Loosing a horse - whats the worst thing said to you?

[Gingerwitch]

I have had the usual yard bee hatch round tonight and have listend to the:-

"oohh i loved mine far to much to be there when she was done"
"i can't belive you have put one of yours in her stable ALREADY- i loved mine far to much to let something else in her stable"
"have you not found another one to buy yet?"


I bit my lip - why i really dont know but i dont think a brawl would help anyone

 

[Shysmum]

(((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) sm x

 

[lexiedhb]

I'd of decked her!- possibly whilst saying "I loved her far to much to listen to your drivel!"

 

[Spudlet]

I have had the usual yard bee hatch round tonight and have listend to the:-

"oohh i loved mine far to much to be there when she was done"
"i can't belive you have put one of yours in her stable ALREADY- i loved mine far to much to let something else in her stable"
"have you not found another one to buy yet?"


I bit my lip - why i really dont know but i dont think a brawl would help anyone

What a WITCH! (Well, that's accurate to within one letter anyway).

 

[Ashleigh_]

I'd of decked her!- possibly whilst saying "I loved her far to much to listen to your drivel!"

Spot on!!
Failing that a good headbutt

 

[Gingerwitch]

what i wanted to say was

" i loved mine so much, i wanted her to know and feel safe that i was with her to the end and it has helped me knowing i was the last thing, person she saw !"
" i could not have mucked out gingerwitches stable, knowing she was the last horse in there so putting one of mine in has helped as i do not know which was her poo and which one is the little un's"
and finally

"no and even if i brought a 1000 horses - nothing would replace my gingerwitch you calouse old bag !"

 

[galaxy]

A friend of mine went on holiday about a month after I lost mine and said I could help myself to him. Another livery's mum occasionally rode him too and one morning the livery truned around and said "why do you have to ride him, there's loads of horses you could ride"!!!!!!! I nearly burst into tears. I'm a RI, so yes, I do get paid to ride/school peoples horses and another friend lets me compete her horses, so I'm never short of horses to ride, but this particular horse is a bombproof cob, which is all I felt up to riding at the time.

She then added "why can't you ride your own horse", meaning my other unbroken youngster!! duh!!!!

Really hurt

 

[navaho]

I found my boy dead in the field last year, it was totally unexpected, so we had to try & arrange something with his body, in the end i was able to have him buried, but my partners brother couldnt understand why we were bothering & said "why dont you just dump it up the mountains"......i was not impressed!

 

[MochaDun]

Obviously she/they is/are totally insensitive know it alls! Try not to let it get to you. You've done the best for your horse. It's times like that when you need a horse to do one of those enormous snot-splattering blows over the stable door straight into said person's face!

 

[RuthnMeg]

Poor you. ((Hugs)) Some people just don't have sensitivity.
When my old boy Miri was PTS, I got told I was a thoughtless person - why?, well he was done on 9/11 and many people told me that it was inappropriate for my feelings to be else where!
Well, I didn't know what was happening across the pond and even if I did know, it still had to be done. And on top of that the farm was also holding a mini HT so people were milling about, and I got a fair amount of 'tuts' because it was going to happen and they didn't want to hear it. (it was out of sight).
More hugs to you GW.

 

[benson21]

my supervisor thought she was being funny when she came to see me in hospital when we got hit by a car and Benson died, I broke my back and my friend was bashed about, when she said, Oh well, the glue factory must be happy now, stocks have gone up! If I could have, I would of got off that bed and flattened her!

 

[Nash2]

When I lost my mare she was at a friends yard having some grass. When a livery off the other yard called me she said 'well the vet said you shouldn't take her didn't he so what did you expect?' Someone had been spreading a rumour round the old yard and they basically said it was my fault. I moved all my stuff shortly afterwards and I have stayed at my friends yard. I used to be really good friends with this woman and I haven't really spoken to her for months as I still can't believe what she said. The vet had said I could take her but even if he hadn't I still would never had said this to someone. It made losing her an even worse time and I'll never forget what they said. I had spent months nursing her back to health when it was all some of them could do to check theirs once a week.

People are nasty - end of. I'm very sorry for your loss. To be honest I might be tempted to tell them b*****s if they say anything else.

 

[Lila]

Lost my girl in the field in jan and got of another girl "she was just a typical stupid mare its was going to happen sooner or later" Couldnt tell you what i said back or what i really wanted to do to her

 

[Django Pony]

Wow, people can be so cruel! <<<<<Hugs>>>>> to you all.

 

[Sparkles]

'Will the insurance pay out to replace it?'

'My horse's won't get it will they?' [Pedal bone rotation. Safe to say no they won't.]

 

[TinselRider]

Worst one I ever had was

"we knew he wasn't coming back anyway" *insert smarmy tones*

After nearly a year of nursing my injured horse whom I loved to pieces I took him to the vets as he was showing improvement, things were however giving up on him internally

 

[Louby]

Some people are awful, I think they get some morbid pleasure out of being horrible. Try to ignore them, they will find something else to bitch about soon.

When my horse was pts suddenly, I went into work the following day and my boss asked if they still used the hooves for glue!! When I said she'd been cremated he laughed and looked at me like I was a nutter.

 

[Luci07]

Guys - when someone behaves this poorly, all you can do is take a deep breath and feel REALLY sorry for them that they have been brought up so badly.

It sounds innane but has helped me deal with some really thoughtless people.

And GW - her poor attitude is not your problem. At the end of the day you obviously (understandably) don't think too highly of her, so dont place too much thought as to what she said. If she starts up again - at all - just turn around and say something on the lines of "I know you don't mean to come across as callous and cruel, but right now, you are, so lets stop this conversation before it gets any worse".

 

[dozzie]

my supervisor thought she was being funny when she came to see me in hospital when we got hit by a car and Benson died, I broke my back and my friend was bashed about, when she said, Oh well, the glue factory must be happy now, stocks have gone up! If I could have, I would of got off that bed and flattened her!

Many years ago i got the comment" i think the glue factories are on strike today!"

Lets just say i didnt get expelled for my reaction but could have been!

 

[JJtheJetPlane]

Well said . Sorry to hear you have lost your horse

 

[taceann]

TBH I feel sorry for them all with their comments, because they obviously don't know what it is to have a horse and love it with all your heart. They will never know or understand because to them, a horse, their own or anyone else's is just a commodity.

 

[NikkiF]

Gingerwitch, hadn't realised your loss was so recent, what horrible people
You are so right about the stable, I did the same, moved my other 2 horses up so one of them is in my old mare's stable and then the one I had to clear out wasn't hers....hope that makes sense! Made me feel better doing it that way.

Benson, that is just appalling, assume she was non-horsey?

 

[Gingerwitch]

NikkiF - lost my wonderful little girl on Monday this week, so pretty raw to say the least and Benson - how have you not cut the brake cable on her/his car?

 

[misst]

When my daughter was 16 and lost her beautiful eventer a dad on the yard said "please make sure that he is put down when ****(his daughter) is not around as I don't want her to be upset" The next day (after we had lost him) he told me "we had an injured horse once but we tried harder than you and saved him". I was also told by someone recently that they would never put a horse down until it was completely crippled as they could never be as "hard" as I was.

How I never decked the barsteward I will never know. Both times I was so shocked and upset and so concious of protecting my daughter I was literally struck dumb. I have never forgotten or forgiven him.

(((hugs))) people are stupid and cruel - but most people GW will know how much you are hurting and only want to comfort you.

 

[Gingerwitch]

Misst - you know some of the folks i have little to do with (as they are too busy looking after their horses) have been the most compassionate to me - Tue and Wed i did not look at anyone as i did not want to speak to anyone - tonight several folk have walked to me and said "sorry if you want to talk i am here and if you dont i understand" yet the folks whom were supposidly your friends have just wanted a gore fest! so i just wish those folks would take a bit of advice off me which is "for coughs" and colds take veno's - just say the first bit quick and you will get my meaning !

 

[Mrs B]

Worst thing said to me? (with an indifferent shrug) "Just get another one".

 

[misst]

You are so right
I was surprised at the response from people I thought I knew. I found some new friends too though. We are sadly going through the same thing again I think, and am unsurprised this time at comments. However I am much more warey now of talking to people about it... Last time was 8 years ago - and those comments still hurt I am so careful now if anyone looses anyone or anything and try never ever to be judgemental or negative even if (occasionally) I think someone is wrong. I will remember your little saying in the future

 

[Nickijem]

The worst thing I got when I had my beloved horse pts with colic was from someone on HHO!! (She has since been banned and wasn't known for her sensitive side!)
I said, in a post about whether we speak to our horses, I wanted to be with my horse when he was pts so the last thing he heard was me saying 'I love you'.
She said I must be stupid because he wouldn't have understood!

I think I know that - his grasp of the English language was quite limited but it was still the last thing I wanted him to hear!

 

[foraday]

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

SO sorry you are all dealing with insensitive idiots out there!

I have been there for all my boys and girls. I still can't talk about my one I lost in 2008-he was my one horse of a lifetime. I lost one in 2009 coming up the the anniversary soon-but that one I can deal with.

Luckily no one can even talk to me about it because even if I think about my boy tears just come and I just walk away. So everyone just leaves me alone-luckily.

Think I would be a psychologists nightmare and meal ticket in one! Years of therapy needed!

My thoughts are with you GW at this tough time

 

[ThePony]

wow, those comments have totally taken my breath away! I can't believe the nerve of some people. It is a testement to how nice you guys are that there hasn't been a spate of killings on yards!