Livery getting me down.

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BayLove

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Please be gentle cus I'm actually in tears about this.

I've not been happy at my livery yard since I got my boy only a few weeks ago.

Long story, however I thought all would be sorted when my boy's new field mate arrived.

Problem is I'm so scared of this horse! He's been charging around in another field galloping up and down since I arrived there and now he's in the field with my boy.

First day of them being together today and when I went to bring my boy out for a groom this other horse galloped right at him and I nearly got trampled by my shocked horse.

Nothings been right at this livery since I arrived. I just haven't settled. To make it worse this new horse ran at my boy earlier, my boy slipped and went down which shocked me. He's fine but he's my first horse and I worry.

Am I just being a wuss about everything? His last field mate was lovely but he had to move so now I've got this devil horse to contend with.

So questions are - am I being a wuss? How long would you give yourself to settle at a new yard? Do you think this maniac horse will calm down? What would you do if you were feeling like me?

Thank you.
 
you need to toughen up a bit. I don't mean to sound harsh but see the horse off before it charges at yours. Use your body language to stop it in it's tracks. If it still keeps coming then speak to the yard and ask them to do something
 
Hiya.

First of all, stop telling yourself you're being a wuss :) It can take months for humans and horses to settle somewhere new, so give yourself a chance.

As for the other horse, the best thing you can do is explain your worries to your yard owner and ask for help in resolving the situation. If you are fearing for you and your horses safety in a situation, then you need to have it sorted, so talk to someone who can help.

Give it time, get help, hopefully it can be sorted. If not, there is always the option to move, but try to resolve the problem first.
 
Hi, if your horses is been knocked over in the field by this other horse, first thing is to request he gets an alternative feildmate. Its dangerous and could result in your horse getting serious injuries.

If your really not happy at your yard it may not be the place for you, you dont say if its a big livery yard or a small private place, but you may not be suited to one kind of yard. Personally i lik big place lots of people to have a good chinwag ect, but that can be somebody elses idea of hell!!! Same as i would get bored on a small place. If you really insettled, maybe go and see some other places in the area and see how you feel when viewing them.
 
I would speak to the YO owner about perhaps having a different horse in with your boy and express your concerns. If you still don't feel right there then maybe look elsewhere - is it just the issue with the other horse that's making you feel unsettled?
 
Oh you poor thing! Don't let anyone tell you you're a wuss. It sounds like you're nervous of this other horse with good reason.

When I moved my mare to her current yard, she seemed to be bullied in the field at first. But within a few days she'd settled and she's fine now. You might find you and your horse settle too, but meanwhile, I would talk to the yard owner, or someone in charge. You pay for your livery and have a right to express your concerns.

I think I'd try to avoid going alone into the field while you feel afraid of this other horse. Is there someone more confident who could go with you?

You're not a wuss. Horses are BIG. It's natural to feel nervous if they're bad-mannered or seem physically threatening.
 
No you are not being a wuss... its just that owning your first horse can be very frightening. Its true that horses feel their handlers anxiety or fear and i think its true that it unsettles them. My horse would be flying round the field like a loony for at least three to four days and would not settle into his new surroundings for many many weeks after a move.
spend as much time as you can with your horse and get to know him and feel confident handling him on the ground... before moving on to ridden work.
Its also an idea not to bad mouth the other horse in case his owner is on here... and also no one can predict how two horses will react to each other until they are together.
good luck with your new boy... it takes time to get a good bond going but it is really really worth it in the end.
 
No you're not being a wuss, but the other horse?? is it really the devil?

We have 2 horses in together and both in love with each other, but take the older one in first and the younger (5 yr old) will run at his mate and rear up and stand on him, its very very dangerous, but its just play and excitement, so we now always get the other one in first,or takea whip and warn youngster.

So I suppose I am asking if its excitment and playfulness or sheer aggression?xx
 
I have just moved and still feel a bit lost. Basically they dont like only one horse out at a time, so when im working I muck out at 0545 on but dont turn out, as leave YO to do so. Same with bringing if im up a bit late 1900ish she is sometimes in already. YO says don't worry shes easy to do etc but I do worry I look like im taking the P**s being the new girl on a small yard (First thing I did was give my shift patterns etc).


I think you just both need time. I would ask your YO to help you bring in your horse, if she knows your a first time owner im sure shes willing to help you and give you some pointers. The new horse will prob settle soon anyway sounds like a nutty youngster.

If you really dont feel happy MOVE. Your paying out a lot of money for a hobby you need to enjoy it.
 
Thanks for your replies.

I'm very very tired so a little more sensative then usual!

This horse was well out of the way when I was leading my boy and then he was just suddenly there charging.

It's a big yard but with mostly grass liveries and the horses are only there as one way to make money on the fields. There's lots of other stuff going on there aswell. Caravans shops etc. I actually really like that aspect. Most people keep themselves to themselves and get on with things - right up my street!

I'll give it some time and talk to the field sharer before I go to the yard owner. I'm starting to think the best option would be to split the field in half and have half each. It's a very big field.
However the main reason this sharer wanted to share was so her horse would no longer be alone and keeping my boy alone is not my first option either.

So toughen up yes? One more incident though and I think I may have some sort of minor breakdown. I've had nothing but trouble here so far! I just want to enjoy my horse!
 
I've not been happy at my livery yard since I got my boy only a few weeks ago.
Nothings been right at this livery since I arrived.


The above says it all to me tbh :) If you feel like that from the very beginning it is highly unlikely your feelings will change...I suggest you have a look round and find something you are happy with,because if you are not happy and settled your new horse certainly wont be :(...You need to be happy on a yard and feel comfortable xx
 
BayLove said:
Thanks for your replies.

I'm very very tired so a little more sensative then usual!

This horse was well out of the way when I was leading my boy and then he was just suddenly there charging.

It's a big yard but with mostly grass liveries and the horses are only there as one way to make money on the fields. There's lots of other stuff going on there aswell. Caravans shops etc. I actually really like that aspect. Most people keep themselves to themselves and get on with things - right up my street!

I'll give it some time and talk to the field sharer before I go to the yard owner. I'm starting to think the best option would be to split the field in half and have half each. It's a very big field.
However the main reason this sharer wanted to share was so her horse would no longer be alone and keeping my boy alone is not my first option either.

So toughen up yes? One more incident though and I think I may have some sort of minor breakdown. I've had nothing but trouble here so far! I just want to enjoy my horse!
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Hmmm difficult isnt it? I must say its perfectly normal for horses to be apart in the field and you go to take one in and the other comes galloping over like a loopy thing in panic at being left.... thats fine if their both your horses, but annoying when you only own one! They may well settle down and get used to being left alone.
 
JessHakner said:
I would speak to the YO owner about perhaps having a different horse in with your boy and express your concerns. If you still don't feel right there then maybe look elsewhere - is it just the issue with the other horse that's making you feel unsettled?
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Unfortunatley that's not the only reason I've not settled. I've had some real trouble with the previous field share. As she was there first she saw it as her field and I was told if I don't do things her way I need to leave! I went to the yard owner with that and this is how I've now got this new horse sharing the field. The previous lady was moved out of the field and this new one moved in.

It's been nothing but stressful right from the start! Everyone else there has a field to themselves so no other horses to swap over. They all want to keep their own fields.
 
FionaM12 said:
Oh you poor thing! Don't let anyone tell you you're a wuss. It sounds like you're nervous of this other horse with good reason.

When I moved my mare to her current yard, she seemed to be bullied in the field at first. But within a few days she'd settled and she's fine now. You might find you and your horse settle too, but meanwhile, I would talk to the yard owner, or someone in charge. You pay for your livery and have a right to express your concerns.

I think I'd try to avoid going alone into the field while you feel afraid of this other horse. Is there someone more confident who could go with you?

You're not a wuss. Horses are BIG. It's natural to feel nervous if they're bad-mannered or seem physically threatening.
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Thank you. I've got someone to come down with me but I really shouldn't need it. I just want to be able to enjoy my horse!

luckyoldme said:
No you are not being a wuss... its just that owning your first horse can be very frightening. Its true that horses feel their handlers anxiety or fear and i think its true that it unsettles them. My horse would be flying round the field like a loony for at least three to four days and would not settle into his new surroundings for many many weeks after a move.
spend as much time as you can with your horse and get to know him and feel confident handling him on the ground... before moving on to ridden work.
Its also an idea not to bad mouth the other horse in case his owner is on here... and also no one can predict how two horses will react to each other until they are together.
good luck with your new boy... it takes time to get a good bond going but it is really really worth it in the end.
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Oh I'm fine with my horse no problem with him at all he's so good. He was very happy and settled, of course he's got to settle again now with this change. My boy and I have bonded beautifully, I'm very confident with him. It's just this new horse running at me, It was very scary. I know my boy wouldn't hurt me but he was just as shocked as me bless him!

Devonshire dumpling said:
No you're not being a wuss, but the other horse?? is it really the devil?

We have 2 horses in together and both in love with each other, but take the older one in first and the younger (5 yr old) will run at his mate and rear up and stand on him, its very very dangerous, but its just play and excitement, so we now always get the other one in first,or takea whip and warn youngster.

So I suppose I am asking if its excitment and playfulness or sheer aggression?xx
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No of course he's not a devil! He's actually a really sweet lovely horse just more horse then I can handle hence why I bought a nice quiet one! Calling him a devil is just my sense of humour and trying to make light of it.

I have no idea what it was. I'm inclined to say excitement? but he was hearding my boy around earlier so I'm not really sure? I don't think he was being aggressive as such.
 
BayLove said:
Thank you. I've got someone to come down with me but I really shouldn't need it. I just want to be able to enjoy my horse!



Oh I'm fine with my horse no problem with him at all he's so good. He was very happy and settled, of course he's got to settle again now with this change. My boy and I have bonded beautifully, I'm very confident with him. It's just this new horse running at me, It was very scary. I know my boy wouldn't hurt me but he was just as shocked as me bless him!



No of course he's not a devil! He's actually a really sweet lovely horse just more horse then I can handle hence why I bought a nice quiet one! Calling him a devil is just my sense of humour and trying to make light of it.

I have no idea what it was. I'm inclined to say excitement? but he was hearding my boy around earlier so I'm not really sure? I don't think he was being aggressive as such.
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Sorry I took you literally, which is weird cos i got an evil sense of humour haha.... maybe some sort of pecking order going on, will end up with a big dingdong or your chap will be naturally more submissive, seems a pain tho!! xx
 
Toffee44 said:
I have just moved and still feel a bit lost. Basically they dont like only one horse out at a time, so when im working I muck out at 0545 on but dont turn out, as leave YO to do so. Same with bringing if im up a bit late 1900ish she is sometimes in already. YO says don't worry shes easy to do etc but I do worry I look like im taking the P**s being the new girl on a small yard (First thing I did was give my shift patterns etc).


I think you just both need time. I would ask your YO to help you bring in your horse, if she knows your a first time owner im sure shes willing to help you and give you some pointers. The new horse will prob settle soon anyway sounds like a nutty youngster.

If you really dont feel happy MOVE. Your paying out a lot of money for a hobby you need to enjoy it.
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It's a constant worry isn't it?! Having a horse is hard! :)
Yard owner isn't that hands on. It's not a proper livery yard more a farm renting out fields.

I've calmed down a bit now. Feeling a bit better. I hope they will sort out their new little herd soon and it will all fall into place.

This horse is actually a fair bit older then mine and mines only a baby yet! You'd never know, you'd think it was the other way around!
 
hadfos said:
I've not been happy at my livery yard since I got my boy only a few weeks ago.
Nothings been right at this livery since I arrived.


The above says it all to me tbh :) If you feel like that from the very beginning it is highly unlikely your feelings will change...I suggest you have a look round and find something you are happy with,because if you are not happy and settled your new horse certainly wont be :(...You need to be happy on a yard and feel comfortable xx
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I actually really like the place! I had some trouble with previous field sharer which made life difficult but everyone else is so lovely and so helpful, I'd hate to leave. The owners are lovely too and my boy has a huge field. I'm very lucky. I guess I just haven't had a proper chance to settle and was hoping this new horse moving in would be the end of the bad stuff - and then he ran at me and I'm having an 'Is it ever going to be ok?' moment! My lovely boy settled straight away which was a relief, it's just me that hasn't. x

Devonshire dumpling said:
Hmmm difficult isnt it? I must say its perfectly normal for horses to be apart in the field and you go to take one in and the other comes galloping over like a loopy thing in panic at being left.... thats fine if their both your horses, but annoying when you only own one! They may well settle down and get used to being left alone.
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I'm sure I'm over reacting. It's been such a busy day with the horses and i'm shattered and everything seems like the end of the world when I'm tired. The more I think about it the more I'm sure he wasn't being aggressive just over excited and showing off maybe. But as said before horses are big and strong and I really don't need one running at me and my horse when I'm trying to take him out! I'm hoping they will settle down. I'm being impatient I know I am.

Devonshire dumpling said:
Sorry I took you literally, which is weird cos i got an evil sense of humour haha.... maybe some sort of pecking order going on, will end up with a big dingdong or your chap will be naturally more submissive, seems a pain tho!! xx
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Ha ha no problem. My sense of humour gets me in so much trouble but I never seem to learn :rolleyes: I'm sure there's going to be a big change for my boy. He's used to being top horse but with this new one I don't think he's going to be! Either way I hope they sort it out soon and stop putting me in the middle of their tiffs! x
 
No you aren't a wuss - a horse charging at you can be quite frightening particularly, when you don't even know your own horse very well yet.

Personally, having had my horse in a field with only one horse in the past I would never do it again. Firstly, they can get clingy with each other which means moving one away from the other can get difficult.

I'm sorry you're unhappy at your livery yard, it takes a while to settle on a new yard with a horse you know so, with a new horse it will take longer.
Don't be afraid to ask for help and mention to the YO about the other horse which also sounds unsettled.

Good luck :)
 
Tiffany said:
No you aren't a wuss - a horse charging at you can be quite frightening particularly, when you don't even know your own horse very well yet.

Personally, having had my horse in a field with only one horse in the past I would never do it again. Firstly, they can get clingy with each other which means moving one away from the other can get difficult.

I'm sorry you're unhappy at your livery yard, it takes a while to settle on a new yard with a horse you know so, with a new horse it will take longer.
Don't be afraid to ask for help and mention to the YO about the other horse which also sounds unsettled.

Good luck :)
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Thank you. I've calmed myself down now :o will give it time and try and be more assertive with the other horse. Hoping I'll settle in soon :)
 
sorry, i havent anything very useful to say apart from i also agree with one of the first posters that said try to use your body language and if this horse charges around you wave your arms in the air like a wild thing and shout 'NO".!

you could also ask the horse's owner if he's always like that then you know if this is along term issue with this horse or its just them both settling in phase

whatever, you sound like you could do with a hug so here's a virtual one from me and goodluck with it.
It'll come right,. you'll see. ;)

Settling n new places is always a massive heachache :)
 
I think most people have probably been in your shoes at one time or another - I certainly have! I have had the nutty/over excited/bad mannered field 'pals' and had the problem of leading a new, excited mare through various fields of geldings. It can be a pain - I used to have my horse on a long rope and swing the other end at the offending horse who soon scooted off.
I'd split your field if you can. I have three horses and one field. At different points it gets altered to suit our needs. I have a fat cob who can only go in with my chestnut mare when she doesn't need to put on weight or the grass is longer (with a muzzle) and I have another mare who is constantly kept apart as she can only be friendly over the fence - she boots them otherwise! They don't seem to suffer when separate and can still have a scratch over the tape.
 
lula said:
sorry, i havent anything very useful to say apart from i also agree with one of the first posters that said try to use your body language and if this horse charges around you wave your arms in the air like a wild thing and shout 'NO".!

you could also ask the horse's owner if he's always like that then you know if this is along term issue with this horse or its just them both settling in phase

whatever, you sound like you could do with a hug so here's a virtual one from me and goodluck with it.
It'll come right,. you'll see. ;)

Settling n new places is always a massive heachache :)
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Thank you. I'm sure it will settle down it was just a bit (read VERY!) unnerving!

WeeBrown said:
I think most people have probably been in your shoes at one time or another - I certainly have! I have had the nutty/over excited/bad mannered field 'pals' and had the problem of leading a new, excited mare through various fields of geldings. It can be a pain - I used to have my horse on a long rope and swing the other end at the offending horse who soon scooted off.
I'd split your field if you can. I have three horses and one field. At different points it gets altered to suit our needs. I have a fat cob who can only go in with my chestnut mare when she doesn't need to put on weight or the grass is longer (with a muzzle) and I have another mare who is constantly kept apart as she can only be friendly over the fence - she boots them otherwise! They don't seem to suffer when separate and can still have a scratch over the tape.
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Thank you. Keeping the field split in mind just incase it's needed!
 
We were at one yard where the YM actually thought it was funny to put their 'devil horse' out with newbies and watch the fireworks. Very unkind to all concerned.

You could try penning the gate area off so when you go to get yours you just undo the end of the tape and let him into the closed off bit. Then you can shut out the other horse and deal quietly and calmly with your own.

You could also ask the other horses owner to go with you and help you. He/she may not appreciate how difficult it really is, and even if they do then they will be flattered to be asked for help and advice and might be more helpful in the future.

Good luck and keep safe.
 
When I first got my gelding, 7 years ago now, he was in a field of 9 geldings and the bottom of the pack. It was a nightmare getting him and out of the field and every time there was some sort of drama. I, like you, was very nervous about it all and dreaded him in from the field. This was my first horse too and all I can say with now the benefit of experience, you need to portray confidence and a no nonsense approach to this horse.
I would take an extra lead rope out with you and when this horse comes towards you, hold it in a loop and wave it at him (not smacking or touching him), use a very strong tone to your voice like shouting "away" and use strong body language. You are the boss and you not tolerating this horse over you. I am sure doing this a few times will show who is the boss and I'm sure it will calm down, especially if they haven't been together very long.
 
Ladyinred said:
You could try penning the gate area off so when you go to get yours you just undo the end of the tape and let him into the closed off bit. Then you can shut out the other horse and deal quietly and calmly with your own.

Good luck and keep safe.
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so agree with this, i do this in most of my paddocks as my gelding is always right up the mares butt and it can be a real juggling act to get one out of the gate without the other following:rolleyes: with the pen you have a 'safe' area around the gate, stops the gateway getting mashed as well:)
I would wait a few days to see if the new horse settles, if not and you still feel threatened by it then talk to the other owner about splitting the field, the horses will still have company but it will make life easier:)
 
I had EXACTLY the same problem, but now I have no problem ;)

When I would go to catch-up my 4 year old mare, I had a 2 year old and an older gelding galloping around. On several occasions after they had galloped up beside my mare and tried to ram her (probably all in good fun to them) she would then spin or take-off with me still attached to the lead rope! I remember feeling exactly as you do a few months ago. The first couple of times I felt like crying, felt a bit silly not being able to cope with 2 boisterous horses. The way I delt with it was a combination of improving my mare's manners, and showing those 2 geldings that I meant business! I used to arrive at the field wearing my hat and gloves, and carrying a lunge whip! It only took two catch-ups after that for them to back off. The now don't come anywhere near me when I collect my mare :D

N.B Being timid will get you nowhere.
 
I know what people are saying about its a new horse, and toughen up etc. Rbut if you're not happy so much that its bringing you to tears, then maybe there is other niggling stuff, and you should move yards. Even only because it'll make you feel better. What is the point of carrying on if its going to upset you? And make you dislike your very expensive hobby. X
 
The new horse is prob unsettled and panics when you take your boy out, give him time and be assertive towards him. My horse is the stressy devil type and used to panic big time, how he never caused himself an injury I don't know ! But I can now put him out first and whilst he isn't happy about it, he doesn't lose the plot anymore.
You are going through a big change, new horse, new yard etc, it can seem abit overwhelming when somethings not going right but at least you like your yard :), I hated my first yard, new first horse was stressing at time and it was a truly awful time for me, thought if this was what owning a horse meant, what the h*ll had I let my self in for?
Have a word with the other horses owner and see if this behaviour is long running or just because of moving. X
 
Me and a friend used to share a field until YO put his horses out with ours.
If she went to bring her 2 in, and went to leave mine out she would go mental and charge. Fine once you caught her, absolute dope on a rope.
Same with my friends horses.
We had to bring in all 3 at once or they would charge about and go loopy. (Yes I used to lead in 3 horses at once...)
Some horses can't cope with being left on their own and once realise you are taking their friend away, they come galloping up to you, often ending up your horse's bum!
To me if this is the case the YO should put the horse out with a different horse, on a similar routine, unless you and the horses owner are willing to sort out some routine whereby you meet at the yard at the same time and bring them in together and ride etc?
Izzi :)
 
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