Letting horses say goodbye 😢

[PinkvSantaboots]

So sorry x

 

[FinnishLapphund]

I found my beautiful mare dying this afternoon. In the field. She was put to sleep 30 minutes later. I’m heartbroken. She is being collected tomorrow. They are all in their own paddocks but next to each other. And as I rent the whole yard .. the five were were very close. Do I need to let them sniff and say goodbye. Do they even care ? I’ve not had to deal with this before. Am dreading tomorrow.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it must've been such a shock for you to find her like that.

When I've had ill or old pets were I knew our time together was probably nearing its end, I've sort of already been in the grieving process when their death actually happened, but when it happens like for you, just finding them dying, it's like going from zero to **Bang** shock, and grief, as if I've been pushed unprepared straight down into really deep water.

I don't have a horse, but since horses are heard animals, and you said yours are close even though being in separate paddocks, I presume it might be nice for the others to get a chance to have a closer look if they want to, but only if it could be easily arranged, e.g. as @criso suggested, by leaving a gate open.
If it can't be done easily, skip it.

Whatever you choose to do, I hope today goes as well as possible when they come to collect your beautiful mare. Take care of yourself.

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

 

[Trouper]

What a heartbreaking day for you - I am so sorry.

The herd may have already registered she was unwell so they may take it more easily than we do. If there was one member who was close to her then I might let that one say good bye - or all of them if they were all bonded closely. You know your horses best so don't get hung up on a textbook solution to this.

The only thing I can't do is watch them taken away - but we all have our own breaking point.

 

[Xmasha]

So sorry for your loss .
I’ve always let the close herd members in with the deceased . The others watch from the fence line .
Reactions vary , from sniffing , pawing and ignoring .
Some show grief for weeks after and some are fine .
Do what feels right for you

 

[Peglo]

So sorry for your loss. How very devastating for you. Hope you’re ok.

My old mares were in the same field when Flo was PTS and peggy never came over after it was done. She only got upset when flo was taken away.

I didn’t show the other ponies after Peggy went but I think they knew as they were all standing at the gate shouting for her which was unusual. They settled quickly though.

 

[babymare]

I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been an awful shock. Take care of yourself x

 

[exracehorse]

Awful morning. Eyes are so swollen. I’m just waiting for the lorry. Martins from Braintree. To take her away. I opened the gate so the four could say goodbye. I had to pull Bella away as she became very odd. Pawing at her body, pulled her rugs off I had covered her with, perhaps asking her to stand up ? And stod on top of her. She was quite agitated. Wouldn’t leave her alone. The others sniffed. Curled their top lip up. And walked away

 

[Hollylee1989]

So sorry for your loss, I let my boy say goodbye to his field companion. He popped his head over her stable door but immediately turned away, they will understand what's happened. If you've got stables, could you pop them in while she's being collected. Thinking of you

 

[Cragrat]

I am so sorry - what a shock.

We have a close , small herd, and always let the others spend time with the bodies of their friends. They always sniff, some nuzzle, one licked and nuzzled - he hadn't been with us long but had formed a close attachment. We leave them in the field with their friend - they usually hang around close by, stand watching over the bioy, and gradually move away after a few hours - we aren't a yard though, so have the luxury to do this. We absolutely do not let them watch the body being dragged away though - I don't watch that either.

We find some are a bit depressed/ low mood for a while, but we don't get any calling/whinnying/looking for their frined. I also remove and wash anything that smells of their friend - rugs/brushes/headcollars/feed buckets, and clean out the stable thoroughly.

 

[Gallop_Away]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been such a shock.
Personally I would let mine say goodbye. They are such intelligent sensitive animals. They understand death and I would prefer that they had the opportunity to process that their companion is gone, instead of being distressed and calling for them, not knowing where they are.
One of the other liveries lost their beautiful youngster last week. It happened in the field and the others have been incredibly subdued since it happened. They definitely know he's gone.

 

[nagblagger]

Sorry for your loss, sending hugs.

 

[SashaBabe]

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful mare. Sending a virtual hug x

 

[MNMyShiningStars]

Sorry for your loss x

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Awful morning. Eyes are so swollen. I’m just waiting for the lorry. Martins from Braintree. To take her away. I opened the gate so the four could say goodbye. I had to pull Bella away as she became very odd. Pawing at her body, pulled her rugs off I had covered her with, perhaps asking her to stand up ? And stod on top of her. She was quite agitated. Wouldn’t leave her alone. The others sniffed. Curled their top lip up. And walked away

Most of my cats and dogs have acted quite similar, but occasionally there's one that acts a bit different around a dead body. I like to think that both ways are quite normal. Years ago I had a cat who walked over the dead body of one of my late dogs, literally walked up on her, and walked around on top of her. I don't know if she did it to try to get a reaction from the dog, or for some other reason, but it didn't last long enough for us to feel the need to remove her. When she was done with whatever it was she did, my cat just walked off the dog, and acted as if nothing.

I'm sorry Bella became a bit agitated, and you had to remove her. But at least you know you gave everyone a chance to understand what had happened, and even Bella will know that what she did didn't get any reaction.

 

[Sealine]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The last couple of days must have been very hard for you. Once you are over this terrible shock I hope you will be able to look back and remember the good times you had with your lovely mare. Take care x

 

[Surbie]

I am so sorry for your loss. That must have been a terrible shock.

My horse is with a herd he has mostly known for 4 years. When one pony was sold he was depressed and looking for him for weeks. Horribly, one of the others had acute laminitis recently and had to be pts. With the owner's permission I took my horse to see the body - he wouldn't go close, but will have been able to smell his friend and that he was dead. While Arch used to drag me to the stable to see his friend while he was on box rest, he hasn't looked for him once since. I'm very glad I did it, though several of the liveries think I am bonkers.

You do whatever feels right to you.

 

[exracehorse]

Most of my cats and dogs have acted quite similar, but occasionally there's one that acts a bit different around a dead body. I like to think that both ways are quite normal. Years ago I had a cat who walked over the dead body of one of my late dogs, literally walked up on her, and walked around on top of her. I don't know if she did it to try to get a reaction from the dog, or for some other reason, but it didn't last long enough for us to feel the need to remove her. When she was done with whatever it was she did, my cat just walked off the dog, and acted as if nothing.

I'm sorry Bella became a bit agitated, and you had to remove her. But at least you know you gave everyone a chance to understand what had happened, and even Bella will know that what she did didn't get any reaction.

Thank you. My husband was yelling to get her out of the field. He said it wasn’t dignified. But we were all emotional. And you don’t really want to see another horse standing on top of the body. And pawing her head. It’s funny because Beau and Woody who have shared fields with her, showed the least interest. But I know Woody did say goodbye. The strange thing was when Martins came. If a lorry comes into the yard they all become excited. Is it a new horse. What’s happening. But when it drove across the field to where she lay it was ‘silence’. And because of her position, two were right next to her on adjacent fields. They watched. But no excitement. Then carried on grazing. I absolutely believe they knew she had gone.

 

[BBP]

I’m sorry you have had such a terrible time. Bella may never have experienced a dead horse before. I know mine hadn’t and he was trying to process it in his own way. He was trying to grab his friends ears to try to lift her head up. He also pawed at her. It wasn’t easy to watch, but he had to figure out that she wasn’t getting up (I think that was why he melted down when he saw her pulled onto lorry as he had processed that she wouldn’t respond, and yet then he saw her ‘moving’, I don’t think he could cope). I really hope that you and your horses are okay, maybe not today, but soon.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Thank you. My husband was yelling to get her out of the field. He said it wasn’t dignified. But we were all emotional. And you don’t really want to see another horse standing on top of the body. And pawing her head. It’s funny because Beau and Woody who have shared fields with her, showed the least interest. But I know Woody did say goodbye. The strange thing was when Martins came. If a lorry comes into the yard they all become excited. Is it a new horse. What’s happening. But when it drove across the field to where she lay it was ‘silence’. And because of her position, two were right next to her on adjacent fields. They watched. But no excitement. Then carried on grazing. I absolutely believe they knew she had gone.

I can understand your husband's reaction, it doesn't look dignified from our human perspective. But at the same time as I'm sure your horses acted the way they did when the lorry came today because they knew something was different, I also believe that neither the cat I talked about, nor your Bella, acted out of disrespect.

Actually, I just remembered a documentary I've seen about Elephants. A very young calf had sadly died, and besides gently feeling with her trunk on his body, his mother pawed on his head with her huge, big foot in a way that looked everything but gentle or dignified. But she was only trying to wake him up/get him up, that was all there was to it.

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

 

[Auslander]

Alf has lost two great friends in the years i've had him, and both times, he has been given time to go and see them afterwards. with his mare, he sniffed her all over, then walked away, and with his gelding friend, he sniffed him, squealed and struck out. I let him do what he needed to do, although the striking out was hard to watch - and afterwards he was quiet for a few days, then gradually reverted to normal.
We lost an old mare earlier this year who was the boss of my Job Centre herd, and they knew before she was PTS that she was dying. They stood about 30ft away watching while the vet injected her. It was pretty peaceful as she was already down, and once we'd finished, we walked away and let them go up to her if they wanted to. Only one did, and then the three of them marched off to the back field, never looked back and didn't call - it was interesting, as usually they were all desperate to be her chosen ones.

 

[ponynutz]

So sorry