Loosing Hope with myself...

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khalino

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So, I've fallen off twice in 48hrs and yes, I've been to A&E, and I now can't ride for a week.
The lack of riding isn't too bad, gives me a chance to build up a relationship with my boy again, but what's got me is how discouraged I feel.

I really wanted to do some unaffiliated Dressage and clear round jumping...but now I don't even want to look at myself. It's not my horses' fault, in fact, I think he's too good for me. He's so forgiving and careful with me, he even tried to keep me in the saddle today but there was no avoiding that fall.

My weakness is in my left side, and it's going to be even worse now I've fallen on that side twice. And they were bad falls.

I want to know, what could help me with my lower leg strength in the saddle?
Should I ride with me left stirrup shorter than my right for the minute to get my strength?
Shall I try two-pointing in trot and walk?

I'm feeling really terrible, lacking in confidence and ambition, but there is no way I'm selling up and giving up.
 
Get yourself some lessons !! Honestly will be the best thing you have invested in :) a good instructor can work wonders for your confidence.

Also have you tried doing some pilates to try to get your strength built up on your bad side?
 
I should have added that, I'm having lessons and riding a schoolmaster in them, and I still almost fell off in canter.
And I thought about Pilates, but the sessions are at the same time I'm working :(
 
You need someone to help you get over this lack of confidence that can see where the issue is, if the lack of strength is causing the falls then it will help to try and build it up, riding in 2 point may help, riding with one stirrup shorter may cause other problems, but the main thing you need is confidence and support from a sympathetic instructor who will be able to help get you over this feeling that you have at the moment.

Aiming for some unaff dressage should not be unrealistic, get an instructor who will be fully supportive and give you some tools to work with and it may make all the difference, trying to do this alone will not be easy, everyone requires help at some point, no need to lose hope or consider giving up.
 
Try not to feel disheartened but do get more help. Maybe lessons on your own horse? After over a decade and a half of daily riding and lessons, I had a year where I just seemed to come off of everything. Eventually, I lost my nerve and gave up (which was difficult because horses were my life, work, livelihood, everything!). I think after my first (and most serious) fall, my seat and balance were damaged. If I had got help at that point, the subsequent falls probably wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't have become afraid (and convinced that I was an abysmal rider :D).

eta: Sorry, the point of that little ramble was - get as much rl support as you can. You can overcome this and in my experience, it's well worth doing sooner, rather than later.
 
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To get your confidence back and to develop strength and balance, I suggest some lessons on a mechanical horse and if you can find a physio or sports therapist to work with you on the simulator, even better.
 
You don't say how you fell, or tell us why you think you fell? Can you shed any light on that?

I think we all go through times where our confidence is affected from falls or bad experiences. So don't feel alone with this.

If you cannot ride for a week or so, maybe this could give you time to make a plan of action. If you have a weaker side you need to work on that. I think the best solution for strengthening and conditioning is swimming. I come from a sports and exercise background and most athletes / people have a stronger side, levelling this will always be a challenge but swimming was the most popular form of exercise to change this.
 
Why I fell: We were trotting and then I pushed him into a light canter, which went fine, he saw a puddle, jumped to the side of it, hollowed out on his left side to avoid it and that was that. I was off.

How I fell: on my head, then rolled and slammed my back, hip and knee into the floor.

In reply to everyone:
I did do lessons on my own horse as well, and that was grand, it was only that one lesson on her horse and that was even better. My instructor is lovely, very supportive and we're great together, so it's now just a matter of me asking for another lesson.
I don't have the time out of work to travel to the facilities with a mech-horse but I will be getting some fitness up with either Pilates, swimming or something else that suits me.
I'll try two-pointing every so often to help build strength on my left side.
 
khalino said:
Why I fell: We were trotting and then I pushed him into a light canter, which went fine, he saw a puddle, jumped to the side of it, hollowed out on his left side to avoid it and that was that. I was off.

How I fell: on my head, then rolled and slammed my back, hip and knee into the floor.

In reply to everyone:
I did do lessons on my own horse as well, and that was grand, it was only that one lesson on her horse and that was even better. My instructor is lovely, very supportive and we're great together, so it's now just a matter of me asking for another lesson.
I don't have the time out of work to travel to the facilities with a mech-horse but I will be getting some fitness up with either Pilates, swimming or something else that suits me.
I'll try two-pointing every so often to help build strength on my left side.
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For some reason, it sounded like you just toppled off in your previous posts! A sharp shy at canter is a valid fall, you know? It could happen to anyone. I find, with shies, that strength has little to do with staying on. It's more about relaxing and going with them, in balance. If I do employ any strength to stay in balance, it's usually on the side they are shying towards and core strength. So, if they shy right, I'm most likely to come off to the left, so use my right side to counter it. If you've come off both times to the left, is it possible that your right side needs strengthening? Relaxation (sitting in, not perching) and balance are key to a secure seat though, I find.
 
What is the reason for your weakness of you don't mind saying- is this something you can work on and improve or is this a neurological issue which will remain and you need to learn how to manage?
That would make a difference to management
 
You might like to have a read of the Centered Riding Books. I went on a course and started off quite a cynic but some of the thought process is quite eye opening. You do a bit of work with a gym/fitness ball which allows you to visualise how to sit when the horse is moving, see if you can pick up a book from the library. Also it seems to me that you need posture work to help you sit in a more balanced fashion as it isn't strength you need but an ability to go with the horse's movement. Once you can do that the strength will come. A decent instructor will work more on you than the horse. Having some lessons on the lunge is always useful too. We've all been there, don't be to hard on yourself, if you get nervous your upper body will creep forward and that never helps, you need to work on getting your seat wedged. Have a look too at TTT (Training teachers of Tomorrow) don't know where you are based but the instructors that train there tend to be very focused on rider position. Good luck, you have to work through this to get to the other side, it took me a long time and every decent rider will have been through this to some extent.
 
Pearlsacarolsinger said:
To get your confidence back and to develop strength and balance, I suggest some lessons on a mechanical horse and if you can find a physio or sports therapist to work with you on the simulator, even better.
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This. My daughter and I had one lesson. She was really against it and moaned constantly, but even she had to admit it made a difference.
 
Well done you for being so determined, and don't beat yourself up so much!
Everyone falls off sometimes, even the pros.
Of course you want to work out why, and try to avoid it for the future if possible, and you're having the lessons and doing your best.
I have come to the conclusion that some horses are just easier to come off than others. My old horse was very easy indeed to fall off - he was spooky, big moving and had a great habit of dropping a shoulder. I could be trotting around, rise, and by the time I came to sit there would be no horse underneath me! I am no great shakes as a rider, don't get me wrong, but thought I was better than that! Pilates did help, and it came to happen less frequently over the years as we got used to one another. But it did make me a lot more cautious about what we did, as I was constantly aware of thev risks.
After he had to be PTS (nothing to do with the falling off, I hasten to add!), I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to ride several other liveries' horses and quickly realised my old boy had been pretty unusual and I wasn't quite as rubbish as I had come to think. Don't know if there could be a bit of that going on with you maybe?
 
In reply to everything:
Yep, I literally did just go *plop*. Thank you for validating my fall, it actually just helps to know I didn't fall for a stupid reason. There was literally nothing I could do, but I forgot to relax and I think I looked down so, down I went, like a mug.

Dizzy: I'm literally just weak af on my left side, nothing complex, just much weaker. I'm right handed so my right side gets more of a work out naturally.

I will have a look at a few books and see what they can do. Courses/trip out are out of the question because of work. I don't get major amounts of time off and certainly not enough to start or continue a course. My best bet would be to find excercises I can do at home or in the saddle, which is what I'm aiming for.
My instructor is lovely and has offered to help with all of this, and I can't thank her enough. Supportive, energetic and positive. She believes in me so I'm gonna get back up and go for it.

Micro: Thank you. I thought so. Some horses I just never fell off, despite everything they threw at me, but my boy is getting fitter and more athletic and is rather narrow anyway, so its like: oh dear xD I rode my instructors horse and found out I could actually canter...without coming out the side. I really just need to relax.

Seriously guys, I need to relax and chill out in the saddle or I'm gonna get grey hairs before I'm 30.
 
The best bang for your buck would be a personal trainer that understands the equestrian requirements in order to strengthen your weak side and even you out. Unless you are even and equally strong on both sides out of the saddle you don't stand a chance mounted with a horse under you and his/her own a-symmetries.

Just to add....you say your horse is narrow....trust me THAT is a bonus and not a negative! If you are in ANY doubt try riding a 710kg ID four year old! :D They are WIDE and that take a-symmetry to a whole new level!
 
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khalino said:
Seriously guys, I need to relax and chill out in the saddle or I'm gonna get grey hairs before I'm 30.
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Speaking of relaxing, my go-to when I feel I have mislaid my seat (for whatever reason, from a lack of fitness to tension!) is stirrupless schooling in wt and c. I don't know if you would find it helpful but to be entirely honest, for me it seems to resolve any issues, strengthens my core and improves balance almost immediately.

(You aren't a mug :D)
 
Your ID sounds like a dream lol. I love Draughts :D Biggest snugglers ever.

Hmm, okay. I'll try stirrupless riding. It's meant to be feel a bit odd, right? Like your being pulled by your ankles?
 
Where about's are you based Khalino? I had a huge confidence issue recently and whilst I had complete faith in the instructor I normally use things weren't working and it was seriously knocking my confidence. I had signed up for a two day camp and part of that was a one to one session with a Sports Psychologist (also a BHSI). It helped me immensely, I have gone from not wanting to get on my horse to being so enthusiastic about what we will achieve in the next year. I have also had a couple of riding lessons with with her since and the difference in 6 weeks is amazing. If you are anywhere near me I can pass on her details.
 
I am not sure if that is a problem but since you say you are not relaxed, may be you are gripping with your knees when you feel him starting to shy? This would make you more likely to fall.
I think a good way to stay on is to keep toes out, wrap horse with lower leg/calf, relax knees, keep upper body weight on your bum (seat deep and tall), leg weight down into your heels and then follow the shy. Then you can start correcting him with the lower leg as you feel he is starting to shy by bending him in the opposite direction (i.e. if he is shying to something to the left, bend his whole body to the right and get him really listening to your right leg by taking lateral steps).
 
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