Long thread :Advice reassurance please, settling my new horse.

[Ideal]

Hi all ( Sorry for long thread )

I have only just joined today so hello everyone and a bit about me. I have always been a horsey person riding from the age of 5 . Had a massive break through living in London now back in Essex. I have been loaning a horse for the last year or so and getting back into it again he is not a novice ride very forward going. I also had a few months lessons at the local riding school. Have loved being back around horses and as my loan horse was just for hacking. I decided to get my own horse as I want to do more. I tried lots of horses and took knowledgeable experienced people with me from my yard with me to all viewings. Anyway I found Ben viewed him twice and hacked him out. Had him fully vetted etc. Bombproof schoolmaster , confidence giver ...... 12 years old , 16.2 , warmblood .

He arrived on Thursday and I have completely lost all my confidence. Doubting everything I do , he seemed happy ish in his new stable on Thursday.Friday the weather was bad so the horses stayed in . I rode Friday evening in the school just for 15 mins, with my instructor and friend on the ground. He was spooky but it was ,windy and dark (though floodlit ) I came off but just a spook . I got back on but then began to feel nervous.

Saturday was his first day out ( I don't think he has been turned out in a field for some time ) and I received a text saying he had reared , kicked and escaped on route to the field. I got really upset ( I do worry alot ) thinking what have I done . Maybe I should not of got a horse ( I have wanted one desperately since 5 I am now 35!!!! ) . I was advised a Chifney bit would now be used on him . I got him in with a friend using the Chifney bit and he was a good boy. I rode again in the school but just felt really nervous, scared and tense and tearful.

Sunday I was told he was a good boy on his way to the field with the Chifney and coming in he was fine, he came in first. He was really unsettled and neighing and escaped from me on the yard and scared me again. Once his new horse neighbours came in he calmed down and started munching his hay net whilst I tacked him up. My friend lunged him first, he was better in the school tonight and I had a lesson. He is actually very lazy and needs lots of leg , but I am happy with that as I think if he was zooming about I would lose all my nerve.

I just want to know if how he is settling in and my lack of confidence is normal ? Any other advice on building confidence and him settling him in would be appreciated .

Thank you for reading

 

[smellsofhorse]

He sounds normal!
he is stressed, in a new home with a new person.

keep to his routine, do little things with him but dont push him to much, you dont want him to explode!
Short rides are good, lots of ground work and just handle him and spend time around him.

Is he turnout with others?
He needs time to adjust into the heard and could be getting picked on.
If with others he should be introduced gradually.
If on his own make sure he can see other horses so he doesnt feel alone.

take it slowly and you will be fine together!

 

[Ideal]

Hi Kate

Thank you for reply . He is out in a field on his own but horses in adjacent fields. The 2 horses he will hopefully be going out with are in the field next to him. So a few days on his own and then I think they will try them together.

It's reassuring to hear it all sounds normal !!!

 

[PeterNatt]

I always allow 2 years to get a complete bond with a new horse. A new horse in a new environment and with a new owner will be apprehensive of their new surroundings. Horses are very sensitive to new smells, sounds and the sight of new things in their new surroundings. You will now need to put your horse in to a regular and relaxed routine and eventually he will settle. You will also need to bond with your new horse. Try to give your new horse nice regular long grooms and get to know him. When leading him, turning him out or bringing him in always wear a hard hat just in case as his new surroundings will be strange to him. Always talk to your new horse in a quiet voice so that he gets used to your voice. Try to do as much as possible with your new horse yourself rather than let others do it and it is you that he needs to bond with. Take everything nice and slowly and do everything in small achievable steps. Good luck with your new horse - you will have great fun together once everything has settled down.

 

[Ideal]

Thank you Peter , he is part livery so he is turned out and brought in for me. The yard sticks to a routine with feed times and turning out, bringing in which is great. But everything else I will be doing myself. I feel better already just from reading my 2 replies. I will keep spending time with him , grooming him and getting to know him. I think I am overwhelmed with the reality of after 30 years of wanting a horse. My dream has come true and I want it to go smoothly. I am a worry wart .

Thank you for advice

 

[littlescallywag]

Its taken my horse nearly 2 years to settle, I did exactly the same as you, started worrying I wasn't cut out for horse ownership, lost confidence in my ability to do everything.
I Got back into horses after 16 yrs.
Take things slowly,lots of grooming and groundwork and just being with him.
Try and stick to a routine as much as possible and keep mentally calm

 

[hobgoblin]

I've owned my horse for 8 years and he can still exhibit this behaviour if he gets a bee in his bonnet it's just normal horse behaviour!

 

[Black_Horse_White]

I know exactly how you feel, although this is my 4 horse I keep stressing. He's the biggest horse I've owned and very strong. Although he is a good boy he's still a little jumpy out hacking. I know I'm more than competent but I just find myself very nervous when hacking him. Which isn't good as he is the type of horse that takes his confidence from me. I've only had him a few weeks and slowly he is settling. I'm sure in a few months when we know each other better we will be out and about having lots of fun. And so will you, good luck to us both x

 

[heidiharvsnroo]

My mare was a bit like this.

To be fair she settled very well in her stable, but she was out in a field on her own next to my friends 2 and she became very attached to them, to the extent that if my friend took hers out hacking or to a show, she would start to box walk and shout for them.

What settled her right down was when I moved her into a field with another mare. The other mare had been out with 2 other horses which had left so I put Ninj out with her and since then she's been fine.

I can now put her out alone and she's happy to wait for Jazz to come and join her. This took a while, and lots of me swapping and changing the order I put them out in in the moring. BUT what I can't do is bring Jazz in before her. She goes nuts.

This might be something she settles out of, might not. But all in all she's done well.

I also found hacking her for a bit before introducing her to work in the school helped. Just for 15/20 minutes at a time I pottered down the lane.

 

[finkle]

I bought my daughters pony this year and she took 2 months to settle down completely. She had been in her previous home for 6 years and my daughter had ridden her there for a year before we bought her..so we knew her well.
If we had bought her from someone we didnt know we would have probably sworn we had made a mistake in buying her as she was a total nightmare!
Wouldnt settle in the stable or the field and walked up and down all the time round the fencing. She had horses next door for company and after a few weeks she was introduced to them and she became relaxed and back to her former self.
I suppose my point is just how stressful some horses must find moving homes...I honestly thought she would settle a lot sooner than she did having known her but it took a good few weeks before she came back to the pony we knew.

 

[AngieandBen]

I got my new pony yesterday wouldn't dream of riding her for at least a couple of weeks, or however long it takes for her to settle down. She's out 24/7 with my other two and grazing quite happily although not together yet.

I intend to leave her out for a couple of days, then start bringing in with the others in the morning for breakfast a groom and some inhand hacking around the village before I get on.

Horse are very individual when it comes to new homes, I can tell Cookie will take a while. Ben on the other hand was at home in minutes

Dont be under any pressure to do everything, it will take as long as it takes!

 

[Ideal]

Really appreciate your replies they really help. He seemed a bit more chilled today and the staff at the yard said he was a good boy going out and coming in. They are still using the Chifney bit for now.

I am very nervous about hacking him out , but plan to try and go in the school again tomorrow ( weather permitting ). Whilst people about as I know people can't keep holding my hand .

I wish you could buy confidence !!! I was so excited when he arrived on Thursday, smilling and hugging everyone . Now I have turned into a nervous wreck, doubting everything I do !!! Help

 

[Honey08]

Poor you! Don't worry, it will get better. Just take your time, keep riding in the school with other people around until you get your confidence. Leave the hacking out for a week or so. Let him settle in his new home and get used to his new friends. When you do hack out, go with one of the more sensible of his friends.

Like people have said, just spend time with him and get to know him. You will get there, and you will look back and wonder what you were worried about one day.

Keep having the lessons with your instructor too.

Best of luck. You will get there.

Ps. I would always gently ride a new horse within the first few days, nothing stressful, but start his routine and get him used to you. I sometimes think leaving them lets them build up energy and makes it even harder when you do get on them!

 

[starryeyed]

It's perfectly normal for him to be unsettled when he first arrives.Everything will be strange and new to him & he'll be with horses and people he doesn't know, so he might be a bit of a nightmare at first. The key is to spend a lot of time with him so that he bonds with you, and to have a good routine. As you say the yard is good with routine this will definitely help him, so that's good - horses like to know what's happening at a certain time so hopefully when he's worked out what happens & when , that will help to settle him a bit. Once he's got to know some horsey friends he will hopefully be a bit happier too.
Spend time with him on the ground for a few days, to build both of your confidences back up. Spend a lot of time grooming, stroking and talking with him. Practise "back", "over" etc, make sure he listens to your commands in hand so that he understands what he's supposed to be doing & is less likely to mess about. Always reward him vocally for good behaviour, try not to depend on treats as he might take advantage.
When you next ride him, take it steady - just a little potter round the school, maybe have a friend nearby just to be there for you if you need it. Don't pressure yourself, you're still getting to know each other and if you're nervous and worrying then he will be too - so just take it slow! Reward him for good behaviour, give him lots of fuss afterwards. For the first time you hack out, I'd definitely bring someone with you if possible - preferably someone with a calm reliable horse, as this will give him confidence in a new place, as most horses will be a bit worried when they first go adventuring.

Hope things start going smoother for you, and remember - smile and try not to worry! Don't be afraid to ask for help or advice from others, either on the yard or on here - you're bound to have questions! Take some rescue remedy if you think it will help you, it'll all start to come easy in time. Let us know how it goes xx

 

[BlueFire710]

When i sold my last horse he went to someone who'd had a break from riding. The horse was an angel to hack and was an impeccable dressage horse. The lady who bought him had been to see lots and lots of horses as she knew she needed a very calm quiet horse but who she could compete successfully with time. She hacked him out, passed a group of joggers without him batting an eyelid and (along with all the other things) she knew he was for her.

When she got him home (the setup was very different to ours), he was very stressed and she got in touch saying she wanted him to come back as he was so scary for her. We gently told her to give it more time and recommended that she do the things others on here have said - lungeing before riding, taking things slow, lots of grooming and in hand work to build both a bond and respect.

A few days later she told us she got overwhelmed but that everything was then fine and we now get videos of them doing brilliantly, glowing email updates and she will be his forever home - they have a fantastic bond and are both very happy.

You sound as if you tried him thoroughly and the right boxes were ticked which i think means that given time everything will work out as you hoped. It is understandable that you're confidence has become a little shaky but persevere and remain calm when around your horse at all times, take things at your pace - i'm sure you'll both end up doing wonderfully!
Best of luck!

 

[Ideal]

What a friendly helpful forum .
The yard manager said she will hack out with me at some point, her horse is a real confidence giver. I have been rewarding good behaviour with strokes and scratches. He loves his cheekbone being scratched !!! I have not given him food treats yet .
I will try some rescue remedy , I have not used it before but if it takes the edge off my nerves that would be great

 

[Mince Pie]

Hi hun, I have been around horses for 16 years and tend to make my money by riding youngsters and fit competition horses - both of which are likely to "throw some shapes". I have never had a problem until my new horse arrived in April, I went from a 13.1hh welsh c to a 16.2hh TB! For the first few rides I was very nervous as she had stood bolt upright several times before my first ride. After a while though I got used to her and regained my confidence.

I think it's because the final decisions end with you when it's your own horse, also if a loan/share horse does something you don't like then you can always give them back which you can't do with your own. I'd suggest getting a couple of lessons which should hopefully help you start to form a partnership.

 

[mystiandsunny]

Poor baby's just unsettled and stressed in a new place with no-one he knows. You need to be the leader and settle him, develop a bond to give him confidence, give him time to settle with his new herd mates. Then he'll be the horse you tried. Imagine how you'd feel if you were him.

So yeah - this is normal. Give him time.

 

[Ideal]

Thank you for responses and advice , every post was useful and reassuring. He seemed pretty chilled today . I gave him a really nice long groom and lunged him . He has become fond of his neighbour a very pretty mare !! I realsie now it will be a long but rewarding ( hopefully ) process.
I will keep you posted

 

[Ideal]

realise

 

[Booboos]

Take a deep, deep breath and smile, you are doing fine!!!!

All new horses are unsettled in a new environment and if he hasn't had turnout in his previous home that and the horrible weather won't help. Separate the handling from the ridden problems, just because he was a little bit on edge in hand does NOT mean he will be on edge ridden, so try not to worry about riding him just because he needs the chiffney to go out. Most horses need a bit of time to figure out the yard's routine, the turn out order etc. If he is safer in a chifney, keep him in a chifney for a while.

As for riding, personally I think it's best to get on and keep a horse busy and exercised, but not if it's stressing you out too much! Lunge him before you get on him and get a lesson every time you ride for the next week or two - yes it will cost a bit of money but it will be money well spent to build up your confidence. If you can get someone more experienced to hack him out for you 3-4 times so that he learns the hacks. I am sure he would be fine with you, but if you are nervous and he is in a new place it could lead to unnecessary problems. If someone else hacks him a few times you will feel more confident as you will know he never put a foot wrong and that will make him feel more secure.

And photos, they are obligatory you know!

 

[kinnygirl1]

Hi there. I have sort of been through the same thing when I got my new horse in March after a long break from horse ownership... I worried about everything and convinced myself that I had made a massive mistake and would ruin my pony through my lack of knowledge, this even though my new pony had settled well and was quite chilled out in his new home. I think it's as big a change for us sometimes as it is for them ( a bit like bringing a new baby home from the hospital) Give it time and things will come right. remember you have all the time in the world to build a bond and take it day by day. Somedays when I first got Stanley, I didn't ride just groomed him, or just got on for 5 mins and walked him round the farm. So glad I stuck at it cos in November we came 5th in a dressage comp which made my year!

Good luck - keep us updated and post some pics!

 

[becky_bongoose]

Hi, I was also like this, I bought my first horse in June after doing a year of lessons once a week. When I got her to my yard she was different to before, she became attached to her horsey friends and became a bit spooky while out hacking\napping. I lost confidence after a fall and was overwhelmed and thought I was silly to get her. But after a lot of bonding and taking things slow she is perfect, sometimes I think I wish I could hack out anywhere and anytime but I don't feel were there yet but we will eventually but for now we go a bit at a time. So don't worry and take things as slow as you like because there's no rush hope this helps

 

[Puddock]

It does sound like it's just teething probs - you will get there. Did he come from a private home or a dealer?

One thing I was going to ask - are you experienced in the use of a Chifney? They can be dangerous things if you're not sure.

Anyway, welcome to the forum, congratulations on your new horse - and where are the pictures?

 

[Ideal]

It does sound like it's just teething probs - you will get there. Did he come from a private home or a dealer?

One thing I was going to ask - are you experienced in the use of a Chifney? They can be dangerous things if you're not sure.

Anyway, welcome to the forum, congratulations on your new horse - and where are the pictures?

Hiya

Ben is on part livery , so the experienced yard staff use the Chifney when they turn him out and bring him in. I won't lie I had never heard of one before. He has not reared since Saturday , which is when he first went out. I doubt he has been turned out for some time. Poor lad.
I bought him from a dealers. Tonight I lunged him and did some walk trot in the school for 15 minutes. He was a good boy. I am just rather nervous of everything and doubting myself.
I just want him to settle and be happy . after a wanting a horse for over 30 years , I have a lot of love to give him

I will sort out some pictures . A friend took some fab ones of him bucking in the field and rolling about .

Really grateful for the replys and reassurance . It's very friendly on here I like that

 

[Puddock]

Excellent, you are making progress! Just remember to take baby steps and your confidence in each other will soon grow. Sorry, was just asking about the chifney as they can cause nasty injuries if incorrectly used.

I really look forward to seeing some pics showing how you're getting on!

 

[Ideal]

Excellent, you are making progress! Just remember to take baby steps and your confidence in each other will soon grow. Sorry, was just asking about the chifney as they can cause nasty injuries if incorrectly used.

I really look forward to seeing some pics showing how you're getting on!

It's absolutely fine asking about the Chifney ( I certainly did not mean to come across like I minded if anything it's good to know about them ) as I have no experience of them at all ( I had never even seen one ) . I don't know how long they will use it on him for . But if it makes turning him out safe for the time being that's fine. I am also very lucky with my yard as the staff are helpful and friendly as well as being very experienced. I know them well as I have been loaning a horse there for the last year. I didn't want Ben anywhere else!!!

Baby steps is good. I think I expected him to arrive and settle in immediately ! Thank you for replying though

 

[luckyoldme]

just another one to tell you its all perfectly normal... Mine was the same and we have had three years now of amazing adventures. It took about a year to settle him completely but we were hacking out together long before that. You learn all the time. I thought i had done an amazing job turning him from a monster into a really chilled out dude. Ive only just found out that he is actually still a nob with other people!

 

[Ladydragon]

I just want him to settle and be happy . after a wanting a horse for over 30 years , I have a lot of love to give him

I can so relate to that comment Ideal... I got to forty *cough* years and a few wrinkles before finally getting my mitts on my own, real, live horse...

For a few reasons it's been a fabulous journey for the whole family... I've had a similarly interesting (ha ha) time recently settling in a two year old into our yard who's come pretty much straight from the field - but we've bonded really nicely...

Put it this way... I'm a mum of five, so got that T shirt; but I know if someone left a new kiddie in my home there'd be some chaos and issues until everything fell into place... Any relationship is going to take time to develop... You and your boy will get there...

 

[OldNag]

I can really empathise. I got my first this year and I'm in my forties.

My lad is a lovely natured thing but it took him a good week to start to settle and I find him more settled each week (we're just a few weeks in).

It actually took me several days to feel ready to ride him, sounds daft I know, but for first few days I just lunged him.

He's doing well, and we're learning all the time. He's still finding things to spook at in the outdoor arena and I realise it's going to take a good while for him to settle completely. I have massive bouts of self-doubt quite reguarly but like you, mine's on part livery so I can get advice and help whenever I need it.

Hope this helps.