Light hearted post - bsja dress

Ha ha Nic and FJ, your plan has been thwarted - Mr B's BSJA registration went recorded delivery yesterday, not getting me in tweed yet (at least until the time comes round to go P2Per qualifying again!). This is actually the funniest thread that's been on here for a long time, but as I'm going to officially have a showjumper again by the end of the week I should maybe go and invest in some yellow undies - is there a particular brand one has to wear to hang out the top of one's breeches?xx
 
Oh dear, there is some not quit so tongue in cheek stuff...

"Quote:
Originally Posted by Golden_Match_II
Wear tweed, nd all your eventing stuff - I always do, and it's so funny when people bitch about you when you're warming up/just before the bell, but I went to west wilts, and won a class, and smeared it all back in their face. I then proceeded to say loudly to mum "Oh my god, I'm so happy, I can't believe how tidy that round was! It must be the fact that I do dressage from time to time!!" And it was very funny indeed. The evils I got from the other people in the line up was priceless!! "

TBH this is just a bit ignorant :) Any SJers I have had a lesson with have been sh!t hot on flatwork, so the only reason why you'd get evils if you said that is because you sound so clueless ;) :p

Personally, the only think I'm struggling with is choosing which "colours" to use on saddleclothes, jacket colours, fly veils etc. Years of just choosing XC colours is easy when you only ever use a black or white saddle cloth, SJing requires a WHOLE new level of colour co-ordination ;) :p
 
Quick reply re thong...make sure it's got some diamante on the back!!!

(I BS & BD in equal amounts when I've got something sound & well, so some BSers DO do dressage! Altho we do always hope that the white boards might be jumps & set off in a purposeful BS canter when the bell goes to start our dr test...)
 
Catembi thank you for the clarification - shall go hunting a yellow diamante encrusted thong before next Friday, would think that at Intro shows it is MOST important to have the correct level of attire lol!
 
This post really made me chuckle, very light hearted and the 'showjumpers' are being ever such good sports! All the disciplines have quirky dress codes, if it makes the eventers doing BS feel any better spare a thought for the showing fraternity, I go in full working hunter show gear inc. tweed, hair net and straight cut, no blocks anywhere saddle all in brown (teehee).
 
JenniferB said:
Catembi thank you for the clarification - shall go hunting a yellow diamante encrusted thong before next Friday, would think that at Intro shows it is MOST important to have the correct level of attire lol!
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Oh it is indeed, attire is most highly scrutinised at intro level shows, the higher up the levels you go the more you can get away with infact some of the pros are a postively slack with their attire you only need see some who have plain boots and plain jackets without a piece of diamante in sight, but they are allowed as well they are pros and you wouldn't dare answer back to one of them ;) :p :D
 
Thing is though I love all the SJ attire!! It's great fun matching saddle cloths and rugs etc and getting as much bling as possible! It's just so much fun!!

Oh and yes I can be loaned out to be the mum in the collecting ring!
 
santa145 said:
Oh it is indeed, attire is most highly scrutinised at intro level shows, the higher up the levels you go the more you can get away with infact some of the pros are a postively slack with their attire you only need see some who have plain boots and plain jackets without a piece of diamante in sight, but they are allowed as well they are pros and you wouldn't dare answer back to one of them ;) :p :D
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You'll probably remember this but quite a few years ago there was a guy from Devon ish who used to jump in Green Hunter Wellies - I saw him at Devon County - so not small shows.
 
dieseldog said:
You'll probably remember this but quite a few years ago there was a guy from Devon ish who used to jump in Green Hunter Wellies - I saw him at Devon County - so not small shows.
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- I can remember being sat in the awning of the toastie van at Hickstead about 15 years ago watching in bemusement as John Whitaker tried to mend his boots with tape - the sole was falling off - but he'd just had them polished for free on the renapure stand so at least they were shiny :D
Everything DOES seem to have got ridiculously blingy in recent years. Makes me glad in away that we now do a horse sport where people really DON'T care what you look like as I was never one of the cool kids ;)
Oh and the reason for the names on jackets etc - well it USED to be because if it wasn't labelled it would grow legs and walk off on someone elses back...
 
Haha, what a wonderful way to brighten up a Tuesday morning :p

What I find the most hilarious is the fact that there is such a divide between the disciplines of one sport :p

I do have to admit , even thought I've never affiliated in either, I am a tweed clad, HS1 wearing, neckstap using, tb riding budding eventer... :D
 
not seen him before DD, it wouldn't surprise me though, the two years I did the BSJA classes at Devon County (I used to be stupid enough to jump those heights not any more ;) ) it was raining in monsoon proportions, one year so much so the official warm up was under several inches of water so they divided off part of the main ring to use as a warm up instead! You can garuntee where Devon County is concerned it will either be monsoon rain in which case wellies very practical or roasting hot in which circumstances he probably opted for flip flops!! :p :D
 
OMG! Just realised I have an identity crisis.
Here is pic of me doing stressage (yes showjumpers do sometimes manage to wobble between the white boards).
sat22135.jpg


and here is pic of me showjumping (or trying to).
only difference (apart from horse) is my hat :eek::eek::eek:
img004.jpg


Please re-assure me I'm not a closet eventer :o
 
i'm sorry that is not dressage JunoXV you are clearly carrying a short whip and your horse has boots on, therefore I must conclude that it was a mere moment of insanity on your part during the warm up for some SJ. Afterall SJ'ers don't do trot at all do they ;) :p :p :p :D (although I am impressed by the cleanliness and plaits ;) :D )
 
santa145 said:
i'm sorry that is not dressage JunoXV you are clearly carrying a short whip and your horse has boots on, (although I am impressed by the cleanliness and plaits ;) :D )
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Now look here! Short whip was so I could give him a good hiding if he back off from judges box (see I am a showjumper).:p As for the boots, horse is OH's youngster and as I refused to warm up in white bandages the boots are to protect his widdle wegs.

Horse prep had nothing to do with me (dressage diva OH did it). Mine would have gone as it came out the field. :rolleyes:

PS Pic was taken in warmup, not test.
 
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little_flea said:
The top pic is obviously photoshopped - HHO eventers have long since established that there is no such thing as show jumpers who do dressage. ;-)
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Ah but you fail to take in to account the OH dressage diva need for a crash test dummy to take young horse in to first comp. Anyway, if its true that showjumpers dunny dooo stressage how comeses I have a beagler huh? :p
 
JunoXV said:
Ah but you fail to take in to account the OH dressage diva need for a crash test dummy to take young horse in to first comp. Anyway, if its true that showjumpers dunny dooo stressage how comeses I have a beagler huh? :p
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It makes no sense! And how do you get the horse to bend its head in like that - I can't see any draw reins? More photoshopping, I have to assume.
 
It is me, promise! Though granted I do look skinnier than usual in that pic - must be the plain black jacket and the long stirrups lol! Mind you, no longer have him - he decided that he didn't want to be a showjumper sadly... Don't tell me even my horses are sabotaging my showjumping aspirations!!!
 
Showjumpers do sometimes do dressage look, here's proof! Even if I do do it in my GPA.

NemoDr1.jpg


As for dress for showjumping, bring on the bling! :D After years of pony club and hunting where only the plainest gear was allowed, it does get a little dull after a while! I love the fact that you can more or less wear what you like for jumping - why not?! Unfortunately I don't have a chavvy mother though, or even a mother (or any other family member) that will go within a mile of a warmup.
 
little_flea said:
And how do you get the horse to bend its head in like that - I can't see any draw reins? More photoshopping, I have to assume.
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Dont you know nuffink? All you have to do is stick a really severe bit in neds mouth and saw away for an hour. This will make the bars nice and tender then when you pop the snaffle back in horse will back off from the bit and bend neck in. Simplez :p
 
What an excellent thread! :D

I agree with what has been said.

* You certainly need your name on your blouson jacket - I am talking all the way across your back so that everyone knows who you are.

* You name and your horses name on your saddlecloth.

* Make sure your tendon and fetlock are nice a fluffy and match the rest of your tack. Never mix brown boots with black tack!

* Stud girths are a must even if your horse/pony doesn't need one and again this needs to match your saddle, bridle and boots.

* You need a tight jacket with a nice bright collar, which of course matches your saddlecloth, ear veils, rugs, lorry and your blouson.

* Cut your horses mane and don't bother to give a bath.

* Jump about a foot higher in the warm up area than you will jump in the class.

* Wear loads of make up and when not in the ring make sure you walk round with a tiny vest top on and your nice white trainers.

* Oh and finally you need a pushy mum/parent/friend who can shout at you in the warm up area and make sure you have control of the fence.

I think that is about it. :p ;)
 
JunoXV said:
Dont you know nuffink? All you have to do is stick a really severe bit in neds mouth and saw away for an hour. This will make the bars nice and tender then when you pop the snaffle back in horse will back off from the bit and bend neck in. Simplez :p
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LMAO!
 
Brilliant thread, has really cheered up my Tuesday.

Particular thanks to the authors of the following quotes who made me laugh out loud.
Thank you all :D:

Weezy said:
Some show centres are very happy for you to call on the day and ask approx start times, others will hang up on you *coughaddingtoncough*
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natalia said:
I got some blue bling metalab spurs once and my friend was so embarrassed she threw them out the window of the lorry.
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kez1001 said:
"there are ten infront of you then 5 mins later there are 17 then andother 5mins and they shout you in!"
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JunoXV said:
5) If your steady double clear does manage to get you placed please realise that its only because we were all saving are best horses for the up comming qualifier - you were just lucky that day.
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BronsonNutter said:
If it's only half dead I think you might have problems :p;)
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jumptoit said:
Surely 1 pole down is the best possible result? You do well enough to not look completely useless but still manage to avoid the jump off ;)!
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little_flea said:
It makes no sense! And how do you get the horse to bend its head in like that - I can't see any draw reins? More photoshopping, I have to assume.
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And not forgetting FigJam's brilliant smiley!
 
ha ha great topic!!! Although I'm sure we could do one of these about each discipline!!!

I'm a show ride who DAH DAH DAHHHH Took her ARAB BSJA :O oh my life!!!

And how very dare I dress like a show rider :O in a tweed jacket with a CREAM shirt and red tie, and GLOVES the sjer were amazed by that invention along with the invention of HAIRNETS!!!! I also wore CREAM jods, and long black PLAIN boots :O

My horse wore a PLAIN BROWN bridle with DAH DAH DAHHH A FULL CHEEK (:o) Snaffle :O not some gag/driving bit style bit with a tight martingale!!!

My horse had no dead sheep :( nor a velvet numnah!!! Just a polypad the shape of the saddle!!! and NO BOOTS :O

But if you wish to fit in you MUST follow-

-Get a shiney bowling ball hat, or either a velvet with an upside down bow on the back covered in bling
-Die your hair bleach blonde and put in lots of extensions so that when you ride it at least reaches half way down your back and flaps around
-on now to the 'shirt' is it even that, just buy on of the posh brands and make sure it's got pink piping, and you don't want to cover this up by looking smart so don't wear a stock or tie
-next the jacket, if you like the scruffy look go for the 'jump jacket' basically a tight rain coat ;) HA HA or if you wish to go for the tacky look go for either a stripy one with a bright coloured collar and covered in bling, or go for a coloured one, I find bright pink is the tackiest!!!
-Never wear gloves, I don't think they have ever heard of them personally, you may wish to approach a regular but please make sure your remove your gloves they may feel threatened
-next jods, now they MUST be white and have some sort of JOHN WHITICKER (sorry don't know how to spell that HAHA) written on the side, just so you look cool... and you MUST wear a bright coloured thong
-Boots, now these change regularly but to make sure you fit in I think tretrons (spelling again haha) or black boots covered in bling

Now the horse, your horse can never be well behaved it must always be jumping around just to make you look cool...
-It must first have an EXTREME jumping saddle on, and then padded with lots of dead sheep and velvet numnahs, all finished off with your and your horses name written on
-then it must have a breast plate this is necessary and shouldn't be ignored, it must then be fitted in either a running martingale or a standard martingale!!!
-Then you horse must have a very posh bridle preferably a grackle with LOADS of fluff so your horse goes cross eyed ;) + a blingy browband
-Boots again must be the height of trend roasting your horses legs in dead sheep
-and please make sure you don't make too much effort (you don't want to be doing that) so make sure your horse is bought straight from your yard not brushed or washed and defiantly not plaited, who would want to look smart now ;)

If you follow all of these tips I'm sure you will find yourself in the height of showjumping fashion and in you are under the age of 18 to finish your look off make sure you have a mother or father who likes to scream and shout and thing you are god!!!! ;)

HAHA!!!
 
Posts like this are why I love this forum. Thank you all for brightening my day!! (although getting lots of funny looks from people in the office when I keep laughing!)
 
JunoXV said:
Ah but you fail to take in to account the OH dressage diva need for a crash test dummy to take young horse in to first comp. Anyway, if its true that showjumpers dunny dooo stressage how comeses I have a beagler huh? :p
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I wasn't going to join in this thread as it is far too trivial for the likes of me, but when I read this I felt I HAD to respond :( JunoXV I have always liked and respected you but to find that you are so vain as to wear a beagler hat - well, I'm so disappointed in you. :rolleyes: You are a selfish and thoughtless man, think of the hours your family must spend worrying about you. I bet if you did a GP test you'd even wear a top hat :eek:
 
Oh dear - I feel I am being laughed at at all the jumping shows I go to and I never had a clue!

1) I don't have a lorry - a trailer instead
2) I don't own anything with dead sheep on it
3) I don't have any clothes that are branded by the popular companies
4) My horse is coloured (mostly white) so always looks pretty dirty
5) My horse doesn't wear fetlock boots
6) I wear a stock because I think they look nice
7) I smile at people and am friendly (slightly off topic - is this acceptable?)
8) I'm not affiliated so enter on a ticket
9) I don't use draw reins
10) My horse goes in a snaffle

Maybe I should give up now... :-)
 
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