Light hearted post - bsja dress

I do hope it rains soon. Its normally the 'off' season (march-october) for the tweed clad snaffle and skull cap brigade but this hard ground seems to be making them spawn early :eek:

A few bits of essential info for the early spawners.
1) Having just one pole down is NOT a good round.
2) A nice 'steady' double clear is really missing the point
3) The jumps are all at least up to height because showjumpers can jump so dont need to be 'eased in' every round.
4) Practice fences do exceed height of class. 1.05cm oxer is starting height in warm-up for BN. Have you not heard of oneupmanship? Sheesh.
5) If your steady double clear does manage to get you placed please realise that its only because we were all saving are best horses for the up comming qualifier - you were just lucky that day.
6) There are just two types of showjumper - those that impress with their ability and those that lack the former so blind all and sundry with da bling. Tweed brigade do not fit in either category.
7) Do not be offended by the mocking you receive. Us showjumpers need to amuse ourselves during the 2 hour wait between classes.

Hope this helps :p
 
Don't forget you will need to grow your horses mane, trim it with scissors and make sure it lies on the wrong side.:;
 
I'm beginning to get worried - I thought I was a showjumper but:

I've not had my name on a saddle cloth since I was about 16, and pretty sure it actually just had my initials on it. I own a dead sheep half pad, but it's not been on a horse for about two years. I don't own a yellow thong, the only Kingsland item of clothing I have is socks and even then only cos they're thin for under my boots (ok I'll admit they're De Niros but they're plain - no patent, bling etc, honest!). I don't have a groom or flash truck!

On the other hand, my tack is black, I wear a plain velvet Charles Owen hat and my jacket is fairly understated. I ride in a skull cap at home and my horse wears - shhhh don't tell - a fulmer snaffle and his precious showjumper back legs have brushing boots, not weighted boots. I plait up for shows (even intros), I spend half the winter hanging about P2Ps and I work my horse on the gallops. I went out XC schooling last week. I own hairnets and white gloves. Oh my god I think I'm turning into an eventer! Shame I'm a big fat wuss with fences that don't fall down...
 
JunoXV said:
I do hope it rains soon. Its normally the 'off' season (march-october) for the tweed clad snaffle and skull cap brigade but this hard ground seems to be making them spawn early :eek:

A few bits of essential info for the early spawners.
1) Having just one pole down is NOT a good round.
2) A nice 'steady' double clear is really missing the point
3) The jumps are all at least up to height because showjumpers can jump so dont need to be 'eased in' every round.
4) Practice fences do exceed height of class. 1.05cm oxer is starting height in warm-up for BN. Have you not heard of oneupmanship? Sheesh.
5) If your steady double clear does manage to get you placed please realise that its only because we were all saving are best horses for the up comming qualifier - you were just lucky that day.
6) There are just two types of showjumper - those that impress with their ability and those that lack the former so blind all and sundry with da bling. Tweed brigade do not fit in either category.
7) Do not be offended by the mocking you receive. Us showjumpers need to amuse ourselves during the 2 hour wait between classes.

Hope this helps :p
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Ditto all of that - esp the last one - I usually fill my time stuffing my face in the cafe, in fact all my nearby venues are rated by cafe quality above all else! :D
 
JunoXV - I spent the best part of Saturday in the rain at a BE event, and ENJOYED it!!! Going to take myself off to the Equiport website and mooch on that until the urge to break bones hurtling over solid fences passes - think nice colour coordinated saddle cloths and wool rugs could be the answer...

Roll on my first BS(JA) show since mid May next Friday - def needing it!
 
JenniferB said:
JunoXV - I spent the best part of Saturday in the rain at a BE event, and ENJOYED it!!! Going to take myself off to the Equiport website and mooch on that until the urge to break bones hurtling over solid fences passes - think nice colour coordinated saddle cloths and wool rugs could be the answer...

Roll on my first BS(JA) show since mid May next Friday - def needing it!
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Nope we've got you & we're keeping you. Where's Figjam. BACKUP...I need BACKUP!!

:p
 
Nicoleak0 said:
Nope we've got you & we're keeping you. Where's Figjam. BACKUP...I need BACKUP!!

:p
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riding.gif
Back up you say? Fear not... I am here! :D :p

JenB shall turn into an eventer... mwah ha ha!
twisted.gif
We have written evidence on more than one thread that she enjoyed eventing (even in the rain!) and is going to do an intro soon! :D
 
oh i love watching the eventer people they are so sweet !!!

though i too am a bit worried as i always plait my horse, he wears a fly veil but its navy he only has white saddle cloths (no b ling) i do have a fluffy but only advised by the saddler as it was a little wide

He wears plain tendon and fetlock boots too !!

oh i also have a navy GPA, yes i do have an equiport jacket but its navy - oh and i am getting an ANIMO one too !! I do have De Niro boots also but plain black ones and kingland socks - again they are thin and my boots are tight !!
 
I got funny looks for turning up in my eventing gear to a local clear round SJ with a walloping great big "eventer" that looks like it should be at high end stuff...
 
CLASSIC, classic, classic!!

All Showjumpers reading this, just shows what good sports you all are, i'm sure you'll get you're own back!!

Just one other thing you need to remember......YOUR VOICE.....

Practice HUP HUP HUP HUP..... GOOOOOOOOOOOOO-ON, maybe someone else can help out on other vocabulary ???

:-))
 
I ALWAYS stand out at BS(JA) - for a start pony is 13.1h, then she is grey, bathed, plaited, wears plain grey tendon & fetlock boots with a saddle with....shock horror....no numnah! She doesn't have a breastplate, martingale, flash/grackle, and has a simple pelham with no roundings.

I always wear a stock, navy heavy wool hunting jacket, cream breeches, and Regent long black leather boots.

We have fun though! :D
 
Ok, I am freaking out here! I have a dressage horse who loves to jump and I really want to do some BNs on a ticket on him by the end of the summer. I last SJed affiliated in 1996!

He'll be in a black snaffle bridle with a drop noseband and a Otto Schumacher bling browband (no martingale), a borrowed Albion jumping saddle, and white saddlecloth, black and silver banded fly veil and plain black leather tendon and fetlock boots. I'll be in white eurostar breeches, front zip dressage cut Cavallos (my only black long boots), Pikeur diana showjacket and grey GPA helmet. My hair will be in a hairnet, and I will be wearing gloves.

Will I be SCREAMING "dressage rider on holiday"? :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o
 
Halfstep said:
Will I be SCREAMING "dressage rider on holiday"? :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o
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Whats dressage? Being showjumpers we obviously have never heard of flat work:rolleyes: I might have watched this really old movie where someone was sat on a horse and it wasn't jumping - but all my friends told me it was fake - an urban myth
 
kez1001 said:
i have recently bought a half dead sheep for under saddle so maybe it will make her jump better! lol :D :D
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If it's only half dead I think you might have problems :p;)

Don't forget the vat of mascara you will need to apply, and grouting of faces with orange paint is necessary. Practicing and perfecting the 'face like a slapped arse' look/glare is also important (why do so many SJers always look so miserable?!)
 
To be honest - i know this is tongue in cheek - but im still pretty offended tbh.

Im always in smart attire, my horses are always clean and tidy and - just to shock you more, so is my tack and boots.

I actually find the comment 'chavvy mum' VERY offensive - obv not seen mine have you? - maybe not tar all showjumpers with the same brush - as i know with myself, and ALL of my BS friends you are totally off the mark.
 
BronsonNutter said:
If it's only half dead I think you might have problems :p;)

Don't forget the vat of mascara you will need to apply, and grouting of faces with orange paint is necessary. Practicing and perfecting the 'face like a slapped arse' look/glare is also important (why do so many SJers always look so miserable?!)
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Well you would be miserable if you had a bright yellow thong up your a**e, a motorcyle helmet on your head, dead sheep under your saddle, and enough bling to sink a battleship, oh and a dead yellow bleached tail hanging under your motorcycle helmet. Wouldnt you?
 
This thread is priceless - have had several 'just spat my strawberries and cream over the keyboard' while I catch up.

Excuse me while I get some wet wipes and kitchen roll!!!!!!

Juno's reply and FJ's fantastic smiley are highlights but keep it coming a bit longer.

Fiona
 
I am in thee same position as you... i do not own:
1) a chavvy dad- im not sure i can change this tbh.. he is very happy in his stripy shorts (weezy will know these! :D )!
2) matching numnahs, lorry, rugs, jacket etc. etc.
3) BLING!
4) a bsja- mum who will fight over practise fences! Anyone want to lend one?
5) I have not mastered the technique of growling/encouraging/whatever else it can be called.
6) I need some more dead sheep- im sure the sheep outside my garden wont mind if a i borrow some of their fluff...?

Shall we go on a shopping trip?

I was labeled an eventer by Weezy:
"do i look ok?"
"you look like an eventer"
Clearly my HS1, hacking jacket, stock and cream johds. was not good enough for these show jumpers! :p
I am re-reging BSJA but shall continue to look like an eventer despite nearly hanging up my eventing boots! :D
 
Vicki_Krystal said:
To be honest - i know this is tongue in cheek - but im still pretty offended tbh.

Im always in smart attire, my horses are always clean and tidy and - just to shock you more, so is my tack and boots.

I actually find the comment 'chavvy mum' VERY offensive - obv not seen mine have you? - maybe not tar all showjumpers with the same brush - as i know with myself, and ALL of my BS friends you are totally off the mark.
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I wouldn't be offended by this, people always mock either what they don't understand or are jealous of ;)

Tbh, I don't really care what people think, as long as I go faster and leave them up - thats all that matters really, although I have never said hup to my horse, and don't wear spurs and a suitably harsh bit. ;)

Me? I'd be surprised if my mum knew what a chav was! :D
 
Grey_Eventer said:
4) a bsja- mum who will fight over practise fences! Anyone want to lend one?
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If you can find my mum at a show you can have her - she always wanders away at crucial moments to chat up some PC mum who's kid is on the team :rolleyes:

Mind you, she's pretty out of practise with putting up fences, and if you want advice - as long as you need more leg on you're set, thats the only thing she ever says! ;) :D :D
 
only_me said:
I Identify showjumpers through by points!

If anyone ever says to me that they are a showjumper, I always ask do they
A) Have a saddlecloth with their name on it
B) Do they own a coat with their name on it
C) Own some dead sheep
D) have a motorbike hat
E) know what a hairnet is
F) can they jump out of a trot? (only eventers jump from a trot im told!)

Everyone I have asked so far have told me that they have their name on their saddlecloth.

Sad, isnt it, that all showjumpers have a fear of forgetting their name?!
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Hahaha sometimes I am SOOO glad I live overseas. We do still have the snobs, but I think I only really see reed jackets and the like at the Grand Prix classes. Everyone else is in black, or white. :P
I'm only doing little SJ with my silly ex-racer at the moment..hehehe but I am glad to say that A,B,C, and D - No. E -yes and f yes :D
 
Hehe, this is a funny thread - largely speaking... However, you can't really blame people for feeling that they dont want to post on this forum unless they event.

Comments like this don't really do eventers many favours:
Golden_Match_II said:
Wear tweed, nd all your eventing stuff - I always do, and it's so funny when people bitch about you when you're warming up/just before the bell, but I went to west wilts, and won a class, and smeared it all back in their face. I then proceeded to say loudly to mum "Oh my god, I'm so happy, I can't believe how tidy that round was! It must be the fact that I do dressage from time to time!!" And it was very funny indeed. The evils I got from the other people in the line up was priceless!!
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Did you actually say that at a show? :-0

Taking the p out of show jumping attire is funny - I show jump, and I do it all the time as well. Insinuating that no show jumpers do dressage is just stupid and reeks of snobbery.
 
In defence of bum-short sj jackets - if you resemble a smurf in stature they do make your legs look longer! The fact that the derriere looks a bit larger is a small price to pay. Especially if you are on a 17.2hh... :-D

I went from show jumping in my sisters dressage cut Pikeur jacket to a bum-enhancing short jacket, and instantly changed my look from Geoff Billington to Edward Gal. ;-)
 
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