Livery woes (long post sorry)

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Nay

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Ok so let me explain! I run a small private livery yard in a gorgeous spot in the West Country, and I have 2 full liveries and 1 DIY. One of the fulls is fine, I barely see her as she's so busy with work, the other one is becoming a bit difficult. It's a mother daughter share, the daughter seems to think she is gods gift to horses and the mother just kind of tags along, she rides but is nervous. Anyway they can't seem to do anything together without it escalating into a blazing argument, and they use fowl language to each other. I've told them to stop doing this is it's my home and I don't wish for my 12 year old daughter to listen to it either. The other week, they had driven their car down onto my yard and were washing it with my hose, am I being unreasonable in thinking this is really cheeky? There are lots of other little things too which I won't bore you with!

The DIY isn't really DIY! She has 2 horses, one of which is 3 years old. He's a lovely young chap but I feel sorry for him. He wears the same rug for anything up to 4 weeks at a time, he's never groomed, never taken for a walk or anything. She just turns up in the morning when it suits, normally I've turned them out myself by this point as it's getting on for 11am some mornings. But even when they are still in she just turns them out, and doesn't do anything with either of them. She then does a half muck out, and leaves again. Her 2 kids run riot everywhere and sometimes chase my chickens, again I've mentioned this to her but she says boys will be boys. Evening times she never comes up to bring her horses in, ever! She's been here 2 years and hasn't once come up to do evening duties. When I mentioned about having to charge a small fee, her husband came up and had a go at me. I guess because I live here, and am bringing in my own horses, then that's fine as I'll just bring in hers too.

I'm sorry for the long post but it's getting me down a little now. I guess the moral of the story is, is that having friends as liveries doesn't work, as they don't respect you enough. Has anyone else found this too?
 
Simple! Give them both notice. Your property your rules. Yes, it won't be pleasant and I read that they are friends, however, friends would respect your rules, these people obviously don't, so in my eyes they are not friends. I would get rid.
 
I'm sorry but you need to man up here and GET RID of this nightmare person. You have to take some responsibility here for allowing this to develop into the situation you now find yourself in. It's your home for goodness sake, how dare they treat you this way! It beggars belief TBH that you have put up with it so long. Please don't put up with this any longer, you will I'm sure have no problem replacing them if that's what your worried about. Good luck!
 
Yes I'm just too bloomin nice! My husband tells me off for being too kind to people who just take advantage of my nice nature! It's a shame that people do that, but that's people for you I guess. Time to get real!! 💪
 
Personally I would write them a formal letter explaining that if DIY then what the extra costs are for turnout/in and other extras, explain in the letter that this will be enforced from XX date and will be added to future livery invoices from that date onwards. Include a copy of the yard rules and also out a copy up on the yard.

If you are still unhappy that they are not complying with the rules then serve them notice, as you say it is your home and they should respect that. However I do think that you have to also understand that whilst it is your home it is also a business that you are running and you do need to take into consideration that what you deem to be acceptable language etc is not necessarily going to be the same for all.

Good Luck
 
I have a similar problem which I fear is going the same way. One friend who I have known for donkey's years, my husband always said she would be a nightmare but I felt obliged to make room for her when she moved locally with her horse. She pays very late, borrows everything around, expects that I will do her horse as she works fulltime. I am freelance, so yes I work from home and can be flexible with regard my own horses but it doesn't mean I have loads of time. She has left great piles of her own rubbish on the yard for weeks which I have asked her to clear away herself as I don't have a collection, but she has continued to leave it there. It's all small stuff but it adds up to someone who is more trouble than they are worth... however I just can't ask her to leave because I have known her so long. Grrrrrrrrr!
 
Forget telling yourself you are "being nice". You're being a doormat. Tell them you are stopping doing livery end of Feb and they willl have over a month to find somewhere else. Replace with new ones and don't take any nonsense from the get go.
 
You need to establish boundaries and stand up for your self .
Unless you have nerves of steel you will struggle to retrain these troublesome liverys
So I would serve notice on one you pick which one I think I would choose the dippy DIY as if you good grazing you will find another DIY no trouble .
You really need to stand up for your self if the husband had a go at me I would have told him straight his wife's horse care standards are poor, too poor for this yard and unless she gets a grip you will telling her to leave .
Why on earth are you acting as an unpaid groom for someone whose thinks it ok to send her OH up to gave a go at go at you
Next time the others fight and swear stand up for your self and take that out onto the road or stop it .
I think you left it too long to do anything about the car washing unless it was this weekend if it was just tell the mother straight no car washing you pay for horse livery nothing more and be firm no made excuses why you don't want it just the fact no car washing full stop.
You can't be in two camps it is your home but that's not the point these people are buying a service from you be clear what that service is and be clear you will terminate the service if they don't toe the line .
TBH the best thing might be to clear the two bad ones and start again like badly behaved horses children and dogs it's will be much harder to amend behaviour you have allowed to develop than to set ground rules with new cilents .
 
Abacus said:
I have a similar problem which I fear is going the same way. One friend who I have known for donkey's years, my husband always said she would be a nightmare but I felt obliged to make room for her when she moved locally with her horse. She pays very late, borrows everything around, expects that I will do her horse as she works fulltime. I am freelance, so yes I work from home and can be flexible with regard my own horses but it doesn't mean I have loads of time. She has left great piles of her own rubbish on the yard for weeks which I have asked her to clear away herself as I don't have a collection, but she has continued to leave it there. It's all small stuff but it adds up to someone who is more trouble than they are worth... however I just can't ask her to leave because I have known her so long. Grrrrrrrrr!
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You can you know .
And you can also take the rubbish and put it in front of her car next time she's on the yard.
 
They sound deeply unpleasant in every way. Serve notice and if you decide to have another livery set out clear rules of horse care beforehand with charges and take no nonsense. There are some nice liverys out there who won't take advantage honest :)
 
Looking at it a another way,I'd be pretty annoyed if I found out someone was getting a similar service to me and only paying DIY rates!
I'd put a notice up/send a letter to liveries outlining what their price includes and how much the extras are. The DIY person isn't be fair to anyone by expecting services for free.
Agree, you're not being nice, you are being a doormat!
 
Nay said:
Ok so let me explain! I run a small private livery yard in a gorgeous spot in the West Country, and I have 2 full liveries and 1 DIY. One of the fulls is fine, I barely see her as she's so busy with work, the other one is becoming a bit difficult. It's a mother daughter share, the daughter seems to think she is gods gift to horses and the mother just kind of tags along, she rides but is nervous. Anyway they can't seem to do anything together without it escalating into a blazing argument, and they use fowl language to each other. I've told them to stop doing this is it's my home and I don't wish for my 12 year old daughter to listen to it either. The other week, they had driven their car down onto my yard and were washing it with my hose, am I being unreasonable in thinking this is really cheeky? There are lots of other little things too which I won't bore you with!

The DIY isn't really DIY! She has 2 horses, one of which is 3 years old. He's a lovely young chap but I feel sorry for him. He wears the same rug for anything up to 4 weeks at a time, he's never groomed, never taken for a walk or anything. She just turns up in the morning when it suits, normally I've turned them out myself by this point as it's getting on for 11am some mornings. But even when they are still in she just turns them out, and doesn't do anything with either of them. She then does a half muck out, and leaves again. Her 2 kids run riot everywhere and sometimes chase my chickens, again I've mentioned this to her but she says boys will be boys. Evening times she never comes up to bring her horses in, ever! She's been here 2 years and hasn't once come up to do evening duties. When I mentioned about having to charge a small fee, her husband came up and had a go at me. I guess because I live here, and am bringing in my own horses, then that's fine as I'll just bring in hers too.

I'm sorry for the long post but it's getting me down a little now. I guess the moral of the story is, is that having friends as liveries doesn't work, as they don't respect you enough. Has anyone else found this too?
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They are taking the p**s simple.

I wouldn't dream of not paying for t/o or b/I and I think I pay a fair amount to the staff at the weekend when we have a private agreement between us as the yard doesn't do this service at weekends any more.

I can't imagine not turning up to turn out or bringing in my boy, if I've not made an arrangement for this to be done. Tell them £2 each way for turnout/bring in or get shot of them. It's sad the three year old doesn't nothing as is basically stagnating. But unfortunately in a nice way, this is none of your business, hard as it is to see I know.
 
I cannot believe you have put up with this for two years! I would have handed them notice when the husband had a go, the cheeky *******! Get rid and have a contract with new livery with clearly written rules and a warning that breaking the rules will result in notice being given.
 
Get standard contracts drawn up, say its for your insurance . .also put the rent up! . . and hide that hose pipe! . .

There are ways to get people to go, without confrontation.

The words, cruel to be kind come to mind! . .
 
Nay said:
Thank you all for your replies, I know what I need to do, toughen up, and get them to shape up or ship out!
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I'd skip the shape up stage and go straight to ship out! They won't change. They might improve for a few weeks and then it will all slide again. Get rid, get in some new people if you so choose and have a watertight contract and a list of rules in place from the get-go. The horsey world is full of people like your liveries I'm afraid. They are parasites, pure and simple.
 
I used to have a small livery yard at my home yes I had a couple of lovely ones over the years but also some awful ones needless to say I have one pony livery here now & life is an awful lot easier
 
I have a similar set up where I can rent stables to liveries and they are at my home, I have mainly just helped people who needed a stop gap or a short term solution, I am very fussy who I help though it has to work and I won't suffer mickey takers and I make this quite clear at the start.

In your shoes I would give notice to both as they have been there 2 years and you have let them get away with this behaviour, so in my view it will be incredibly hard to now have them change whatever they have got away with doing, then start the process of looking for people that will fit in and tow the line, I know it's hard but I ask a million questions and I have as many rules, and do you what if they don't like it its tough but you have to have clear boundaries from the start, I have had a few people ask for a stable and just know that they are not the sort I want so I just say I am not in a position to rent at the moment.

anyone who treats your yard and home like this is just not worth the bother get rid decent people just don't behave in this way, I have never had a problem with the few people I have had livery here they have been respectful and we have worked together and helped each other if not they pay for my time it's that simple.
 
I'd tell the mum and daughter to go if they have had every chance to improve their language and haven't

I'd give the DIY one chance to shape up, I don't think after two years of you doing their chores and not putting your foot down that it would be fair to ask them to leave suddenly, you need to say you can no longer support them and they need to commit to visiting twice a day or you'll have to ask them to leave
 
I think you need to get tough!
As difficult as it is.
Do you have contracts?
Update them. Put in a full list of rules.

Explain about it being your home so you don't want to see argument hear foul language.
But also you just because you live on site doesn't not mean you will do things for free.
If horses are meant to come in at night, the owner has to come and get them in or she will be charged if you have to do it.
Also specify times.
Horses must be seem to in the morning an evening by a certain time.

If they leave so what,
You can be picky and get liveries that respect you and your property.

Good luck
 
I'm echoing what everyone else has said, you need to put them in their place. If it makes you feel better tell the DIY one you're only doing full or assisted livery from a certain date and give her a breakdown of what that entails and the costs then it's her choice to stay and pay or leave. Tell the mother and daughter that you will not have your daughter exposed to their behaviour and if there is any repeat they will be given notice - it's your home so don't have to put up with this. Also put a notice up by the hose - Only for filling water buckets, washing horses off - or whatever you deem acceptable. I presume your water is metered so if questioned explain that this is why you are limiting it's use, I find many people don't realise that our water is metered and are quite surprised when I tell them.

Hopefully you will get some more respectful, better liveries in to take their places.
 
I would be very peeved if I was paying for full livery but discovered the DIY was getting turn out and bring in every day free.
I think you need to get rid of the DIY first . If you get another make it clear what your charges are for assisted livery and add them to their bill every month.
We hear so much about dreadful liveries on here but as long as YO's run their business in such an unprofessional manner people will continue to be " bad " customers.
 
I would tell the DIY person you are not prepared to do DIY anymore as there's not enough money in it for you to be able to keep the yard going. She either pays for full livery (which you're pretty much doing anyway so you may as well be paid for it) or she goes elsewhere. That way, it's not seen as personal it's just a financial issue and it's her decision.

As far as the mother / daughter - give them a written warning. They either stop arguing and swearing or they're gone. And no cars on the yard due to health and safety. Not only could horses escape a stable and cause an accident, excess water on the yard could freeze at this time of year and turn it into an ice rink.

I'm afraid it's time to grow a pair. Not easy but you'll feel so much better for it.
 
Meet with the troublesome liveries, voice your concerns and issue them with a new contract, stating what they can/can't do/new price for the DIY-er seen as you do a lot for her. If they don't like it, issue them notice.
 
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