ThePony
Well-Known Member
Yay, thank you!! I do just love looking at dressage saddles - have you seen the prestiege page, amazing saddle porn!!
Livery yard stereotypes! Lighthearted post.
- Thread starter hackinharry
- Start date
Yay, thank you!! I do just love looking at dressage saddles - have you seen the prestiege page, amazing saddle porn!!
c2b
Well-Known Member
The Princess....
mid 20's but behaves like a spoilt 6 yr old child.
Daddy mucks out and does all the nasty jobs.
The Princess often boasts about how badly behaved the horse is and she is the only one who can ride it. Despite being seen kicking it furiously on when it has allegedly bolted with her.
The Princess takes over the jumping paddock and uses it as turnout space as she clearly can't get her designer boots muddy in the main field.
Regularly brings her horse in from the field with no headcollar grinning and telling anyone who is within range how wonderful said horse is as it never needs a headcollar.......followed swiftly by her retrieving said wonderful horse who has tanked off around the back of the yard.
Has all designer gear, talks the talk but when it comes to actually going hunting/competing/showjumping the horse is mysteriously lame, such a mystery as it seems to be walking sound to anyone else. But hey what do they know.
Likes to inform everyone on how much everything has cost (daddy).
mid 20's but behaves like a spoilt 6 yr old child.
Daddy mucks out and does all the nasty jobs.
The Princess often boasts about how badly behaved the horse is and she is the only one who can ride it. Despite being seen kicking it furiously on when it has allegedly bolted with her.
The Princess takes over the jumping paddock and uses it as turnout space as she clearly can't get her designer boots muddy in the main field.
Regularly brings her horse in from the field with no headcollar grinning and telling anyone who is within range how wonderful said horse is as it never needs a headcollar.......followed swiftly by her retrieving said wonderful horse who has tanked off around the back of the yard.
Has all designer gear, talks the talk but when it comes to actually going hunting/competing/showjumping the horse is mysteriously lame, such a mystery as it seems to be walking sound to anyone else. But hey what do they know.
Likes to inform everyone on how much everything has cost (daddy).
emmaln
Well-Known Member
Oooooooh saddle porn! One of my favourite pastimes! I'm quite partial to a sue Carson freedom style!
I'm starting to worry I have a split personality as I can relate to quite a few of these!!!!
Fazzie
Well-Known Member
mashnut
Well-Known Member
The one with the non-horsey family.
Usually the owner of their first horse and trying to learn all they can from books and magazines. The family and friends visit the "pony" but clearly understand very little. Can be found asking endless questions on forums and following the yard oracle around offering to work in exchange for advice. Big dreams don't often match the abilities of the horse/rider.
These are great for a giggle!
Usually the owner of their first horse and trying to learn all they can from books and magazines. The family and friends visit the "pony" but clearly understand very little. Can be found asking endless questions on forums and following the yard oracle around offering to work in exchange for advice. Big dreams don't often match the abilities of the horse/rider.
These are great for a giggle!
dianeholmes
Well-Known Member
There's the one who bigs up her riding by saying how awful/dangerous/mad her horse is and then wonders why no one will hack out with her!! (Usually not true of the horse either!!)
There is the one who has obviously broken a huge mirror in another life and manages to buy crocked horses despite best vettings, advice etc. The one who everyone feels really sorry for but definitley does not want to be her, who never has any money but has personally paid for the vet's range rover!! Sadly me at the moment!!
There is also the husband/partner of the keen woman - he has bought a horse cos he wants to be there for the four hours a day she spends at the yard but is clueless and the bain of everybodies lives!!
This thread cheered me up!!
There is the one who has obviously broken a huge mirror in another life and manages to buy crocked horses despite best vettings, advice etc. The one who everyone feels really sorry for but definitley does not want to be her, who never has any money but has personally paid for the vet's range rover!! Sadly me at the moment!!
There is also the husband/partner of the keen woman - he has bought a horse cos he wants to be there for the four hours a day she spends at the yard but is clueless and the bain of everybodies lives!!
This thread cheered me up!!
dibbin
Well-Known Member
Lexie81 - our yard had a team of hardcore coffee drinkers, and I was proud to be one of them 
horses papped into the turnout paddock as soon as they've had breakfast ... "coffee time?" ... 2 hours later, the mucking out still isn't done lol.
What about ...
The Suspiciously Clean One (SCO) - appears to be coated in Teflon, as everyone has seen her ride, muck out, turn out, fill haynets and do everything else that we all do ... but she is NEVER DIRTY, and never has a hair or even an eyelash out of place; the boots are always polished and the jods/breeches are invariably sparkling white - how is this done?!
horses papped into the turnout paddock as soon as they've had breakfast ... "coffee time?" ... 2 hours later, the mucking out still isn't done lol.What about ...
The Suspiciously Clean One (SCO) - appears to be coated in Teflon, as everyone has seen her ride, muck out, turn out, fill haynets and do everything else that we all do ... but she is NEVER DIRTY, and never has a hair or even an eyelash out of place; the boots are always polished and the jods/breeches are invariably sparkling white - how is this done?!
Rose Folly
Well-Known Member
The Borrower:
Has a large grooming box, filled with other people's grooming kit, especially the fun things like a bot knife, really sharp pair of scissors. The Borrower falls into two categories: a) the jackdaw (borrows/liberates pieces of tack and equipment and then files them tidily in THEIR locker), and b) the spreader, who asks nicely, borrows, but then plops the item down wherever when finished with it.
Has a large grooming box, filled with other people's grooming kit, especially the fun things like a bot knife, really sharp pair of scissors. The Borrower falls into two categories: a) the jackdaw (borrows/liberates pieces of tack and equipment and then files them tidily in THEIR locker), and b) the spreader, who asks nicely, borrows, but then plops the item down wherever when finished with it.
Countrychic
Well-Known Member
The natural horse owner. Their horse is not allowed rugs and must go out whatever the weather and stay out until last thing generally resulting in every other livery nearly being decapitated as their natural happy horse attempts to force it's way out of the field and back to it's house! Their horse is crippled lame and has been for the past year because it is transitioning to barefoot, this means that they can't really ride so their horse gets fatter and fatter at which point they decide to use a muzzle, the natural solution obviously! They spend hours waving sticks and rope at the horse and yet it still has no manners and comes barreling out of the box leaving a trail of destruction in it's wake. The most important thing however is to tell everyone else what bad owners they are and how unhappy their horses must be.
The how do they get away with it horse owner, they will turn their horse out any where with anything, ride it after months off for a two hour hack, get it shod once every 16 weeks, never get a dentist, saddler, physio and yet horse is fit as a fiddle.
The how do they get away with it horse owner, they will turn their horse out any where with anything, ride it after months off for a two hour hack, get it shod once every 16 weeks, never get a dentist, saddler, physio and yet horse is fit as a fiddle.
little_critter
Well-Known Member
I am both the all the gear no idea (I have Ariat boots and a Pikeur jacket and struggle to ride a reasonable prelim test) - but no boots / bandages / dressage saddle. I bought the jacket because it was the best fit - honest (and cheaper coz it was a kids one).
And the non-horsey family. I'm fequently found lurking on here absorbing all the info I can get and asking daft questions. OH is sometimes dragged to the yard with the promise of a beer afterwards and keeps asking me when I'll get a 'proper' horse.
And the non-horsey family. I'm fequently found lurking on here absorbing all the info I can get and asking daft questions. OH is sometimes dragged to the yard with the promise of a beer afterwards and keeps asking me when I'll get a 'proper' horse.
CBFan
Well-Known Member
The one who has the perfect pony. Said pony NEVER bites, NEVER kicks, NEVER rips other horses rugs and is obviously a poor defenceless victim of a verocious attack on a daily basis. Of course, said pony is often seen biting, kicking, hanging onto other horses by their rugs and tails and said owner wonders why pony comes in one day with his head kicked in...
Further more pony drags, teenage owner round the yard on a daily basis, bites over the stable door and is generally a bad mannered so-and-so and clearly VERY unhappy!
Further more pony drags, teenage owner round the yard on a daily basis, bites over the stable door and is generally a bad mannered so-and-so and clearly VERY unhappy!
Nitro mouse
Well-Known Member
Lol love this....worryingly I seem to fit into two categories! The native owner an the scruffy hacker....tee
Teflon women? Yeah HOW do they do it? Two mins in clean clothes and As if by magic I attract dirt...
Perhaps that should be another category? The can't help but look like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards!
Anyway my contribution..
The looking for a horsey woman man
Just learned to ride and has gone out and bought a re trained racehorse in order to meet women...he hasn't a clue rides every where at a gallop ....has a steamy affair or two before disappearing onto the next fad....
The old hand....elderly women with equally elderly horse or pony, can be heard advising the young in a very loud posh voice about gripping on TIGHT with the knees.
Teflon women? Yeah HOW do they do it? Two mins in clean clothes and As if by magic I attract dirt...
Perhaps that should be another category? The can't help but look like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards!
Anyway my contribution..
The looking for a horsey woman man
Just learned to ride and has gone out and bought a re trained racehorse in order to meet women...he hasn't a clue rides every where at a gallop ....has a steamy affair or two before disappearing onto the next fad....
The old hand....elderly women with equally elderly horse or pony, can be heard advising the young in a very loud posh voice about gripping on TIGHT with the knees.
lily1
Well-Known Member
The girl that turns up with all the gear on and never rides.
Lurky McLurker
Well-Known Member
The one with the non-horsey family.
Usually the owner of their first horse and trying to learn all they can from books and magazines. The family and friends visit the "pony" but clearly understand very little. Can be found asking endless questions on forums and following the yard oracle around offering to work in exchange for advice. Big dreams don't often match the abilities of the horse/rider.
These are great for a giggle!
I'm fairly sure this is me! I may also be a coffee-drinker.
I livery at a riding school, and my favourite "type" is the little 8 year old girl with her first pony who arrives at the yard with a massive gap-toothed grin and doesn't stop grinning until her mum arrives to take her home - this little girl just adores her pony (usually an irresistably cute but very naughty section A!) and spends all day grooming him, plaiting his mane and tail, and then having bareback jumping competitions with her friends in which she hits the ground repeatedly but always jumps up laughing. I love these little girls, they are a pleasure, and I'm very jealous that I didn't get to do that when I was their age!