event yard? I think if you manage to convince your parents to buy you a pony just make sure you have an experienced professional to help guide you. Good luck though!
 
Well done you for all your researching - puts some of my essays to shame! No advice but wishing you all the best. Where abouts are you based? Have you done some work experience on an event yard? That way you will get an opportunity to see exactly how much dedication is required and if you really do want to keep doing it, to make some contacts!
 
If your parents aren't horsey or rich I wouldn't get your hopes up. Mine were neither and I didn't own a horse until I was out of school and employed. Now I have four, and a daughter to share the fun with.

I did quite well riding ponies for other folk as a kid, why don't you aim for a loan first or a share, which will come with tack etc. What area are you in?
 
Sarah I did something similar to this as a teenager (not quite as detailed I have to say) and put it to my parents. I even worked for a dressage judge and trainer and livery would have been free she wanted to support me. My parents being non horsey and not sharing my passion just didn't want to own a horse, end of. They could afford it easily, but didn't want the responsibility. They also were adimant that i gave up my horsey job during my a levels as it took up too much time. They just didn't understand my passion, and still don't. I too had to wait until adulthood to own my own.

Now I am an adult I have a non horsey friend with a horse mad daughter and I've spoken to her about getting a pony for her daughter, they can also afford it but don't want to own a horse and dedicate the time etc.

Non horsey people sometimes don't get it. Please prepare yourself for that. I took the conversation with my dad at 14 years old very badly. Especially when I heard it wasn't about the money.
 
I havn't followed your other threads, so I don't know your situation fully, but you need to bear in mind that money isnt the only reservation your parents will have. Having a horse, and especially competing at the levels you want to do, requires a huge time commitment from your parents as well as you and will have a big impact on the rest of your family. I was never allowed my own pony as a child, despite desperately wanting one, not because my parents couldnt afford it but because of the impact it would have had on the rest of the family. They werent prepared to take on the responsibility, costs and stress of something they had no interest in, despite how happy it would have made me - and as an adult now, I can appreciate their reasoning (although the child in me still wishes it had been different!)
 
Well it is worth a shot op, and your letter is certainly very detailed :) However, as others have said it is not only about the money, and as well as the time aspect you may have to get your head around the fact that your parents want the absolute best for you in life and they may, quite justifiably, think that getting engrossed in competitive eventing is not the best for you at this stage in life.

Just have a back up plan in your mind in case they are dead set against it - trying to get weekend work at a riding school or similar would be great experience for you IMO and the more you get to know horsey people the more likely you are to get offered rides by other people. Good luck in whatever you do
 
I admire your determination OP, but try not to get your hopes up.

It is a lot of money for your parents to commit, and I also think it might go higher than you imagine. £300 for a saddle is not a lot!

I also think aiming to get to Pony Trials from nothing in 2/3 years is asking a lot, you would probably need a proper schoolmaster of a pony which will be commanding many thousands of pounds in it's own right.

I wish you the best of luck but try not to pin everything on this.
 
Amazing letter, very well researched!!

But i will say that hand on heart it is impossible to get to pony trials unless you have a full time horsey mother that knows and understand the whole game& is helping you/training you/advising you every day. The kids that get to pony trials have been competing in top comps since they were 5 yrs old - they start of in showing ( working hunter ponies) and pony club comps. They don't do that unless they have the knowledgeable experienced parents behind them, supporting them - the parents are leading their careers from age 5 to 21 ( then the kid often gives up!)
Pony trials is unrealistic. Aim for pony club comps to begin with.
 
Did you give this letter to your parents this evening? I'd love to know how you get on. You've clearly given this a lot of thought so as others have said, if they say no then do look into alternatives as it would be good if you could find another opportunity that starts you on the path to achieving your goal. If they don't agree to the whole plan then look at it in stages and aim for the first step and everything else will follow on in time. Don't give up your dream. Good luck
 
Also, you say that your friends mum will take you to events - even if this is the case, your parents may feel that is something they cannot possibly expect her to do for you. Have you budgeted for fuel costs - even in a shared lorry, these will amount to quite a lot, plus you wont always be at the same events.
 
You've done a lovely job of writing the letter, but as others have said your competition aims are pretty lofty. Have a look at some of the reports and quotes from the children that are riding at that level. They are almost exclusively from 'horsey' families and it's usually their Mum that schools the pony. Sadly even if you were a talented rider and had a great pony you'd been unlikely to gain a place as you wouldn't have some one helping you with the politics side of team qualification and you'd be up against people who are essentially professional riders with a huge support network at their disposal. If you were picking a team would you pick the kid with years of proven results, in house support, two or three qualified ponies, parents who are prepared to throw ££££££ at training, travelling and competition costs or would you pick you? It's not fair but it's the way it is.
What do your parents do? Do you know how much they earn? There is a lot of snobbery about talking about money but it seems unfair to me that parents complain about children not knowing the value of money if they aren't prepared to share that information. FYI what your talking about there is close to my annual wage! Do you have any siblings? If you do keep in mind that your parents would need to offer similar support to them in terms of time and money to be fair.
I got my first pony when I was your age, prior to that we'd had one on loan from a friend to test the water and see if it was manageable. My Mum is horsey and even now aged 32 I rely on her help and support. We have 4 horses between us but even so all of my competition aims have been frustrated by injury or other issues. I LOVE my horses and still get that pony mad girl buzz however it's come at a cost. It's dictated the job I have, where I went to Uni, where I've lived, the people I've had in my life and to be honest a lot of the time I've been pretty miserable because I've not been able to fulfil my competition dreams.
I would reassess your position and look at shares/loan at first to prove that it is manageable and just enjoy it without putting pressure on about competing yet.
 
Cheiro1 said:
I also think aiming to get to Pony Trials from nothing in 2/3 years is asking a lot, you would probably need a proper schoolmaster of a pony which will be commanding many thousands of pounds in it's own right.
Click to expand...

A friend at PC has just bought a European Pony Trials schoolmaster who at 17 cost them £18000. I don't want to put a downer on your dream, but it seems unrealistic! Depending on your level of expertises, it'll take you either a lot of time or a lot of money or both to achieve your top goals.

How much experience do you have? As mentioned previously, probably the best way to 'set the ball rolling' is to ride as many different horses regularly, especially tricky or naughty ones which will improve your riding as a whole enormously because it's all very well getting a fantastic pony but if you cannot ride it to its full ability because you're overhorsed it'd be a dreadful shame to both you and your parents!

I agree with starting out aiming for PC teams level, it's a fabulous organization to be part of which gives so much support! There is also a lot of potential to be gained from PC, moving up the competition levels, etc. And if you do managed to move up PC competition levels, you'll know that you've achieved something because PC has such a high standard of riding at the moment!

Good luck, I hope you manage to make a decision!! Keep us updated if anything, hopefully, takes off:)
 
I haven't had much experience in competing etc so I think Pony Club teams and aiming for NSEA championships is a good start.
Just thinking about plan B: I don't know how owners would feel if they had a pony for sale (not very much just 2-3k) and someone asked to lease it. Some of them can get annoyed especially those who say no loans but a lease is different so maybe they would consider that?
My mum is a supply teacher/TA which could mean sometimes she wouldn't get called out for ages. But the last 4 weeks of the term she was working four days a week on supply teaching money which is a lot so she's doing quite well t the moment!
My dad brings in the main amount for money. He's in the RAF and gets paid a LOT. However he might be changing jobs soon to fly airliners. (Not british airways or easy jet that belong to a company but PRIVATE airliners that belong to rich Russian business men)
The private airliners needed someone to fly their plane on a one off for 7 days so dad flew it down to the Maldives then swapped pilots there while he had 4 days in a posh hotel there! Then flew it back. This is like supply teaching only in flying so again he got paid loads and went mad and bought pandora bracelets an ipad and an iphone for me (and another one thats now just sat on a shelf) He may be taking this job which is quite exciting as he gets paid tons for this!

When we were at weston park with my mum she did say she didn't want to go off taking me to competitions every weekend. I do respect this as it takes a lot of time, I do have a couple of good close friends with lorries. One of them events (long listed for the junior euros this year!) and the other one does pony club stuff and competes with the school

Thanks for all the responses please keep them coming as they're all very interesting to read an full of advice for me to take on board!
 
I opened the letter not sure what to expect, but was amazed and impressed at the effort you've gone to and the passion behind it.

A couple of things jumped out at me as probably costing more - pony itself (for your ambitions you may need to triple that budget), lessons with BE coach may be more (my BE-accredited coach is £47/hour), saddles will cost a heck of a lot more (both mine were £1,700 and were the only ones that my horse liked, very very annoyingly, cost-wise!!!), and please don't touch E&L insurance (they are cheap but they never pay out, based on my experience when I was aged 15-18).

But, I really really hope you reach the part of your parents that feels that passion. I would have been afraid to even try, when I was your age and if I had my time again I would have tried. Good luck and please keep us posted.
 
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