Looking homeless at the yard . . .

[thenervouscob]

Is it just me?

I always pop up the yard wearing whatevers comfy, wellies & whatever coat I can find, hair scraped back with no make up. How on earth do the majority of other owners rock up immaculately with a full face of makeup, pristine hair, clothing & manage to leave in pretty much the same state, whereas I'm covered in slobber with hay stuck to every possible surface looking like Worzel Gummidge?! lol!! Don't get me wrong I can matchy matchy with the best of them for lesssons & dress smart when needs be but day to day, no way will I hack in my best jodhpurs & its inevitable I'll get caught in brambles down the bridleway or snagged in branches. Am I missing a trick? How on earth do people do it as I'd love to know!

 

[Flicker]

No clue. All I can think is that they don’t actually do that much while they’re there. I matchy in shades of brown, navy and grey and I STILL look like I’ve been dragged across a muddy field when I’m done. And my horse is on part livery. God only knows what I’d look like if I was in DIY

 

[JFTDWS]

I live in jeans and a hoodie (or a polo shirt / hi vis t shirt if it's warm) on the yard, coupled to old trainers in summer or wellies in winter. There is most definitely no make up involved, and it's a good day if my hair has seen a brush and doesn't resemble a dead, matted long-haired ferret. Of course, it's the accessories which make an outfit, so I set mine off with my archaic, cheap, digital watch and an array of stains - slobber, horse feed, or whatever cream I might have applied to a nose. It is a strong aesthetic...

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I learnt someone's little secret when I went to view a horse at a yard and had some time to hang around (always worth doing, you never know what you might see!). The time would have been about 6pm or thereabouts.

Saw an owner just puddling around, like you do, didn't really pay much attention TBH. She was wearing a pair of nondescript overalls/boiler suit, a pair of mucky boots (as you'd expect), and a headscarf. Like you do, she'd got feed all down over herself, plus shavings, horse hair, you know the stuff!

I watched her finish mucking out and as she turned her horse out.

She walked across to her car, opened it, and got out a pair of lovely little dinky evening shoes. She took off her headscarf, and shook her hair out. She then removed her overall, stepped into her shoes - and lo and behold there was a simply gorgeous little outfit she'd got on underneath!! She flicked a comb through her hair, a bit of lippy, and quick spritz of some perfume, and there she was, all ready for her evening function!

I came home, went on e-bay, and bought a couple of boiler-suits after that!!

 

[Leo Walker]

I live in jeans and a hoodie (or a polo shirt / hi vis t shirt if it's warm) on the yard, coupled to old trainers in summer or wellies in winter. There is most definitely no make up involved, and it's a good day if my hair has seen a brush and doesn't resemble a dead, matted long-haired ferret. Of course, it's the accessories which make an outfit, so I set mine off with my archaic, cheap, digital watch and an array of stains - slobber, horse feed, or whatever cream I might have applied to a nose. It is a strong aesthetic...

This is me, minus the digital watch. And the trainers are replaced by walking boots in winter.

I did buy some specfic yard clothes in red and black, just polo shirts, a hoodie and some of those shiny lycra leggingy things. These are amazing as dirt and filth just doesnt stick to them. This matched the carriage and I actually looked reasonably smart for a little bit. Then the pony retired and I put the stuff away for some unknown reason and now I'm back to looking like a tramp again!

 

[Berpisc]

I am very lucky my horses are at home. However, I usually look a complete scruff; old trainers/wellies, tracksuit bottoms and dead T shirt/fleece.
My "best" look is when I have showered, washed my hair, have no time to dry it and add a large hat with storm flaps. So glamorous.

 

[blitznbobs]

Horses at home I often go
Down the yard in my pjs only if I’m having lessons / competition do the breeches come out usually ride in skinny jeans these days - how lazy am I?

 

[catkin]

At evening stables I'm actually quite glamorous from the neck up as I wont have redone 'work or out-in-polite-company' hair and make-up before seeing to the ponies.

 

[Penny Less]

If I bought a boiler suit Id still be wearing it in the supermarket later !

 

[Pippity]

Jodhpurs, whatever vendor/band/ice hockey t-shirt I've pulled from the pile, yard boots. And if I haven't otherwise gone out in public, a baseball cap or a fleece hat to hide my hair. (Brushing my hair does nothing. It has to be washed if it's going to be tamed.)

And that's on full livery!

 

[CMcC]

The glamorous, made up ladies will never come on here and confess that they manage to muck out, tack up, ride, turnout etc without getting a speck of mud or horse poo on their spotlessly clean Pikeur breeches or [insert brand name] boots, without getting sweaty hat hair or smudging their immaculate make up (in the last year I can think of only one occasion I have worn make up) because they are always the ones that say, “oh please excuse me I look such a mess!” Those of us who really do look a mess or in my case slightly deranged are past noticing and stopped caring several decades ago!

 

[Mule]

I think it might just be a natural trait .. I help clients in a glass mosaics class at work. One of the ladies I work with has beautiful nails (gel, but you'd never know it). They're also beautifully manicured.

After working with glue, grout and cutting up glass tiles her nails are still immaculate.
Mine are jagged, at a minimum and I usually manage to get at least one cut. If I happen to be wearing nail varnish, there's very little of it remaining after the class... I think I'm either careless, clumsy or both. I'm suspicious it's a similar situation to the homeless yard look..🤷

 

[flying_high]

I spend most of my week at professional job looking presentable. I don’t really care how I look at yard. Breeches for riding. Smart ish for lessons. Rest anything okay.

 

[Dave's Mam]

I live in jeans and a hoodie (or a polo shirt / hi vis t shirt if it's warm) on the yard, coupled to old trainers in summer or wellies in winter. There is most definitely no make up involved, and it's a good day if my hair has seen a brush and doesn't resemble a dead, matted long-haired ferret. Of course, it's the accessories which make an outfit, so I set mine off with my archaic, cheap, digital watch and an array of stains - slobber, horse feed, or whatever cream I might have applied to a nose. It is a strong aesthetic...

Ah, this is me!

 

[Bermuda]

Me too, on the odd occasion I have turned up looking smart at the yard my fellow liveries have said they didn’t recognise me! I clearly need to sort myself out but tend to throw on whatever is comfy and suits the weather, I'm constantly covered in mud, dust and hay and I don’t understand why everyone else isn’t. My horse seems happy enough though so I don’t really care . I do sometimes wonder if I look like a thelwell character though..

 

[Mrs B]

I don't think I've ever put make-up on to go to the yard! It would never cross my mind, but we're all different, I guess.

There again, I do time my day to get the most available minutes in bed ... so I get up at 6.20am, leave the house at 06.35, having washed, dressed & fed the cats, (all in the dark for much of the year so I don't disturb Mr B too much) ... then drive 7 miles to arrive at the yard at just before 7am.

TBH, I'm lucky if I have my fleece on the right way out, let alone anything else

 

[Sallyfinn]

Oh dear I’m the other way. My horses are at home and I’m always alone on the yard but I never go out there without a shower, hair wash and full makeup in the morning. What if I forgot and went to the shops or the postman came 😱

 

[YorksG]

Our horses are at home and I still look like a homeless person, sometimes a homeless person in PJ's and dressing gown

 

[JFTDWS]

What if I forgot and went to the shops or the postman came 😱

Seriously, what if they did?

 

[Denbob]

I spend most of my yard time looking like I'm straight off the set of Oliver Twist, empty coffee mug in hand ("please Sir may I have some more") and a mixture of slobber and mud completing the "street urchin" vibe.

Change of top and a quick baby wipe shower and I look slightly more upmarket but I don't think I've ever been described as glamorous, that's a word solely reserved for others.

 

[honetpot]

I used to take my children to school and have to stand with all the mums that were all better dressed than me on a good day, with smelly wellies and woolly hat . Before we moved I lived in a farming area so the welly look was normal attire.

 

[RoR_nut]

I tend to look like a weeble that has dressed themselves in the dark at the moment!

I'm limited to leggings or trackie bottoms and whatever hoody I can fit over bump! .............definatley the "tramp" of the yard!

I used to make an effort to look semi presentable.......now I just wear whatever and crack on trying not to make eye contact with too many people to avoid further embarrassment

 

[SadKen]

I am a filth magnet - if there is any mud, slobber, bits of feed, hay etc within 100 yards, it will magically adhere to me. I am also generally hairy, due to dog/horse.

To be honest, I feel more comfortable looking like I sleep in the hedge. It's one thing to not try but end up looking awful; it's quite another to try and still look awful. So I go with the former.

I have no idea how I managed to attract a mate and I don't think anyone else does either.

 

[Pinkvboots]

Oh dear I’m the other way. My horses are at home and I’m always alone on the yard but I never go out there without a shower, hair wash and full makeup in the morning. What if I forgot and went to the shops or the postman came 😱

This is me it's just what I do everyday and have done for years.

 

[Sussexbythesea]

I used to make an effort (not that I ever looked immaculate or anywhere near) but in the last year or so I just don’t have the energy and often I don’t even brush my hair and rarely put make-up on even if I’m not in the yard. I don’t even keep them at home 😱.

Now I’ve added a second horse and a dog I’ve no hope!

 

[Annagain]

I'm the opposite, especially in the week as I usually go straight to work from the yard or vice versa. I do have jogging bottoms and a fleece to go over the top of my stuff but it's either too warm or I'm in too much of a rush so just end up doing the horses in my work clothes - so although I look quite smart at the yard, I look like a tramp in work! I got splatted with mud all down the back of a dress the other morning and didn't realise until a colleague pointed it out at lunchtime!

 

[Hannahgb]

During the week, my make up is done ready for work, mornings I'm in trackies, afternoon jods and I come straight from work so make up still on.
Weekends I won't have make up on as get staright out of bed and head to the yard. By the afternoon, I will have make up on from the day.
Again trackies or Jods are on.

 

[Lexi_]

I think you either have the tidy gene or you don't. I can arrive at the yard after work with makeup on and clean yard clothes and then 3 minutes later be attractively smeared in random brown stains and have boots full of hay.

 

[Keith_Beef]

I think you either have the tidy gene or you don't. I can arrive at the yard after work with makeup on and clean yard clothes and then 3 minutes later be attractively smeared in random brown stains and have boots full of hay.

Some of us are dirt magnets. On a Sunday, I put on clean jodhs, a clean, ironed shirt, and at 10h15 I walk up to the yard for my lesson and the first horse I see sneezes a half pound of dust and snot mixture on me.

While my instructor and the trainee who have been at the yard to feed and give the first lessons at 08h30 are still as I described in this post.

 

[Celtic Fringe]

I do try to look like a 'proper' owner but never quite succeed. Like many I'm covered in a mixture of horse and dog hairs, slobber and general unmentionables within 10 minutes
Tomorrow afternoon there are some 'posh' high-up people visiting the yard where I keep my younger cob and I know the place will look immaculate so I'm going to stay away as I'll only make the place look untidy .....