Livery yard.....am I being anti-social?!

YorksG said:
I too would find the woman annoying, we now have our own place so don't have any of that nonsense, it also means I don't have judgmental people commenting on when and how often I ride my horse!
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Yes...not quite sure why it matters how often a person may ride their horse but it does seem to :p

My part of the DIY yard is quite separate from the rest, down a bumpy lane....so no problems there and my others are at home so the only incessant chatter I have to deal with is my OH :D However, when I did share a yard with others I used to love going down on a Saturday, chucking a feed at the horses and putting the kettle on ready for a good ol chinwag with my friends...we often ran out of time and energy to ride
 
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When my regular riding buddy is away, I find the yard a lonely place as it seems like the majority of horsepeople don't want to socialize. It's a terrible feeling of isolation that's there anyway, but when you are having an issue with a horse, it's soul-crushing and there is nobody so I end up talking to friends in the 'old country' on Facebook. Which is okay, but not the same thing.

I spent years at a barn with a great sense of community and support, and while I am sure there were a few boarders who didn't want to talk to people, it was a big enough place that it didn't matter.
 
I have been on some yards in my time, some are the case of im next to the biggest gossip on the yard....bitch etc...

Now i am on a lovely, quiet yard, I rarely see anyone long enough to have a chat too...yet support when i need it


Thanks to my working hours really lol :D

so no - im anti-social too - and i dont even care admitting it - i spent my entire day talking to people... when I see my horse, all I want is to chill
 
I'm anti social with people in general unless its at the yard - then I can spend hours speaking to everyone.
I find it relaxing, and have met some fab friends via yards. We're on a fairly small yard now but 4 of us can chat for hours. We still get horses done and riding in etc - it just means calling across the yard as we're grooming/mucking out etc.

I wouldn't have problems with those that just want to get done and go. I let them be and then if there's a day where they are hanging about, I'll chat to them then
 
It depends on how much time you have. If you can just chat while doing jobs and don't keep getting stopped it's no big deal. If someone delays you constantly it becomes annoying.

We used to have DIY liveries, and one was extremely needy, nobody could get anything done or have a minute's privacy without her. We used to have a freelance groom riding my horse and she was paid a set time. She used to dread the livery being there as it took her much longer than normal.

I have my own yard and get things done much quicker alone, but do enjoy the days when my sharer is mucking out too as we chat.
 
I am the opposite, I love the social side of the yard. But we are only a small yard and we all get along really well. We ride together and also see each other away from the yard. I went to one liveries house for dinner and wine last night and shopping with another livery today.

However luckily we are comfortable enough with each other to say if we are in a rush so can't speak. If I'm trying to rush around I will just say something like "sorry not being rude, but I'm in a huge rush so can't chat" usually that's the point we start helping each other with chores left to do. Love my yard!
 
I'm on a very small yard there's 5 of us and I love to stand for a chat but rarely get time. I have 5 horses 3 of which are in work so I'm always battling again time so I can't often chat but if its a day off and somebody comes for a chatter I'm more then happy to sit outside and do so if I can. It always work that if we forget something or are ill we back each other up ( YO not horsey at all, we just pay peanuts as he likes to see horses around) there's no bitchyness no rules no nothing just do as u like.and if anybody wants to join our yard the owner asks us if we are happy with them, if we say no that's his answer. Of course at times we have a disagreement but don't everybody?!
And 1 of the girls lives on site as well so u always have the horses being watched over and she picks up on most things and gives u a txt if she's unsure, works well. But we have all had horses a long time and know what we are doing and not 1 of us are afraid to ask for help or to have a different set of eyes cast over a problem we tend to work together with all our horses. BUT when I was at a big livery yard just down the road it was hell, everybody was a know it all, knew better then everybody and wouldn't listen to nobody or ask for help and I know now how bad it was but a lot of them were novice owners who were trying to prove their worth and I'm sure I was like it once maybe but now its all old hat and part of life with like minded people, nothing to prove and nobody cares about gossip.
 
I used to keep my horse on a large dealing/ hunt yard. I got on with everyone but was once called an unsociable rider!!! I would go up to do my horse early and ride, then muck out etc. No one else turned up til gone 9am and I was just about done and dusted by then!!! They all seemed to mill about doing nothing in particular, then ride as and when. That's okay if you haven't got anything else to do but I work full time and needed to catch up on jobs when horse was done. I did feel slightly out if the loop as everyone else was also into hunting whereas I competed showjumping and dressage. No one was ever nasty but I just liked to do my horse the way it suited me. Now have my two boys on a private yard, just me, and it us absolutely fabulous!!
 
Charlie007 said:
I used to keep my horse on a large dealing/ hunt yard. I got on with everyone but was once called an unsociable rider!!! I would go up to do my horse early and ride, then muck out etc. No one else turned up til gone 9am and I was just about done and dusted by then!!! They all seemed to mill about doing nothing in particular, then ride as and when. That's okay if you haven't got anything else to do but I work full time and needed to catch up on jobs when horse was done. I did feel slightly out if the loop as everyone else was also into hunting whereas I competed showjumping and dressage. No one was ever nasty but I just liked to do my horse the way it suited me. Now have my two boys on a private yard, just me, and it us absolutely fabulous!!
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I know what you mean about feeling 'out of the loop'. However, Im glad to be out of it as being in the loop seems to mean getting involved in gossipy nonsense which I am not intersted in. I am friendly and chatty witheveryone but dont get involved in heated discussions as I couldnt care less about how little or often others ride, who said what about whoever, and whos horse really doesnt need a full neck rug etc!!
 
I love the social aspect of being on a yard, so much so that I can't ever see myself wanting to rent my own small space.

That said, I'm not the type to sit around gossiping all day, I am there to do my horse after all!

I've got the fine art of filtering out the innane/annoying ones, smiling and giving an 'Mmmm' when I am really thinking they are an idiot.

However there is nothing better than a good natter when you have the time, moral support, someone to bounce ideas off and just general motivation :)
 
Another one here that likes the social aspect of a yard (and the support when things go a bit wrong!).

If I had time to stop and chat, I would sit down with a cuppa for a catch up. If I didn't I would usually check in with how people are, get my stuff done, and leave. In fact, now my horse is on loan, I still visit the yard to see how people are and say hello to the horses.

I guess there is a difference in some peoples scenarios though. Most of the people on my old yard I consider as friends, having been there for over 15 years.. My opinion of general chat may be different if I found myself somewhere with yard bullies, or groups of people who felt the need to bitch and gossip constantly. I don't involve myself in it. And it is probably why I had a peaceful time on livery for so many years!
 
I too like the social aspect, I'm pretty sure I'd hate it on a yard of my own. I'm on a lovely small yard (9 liveries). We're all adults (which I'm certain helps!) and we all get on well. However, there's always a time when you just need to get mucked out and gone and most of the girls are aware enough to see that and we leave each other alone (or help out) when that's the case. There's one who's not particularly aware of the signals but I don't hear brilliantly (and they all know that) so I can quite easily ignore her if I need to and she doesn't get offended - especially if I'm in my stable and she's in hers next door as she talks to me over the wall and I can't see she's speaking to me I don't hear as easily. If I see someone in front of me speaking I make a real effort to listen and hear them, but often don't register noise without a visual stimulus.

Invent a slight hearing loss (ear infection is a good place to start - hearing loss from that can last months!). Tell her you're not being rude if you ignore her, it's just that you don't hear brilliantly. That way you can pick and choose when to hear her without offending her.
 
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