Livery offered for her friend to ride my horse?!

[NellRosk]

So a while back I was musing to a fellow livery on getting someone to ride R a few times a week as he wasn't getting all the exercise he needs whilst I concentrate on my youngster. But then I said I didn't think I'd be able to cope with someone else riding him as I'm very precious over my 2 and only let my mum/ close friend/ trusted YO ride them.

Fast forward to yesterday and she approached me saying her friend was looking for a horse to ride and she'd said we could all go out for a hack next weekend with her friend riding R!? She said it so matter of fact and put me in a corner and I just kind of stuttered, didn't say yes or no. Then that afternoon I got a text saying her friend could come up and school him this wed!??! I just replied saying I'd decided against anyone riding him for the time being. And she was a bit off with me in her reply.

I'm just a little taken aback she presumed her friend could ride my beloved horse without even asking me then got funny with me when I said no?! I hope she's not off with me tonight as I really cba with the aggro. Some people eh!

 

[WelshD]

Maybe explain that you were a bit taken aback and that your musings were just that

If it of interest though maybe ask about the friend - she may be ideal, you never know

 

[sam_]

I had a similar problem with a good friend of mine that i trusted with my two boys, i had left in charge of my two when i went away on holiday, i had told her just to hack them for the week and that's all fine. When i got back from my holiday i discovered that she had hacked my horses which is great but then i found out she had her sister up one day and a two of her other friends up to hack out with her on MY horses! Like you i'm very precious about my horses and considering her sister is very novicey and my horses really aren't novice rides i was absolutely livid! When i confronted her about it, she seriously believed she had done no wrong! Anything could have happened!

 

[dianchi]

Guess she thought she was solving your problem for you, although her delivery wasn't ideal!

 

[EmmaB]

She should have came to you and said oh I know of someone whos looking for a horse to ride, if you still want your horse riding. She shouldn't have just decided for you without you even knowing this girl!

 

[Archangel]

There seems to be a spate of pushy people taking the mick at the moment.
No need for you to feel uncomfortable or feel you have to explain.
If you have thought it over and don't want to do it, that's OK. You might want to take the friend's number and discuss it further with her and not just fast forward to friend having a jolly on your horse.
It pays to be clear and firm.

 

[Hoof_Prints]

Some people are so cheeky ! But I think you handled it well given the situation. I had someone message me yesterday telling me that they'd though about having my horse on loan...

Im sorry.. what?!

apart from the fact she can hardly ride and my horse is an experienced ride, he is not and never will be up for loan, I don't like her and never speak to her! The mind boggles... I also wouldn't worry about her being 'off' with you, you were not in the wrong at all and gave them a straight answer without being rude.

 

[NellRosk]

Maybe explain that you were a bit taken aback and that your musings were just that

If it of interest though maybe ask about the friend - she may be ideal, you never know

I had kind of decided against the idea, seemed more trouble than it was worth and I'd only want him riding when I was there and it would be unreasonable for someone to fit around my bizarre schedule!

I had a similar problem with a good friend of mine that i trusted with my two boys, i had left in charge of my two when i went away on holiday, i had told her just to hack them for the week and that's all fine. When i got back from my holiday i discovered that she had hacked my horses which is great but then i found out she had her sister up one day and a two of her other friends up to hack out with her on MY horses! Like you i'm very precious about my horses and considering her sister is very novicey and my horses really aren't novice rides i was absolutely livid! When i confronted her about it, she seriously believed she had done no wrong! Anything could have happened!

How annoying and just the kind of thing that I dread!

Guess she thought she was solving your problem for you, although her delivery wasn't ideal!

No it was very abrupt and presumptuous and I'm just a little bemused by it all!

She should have came to you and said oh I know of someone whos looking for a horse to ride, if you still want your horse riding. She shouldn't have just decided for you without you even knowing this girl!

Nice to know I'm not being unreasonable, this is what I would have done if it was someone else's horse!

There seems to be a spate of pushy people taking the mick at the moment.
No need for you to feel uncomfortable or feel you have to explain.
If you have thought it over and don't want to do it, that's OK. You might want to take the friend's number and discuss it further with her and not just fast forward to friend having a jolly on your horse.
It pays to be clear and firm.

Thanks, you've just worded exactly what I was thinking. I guess she is trying to help but went completely the wrong way about it, if I'd wanted her help I'd have asked for it.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

This is just a suggestion, hypothetically, if/when you see her this evening, maybe you could say something like being sorry if she misunderstood your musing, as that you had decided to find someone to help you ride R, and that you understand that she thought she had solved your problem, but that you still need some more time to think about if this is the right solution for you and R.

Maybe some of it would be white lies, e.g. perhaps she didn't have a thought about solving your problem, without did it for some other reason. And since you did say that you didn't think you'd be able to cope with someone else riding him, she shouldn't really have misunderstood you, but either way, if you want to avoid any hard feelings, maybe it is worth a few white lies?

 

[NellRosk]

Some people are so cheeky ! But I think you handled it well given the situation. I had someone message me yesterday telling me that they'd though about having my horse on loan...

Im sorry.. what?!

apart from the fact she can hardly ride and my horse is an experienced ride, he is not and never will be up for loan, I don't like her and never speak to her! The mind boggles... I also wouldn't worry about her being 'off' with you, you were not in the wrong at all and gave them a straight answer without being rude.

How kind of them to casually say they're loaning your horse when you've never asked for their input!

Thanks, I just feel a little awkward about the whole situation. Wish people wouldn't get involved

 

[NellRosk]

This is just a suggestion, hypothetically, if/when you see her this evening, maybe you could say something like being sorry if she misunderstood your musing, as that you had decided to find someone to help you ride R, and that you understand that she thought she had solved your problem, but that you still need some more time to think about if this is the right solution for you and R.

Maybe some of it would be white lies, e.g. perhaps she didn't have a thought about solving your problem, without did it for some other reason. And since you did say that you didn't think you'd be able to cope with someone else riding him, she shouldn't really have misunderstood you, but either way, if you want to avoid any hard feelings, maybe it is worth a few white lies?

Yeah, I was thinking of telling a few white lies and kind of turn it round on me (although I don't see why I should have to!). He's recently had his shoes off so might say he's a bit footy and don't want anyone else riding him for the time being, then in a few months she might have forgotten about all this.