livery yard hell...again

Going back to the original post.

What is actually the problem - she doesn't want to ride with you and is changing her lesson so she doesn't have a lesson with you either. Thats it, apart from that nothing seems to have changed. She still asked you to go to an appointment and you are still looking after her business. You also mention you have defended her when people have a go about the new horse. And your daughter is still beating her, even with the new horse.

I dont think this is a yard or friendship problem, its about the horse.

For some reason its not living up to her expectations. Perhaps she wants lessons on her own so she can share her concerns with her instructor. As for making comments about your daughter to the instructor, perhaps she is totally frustrated that she isn't progressing.

Maybe the new horse is not working out so well and she doesn't want you to know. We all feel like this sometimes.

Rather than cutting her off it might be the time to be even more supportive. Let he have some space to work things out on her own. Could you offer to take her somewhere when your daughter isn't going as well, that would also solve the lorry problem.

It just might be worth making an extra effort as she sounds to have been a good friend in the past.
 
Moomin1 said:
You're right I do have a very forthright personality - I have been trained to be that way in my career.

If you read correctly - I said that paedophilia and rape threats are taken very seriously by the police. OP said that this man threatened to rape a 13 year old girl. That allegation is one of rape threat and paedophilia. I did not 'convict' this man in any way - I am stating that police take these allegations very seriously.

With regard to a law suit - my comments were in relation to general allegations of that nature. OP is the one who is directly alleging that this man did this.

I still do not for one minute think it is appropriate to deal with someone who has made rape threats against a child yourself, and yes - police should be involved immediately.

I would like to bet that the poor mothers and fathers of those children over the years that have been raped/murdered/kidnapped would agree that ANY matter like this should be reported, whatever the outcome, or however small the information. It may well prevent awful things happening in the future.
Click to expand...

I think if you read your post again you stated you would ask him to leave when the police were there, not after investigation by the police, which in my book is being asked to leave without any investigation, but anyway, how you or i would deal with this isnt the issue. My point is not everyone is prepared to stand up to people they are frightened of, you dont know the OP's circumstances or why she dealt with it the way she did.
 
Quote in your first post:
I have known her for 5 years and we have helped her on numerous occasions with her current horse.

Then on page 3 you say this:
I have known my friend for 12 years, long before she got horses.

Which is it?
 
nala1 said:
Quote in your first post:
I have known her for 5 years and we have helped her on numerous occasions with her current horse.

Then on page 3 you say this:
I have known my friend for 12 years, long before she got horses.

Which is it?
Click to expand...

Does it really matter?

Hopefully the OP has realised that she and her friend don't need to be in each others pocket, and can enjoy being at livery and finding the balance between friendship and overkill....
 
There is a great saying that you get treated in life how you allow yourself to be treated. I'm afraid alarm bells would have rang for me the minute the friend bought a more expensive horse because they were relying on you for transport.

I'd agree to step back a little, remain polite and friendly, but do more things on your own and don't allow yourself to be used as it will only build resentment in the long run.

Sometimes friendships and people change and I find it is better to accept that and just get on with things without relying on other people to create your happiness, but then I'm essentially an anti social bod that prefers my own company so I find it quite easy.;)
 
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