loosing my nerve

[0]

i am getting seriously stressed out about taking up riding again i have been away so long now and will be so long before i could get back into it.
I have always been ballsy will get on anything jump anything etc, but now since i had james im just so worried and full of what if's.

I love it and want to ride again but im now scared of falling off when i was never bothered by it before,is it normal when you have a child?

I love jay and want to look after him again but i want to groom and muck out and do all the hard graft but just how interested in actually riding again i am im unsure of,i just dont feel like i can ride well.

 

[Dressagebabe]

Do I take it James is your son? We all go through this, and in all fairness never continue to be the rider we were before having a child, however, your fear keeps you safe! you just have to put it into perspective a little more before you take that risk.

The more you ride the less anxious you will be about every move so I suggest you go back to having lessons on a schoolmaster at whatever discipline you enjoyed but at a smaller scale for a while.

I went through this after having my son and then I had to have surgery a couple of years later to sort out the cock up the hospital did with my caesarian. I can say I am not as gutsy but because of this I am a far more attentive rider that analyses horses and feels their way of going far better than before as I used to just get on and ride regardless of a situation, for this reason I feel, I am a better rider so don't worry about it you will sort it out in your head at some point soon.

 

[Spot_the_Risk]

Not too sure of your situation, is Jay a horse you own but have put on loan? Can you arrange to spend some time around horses again, jst to get used to being up close and dealing with them on the ground? You may find that you want to ride once you're used to horses, or maybe give yourself a longer break (and start looking for a nice lead rein pony too!)

Whatever you decide, don't beat yourself up over it, it sounds like James is still pretty young, he is bound to be your top priority.

 

[Natch]

I must have missed any previous posts of yours could you give us a potted history maybe?

Plenty of riders at every level of nerves and confidence on here, I'm sure someone will be able to help!

Being more nervous of falling off happens to us all (well, most of us mere mortals!!) as we get older, and particularly when you have a child.

At the end of the day there is nothing wrong with just wanting to hang around horses without riding. And if you do want to get on, get a good friend, family member or instructor to be with you when the time is right.

 

[chillidragon]

I've become more and more cautious as I've aged (and I'm not exactly a withered old prune yet either!) and most people I have talked to have said they feel the same. I can only imagine that goes into overdrive if you have children to worry about.

Why not book a lesson at a riding school? I know this sounds daft but riding a slow old plod, just doing the basic walk, trot and canter is a lovely way to reassure yourself that everything is still there. I ride Brandy, who is a total firecracker, at home, and I have lessons on a much more sedate (but still fairly forward going) RS pony because I can then try out and practice things on her first before very gently experimenting with them on Brandy. My biggest regret is that I can't get Brandy to the RS because that would be an immeasurable blessing.

 

[hadfos]

it is i am afraid

,i too am very careful about what i do now i have a family.....if i injure myself and come out of work we would be buggered!!I would ride anything a few yrs ago,well quite a few,lol
think my age and time off being pregnant had something to do with it also!!I am perservering but x country not for me,lol,far to many what ifs

I had the same feelings but it all came back!!Just take it 1 day at a time and start by hacking and low level schooling,leave the jumping until you feel more confident...it will come back,but you need to push yourself

,once you start again you will be fine

 

[0]

sorry run down [my old name was marmite if that helps anyone] is jay was my loan horse for 3 years love him to death have ridden him once since i had james [my son 20 weeks old tomorrow] have been over a few times and mucked out,groomed,cuddled etc.He is owned by my best friend so i can ride or see him anytime i want.
Have dabbled in everything SJ,EVENTING,BACKING etc would usually get on a mustang without thinking about it.

But now i just dont feel half the rider i used too when i rode jay he just seemed so hard to get going like he wouldnt respond to me anymore,but granted he has been working hard he has just qualified for UK chasers and bluechip champs.
I dont know if im just feeling a bit left out as i put lots into him before i got pregnant and he is rising up against younger horses and riders without me,or if i just dont feel i could do him justice anymore.

Im just so scared of hurting myself too always been ballsy on the back but since my accident on the ground i seriously lack confidence on the ground with all neds except jay.

 

[Gucci_b]

Before i had kids and marriage, i was riding along side Guy Williams he was my Buddie at R.C (we had such a laugh) i would jump on anything and jump any jump put in my way on the x-country in the show ring (even beat guy & his sister many a times). I had a break of riding for 20 ish yrs, then returned to riding as i brought a horse, we have come a long way over the last few years but i have lost my bottle when it comes to jumping ect ect, as have big commitments in my life now like my children, would love to compete at x-country but i lack confidence.. I no how you feel big time.

 

[0]

its nice to know i am not alone feeling like this i have down west wilts,tweseldown etc so have been out there an done it and its horrible to feel like this.

 

[Milan]

Hi I was feeling the same up until a few weeks ago I started riding when I was 6 by the age of 12 had an Arab (loan) that pranced about and I loved the fire in him, I had no fear at all would ride, jump anything. At the age of 16 we moved away and no chance of a horsey anywhere the years passed by got married had children (now 11 and 12 years))then sept last year (now age 37) we moved to a village full of horsey people and started to ride neighbours horses fell in love again so hubby built me a stable and with help bought a 14.2 fell off him in first week he bolted whist i was mounting had a reality check what am i doing and lost all confidence its taken 13 weeks of hard work lots of ground work and me letting him get to know me too having lessons on him is helping and i now have my confidence back. But I do think as you get older and have kids you tend to question things a bit more and take less risks. My youngest son just started t ride and he has no fear at all .

 

[angiebaby]

I used to love jumping, but had a bad fall ( not the horses fault) broke two ribs, and although they have mended well, I don't think I can jump again.
Its the fear of hurting myself. However I have regular lessons and hack out my cob every day ( which to me is what its about) , so all's not bad!

BTW my children are in their twenties, but the feeling of not being there for them makes me take a step back.

 

[piggyinablanket]

I am glad I am normal too! I have just come back to riding after a 10-12 year break, I have 4 children aged 11 -3 and its just so frustrating that its not the same. The 14.2 pony I share doesn't frighten me in the slightest but its the unknown things like a lorry round a blind bend, a pheasant in the bushes etc that does!

I feel myself imagining all these silly scenarios in my mind, <font color="purple">ALL THOSE WHAT IFS! </font> ! Plus feeling like a complete novice again! GrrRR.

I am happy in the paddock, schooling in my 'safety zone!' Pony bored though, lol.

I guess you just have a greater sense of self preservation than you did before!

 

[diamonddogs]

How reassuring to know that others feel like I do!

I haven't so much as sat on a horse for about ten years, and since starting a job in a horsey environment I really want to get back into it it, and have even promised myself a horse next year. I've bought a new hat and a whip and some small items of tack already

However, I want to have lessons to regain my confidence, but always seem to find an excuse why I haven't booked lessons - can't decide on a school, can't decide what day(s) to go, yadda yadda yadda...

It just makes me feel worse when I remember how it was when I was young - I'd ride anything (the YO used to go to the sales every week and I'd ride whatever he brought back, sometimes in the dark) and lost count of the number of times I'd get chucked off, kicked, bitten or trodden on, and now the thought of going any faster than a sedate canter brings me out in a cold sweat.

One day very soon...