Livery Stereotypes (JFF)

ROFL :D

The d/stressage queen

Faltworks all of the time, hogs the school, lunges constantly, wont hack 'as its beneath us', always having lessons, and boxing off here and there.
But in actual fact you only ever see trotting, and never hear of any reults, and rides like pap!!


The lunge adict

Always lungeing horse, and lungeing horse and lungeing horse, has all of the get up, horse looks great moves well, but will never do anything as wont ride.


The confidence zapper

Lulls you inot a false sense of security, by offering help, and seems knowledgeable but then slowly zaps your confidence away bit by bit, just to boost their own ego, and leaves you feeling like an idiot :D


so glad I dont have to do yards anymore, but >sigh< am missing all of these types :D
 
Oooo-er one more (not from my current yard I might add!) The moron who refuses to geld because A) Stallions have better necks, B) He MIGHT be bred from some day, C) Its not nice to do that to the poor horsie! D) the horse WANTS to live a natural life (in a stable) without human medical intervention and/or E) the horse has STUNNING bloodlines and therefore MUST have babies because there aren't enough numpties with passable stallions out there who can't/won't control them.

Seen door-kicking with no turn out in hock-deep poop because owner too scared to go in stall and horse not allowed to go out on a livery yard when I was looking for a place for Mojo!!!
 
You have missed off the horror of horrors THE PONY CLUB MUMMY! Before I go any further I am one myself, but being branch secretary, have observed the best and worst of it, and moderate behaviour accordingly - well I hope I do. They seem to come in several varieties, all of which are pretty horrible, but all seem to dress the same way - long, dishevelled hair, scaggy tracksuit bottoms, wellies and an equally scaggy jumper. Have loud, very posh voices, drive a very battered old 4 x 4 and tow an equally battered trailer, even though they are ususally pretty wealthy and could drive a rather lovely lorry if they so wished. The child never has to lift a finger as PC mummy tacks up pony, plaits it, grooms it etc. Gets very competitive around this time of the year when Area teams are being chosen and training taking place, spends hours on the phone to DC and team trainers trying to justify why their child should be on the team. Doesnt go to work, but is always 'Too busy' running around their brood of children to come to any yard socials.

I could go on and on, but its pretty horrifying.
 
There is also the dare devil rider (not) whose horse is well behaved and bidable but to hear it's rider is the devil incarnate, VERY difficult to ride, requires enormous skill and would kill anyone else on the yard!!!! Only they can tame it!!!!!!

We have one of those and wonders why folk do not hack out with her!!!
 
Box_Of_Frogs said:
Then there's the Mother Bird Syndrome livery. She has a heart of gold but has a genetic disease whereby every time she sees a waif or stray, she needs to feed it and care for it. This has resulted in the number of horses/ponies she owns increasing every year. She is responsible for the yard acquiring a cat and 2 Lost Homing Pigeons. She cried when the fox killed her favourite chicken but would take an orphaned fox cub home tomorrow. Because she can't "feed" other liveries, she resorts to sly subterfuge to buy rugs to give to their horses. She has been spotted carefully nudging caterpillars onto a leaf so she can move them out of harm's way and rumour has it she gets down on her (creaky) knees to feed cold and exhausted bumble bees teaspoons of warm sugar syrup. She carries stranded earthworms to new patches of soil, carefully juggling them from hand to hand because she read that the warmth of a human hand will kill an earthworm. The other liveries tolerate her quirks (ahem) but quietly think she's as mad as a box of frogs lol x
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:D:D:D
 
lucille said:
The "I had one that did that" one
wether your horse is winning a foxhunter, rearing verticle, escaping from the stable, singing the alphabet backwards, they had one that did it first/ better/ higher/ worse. :DSometimes, if you have had enough horses, over a long enough period of time it seems like you have had one that did this, that and a lot of the other... Talking of reciting the alphabet backwards.........;)

Then theres the whole pony club mum thing. needs no explination tbh, everyone knows one x
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Totally unfair to PC Mums, without PC Mums and Dads in many cases (not all admittedly, as Secretary I've seen a fair cross section) there would be no PC at all. Sorry, but I take huge exception to that line every time I read it:mad:
 
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Ohh I have another one the novice/ un horsey parents. Loves the pony but dosent really know what to do, the kid does all the hard work with the pony. Has an understanding with said pony where pony behaves but knows it has the upper hand. Always has treats for all the horses but is to scared to feed certain horses so gets some one else to.
 
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