Letting youngster see horse when PTS plus aftercare dilemma

[Joyous70]

Im having my eldery pony put to rest very soon, I have been advised to let my youngster see him once he has passed, has anyone else done this? what sort of reaction can i expect from her?

Also as I am at a livery yard where we have individual type turnout, i.e. my eldery gent and my youngster are out together in their paddock, but once my old boy has gone she will be out on the paddock by herself, here lies my problem:-

I arrive at the yard DIY at 6.30am in the week, i am the first to turn my two out with hay, the other horses are turned out at various different times during the day, in paddocks either side and across the way, usually mine are also the last to come in at night. Am i expecting too much to ask her to go out into the paddock alone in the mornings before any of the others go out? or should ask if i can turn her neighbours out as well so she is not alone?

Any advice appreciated, thank you

 

[jrp204]

Yes, we lost a pony suddenly and our mare was in the same shed, she was absolutely fine she knew he was dead and appeared to accept it, she never called for him when she went out to the field which she would have done before. I would turn her out at the same time as her neighbours until you are happy she is settled.

 

[Cocorules]

When I was on livery I owned mother and daughter. Daughter lived with mother all her life except for a short period while being weaned so they were very close though never suffered separation issues. When mum was pts by injection daughter was in the stable next door and did not know what was happening. I stayed with daughter while it happened. Daughter knew mum was ill though.

I showed her the body straight after and put her back in her stable. Mum was pts in the evening in winter and not an option to turn her out on her own immediately.

Next morning I turned her out and she galloped angrily round the field. She was on her own and turned out before other horses in next door field. She was not the sort of horse to be bothered by short periods on her own.

Mum's body was removed out of sight of daughter. A few days later daughter had a new field mate. It took a while for her to relax after but she did.

 

[SassieSoz]

I shared a field with a lady and we had two horses each. On the day my old boy had to go to pastures new, we sectioned the other three down the far end of the field (5 acres so no problem there).
Once my boy had been put down (I'd opted for vet and gun) my friend brought my then 7yo up from their section so he could see B.
There was no drama, just a bit of quiet grazing then he very gently touched B on his chest and shoulder, sighed then wandered off.
He never called for him and never showed any signs of mourning.

Over B's lifetime he lost 3 close buddies at different times and he never got to see their bodies. He definitely went through periods of equine mourning, the longest being for about 2 months.

As long as the situation allows, I would always let the other half of equine friendship see their buddy.
As jrp204 said, I think that as horses, they accept what they can see has happened.
Another vote for letting your youngster initially have some turnout company.

It's never easy but hope it all goes ok for you.

 

[Goldenstar]

I have let my others horses see a body .
I would get the youngster settled with a new freind before the day.

 

[JinglebellJessi & MistletoeMagic]

When magic was pts, kyra was in the stable watching, we let her out and she sniffer the body then went to grazing. No calling, just acceptance and was happy to be turned out alone. However there are horses out 24/7 in adjoining paddocks.

When two horses in a field beside prince were pts he didnt get to see it, just heard the shots. He called out near on constantly for 3 days and didnt eat. Afterwards he was okay and mostly back to normal but if he heard a noise from that area he'd be straight over to the fence and calling again.

I think it truely helps them recover if they can see the body and understand whats happened to their friend.

 

[Joyous70]

Thank you for your replies.

Unfortunately once my old boy has gone, my youngster will NOT have a new field mate, she will only have neighbours on the paddocks around her.

 

[wiglet]

Yes, definitely let her see him once the deed has been done - if possible allow her to graze for a while along side him and give her time to see what has happened - they (from my limited experience) are usually very accepting of the situation.

Unfortunately when my old mare was pts, she was at the vets surgery so my other mare didn't get to say goodbye or see what had happened to her buddy. She was distraught for weeks and I think seeing her walking around the field, looking and calling for her friend was more upsetting than having my mare pts.

My new mare goes out alone for a while in the mornings. She's fine with it - they soon get used to the routine. Maybe put a slice of hay down to keep her amused until the others get turned out?

Being left out alone when all the others have been brought in for the night is (according to my horse) a bit different - she's not so keen on that so I always ensure she's not left out alone. I guess you'll just have to try it, guage her reaction and then act accordingly.

Hope it all goes well - let us all know xx

 

[PollyP99]

Agree on the let her see the body thoughts, my mare was present for the death of her mate (died suddenly in the field) when I arrived she was calm, she came over to the body with me and we stood in silence together, I was distraught ( naturally as it was a huge shock) she was very sad but accepting, she was the type not to be alone calmly but she knew what had happened and accepted it, I rode her out alone from the paddock ( to move to be near other horses) and this usually vocal mare was silent, they do know and seeing it allows them to move on IMO.

On the other point I am now on livery and have had to turn her out alone from time to time before any other horse is out, she knows the routine and accepts it, she gives the odd call but not stressed, I do think if her original best buddy was at the yard she would kick up being out alone but since we lost her my mare has grown up a bit and seems to rely less on others for confidence, she's 6.

How long is it till the others go out?

 

[hnmisty]

My old girl saw my younger pony's body and she screamed all night for him. And she had never seemed too attached to him before.

 

[Joyous70]

I usually turn out at 6.30am, as far as i know the others get turned out anywhere between 8 or 9am. She generally goes out first in the mornings, with hay and i the go back for the old boy, and she does seem quite accepting of this, sometimes she will have a little canter round and then settles to her hay.

 

[Wagtail]

I would not turn her out alone. Either pay someone to turn her out later or ask to turn out someone else's horse that is in an adjoining paddock.

 

[PollyP99]

That's quite a long time then. I'd be tempted to ask someone if you could turnout an adjacent horse maybe 15-20 mins after for a while if you can manage this and extend the period. This way she goes out alone but not for long at first, I would avoid getting something out at the same time as you want to teach her to be alone but it may take a few days, depends on her reaction.

Edit, I agree with the above BUT if the op needs long term to be able to manage this way I would try (might not be possible) to acclimatise her to some time alone.

 

[Joyous70]

Thank you again for your replies - i think maybe the answer is to turn a neighbour out at the same time in the mornings, i don't have time during the week to leave her for a while prior to turning something else out, as i have to leave the yard at 7am to be at work for 7.30, paying someone else isn't really an option, as there is one livery who will do AM turnouts, but it is not every day, so the days she cannot do turnout everyone fends for themselves and the days are never set days. Hopefully when the lighter days/nights arrive it won't be such an issue, as there are some out 24/7 and hopefully by next winter she will be used to having some alone time

 

[robden]

When I had to have my mare pts, she shared her field with her daughter, who was 8 at the time and an unrelated 4yo who had been with her for 3 years, I chose to have her pts by injection in the field she knew, both other horses stood by and watched the process, which was quick and quite peaceful, once she was gone both other mares walked quietly over to her and sniffed her for about a minute, then went off to graze, unlike myself who lay beside her and broke my heart for 3 hours, 21 years together, not easy to say goodbye for me.

When they came to collect her body for cremation, neither of the other 2 were interested, it was like they had already said their farewells to their wonderful mother and friend and had already accepted she had gone.

I hope your old boy has a quiet and peaceful passing and your youngster comes to terms with it quickly.

 

[Joyous70]

When I had to have my mare pts, she shared her field with her daughter, who was 8 at the time and an unrelated 4yo who had been with her for 3 years, I chose to have her pts by injection in the field she knew, both other horses stood by and watched the process, which was quick and quite peaceful, once she was gone both other mares walked quietly over to her and sniffed her for about a minute, then went off to graze, unlike myself who lay beside her and broke my heart for 3 hours, 21 years together, not easy to say goodbye for me.

When they came to collect her body for cremation, neither of the other 2 were interested, it was like they had already said their farewells to their wonderful mother and friend and had already accepted she had gone.

I hope your old boy has a quiet and peaceful passing and your youngster comes to terms with it quickly.

My youngster has only been with me for 14 months, but i feel she should see that her field mate has gone, unfortunately with all the wet weather we have had i don't think we will be able to use their paddock to have him pts as we won't be able to get him out of the field again afterwards. I will probably be the same as you and break my heart for a good few hours after by his side, he has been with me for 20 years.

I think my youngster will be accepting of the situation, she seems quite level headed

 

[PollyP99]

My youngster has only been with me for 14 months, but i feel she should see that her field mate has gone, unfortunately with all the wet weather we have had i don't think we will be able to use their paddock to have him pts as we won't be able to get him out of the field again afterwards. I will probably be the same as you and break my heart for a good few hours after by his side, he has been with me for 20 years.

I think my youngster will be accepting of the situation, she seems quite level headed

Hope all goes well, you both sound like you have a level head on your shoulders.

 

[robden]

My youngster has only been with me for 14 months, but i feel she should see that her field mate has gone, unfortunately with all the wet weather we have had i don't think we will be able to use their paddock to have him pts as we won't be able to get him out of the field again afterwards. I will probably be the same as you and break my heart for a good few hours after by his side, he has been with me for 20 years.

I think my youngster will be accepting of the situation, she seems quite level headed

It is a very difficult decision at any time but when your friend has been with you for so many years, it seems to cut deeper somehow.

My thoughts are with you, it has been 2.5 years since I lost my mare and still think about her everyday, can't help it, her daughter is so much like her.

Take care
Rob

 

[Joyous70]

Thank you for your kind words, all of you. x

 

[EstherYoung]

Thank you for your kind words, all of you. x

You're in my thoughts xxxxx

Ours youngsters saw three of our oldies go. With Joe, they all just understood. The only one that lost the plot a bit was a 3yo who didn't belong to us and hadn't ever really been that close to him. Joe had been herd leader though, so I don't know if she suddenly felt the direction had gone. The herd were quite 'tight' for a couple of weeks and then seemed to relax again.

With Ol, Felix climbed all over him for a while, pawed at him, chewed his ear, and then realised he wasn't coming back so wandered off to graze elsewhere.

With H, we had to do the deed on the track next to the field because of access issues, but they were all stood over the other side of the fence to him, watching. We brought them all out afterwards to have a good sniff, but they weren't that bothered. Because they'd seen it happen they understood.

Spud was H's best friend, and we were quite worried about him - he lost his mojo for a bit afterwards and was definitely hit hardest. We lost H in the autumn and it's only just recently that Spud has managed to find his place in the 'new world order'.

I did go for injection rather than bullet though - purely because I knew the others would see and I wanted those few seconds gap between the human's action and the event. I didn't want the others thinking that it was something the human had done to their friend. I also didn't want the noise to alarm them.

Personally in your situation I would look at making sure your youngster has a neighbouring friend for at least the first couple of weeks afterwards, and then maybe look at weaning onto more time alone.

 

[Hemirjtm]

We had our old mare PTS at the end of september last year. And my now 3yr old tried to break the gate to get to her. The vet said to let him into the yard and let him see her. It was heartbraking for me as he kept trying to get her up. kept nuzzling her and then galloped away, and back to her. After about 20mins he calmed down, but I think it was the best thing for him to be with her. My other horses looked over the gate and then quietly walked off once she had passed but he needed to see her, and be with her.

This mare was like his second mum as he lost his real mum at 3 months old, and again the vet told us to leave her in the field with him until she was collected.

I don't believe in hiding what has happened from them.

Can your youngster see the other horses in the stable block ? If so I would think that she would be ok to turn out on her own for a few hours as long as she has hay. If she can't then I would suggest you turn someone else's horse out for them.

 

[Supertrooper]

Definitely give him the option but don't be upset by his reaction. When my friends elderly mare was PTS the vet said to lead the other horse over so he could see her. He became very distressed, reared up and pulled away and when I managed to catch him he was shaking all over. He did come over in his own time though with no pressure being put on him and was fine when she was taken.

 

[LittleMonster]

When i worked on a yard, on my day off one of the horses sadly had to be put to sleep
Whilst turning out the horses the next morning they ALL stopped at the same place, and lowered there heads (i can still feel the sensation now it was really strange!) near the muck heap and took me a while to get them going again.
I was talking to the liveries later on and they said that was where he was put to sleep but none of the other horses could see! Never under estimate animals!
I couldn't believe it, but i agree with people letting companions saying there last goodbyes and seeing the body.
Would make me feel better too as least then horse could have a proper send off in my eyes.

Bx

 

[Sophstar]

When i was dealing with my colicking cob in the school, my other pony was pacing the fence line and continuously calling for him. They were best friends and my cob was a rock for my pony. I took him in to see my cob once the vet had been and he was scared when seeing his body but surprisingly sniffed him for a bit and then just pottered off to eat the grass verges. He was very very quiet for nearly a week and could be seen just standing at the fence for hours. He became very clingy to me to obviously make up for cob's absence but luckily my field share always ensured 1 of his 5 were always out and my pony was never left on his own. To this day since my cob was pts in April last year my pony is only on his own for 10 mins when field share is feeding and turning out his crowd.

 

[flirtygerty]

We had four when the old boy was pts by injection, the remaining three were allowed to sniff the old boy and seemed to accept he was gone, however, when we lost our TB to a colic attack after a field injury, my lad saw it all from beginning to end and took it hard, refusing to eat or go into the field, being downright dangerous when taken for a hack to cheer him up, I had to borrow a pony to keep my lad company, till I found a companion for him, it really was heartbreaking for me watching him suffer and not being able to help, he didn't really improve until the mare arrived, then he picked up, I don't usually humanise animals but my boy was in a deep depression with grief