Life can be cruel at times

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Hound ears

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My three-year-old pony was put to sleep due to a progressive neurological condition that wasn’t going to improve, so it was the right decision. He was PTS a few months ago, and it still feels incredibly raw. I’ve made the decision to give up horses. I can’t be around them without breaking down and thinking of my boy. I’ve gone through all of his things and donated them. It feels like I’ve been robbed — owning a pony was my childhood dream, and when I finally achieved it as an adult, it was taken away from me so suddenly.
 
Hound ears said:
My three-year-old pony was put to sleep due to a progressive neurological condition that wasn’t going to improve, so it was the right decision. He was PTS a few months ago, and it still feels incredibly raw. I’ve made the decision to give up horses. I can’t be around them without breaking down and thinking of my boy. I’ve gone through all of his things and donated them. It feels like I’ve been robbed — owning a pony was my childhood dream, and when I finally achieved it as an adult, it was taken away from me so suddenly.
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I'm so sorry to read this.

I can't imagaine how hard that must have been for you.

I hope you can take comfort, in time, that your selfless act which has
caused you so much pain, is the reason your pony didn't have to suffer.

Sometimes all we can do is let them have peace.

Sending gentle hugs
 
Hound ears said:
I’ve made the decision to give up horses. I can’t be around them without breaking down and thinking of my boy.
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That is how you feel now, and it's hard. Things will get better and feel better even though it might not seem so at this moment.

Is there something - anything - that you can really throw yourself at? Three weeks after a pony that I bought for the kids (and for me) had to be put down, I threw myself at the couch grass growing out of control in various parts of our garden. I really went after it, very physically (I don't use any kind of poison). Believe me, it was very helpful.

It doesn't matter what you choose to 'go after'. It was my husband who put me onto this (throwing myself at something). I only did it to prove his silly idea as wrong. Well, can you believe it? It wasn't silly.
 
I'm so sorry, it's devastating to lose anyone. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sending positive thoughts.

PS - If you need someone to talk to (because not all non-horsey people 'get it' so maybe aren't always very helpful listeners, however well-meaning they are), the Blue Cross Pet Loss Support service includes horse loss and comes highly recommended: https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-loss-support You can call/email/chat online etc etc.
 
I dont think you should give up ponies or give up riding because of this loss. Most of us have loved animals or humans who have died young and I can only say to you what I said to my own kids - that everything living will one day die. Your cat, your dog, your horse but the people you love as well, even including young people still at uni. The only things that dont die are inanimate objects, like cold metal or stones. If you want a relationship with a living creature, then death is there too.

Your childhood dream was wrong you see. Because you were a child. Growing up you come to realise how fragile our existence is. But human beings are people who learn. Nothing you had with that little horse is wasted.

Because the relationship between a caring human and an animal benefits both sides and what you have learned through being good for one horse might one day benefit another.
 
I’m so sorry @Hound ears

As others have said many of us on this forum have been in similar situations - I lost two geldings from the same stallion as a yearling and a ten year old. After my retiree died at 31 I decided that I never wanted another, but that was after 26 years of ownership. You might change, you might not, but look after yourself for now, it’s early days.
 
So sorry OP, it's especially hard to lose them when they're young. Hopefully time will heal and you never know, in time you may feel like another but it's ok if you don't. I always go by the mantra that it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. Undeniably my life has been better for having had the ones I've lost in it but it really does hurt when they go.
 
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Sometimes I think anyone willingly involved in horses must be insane. They're expensive and backbreaking work and they repay us by breaking our hearts in the end.
But there's nothing like them as soul medicine.
I hope you'll do what's right for you OP, you need to put yourself first, but your compassion to do what's right for the animal above your own feelings is a trait much needed in the horse world. You should be proud of yourself. I hope the grief eases with time and you can make your childhood self's dream true again in future. ❣️
 
I lost a pony too soon. he wasn't young, but neither was he old, and I have often said since then that I won't get another one. But it was three years ago that he went and now I am thinking that maybe I might, one day, have another pony.
It's OK to say, enough, but it's also OK to change your mind later, if you so wish.
 
Totally awful for you and you have my deepest sympathy. Neither of the two I lost were that young but they weren't old either and it a dreadful thing.

As others have said, it will pass and, if you are meant to have one, it will find you in due course. Sending a virtual hug.
 
So sorry to hear this. You did exactly the right thing and in the pony's best interest even though it was such a hard decision for you. I can
understand how you would feel cheated. Although a cliche, Time is a healer and you never know what the future holds. Sending warm wishes.
 
So sorry to hear this and I really feel for you. Over the years I have lost three horses all at 3 years old but for different reasons (2 were homebreds that I had to make the call to PTS and and the third was one I had bought as a foal and found dead in the field). Losing a youngster seems so much harder as all your hopes are tied up in them. Over time I have come to terms with it but it still rankles.

Give yourself a break and realise that you made the toughest decision for the right reason. In time you may wish to get another horse or you may decide not to - you will make the decision that is right for you.
 
It hurts. I lost my first horse when he was 9 and I was 18. Had to make the call to PTS due to severe neurological issues that made him a danger to himself and his handlers. I only had him 2 years.

Then I lost his replacement 18 months later, also at age 9. Had to PTS on the table during colic surgery when it became clear he was not saveable. I was so beyond devastated.

I couldn't afford a third after all those vet bills, so worked for rides and catch rode for my trainers, fixed the client horses, broke the babies and restarted the OTTBs--which were then always sold out from under me when they where nicely produced and ready to compete. It SUCKED.

Finally took the ownership plunge again when I was 28. Had to retire that one at 17 (he gave me years of qualifying for national finals, though). Bought my mare as a just-backed 3 year old. Bred her when she was 8 after she'd already racked up a wall of show awards. I almost lost both of them. Three weeks of terror and sleepless nights.

But they both made it! Mare is now 21 and still jumping happily, sound as a dime (she refuses to retire, but I have stepped down jump heights for her), and that formerly sickly little foal is my best buddy, hack adventure partner and competition winner. Ranking consistently in the top 15 nationally for our division in Canada.

So yes, life can be cruel. Life is not fair. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself the time and space to grieve. But know that it gets better. It truly does.
 
Lost my first horse aged six. I’d only had her a year. She was a beautiful soul. Biggest regret I never got a photo of her. She was called Gypsy. Sweet girlie.
 
I am so very sorry. Please look after yourself and allow time to heal. To have to make such a decision about a young is a huge emotion to process.
 
I am so very sorry for your loss . The grief we feel is a lot to process , and I am still going through it too although not with one so young. Look after yourself and allow yourslef time to heal before making big decisions about future involvment with horses . It is a total lifestyle change to not have any .
 
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