Newwilds
Member
How do you all deal with nasty people on livery yards?
Livery yard chaos
- Thread starter Newwilds
- Start date
Shay
Well-Known Member
Ignore them. I'm pretty thick skinned and life is too short. What goes around comes around.
Sprat
Well-Known Member
Agreed. Rise above it. You are there to enjoy your horse, not worry about other people.
PapaverFollis
Well-Known Member
Apparently I end up yelling at them then having to avoid them while looking for a new yard... I don't reccommend this approach.
mini_b
Well-Known Member
From my experience the ones that can’t be nice and just rub along with others tend to end up leaving/asked to leave anyway.
I’d hope if they aren’t nice, their behaviour won’t have gone unnoticed by YO/YM
I’d hope if they aren’t nice, their behaviour won’t have gone unnoticed by YO/YM
CanteringCarrot
Well-Known Member
I just ignore. Usually the nasties are also not so liked by the YO and end up moving along eventually. They also get kind of bored with you and/or the yard in general when you ignore them and their antics.
Dyllymoo
Well-Known Member
Ignore but recently moved yards!
jules9203
Well-Known Member
Depends what level of 'nasty' ?
Cinnamontoast
Fais pas chier!
Ignore, utterly blank them. Luckily, our only painful person (the spy!) is leaving soon. Everyone else sits for chats if we have time and gets on well.
Dwyran_gold
Well-Known Member
Ignore, There’s usually always one everywhere you go and I usually find the ones to really watch are the ones who come to you to talk about someone else. X
Ani2013
Active Member
I recommend earphones!
Gingerwitch
Well-Known Member
Ear plugs or pretend to be on the phone or just grin and look blankly at them, check your watch and rush off x
donovan10
New User
I always used to say, just ignore them, if my horse is happy at the yard, thats the most important thing! BUT.... I am leaving the yard I am on tomorrow, my horse is happy there, but there is 1 person there that has literally tried to destroy my life, take away my career, no exagerations, I have tried to get over it, but I cant. So, if its making you so unhappy, find somewhere else. Good luck!
Misty 2020
Well-Known Member
I just laugh at them if they make a bitchy comment about me or my horse because you annoy them even more. My previous yard the people were straight up nasty . I lucky the people on my current yard are lovely and there is no bitchy people. If you’re not happy than I would move it was the best discussion I made was to get out of my previous yard.
Pinkvboots
Well-Known Member
Depends how bad it is I have tended to stay away from people I consider not very nice, but have know some real bullies and I won't put up with bully behaviour so I tend to get left alone by them, but I have seen some people really suffer because they have felt scared and intimidated which I find quite sad, I would and have reported such to the yo or manager and I would expect it to be dealt with and have known them to be asked to leave.
AShetlandBitMeOnce
Well-Known Member
Repeat to yourself constantly 'not my circus, not my monkeys' and if they begin to approach you just say 'I have nothing to discuss with you' and walk away. Always worked for me...
Pinkvboots
Well-Known Member
That sounds terrible I hope you are ok
dorsetladette
Well-Known Member
In theory ignore, but in practise let it eat away at me until I cant contain it any longer. Kick off, rant uncontrollable about things that seem really trivial and completely miss the point I'm trying to make. Then move quickly feeling like I was probably over reacting and have now made a really bad decision. Only to find out further down the line that the person who caused all the upset has a reputation for it and I was well and truly sucked in.
but that is just me - I'm much happier now I'm on my own
but that is just me - I'm much happier now I'm on my own
AFB
Well-Known Member
It depends on the level of nasty:
Cliques/comments - ignore.
Malicious/interference - speak to YO, if YO won't act then I'd move.
Cliques/comments - ignore.
Malicious/interference - speak to YO, if YO won't act then I'd move.
Bernster
Well-Known Member
In theory ignore, but in practise let it eat away at me until I cant contain it any longer. Kick off, rant uncontrollable about things that seem really trivial and completely miss the point I'm trying to make. Then move quickly feeling like I was probably over reacting and have now made a really bad decision. Only to find out further down the line that the person who caused all the upset has a reputation for it and I was well and truly sucked in.
but that is just me - I'm much happier now I'm on my own
Hah I reckon I’d be the same! Am far better giving sensible advice than putting it into practice. Fortunately I’ve not come across anyone truly nasty or really rude but I probably wouldn’t notice even if they were!
9tails
Well-Known Member
Or they have the YO in their pocket and run the yard for their own personal gain. I keep my head down, don't join in on gossip and just spend time with my horse.
TPO
Well-Known Member
It really depends on what has been happening and if there is a YO managing/overseeing the yard and what they are like.
While ignoring the trouble makers and keeping your head down to do your own thing is good advice I struggled with that because the atmosphere still remained.
Having horses is supposed to be fun and the joy can quickly be sucked out of it when there is bother on the yard.
So yeah bottom line it depends in what's actually going on and how long it's been happening for
While ignoring the trouble makers and keeping your head down to do your own thing is good advice I struggled with that because the atmosphere still remained.
Having horses is supposed to be fun and the joy can quickly be sucked out of it when there is bother on the yard.
So yeah bottom line it depends in what's actually going on and how long it's been happening for
Kat
Well-Known Member
I mainly go up at quiet times, mostly I have the place to myself and I can avoid any drama.
dorsetladette
Well-Known Member
I'm one of those people who doesn't really pick up on things straight away as I'm mostly in a little world of my own. but, it will dawn on me in the car on the way home or while sat quietly somewhere. Then I'll be enraged, mostly with myself, as I should of said X Y or Z and didn't, but I've missed the moment. I'm an over thinker by nature and cause myself so much stress or no reason. I've learnt to deal with it by keeping busy and making myself tied everyday so I sleep at night. If you fill your head with good stuff there's no room for the bad stuff.
Bernster
Well-Known Member
Haha are you me?! Although fortunately I’m an Olympic level sleeper so tend not to have disturbed sleep because of it.
9tails
Well-Known Member
We should have a word to describe this action (or lack of). It happens to us all on a regular basis, of course once you have your repertoire down pat the occasion never arises again.
Gingerwitch
Well-Known Member
I am so sorry to hear this. I once worked with someone who moved to the same yard as me. It was awful, work encroached into horses and horses encroached into work. I was even being ridiculed at work for riding errors and they would video me and play it at work. They even tried to force me to let them use my schoolmaster and horse box by putting a grievance in about me at work and said they would be friends and redact the grievance if I let them use them. I left the yard then the job I had been at both for over 10 years. Amazingly they were asked to leave yard almost 12 months later and were made redundant. Old boss has since tried to get me to return but did very little to help at the time so with a very good company now. So I suppose I should thank them really
9tails
Well-Known Member
Wow! Horrendous oxygen thieves.
Ponyhugger
Member
It depends on the yard and if the YO allows/ignores the nastiness/ bitchiness/cliques/bullies and all that goes with it. On my last yard the YO had her favourites and it was cliquey. She also bitched about liveries to the other liveries. If you didn't fit in or didn't know anyone much there you got ignored, slagged off, left out of activities etc etc. Hid my rugs and bridles, scratched my saddle and denied it. Or it went the other way and they spoke to you to tell you your position was all wrong, you didn't know what you were doing.... plus the one-upmanship and petty competitiveness. I ignored it for as long as I could stand, then left to rent a field. Oh the peace! The best decision I made. It depends on your own personal experience and situation in the end of course.
Roasted Chestnuts
Well-Known Member
I ignore them to a point then once it’s crossed a certain threshold I just get them told. I’m not great at confrontation and I avoid it but once my lines crossed then I’m afraid it’s no holds barred.
I can’t stand yard bitching, I don’t say anything on a yard I wouldn’t admit to as it always gets back no matter who you tell it to.
I can’t stand yard bitching, I don’t say anything on a yard I wouldn’t admit to as it always gets back no matter who you tell it to.