Long distance relationships, can they work?

twiggy2

twiggy2

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Well after more moons than I care to count (and there have been lots and lots and lots) I appear on paper to have met a man that ticks all the boxes we have explored.
I met him on muddy matches a few weeks ago and we have so much in common, my life especially for a women has and is a little unusual to say the least, for one I am very independent and it appears that this scares a lot of men away.
I am way down in the south East of Essex and he is in the toppermost parts of Scotland, however he is travelling down so we can met up in a few weeks.
Usually I chat to a man via online dating and get bored with them very quickly because they either are wanting a wife at home (I would rather go to work with them) or we just don't have anything in common.
I will be so disappointed if we don't like each in person as we really click.
You stories please and some support to keep my brave pants on...
 
Asha

Asha

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I met my hubby on holiday in Ibiza, nearly 30 years ago. I lived in Oldham, and he lived in Wales. Then a few years into our relationship he was in devon, and I was in Leeds. We used to meet up in the middle( Nuneaton) we had some fab times !!
 
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Tash88

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Perhaps posted on the wrong part of the forum but I will reply anyway!

I think it can work if you both want it to, and I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will come to you with amazing romantic stories of long-distant relationships working out.

However it is hard work, and not to mention expensive and time-consuming. I've done it myself (me in London and him in Durham, met when he was working in London for a few weeks) so not quite your distance but near enough! It lasted for a few months before the cracks showed; he was quite an insecure person and I can be as well, which didn't help. But I don't think we would have necessarily stayed together if we had been in the same area.

I think you've got nothing to lose by meeting him, but with the additional logistics, expense and planning needed, all very unromantic things, you will need to be extra honest and open with each other from the beginning. He must be at least as interested as you are if he's travelling down to meet you. Just see how it goes but be prepared to take things very slowly, and there is no place for jealousy in such a relationship, although it doesn't sound like you are the jealous type anyway.

Good luck!
 
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Wheels

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What have you got to lose? Meet up, see what life is like.

When I met my husband he lived in Northern Ireland and I lived in east mids of England. I had some great trips to NI and we met up in England too. Every date was super special because we knew we would be apart too soon.

We were engaged after 3 months and I moved to NI 5 months later. That was 10 years ago

Go for It!
 
twiggy2

twiggy2

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Wheels said:
What have you got to lose? Meet up, see what life is like.

When I met my husband he lived in Northern Ireland and I lived in east mids of England. I had some great trips to NI and we met up in England too. Every date was super special because we knew we would be apart too soon.

We were engaged after 3 months and I moved to NI 5 months later. That was 10 years ago

Go for It!
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Perfect
 
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Adonissaan

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The top of Scotland and Essex isn't so bad!

I was married to a foreigner and it didn't work out but a 6 hour flight really was too much as well as the huge amount of things to do before even allowed to live in the same country.

Considering the reasons we didn't work out doesn't apply to you I would say you definitely have a chance!

Being Scottish and English too there wouldn't be a language or cultural barrier either so I wouldn't worry too much :)
 
Amye

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They can and do work, if both people are willing to put the effort in!

I haven't done it myself, but I have a Uni friend who did it for 4 years. She met her now husband on holiday in America and they started dating. They kept in touch throughout Uni and he would come over here for Christmas normally and she would go there at Easter or summer etc. They would skype almost every night. After Uni she did a masters and lived over there for a few months, then she had to spend the rest of her time back over in England. I think she had a job over here for a few months after her masters but then she moved over there and they got married.

They both cared for each other a lot which kept the relationship going and neither were jealous types and they felt secure with each other. I'm sure there were troubles that I wasn't aware of but I think they are a perfect example of how long distance can work.

I think see how it goes for now, there's no harm. Obviously if things do take a more serious turn then there will have to be compromises with living arrangements etc. But it's early days so I'd just go for it and see :)
 
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ossy

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I met my now husband on a girls party holiday in Greece, I lived in Scotland him cheshire, that was 11 yrs ago now. I moved to cheshire about 3yrs in after we got engaged. In the early days it was just a bit of fun so wasn’t bothered about distance it suited me really but once you realise you might actually want it to last you have to then accept someone or both are going to have to move.
 
twiggy2

twiggy2

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Wheels said:
Congrats twiggy! How is your new home?
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I love it, completely new lifestyle, I moved up before we became an item as it was time for a change.

chickeninabun said:
o_O I didn't realise until your last post that I was reading an old thread! Amazing! Congratulations :)
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Thank you

Widgeon said:
Wow! Really glad to hear things worked out that well! How're you finding the top end of Scotland?
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The people are very friendly, the place is beautiful and life is good.

Antw23uk said:
Dont send him any money!!
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I am living with him not giving him money, he is generous to a fault so I have no concerns on that front but I am good with my money never fear.

So he is kind, funny and thoughtful, a messy sweet toothed smoker, he has a genuine feeling for animals and the patience of a saint with the dogs. I realise it's early days but I feel very lucky.
 
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Toby_Zaphod

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"
I met my hubby on holiday in Ibiza, nearly 30 years ago. I lived in Oldham, and he lived in Wales. Then a few years into our relationship he was in devon, and I was in Leeds. We used to meet up in the middle( Nuneaton) we had some fab times !!"

I'm just amazed that someone has had fab times in Nuneaton!! :(
 
PapaverFollis

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Didn't realise I was reading an old thread until you updated! You must be near me now? Right at the tippy top? I didn't think there were any HHOers up here. 😁
 
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