Livery yards, and the way you and your horse are treated...

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Erehwemos

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I have come to realise how amusing it is being on a livery yard, in terms of the way you and your horse are perceived. I absolutely adore the yard I am on now, and as I've been thinking about it I've come to the conclusion that my happiness has nothing to do with facilities, and everything to do with the people there.

I was happy at our last place, but there were little niggles. Like the fact that it was clear sometimes that the way we did things was not necessarily the way the YO liked to do things, and the fact that I didn't fawn over the 'yard superstar' like many of the other liveries did. The biggest thing - and this was what really got to me - was the way in which Ellie was thought of by the other liveries. I can cope with anything anyone throws at me, but after they started to say that my horse was 'dangerous'...well, it really got to me
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That wasn't the reason we left, but it did make me come home often and feel really down. It wasn't just the 'danger' issue - I often got the impression that they just didnt like her - probably because she is a bit flighty and highly strung.

Now, at the new yard, I have the opposite problem. Everyone thinks that Ellie is some kind of angelic superstar who never puts a foot wrong, and the funny thing is now, I actually find myself wanting to tell them that no, she has plenty of ability to muck around/buck/rear/spook/shy when she wants to. She is just so well behaved in company that no one believes me when I say she can be naughty on her own! So it's a bit of a case of angels and demons with her, I think. At the old place I used to frantically defend her honour; now I am having to do the opposite!

This is a pointless post, really. But I guess it just goes to show that the friendliness of other people (I'm not saying you want people to fall in love with your horse, but it does help when they're not slagging him/her off all the time!) really does have a massive impact on how happy or satisfied you feel with a livery yard. I used to be desperate to get out of livery and have our own land again.....but now, I'm actually pretty happy to stay put for a bit!
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Absolutely agree with you from personal experience. Facilities are only important to an extent (obviously safety is the main concern) but most yards these days have a half decent school and some turnout. Besides good horse care, the social aspect is the most important for me.

I left a yard with top facilities as it just wasn't working, and am much happier with fewer facilities but lovely, supportive people who are more on my wavelength.
 
I go through various different opinions on my yard and TBH it always boils down to the people there. It's the combination of people that makes/breaks a yard.

I have to laugh tho when my horse is going really well in the school and a couple of the other liveries say 'oh youve been so lucky with him havent you'. They don't realise the amount of effort that has gone into training him and the work I've done. I take it as a compliment tho that I've trained him from a 3 year old and they think he's a saint!
 
Completely disagree! Sorry! Who gives a sh*t what people think about you or your horse?! You're not living your life to make other people happy (at least I hope not). I couldn't care less what people say about me and/or my horse. We have our own lives and do our own thing and if people want to chat with me, fine, if they want to bi*ch, I really couldn't care less!

Why waste your time thinking about it? Those other people are clearly losers! Surely all that matters is that you and your horse are happy and healthy. If someone was neglecting their horse, yes I would probably shove my nose in and say something. Otherwise, live and let live. Don't care what other people think!
 
I also agree about the atmosphere being as important as the facilities at a yard.

Here is a few observations I have made about livery yards:

-Beward the YO who says there is no bitchiness at their yard and they won't tolerate it. This translates as the YO is usually the one doing the majority of bitching.

-What your horse is blamed for is directly related to your social standing at the yard. eg You are unpopular, your horse gets the blame for field hi-jinks or bad behaviour that would be laughed at if another horse belonging to a more popular livery did it.

-Try not to be the favourite/super star of the YO because one minute you are, the next you are not, and really who needs that sort of pressure and hassle?
 
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Completely disagree! Sorry! Who gives a sh*t what people think about you or your horse?! You're not living your life to make other people happy (at least I hope not). I couldn't care less what people say about me and/or my horse. We have our own lives and do our own thing and if people want to chat with me, fine, if they want to bi*ch, I really couldn't care less!

Why waste your time thinking about it? Those other people are clearly losers! Surely all that matters is that you and your horse are happy and healthy. If someone was neglecting their horse, yes I would probably shove my nose in and say something. Otherwise, live and let live. Don't care what other people think!

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Absolutely agree, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks but it's not always that easy. I have my say when I need to and keep out of most things but if there's tension in the air it can be difficult. To some people at my yard, the yard is their only social life so if someone upsets them by making comments it is a big deal.
 
I completely agree. I was on one yard and fairly happy, the people were nice and facilities good, as time went on, the facilities deteriorated and so did the other liveries (lots of comings and goings of liveries) - now i've moved its like a breath of fresh air. I didnt realise what i'd been putting up with for so long!

Initially on the old yard i had a very flashy chestnut TB, and everyone did like her (she was fab and i was devistated when i lost her), then i moved onto another TB (not so flashy) and still lots of people were 'impressed' however i then got my little coloured Cob X, and lots of people sort of laughed when they saw her - needless to say she's been absolutely fab and beat most of them in competitions (dressage, XC, SJ & Showing!)
 
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Completely disagree! Sorry! Who gives a sh*t what people think about you or your horse?! You're not living your life to make other people happy (at least I hope not). I couldn't care less what people say about me and/or my horse. We have our own lives and do our own thing and if people want to chat with me, fine, if they want to bi*ch, I really couldn't care less!

Why waste your time thinking about it? Those other people are clearly losers! Surely all that matters is that you and your horse are happy and healthy. If someone was neglecting their horse, yes I would probably shove my nose in and say something. Otherwise, live and let live. Don't care what other people think!

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Saskia, I'm not sure whether you've understood what I'm saying. I'm not suggesting that everyone should love either you or your horse - to be fair, hero-worship is one of the things I didnt like about the old place - one person in particular seemed to always make themselves the centre of attention, and as a result a lot of the other liveries tended to kowtow to them. So no, I'm not saying that everyone should love your horse - simply that it is far nicer to be on a yard where people are actually pleasant to you (and your horse) rather than snide and disparaging.
If you have a thick enough skin to not care about what anyone says, then fine - but I just know that the atmosphere is a lot nicer for me personally when everyone is civil to one another. There might be some horses that I don't particularly like, but I wouldnt dream of telling their owners so or saying anything to make their owner feel bad , and it is nice to be in a yard where everyone seems to have that outlook
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I also agree about the atmosphere being as important as the facilities at a yard.

Here is a few observations I have made about livery yards:

-Beward the YO who says there is no bitchiness at their yard and they won't tolerate it. This translates as the YO is usually the one doing the majority of bitching.

-What your horse is blamed for is directly related to your social standing at the yard. eg You are unpopular, your horse gets the blame for field hi-jinks or bad behaviour that would be laughed at if another horse belonging to a more popular livery did it.

-Try not to be the favourite/super star of the YO because one minute you are, the next you are not, and really who needs that sort of pressure and hassle?

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Skint, if Y/O who said there was no bitchiness WAS the bitch, surely they would have no liveries? Yards are a business, not a social club.

My yard has great Turnout, fantastic hacking, we try our hardest with facilities, such as a woodchip school, grass dressage arena, and showjumping paddock when the weather allows.

It is by no means glamorous AT ALL but I have worked hard to make my liveries happy, and as such the yard is a happy place to be. We have everything from happy hackers, to my horse who, even though he is deprived of a sand school, I am aiming to take 1* in 2011, and other good quality winning competition horses.

I can categorically say that there is no bitching – there really isn’t.
 
I do agree that its mainly about the people. We are SO lucky o our yard at the moment, everyone gets on really well. Its fab. Last yard there were always rude little notes left on the board, etc etc. Really childish but still irritating at made everything less pleasant. Now if anyone has an issue they can talk to each othera nd clear the air, or in worst case talk to YO and he will have a word if necessary, he's a really nice laid back person so if he has to get involved everyone would feel really guilty I think!
 
I cannot stand bitchy yards. My main aim is to improve my horse and myself. A productive learning environment for me is one where people help each other through problems and have shared experiences. If people are wasting time bitching then they are not really helping themselves, their horse or me in trying to learn! Why try and take people down when it is more satisfying to help raise them up and fulfil their potential? I just can't understand.

People should be polite and respect each other's choices and aims, whether at work, at the yard or in relationships, end of!
 
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Completely disagree! Sorry! Who gives a sh*t what people think about you or your horse?! You're not living your life to make other people happy (at least I hope not). I couldn't care less what people say about me and/or my horse. We have our own lives and do our own thing and if people want to chat with me, fine, if they want to bi*ch, I really couldn't care less!

Why waste your time thinking about it? Those other people are clearly losers! Surely all that matters is that you and your horse are happy and healthy. If someone was neglecting their horse, yes I would probably shove my nose in and say something. Otherwise, live and let live. Don't care what other people think!

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In a way I agree with Saskia295. However I now realise that I was brainwashed into thinking it didnt really matter, when in actual fact it does matter what people think of me and my horse.
I find atmoshpheres and politics on yards incredibly draining and find myself going up there less and less.
I actually moved yards because of atmospheres and what people thought of me and my horse.
I now really think the other liveries matter more than facilities.
I wish I was as resiliant as you, but sadly am not.
 
MizEltoe - I do agree with you that it is much more pleasant when people are civil to each other but if people are snide and disparaging, I really couldn't give a sh*t!

I think my job gives me a very thick skin as I have people shouting at me all day so I don't find that it gets to me really. At the end of the day, horses are our hobby so we are supposed to be enjoying it and that is made much harder if people are horrible/bitchy/nasty. I guess if the nasty yard people know they have an effect on you, maybe they are almost 'encouraged' to do it more? I don't know, I don't think I've been in that situation, or even if someone has been bitching, I either don't realise or don't care!
 
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People should be polite and respect each other's choices and aims, whether at work, at the yard or in relationships, end of!

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That hits the nail on the head! Exactly! Who cares whether people hack, or compete or do showing or whatever?! Why does it matter so much to some people? As I said before, as long as the horse isn't in danger or being neglected, people should just bugger off!!
 
I couldnt agree more with the points/posts made. I personally left being on livery yards several years ago now when I was fortunate enough be in a position to find somewhere I could rent that would be mine alone for me and my many horses.

It was partly a financial choice as I found somewhere I could rent that worked out to be less then renting several stables at livery, granted the facilities wouldnt be as good, but I could care for my horses the way I believe they should be treated, ie not shut in stables 23 out of 24 hours a day in winter and only allowed out in summer when the YO decided you could - These are MY horses, I pay for their keep, their vets bills, etc, who the hell has the right to tell me what I can or can not do!

However the other reason was more personal, I could no longer stand being 'the odd one out' as I followed natural horsemanship before it became accepted, I at one point was so depressed about the matter I considered selling up and parting with my beloved horses, many of which I have be proud to be owned by for many, many years, and raised several from being foals.

I often felt alone, bullied and at times intimidated by others on my last livery yard, and found no help forthcoming from the YO, in my final year on that yard I had suspected Strangles (it turned out not to be!) and one of my horses was very ill - Not one person asked how my ill horse was, or my others, they instead treated me like I was public enemy number 1, as they couldnt take their horses off the yard. Even the YO was nasty and put notices up saying my horses were infected and I was told to either wash my boots in the disinfectant water she put out side the stables or I would find my horses tied to the gate.

I have many other stories all equally as horrid. My new yard - my yard may not have the luxuries, and we have had minor problems with our landlord (all quickly resolved!) and I feel totally at home. I am in a position at my yard where I am one of a handful of horse owners in the area, as it is mostly farming land, and those of us that do have horses in the area either rent or own our own land so we really help each other, for example a friend up the road had no use for a rug that she had and gave me it for one of my gang - cleaned and re-proofed.

My landlord leaves the running of the land I rent to me and trusts me totally, however if things are rough like they were earlier this year and we had no water, my landlord actually helped me run hose pipes from his house to my fields (only an acre away) so the gang had water. My landlords are not perfect, and sometimes have to 'mention things' but they leave me alone to do what I chose with my horses, and I would never now consider parting with my babies.

Sorry Ive gone on a bit about my past problems xxxx
 
I love my livery yard!!

The YO said that only nice horses and owners allowed, and they were right!!!

there is NO bitching, there is no stealing, we have a 60x40 and a 20x40 arena which we all happily share, if someone has a lesson all that is asked is that we write it down in the dairy before hand so that other liveries can plan their own lessons/riding scedual.

we have fields that due to the weather of late have not been used but the YM has been turning all the horses out every day in the small arena for a kick and a fart.

we have a solarium which, when it snowed, we all huddled under to chat and drink coffee.

there are shows there and many different horses or all talent, but there is not elitism, there is no bitching.

Its a fun, happy place and a pleasure to be.

The YO and the YM are wonderful people and they deserve all the praise they recieve.
 
Completely agree with you,our yard has a mixture of horses,but to us(YO and myself as i run the yard when she is not there)they ARE ALL the same!They are all priceless to their owner be them the family plodder or the eventer:),no one or their horse gets preferential treatment they are all treated the same as we treat our own!And tbh alot of the liveries we have would admire somebody that could ride a difficult horse!
I believe it is the people on a yard that make it,not the facilities,you could have all the facilities in the world but if the people are horrid you wouldnt wanna be there to make use of the facilities anyway!
 
R2R said:
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I also agree about the atmosphere being as important as the facilities at a yard.

Here is a few observations I have made about livery yards:

-Beward the YO who says there is no bitchiness at their yard and they won't tolerate it. This translates as the YO is usually the one doing the majority of bitching.

-What your horse is blamed for is directly related to your social standing at the yard. eg You are unpopular, your horse gets the blame for field hi-jinks or bad behaviour that would be laughed at if another horse belonging to a more popular livery did it.

-Try not to be the favourite/super star of the YO because one minute you are, the next you are not, and really who needs that sort of pressure and hassle?

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Skint, if Y/O who said there was no bitchiness WAS the bitch, surely they would have no liveries? Yards are a business, not a social club.

My yard has great Turnout, fantastic hacking, we try our hardest with facilities, such as a woodchip school, grass dressage arena, and showjumping paddock when the weather allows.

It is by no means glamorous AT ALL but I have worked hard to make my liveries happy, and as such the yard is a happy place to be. We have everything from happy hackers, to my horse who, even though he is deprived of a sand school, I am aiming to take 1* in 2011, and other good quality winning competition horses.

I can categorically say that there is no bitching – there really isn’t.
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Your yard sounds really nice and I am sure you work really hard at making it that way, I was just relaying a point of view.
 
Dirtymare said:
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Completely disagree! Sorry! Who gives a sh*t what people think about you or your horse?! You're not living your life to make other people happy (at least I hope not). I couldn't care less what people say about me and/or my horse. We have our own lives and do our own thing and if people want to chat with me, fine, if they want to bi*ch, I really couldn't care less!

Why waste your time thinking about it? Those other people are clearly losers! Surely all that matters is that you and your horse are happy and healthy. If someone was neglecting their horse, yes I would probably shove my nose in and say something. Otherwise, live and let live. Don't care what other people think!

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In a way I agree with Saskia295. However I now realise that I was brainwashed into thinking it didnt really matter, when in actual fact it does matter what people think of me and my horse.
I find atmoshpheres and politics on yards incredibly draining and find myself going up there less and less.
I actually moved yards because of atmospheres and what people thought of me and my horse.
I now really think the other liveries matter more than facilities.
I wish I was as resiliant as you, but sadly am not.
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If other people's opinions didn't matter, then why would we show/do dressage etc? I realise that everyone on a yard is not necessarily qualified to GIVE an opinion that is sound, but we tend to set ourselves up for taking on comments/opinions by the very nature of certain types of competitions.

I used to keep my horse on a small yard where the big fish in the little pond very much kept me "in my place" without my realising it. I moved for a different reason, but it was after I was gone for a time that I could see more clearly what happened to me while I was there, my attitude etc. I moved closer to home for a place that had better facilities...I started riding much more, and overall the whole partnership I had with my horse improved because I WANTED to ride more and I WANTED to be around. There will always be folk that I maybe don't like or get on with, that's just human nature. But on a slightly bigger yard, it's diluted a bit by the folk that I really like and enjoy being around. I like to compete, but wouldn't bother if it wasn't something that I consider a hobby and enjoy doing on a day to day basis - so atmosphere is everything!

I'm considering myself really fortunate cos even though I'm horseless at the moment, I've been offered nice horses left right and center to ride-- just to keep me in the saddle. I wouldn't have had that before. I've been up to the yard every day this week to ride and am booked every day over the weekend too!
 
Also, meant to say that I realise that not everyone has a horse to be competitive...and if you don't compete and you want to just get on with your horse in peace then a yard where everyone else is sticking their nose in is just a pain in the backside.
 
I am not thick skinned so it would matter a great deal to me if my fellow liveries were all pointing and staring every time I rode my pony. It would take all the pleasure out of it for me personally.

Luckily, the yard I am on is brilliant. It's small with a varied mix of horses from actual racers to ex racers and dressage horses to retired ponies. There is no-one that I don't like, either equine or human. Facilities aren't absolutely brilliant as hacking is limited and we have to box up to go for a long hack but we have a lovely indoor school and there is always the chance to ride alone if you wish to do so.
 
I've had experiences on yards where horses were treated differently not because they were posh/not posh, competition horses or happy hackers but depending on which horse the other people or staff liked.

My horse is a TB and responds well to firm but sensitive handling. I always felt he was a fairly easy horse to handle. As I work longish hours I have him on 5 day livery so the yard have alot to do with him. At my first yard, all I got was complaints and bad reports on how awful he was. It took 2 people to change rugs and I got instructions on not to let other people lead him - this was my dope on a rope, cup of tea in one hand, horse on the end of a rope in the other hand. He was grumpy and unhappy, not helped by box rest.

I didn't move him as quickly as I should have as he was on box rest and didn't want to unsettle him but when I did, it was a completely different story. On the new yard people liked him, nothing to do with looks, type or competition record, they just liked him.
Yes he pulls faces when you change his rugs, but the staff laugh and ignore him and it doesn't escalate. He blossomed and is much happier. He does pull faces but instead of getting shouted at, people go up to him and tell him not to be so silly and he puts his ears forward and licks them.

He is currently away on rehab and the report I got back was that he had beautiful manners.

So I guess what I'm saying is that much more important than how smart the yard is, is that my horse is treated with sensitivity and respect.
 
Think too it depends on how horsey the people on the yard actually ARE. Of course people SHOULD be horsey if they have horses, but if they aren't terribly clued up or maybe a bit afraid, they might treat a quirky horse like a pariah. And equally, a PERSON who might do things just a little bit differently might also be considered weird and their ideas immediately cast off as nonsense. THat's been a difficult one for me because I came from a different country and our horsey culture somewhat different. Doesn't mean my way was right or wrong, just different. So I had a bit of schtick for that. :-/
 
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