Widgeon
Well-Known Member
That's just appalling.
Liveries tattling
- Thread starter Bee3
- Start date
That's just appalling.
MuddyMonster
Well-Known Member
I tend to agree.
Most of the drama on yards in my experience seem to be caused by middle-aged plus women who if I was pushed to have an opinion on would probably do better spending more time actually riding their horse than talking about other people who do.
Most of the younger generation I know are too busy trying to work full time, ride their horse and maintain family or social life's to worry about what Ethel may be doing or who taught Gertrude last week.
Widgeon
Well-Known Member
I was trying to find a tactful way to word this and failed, so I deleted my post! But I completely agree.
MuddyMonster
Well-Known Member
I'm more tactful in real life, honest
But I was made a little cross by one such person this morning so probably not as tactful as I could have been 
sport horse
Well-Known Member
I dont think it is confined to yards. It is anywhere there is a group of people coupled with the one person who wishes to let everyone know they are 'in the know' before others. It makes them seem important in their tiny minds and they never think about the hurt it might cause. I had one 'friend' with me when I found my husband dead. I asked her to not say anything until I had contacted the family. 10 minutes later I started receiving calls expressing condolences and my husband's sister actually heard via gossip rather than from me. Truly shocking and no longer a friend.
ApolloStorm
Well-Known Member
In my experience on yards it’s always those who need to spend more time concentrating on their own riding (and generally lack thereof!) that tend to be the ones to sit and gossip, the ones who ride and compete often are the subjects of the gossip! I always thought it stems from jealousy rather than anything else! The best yard I was on for lack of gossip was just full of young(er?!)people who wanted to ride and have fun on their horses, and the single troublemaker was a Middle Aged woman but she had nobody to gossip with!
Though my current yard is a mixed bag it’s the blinking YOs family and a few “select” liveries who are the cause of all the gossip related drama.
On a whole while I think a bit of mindless chit chat is harmless it’s the culture of sitting in groups and being nasty or sitting by the arena and whispering that causes the bad feeling.
Though my current yard is a mixed bag it’s the blinking YOs family and a few “select” liveries who are the cause of all the gossip related drama.
On a whole while I think a bit of mindless chit chat is harmless it’s the culture of sitting in groups and being nasty or sitting by the arena and whispering that causes the bad feeling.
Toby_Zaphod
Well-Known Member
OP, decide what you want to do & where you want to be. Sort out the arrangements with the new yards & don't say anything about your move to anyone until everything is finalised. You do not need to tell people about what you are planning because that's what causes the problems & issues. When all is arranged & the new yard knows the day you want to start your livery then talk to your current yard owner presumably there is a fortnights notice. Stay your notice & then move. Many yards have people on a waiting list to come on the yard so there should be no problem. The problems start when you start mentioning what you want to do to other liveries....... DON'T DO IT!
Ample Prosecco
Still wittering on
100% this!
Ample Prosecco
Still wittering on
Just to add, the worse gossips I ever come across are older busy-bodies with too much time on their hands. Kids may over-share (in our eyes) but ime they tend to be a lot less judgemental and are far more interested in what they are doing than in gossiping about who is moving where and why.
dreamcometrue
Well-Known Member
No ageism on this forum is there?
Ample Prosecco
Still wittering on
I don't think so. Just people making observations from their real-life experiences. I can think of about a dozen older women on yards current and past, who sh1t stitted and gossiped. Not one child or teen. Teens can be bitchy, cliquey etc. But the OP's description of people wantin to know everyone's business and then gossiping about it, is not common in that age group ime. We aren't interesrting enough to them!
expanding_horizon
Well-Known Member
She didn’t tell anyone other than new yard owner. New yard owner told some of her liveries who told some of the original yard liveries. OP didn’t tell anyone other than the essential new yard owner!
Pedantic
Well-Known Member
Keeping a secret on a livery yard........PFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT 
Rowreach
Adjusting my sails
At least you're not a middle aged womanKeeping a secret on a livery yard........PFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT
MuddyMonster
Well-Known Member
I don't consider myself ageist no, but I can only speak from my experience.
That's not to say that it is *only* ever middle aged women or all middle women - one of my hacking buddies is a middle aged women and they are lovely. Some of the nicest people I've met have fallen into that age bracket. And generally the majority of people I've met on yards (middle aged women or otherwise) have been nice enough.
But I've personally never been made to cry by a teenager or younger person on a yard but I have been left in tears and/or moved yards as a direct result of more than one middle aged woman and their words actions.
It's been a while since anyone has bothered me enough to make me cry and I'm much more confident to say something back now and/or totally ignore now but when I was younger (late teens to early/mid twenties especially), it wasn't always a particularly pleasant experience at times on yards due to a specific sub set of women - who happened to be middle aged or older!
onemoretime
Well-Known Member
Firstly I would like to say Im so very sorry for your loss. Secondly, that is appalling that someone should go around spreading something so tragic.
Time for Tea
Well-Known Member
I am so sorry to read this. How absolutely awful.
honetpot
Well-Known Member
I must be really boring or thick skinned but I have never been the centre of attention. I never discuss my plans, how we used to do, and really never asked someones advice, and is someone crosses me I tend to tackle head on, and be direct so they avoid me, I think.