Letting novice friend ride my horses???

[Lois Lame]

I think this sounds like one of those situations that is best not got into because it would be hard getting out of again.

Sometimes a good way to put someone off is to just repeat, quietly, gently, a little like a broken record, your original statement of why you don't want a particular thing to take place.

 

[Firefly9410]

Ignore the hints! Unless she has some sort of exceptional life circumstances then she has whatever her income is and she can spend it how she chooses. Most people give up something or several somethings to afford a horse so I expect she could have a horse if she truly wanted it badly enough. No need for you to feel pressured into letting her ride yours. My experience of lending green horses to people who ride different to me is having to reschool them for a few weeks after every ride. Not worth the hassle!

 

[honetpot]

One of my neighbours wants to 'help' me with a pony I had broken last year. I have no idea how well she rides, our land is clay and like concrete. Perhaps I would more inclined to see if she could actually ride well enough, if either she had helped us over the winter when I was still a bit feeble, or got on the old pony who has done everything, but can be a bit naughty, but he is obviously either not smart enough or enough of a challenge.
People get a bee in their bonnet, and I would rather it stayed in the field with no known problems, than have someone get on it because they want to have a play, and give me a problem. She has now asked me about three times, I just keep saying no.

 

[Kayleehan]

I wouldn't. I let a friend ride one of mine (my least precious one!) and she seesawed until he was what she thought was on the bit (aka way behind the vertical) and he was confused by this that he actually lay down to politely roll her off!

That's brilliant!!! ? I've made its very clear thats not allowed haha

 

[Red-1]

Nooooo. When we had Charlie horse, I had lots of friends over to ride. He was very suitable and enjoyed helping other riders. I enjoyed watching him enjoy helping other riders. He took a rider with just 4 weeks' experience on a solo hack, I knew he would bring the rider home safe. He took the same rider, with 12 weeks' experience to a XC course. Then at 16 weeks, to the beach for a gallop in the surf. It was all enjoyable to everyone concerned. Charle horse had 7 of my colleagues atone point or another, for their first competition, lessons, whatever. Numerous other people too.

The point is, it was enjoyable to me and to him.

No-one gets to ride one of mine unless it would be enjoyable to me and the horse. That doesn't happen very often. No-one joy rode on my last 3. I would not have enjoyed it, so it didn't happen.

It sounds like, in your situation, you are dithering because you don't think it will be enjoyable for you or the horse.

So, don't do it - simple.

I always think of it like, would they ask to drive my car? Would I offer my car for a razz round the field or roads?

 

[HashRouge]

I think you're over-thinking things (and I say this as a terrible over thinker!). This doesn't need to be any kind of formal, long-term arrangement. If you want to do something nice for your friend, ask if she wants to come for a hack with you. If you both enjoy it, ask if she wants to come again on such and such a day. But don't suggest beforehand that it will be anything other than a one off, just in case you change your mind. You have no obligation whatsoever to let her ride your horses in the school, so I wouldn't even offer unless it is something you really want to do (and it sounds like it isn't). Letting her hack would be a really nice gesture in itself - I would be delighted if a friend asked me to come and hack one of their horses with them! If you end up hacking together regularly and you become more comfortable with her riding your horses and want to let her ride them in the school (under your supervision), then you can make that decision at a later date, but I don't think it's something you need to feel pushed into doing now

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

A friend had this. She had a girl who exercised her old ex racehorse for her. One day this girl allowed a friend to ride him despite being told never to let anyone else on him. She apparently kicked him into a trot, he took off up the road and she was leaning back pulling on the reins totally useless. Ended up coming off backwards and was killed. As you can imagine this was a horribly upsetting experience for all concerned. Such a tragedy just because someone thought they could ride. The horse was a lovely quiet old boy, should never have happened.

God that's awful I am careful who I let ride mine especially as one can be really hot to hack sometimes it's worth the risk

 

[Errin Paddywack]

Thinking back, I had a spell where I kept my ponies at a friend's farm. One was newly broken and the other a been there done it sort. My friend used to hack my old boy out to keep my young one company. What I hadn't realised is that she had very rigid hands. It was only later after I had them at home again and rode him that I realised his mouth had gone dead. He had always been a strong pony but I rode him in a vulcanite half moon snaffle with no real problems. After that it had to be a kimblewick. I remember my sister riding the same friend's pony for her when she was pregnant with her first child and saying that she was the only horse she had ridden that ran away with her at a walk, just no mouth at all. After that I knew why.

 

[dorsetladette]

I just wouldn't bring the subject up. She's already hacking out with you and enjoying that. So I'd keep it at that. If she asks if she can school. You have a couple of options either invite her to share a lesson with you with your instructor, she can ride in the arena but under your instruction as you want their education to be consistent or (my preferred choice) 'I'm really sorry I'm sure I will sound really selfish but I've spent a lot of money, time and effort on my horses and I really want to school them myself and compete on horses that I have produced solely myself'.

 

[ihatework]

Yes we have done! She wants to school too though

Honestly she can either get her own or go to a riding school then. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it’s so easy to ruin nice young horses.

I happily let a variety of people hack mine out on a long rein but they aren’t fished out freely for schooling.

If she doesn’t have a horse and has the offer of hacking yours out she should be blumming grateful

 

[emilylou]

The short answer is no, don't do it. Its not worth the hassle. When I have done it in the past I have felt uncomfortable the entire time watching them ride in a way that is not good for my horses and have felt stressed and irritated by the entire thing, then spend the next ride or two undoing the mess. I have horses and pay lots of money for them for my enjoyment. I'm not a free riding school so I wont entertain anyone with a ride unless I want to. If you feel obligated and it makes you uncomfortable, say no.

 

[cornbrodolly]

I was told 'Everything you do is either training or untraining your horse'. I have lived by that ; yes, I have given friends or their children a plod out at times, on a safe horse , and at one time was getting over generous with one friend , and it started turning into 'untraining' pretty quickly. A good get out is to say the horses arent insured for other riders.

 

[LadyGascoyne]

Is it possible to say no but to volunteer to help her try to find something more established to share? Are there other horses nearby that might be available?

 

[Kayleehan]

Nooooo. When we had Charlie horse, I had lots of friends over to ride. He was very suitable and enjoyed helping other riders. I enjoyed watching him enjoy helping other riders. He took a rider with just 4 weeks' experience on a solo hack, I knew he would bring the rider home safe. He took the same rider, with 12 weeks' experience to a XC course. Then at 16 weeks, to the beach for a gallop in the surf. It was all enjoyable to everyone concerned. Charle horse had 7 of my colleagues atone point or another, for their first competition, lessons, whatever. Numerous other people too.

The point is, it was enjoyable to me and to him.

No-one gets to ride one of mine unless it would be enjoyable to me and the horse. That doesn't happen very often. No-one joy rode on my last 3. I would not have enjoyed it, so it didn't happen.

It sounds like, in your situation, you are dithering because you don't think it will be enjoyable for you or the horse.

So, don't do it - simple.

I always think of it like, would they ask to drive my car? Would I offer my car for a razz round the field or roads?

Yes, to be honest I feel bad for them, and i think it will bring her schooling back a lot.

 

[Bambelina]

I have so far let 2 people ride mine whilst I’ve not been riding due to pregnancy. She has 24 hr 365 day turnout so she doesn’t need it as such, but it’s just to keep her brain ticking over. One girl I’ve known since we were kids and we are now late 20s and so I know how she rides.
One is a guy on the yard. He’s only a teenager but he’s ballsy and I liked that, as my mare does sometimes nap when first being ridden but can be ridden through it. She is a sports horse and quite fine and dainty, whereas he is used to the cobbier types, and I think he likes the difference. I think his friend fancied a go as they dropped a few hints whilst we were both watching him ride her one day, I politely shot them down straight away as she is not the type that would appreciate giving pony rides to anyone and everyone. If you’re anything like me your horses are your babies and you put a lot of work, time and money into them, so remember that. I’m not saying your friend would intentionally ruin them, and we have all been novices at some point (and I wouldn’t say I’m particularly advanced compared to many either!!) but don’t feel obligated to let someone ride your horse just because they’re there.

 

[Maesto's Girl]

I let a couple of people ride my mare - but not RIDE my mare. She's got so many buttons I wouldn't have anyone else school her unless they were an accomplished rider of quirky horses! Not saying I am a fantastic rider, but I know my mare insider out and have worked too hard to get her to where she is. Jumping - a friend tried who has ridden her and is a good little rider but she refused 3 times so actually my mare says no to other people jumping her...not that she's the boss or anything

 

[Winters100]

Yes, to be honest I feel bad for them, and i think it will bring her schooling back a lot.

If you feel like that it will be a huge stress for you. In this case I would address it with your friend at the right moment. Something like "It's a shame I don't have one suitable for you to ride or I would offer, but mine are too green for now".

And then do not worry about it. You are under no obligation. I get many hints about riding mine, especially my schoolmistress mare. As she is safe and settled in her work I do quite often allow it, but only with people who I know will take my direction. If I have any doubts I just politely tell them that it is not a good time.

You sound like a very considerate person, which is lovely, but don't get pushed into anything that you feel is not in the best interests of your horses.