loan

[HorseMad91]

hiya
Sorry for the long post.
my daughters pony is out on loan because he was to forward going for her, now two years on my daughters riding has really come on and she now needs a more forward going pony.The people loaning my pony don't seem bothered about his weight even though I have told them many times how overweight he is and the little girl who rides him is getting to big for him so they can't get a saddle that fits the pony and her but they think it will be ok to just put a bigger saddle on him even though his back is to short. So I've just informed them that I am not going to be renewing the contract when it comes to an end but their more then welcome to still come and see him when their passing as I know how attached to the pony the little girl is so I wanted to give them option. Now I'm being told I've ruined Christmas and I'm destroying the little girls life by taking away her horse they wanted to keep him forever, the pony is the little girls whole world and how could I be so heartless, I'm being completely unfair to the girl. I'm trying to be as nice as I can about it but I need to think of what my daughter happiness as well they knew I was going to have the pony back eventually. Ever since the pony went out on loan my daughter has said I'm going to keep trying and get better at riding so I can have my pony back and she's only 5 and has worked so hard.
Am I being reasonable to the family or am I being unfair? I have tried to be as nice as I can about it I get that their upset but I don't see why they have to be so nasty about it, I want to do what's best for the pony and my daughter.
thanks

 

[sychnant]

If they want to keep a horse forever they need to shell out and BUY one. You are not being unfair. It's YOUR pony!

 

[Dizzle]

If they want to keep a horse forever they need to shell out and BUY one. You are not being unfair. It's YOUR pony!

This. Totally this. Your horse, your right to have her back, especially if they aren't keeping her as you'd like.

 

[rara007]

Such is the risk of a loan! I would hope the child realised that the pony was a loan and her parents set her up for what that meant. I took my pony back last year for personal reasons from an adult loan home and there was enough long faces and narky messages from mutual friends about that!

 

[HorseMad91]

That's what I thought why not just buy one because they asked me if I would ever sell him and I said no because he was in a bad way when I got him and I couldnt bare the idea of it happening to him again and my daughters love him so we agreed he would go on loan until she was ready for him. Now i'm being made out to be some sort of monster

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

It's a loan, the contract will not be renewed. Your pony which can be looked after by you to the standards you want.

What more is there to say? I bet the parents haven't been entirely honest with the child. If they're being nasty about it then what does it say about them? You've been polite and given them notice. Plenty of time for them to make other arrangements.

 

[Orca]

To be honest, I'd have had him back as soon as I realised they weren't managing his weight. Obviously, sticking a saddle (and rider!) on him that's too big is likely to cause pain and potentially damage. You would be within your rights to take him back immediately (and maybe already should have) let alone waiting until the contract ends.

I was offered a loan horse and decided against, purely because I didn't want my children to be let down in the future. That is my responsibility, just as supporting their daughter is theirs and certainly not yours. Offering to let her stay in touch is kind of you. I'd warn the parents that that offer will be retracted, if they keep pressuring and bullying you about your decision. How dare they! Don't feel bad.

 

[Goldenstar]

Get the pony back ASAP much easier to deal with the weight issue in the winter .
It's the risk you take when you loan .
Don't get dragged into a whole lot of angst .

 

[Pearlsasinger]

"I am sorry that you feel that way but the pony is mine and my daughter is now ready to ride her as we planned all along." is all that you need to say.

 

[be positive]

Considering they have allowed him to become overweight and are using a saddle that doesn't fit they are lucky you have not just announced that you are picking him up ASAP due to them not keeping to the contract, as already said if they want a forever pony they will need to buy one, if they have failed to be honest with their child then it is their fault no need to try and put the blame on you and make you out to be the bad guy.

 

[Fiona]

I have a pony on loan for my son, and its a risk I take that the owner might want him back. ..

In my case its not likely as he is outgrown by their family, but the chance is there...

Fiona

 

[HorseMad91]

I'm dreading going to pick him up cause I know their going to cause problems, the little girl is 10 so I feel she should of been explained to that the pony was only on loan to them. I feel awful even though I know i've got no reason to which is why I said they could visit but I'm not going to let them if they keep being so nasty about it.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

"I am sorry that you feel that way but the pony is mine and my daughter is now ready to ride her as we planned all along." is all that you need to say.

Spot on, the right thing to say
Collect this weekend so things are not protracted

 

[Orca]

Take a friend with you maybe? Also aim for a time when their daughter won't be there if possible. Hopefully that way she can say her goodbyes in peace and not amidst whatever haranguing her parents intend and you won't have to take the pony from under her nose, given you already feel awful.

 

[HorseMad91]

I'm going to ask my friend if she'll take me in her lorry so I'm not by myself and I've said i'll pick him up when ever is best for her so not to cause more upset then needed but I don't see why I should keep going out of my way to be nice when the parents can't do the same

 

[wills_91]

When does the contract end? It's hard to not feel bad when a child is involved but at the end of the day the pony is not being cared for correctly and that's that. Sounds a good idea to take someone with you.

 

[HorseMad91]

It ends in a couple of weeks. I feel really bad for how upset she is but I've got to do what's best.

 

[Goldenstar]

Of course the child's upset put it's really up to the parents to deal with her sensibly .

 

[miss_c]

"I am sorry that you feel that way but the pony is mine and my daughter is now ready to ride her as we planned all along." is all that you need to say.

This this this! Polite and to the point.

I'm not sure how you are ruining Christmas which is one month away... (eek, might have to start shopping) Surely part of loaning is knowing that the pony may be taken back at any point? Very sad that they feel the need to be like that, but I wish you the best and hope you soon have your pony home and your daughter enjoys riding!

 

[HorseMad91]

Apparently I'm ruining Christmas because they've bought loads of stuff for her and the pony but they've got other ponies as well. I said to the parents I'm trying to be as kind about it as possible and give you enough notice so you've got time to say goodbye so it's easier on your daughter and I have always said you can come and visit but I also have to consider what is best for my daughter as well.

I think they expect me to go and buy my daughter another pony so this one can stay out on loan with them but I can't just keep collecting ponies and my daughter has loved this pony since I got him when she was 2 years old. He was scared of everyone apart from my little girl he'd walk straight up to her and put his head down for a cuddle and he's still the same with her when we've been and visited, so I think she deserves the chance to see how well she can do with him.
I just wish they'd stop making me out to be such a horrible person its getting silly

 

[pepsimaxrock]

use that excellent form of words listed earlier.
And tell them that its they who are being unfair.
And Christmas has nothing to do with it.
Take the pony and walk away

 

[madlady]

Totally unfair of the parents to have a go at you.

Just carry on being polite but firm. He is your pony bought for your daughter. Maybe a thank you card (for the child) for looking after the pony might be a nice gesture?

 

[HorseMad91]

That seems a nice idea I might have to do that
I just really hope they don't cause problems when we go get him as he's terrible to be caught since he's been with them and I can see them taking his head collar off and just leaving him in the field for when we get there so we struggle to get him.

 

[Orca]

The thank you card is a lovely idea!

Although I've avoided a loan for my family, my first pony was a loan pony. There was none of this silliness when he went home, we were just grateful to have had him at all (and I am to this day!).

I would just set a date and time for collection, specify that you want the pony in and contained, ready for travel and disengage from any further negative communication. They are obviously intent on demonising you and really, it's unacceptable for you to be subjected to this haranguing.

 

[willhegofirst]

We had a couple of ponies on loan for my son when he was young, we managed to have the second pony just before the first went back, we had had him three years, so a long time for a small child, my son was very tearful as pony was loaded, but we popped him on the new pony and went out for a hack, the tears soon dried. The parents need to grow up and sort something out for their daughter, not put the blame on you. Hope it all goes smoothly when you go to get him.

 

[HorseMad91]

That is exactly what I did when this pony went out on loan I had my daughters new pony arrive very quickly and explained to her why her pony had to go out on loan for a while and she was ok with it, the same as now her pony is coming home I've explained that her pony she currently has is going to a friends to teach their little girl to ride and even at 5 years old she's abit upset but she understands and is ok about it.
I've stopped replying to them now there is nothing else I can say as their just intent on slagging me off and pointing how much I'm destroying their daughters life, their just behaving like children. I'll just text them a date and a time to have him ready for.

 

[WelshD]

Don't forget that once this is over you may never see the people again and in a few months time none of this will matter, try not to worry to much
!
they are obviously lashing out because they face a disappointed child and some people do lose sense of proportion when it comes to their kids

 

[sandi_84]

Don't let them make you feel bad, it was clear from the start this was a temporary loan and they accepted that when they took the pony. In addition your warning(s) about his weight management were ignored.
If there are any strops on the day I would calmly and politely point the above out and carry on.

Be prepared for the pony to be out in the furthest away field possible and to have to hunt down his things from all corners of the yard - in short prepare for the worst.
If that does happen, try not to get angry just stay calm, get pony home and then have a vent when you get in. At least you will have your daughters beloved pony back from people who were not taking proper care if him.

 

[FfionWinnie]

Get there an hour early to ensure there are no shenanigans with catching him and maintain the moral high ground whatever they say.

 

[HorseMad91]

Im still receiving awful messages telling me what a bad person I am it's beyond a joke now