Livery yards, how do you cope?!

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Charliepony

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Just a rant really!

I have recently moved to a livery yard after keeping my horse at home, due to needing access to an arena (I backed him last year, and after bringing him back into work in the summer, I need somewhere I can school even if it's raining!! :p)

Ahh it's driving me mad! People (often with little or no knowledge about horses or stable management) are constantly looking over my shoulder and making snide comments, and have apparently been talking about me behind my back! I'm too shy to say anything, I just nod and smile, but it's really taking the enjoyment out of going up to do my horse!

It's a pretty huge yard, and while most people have been nice and welcoming, a fair few have not!! A lot of them are well off older ladies who have their horses on full livery, I would have thought they'd be more polite and supportive, given their life experience, but some of them are so childish!! I'm 17 but I pay entirely for my horse, which means working my bum off (big warmblood, he eats a lot!) and I feel that I'm working ridiculously long hours to pay for livery that is making me miserable, and damaging my confidence in the way I manage my horse.

There's no other yards locally so I can't move, and like I said, I need the arena! I know I should just ignore it, but apparently the rude ones (it's one lady in particular) are saying things to the nice ones that are damaging their opinion of me. I don't feel like I've done anything wrong, I think maybe it's just the close proximity to so many other people is a bit of a shock to the system!! Should I stand up for myself? Or will that only make things worse?


Also! If you have a vicious kicky mare and tie her up in a narrow alley where people need to get past to stable their horse, surely it's only manners to push her out the way when people want to lead their pony past? I don't think I'm cut out for this!! :p
 
Best thing is to ignore them and just get on and enjoy your horse time. I tend to go up later, in fact I'm leaving in a minute, so that I can mess about without having to make conversation. I also totally ignore the yard bully, but that took me a year or so to do as it's a bit rude to totally ignore someone when you first get there! But you'll soon work out who is your friend and who isn't.
 
Poor you! Livery yards can be scary places, everyone has different oppinions and ways of doing their horses so it always tends to clash a bit.
The best way is just to be polite and friendly, say hello ect. but dont get overly involved in the yard politics. Just go and get on with what you need to do, look after your horse the way you want to and take no notice of people trying to tell you otherwise. :)
 
Yes, do stand up for yourself, but you can do it in a confidant friendly manner. Turn the tables by pretending to ask their advice (you don't have to take it!) and above all, compliment them on their fantastic horses! Can't hurt to try... madelynski
 
I've been on my best behaviour, but after two months the politness is wearing thin :p To be honest this last month has been rough with family stuff, I think I'm just permanently grumpy these days! I've tried subtle ignoring, but these people are very imposing, they come and stand in my stable while I'm mucking out, or stand and watch me sweep the yard!

I think you're right, going up later may well be a good idea! I think I'll rearrange the times I go up to slightly more antisocial hours :p

CrazyCob, the horse in your signiture is beautiful, exactly the same colour as my old boy, so sorry for your loss :(
 
Did you go to an all girls school? That prepares you well for livery yards! Just rise above it. I would guess many of them may not have been fortunate enough to have backed their own horses and if its anything like my experience they see it as an option for people who can't afford a finished one. Is there a chance you could go up when they are not there. I went to the yard when I had a free period next to lunch so no one was around also ment I could work evenings and earn more wonga.
And if all else fails: sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Chin up.
 
Welcome to the wonderful world of livery yards, I've been through the same op and it's not fun considering the vast amount of your hard earned salary going towards the livery bill + everything else horse related. Glad my lovely lady is out on loan now, I can have a peaceful life.. for now at least ;)
 
Is there a YO or YM that can sort it out for you! I'm lucky to be on a fantastic yard with a YO that is on top of everything and won't take bitchyness (sp) so not all yards are bad. But I would definately stand up for yourself, ask her direct what her problem is, you can do it in a nice way, say that if there is a promblem that you naware of, then would she like to discuss it with you rather than others!
Good luck..
 
ok first of all a big hug for paying your way and doing whats right for you and your horse - you star x and keep in touch how you go
secondly mmmmm livery yard politics but hey go up with smile and chat to ppl you want to - the rest foget them. concentrate on your horse and you forget them and SMILE . i go to my yard just chat WHEN i want to ignore snide comeents **** oh i see so more horses out no rugs on so was i that cruel last year or was the talk from WHW ****MMMM sorry when im at yard i say f off to the yard bitches and im happy :)
 
I know you said you're shy and don't want confrontation, but I think you definitely need to speak to this person. I have had a similar situation this week where chinese whispers got out of hand, so I just approached the person concerned and said "Have I done something to upset you?". She said "No, why?" and I told her what I heard she had been saying. Anyway, it was nothing like what I had heard and when we realised what it was, it had been totally twisted out of all proportion. So I would wait until you see this woman on her own and approach her and ask what you've done to upset her. You can ask in a nice, sympathetic way. This way, she has to answer you, and if she is on her own with none of her cronies around, you might find she takes the front off. She also might see you as a threat, or be jealous of your horse, so I know it's hard, but be brave otherwise it will go on and on. Befriend the Bully!! x
 
aww. first off 17 and working all the hours to support your horse!!! This is so rare i really dont want to patronise you but well done. I had my horse in a very small livery last year and my god yuk!! Other lady was a pampered princess who had her mum and bloke running round like little skivies barking orders at them! After 6 months of diva tantrums and vicous jealousy every time i got on my horse i decided enough was enough. You are paying (like i was) a lot of money to be made miserable by these over pampered divas. the root of their behaviour is almost certainly jealousy.... maybe because you can still move your eyebrows or something daft like that. These people are not healthy to be around and they can really spoil your day... i moved and have never looked back!
 
Turn up, do your jobs, smile and be polite to people who are around/walk past you and then go home.

If you want to make friends hang around in the brew room/tack room and join with the banter otherwise leave the cowbags to it and as long as your getting out of your horse what you want, why do you give a rats bum what other people think.

Every livery yard big or small have witches and once you've sussed out which ones they are, avoid and chat to the nice folks.

To be honest the witches are normally witches to/about everyone so the nice folks will know what they are like and take anything they say with a pinch of salt.
 
Charliepony said:
they come and stand in my stable while I'm mucking out, or stand and watch me sweep the yard!
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Ask them politely if you can help with anything? Why would they come into your stable if not to ask you something?

As for watching you sweep the yard - next time someone stands and watches you, hand them a broom and ask them to help.

I thank goodness that the yard my daughter and I are on is very small and we are only one of 3 liveries there!
 
I ride in the morning before college before anyone gets there and in the evening headphones in keep your head down smile at everyone and get on with what you need to do. My yard has a very bad rep for being a bitchy yard and its the only way I can go up their and get home without bursting into tears
 
Christmas Boxes said:
Ask them politely if you can help with anything? Why would they come into your stable if not to ask you something?

As for watching you sweep the yard - next time someone stands and watches you, hand them a broom and ask them to help.
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Yeah I was shocked at that, how incredibly rude. Good advice from CB.

I'd probably sweep right over their feet if they did that to me!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Christmas Boxes View Post
Ask them politely if you can help with anything? Why would they come into your stable if not to ask you something?

As for watching you sweep the yard - next time someone stands and watches you, hand them a broom and ask them to help.

LittleBlackMule said:
Yeah I was shocked at that, how incredibly rude. Good advice from CB.

I'd probably sweep right over their feet if they did that to me!
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Great advice, I would do this. I used to like going up before or after others, often had my big old livery yard to myself. Now I cannot escape the lady at my small yard which is a real blooming shame, she really is not very nice I have come to discover!
The listening to music sounds like a great idea too
 
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