Losing a bond with share horse

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M.A.W.

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Looking for a little bit of advice if I may.

I currently share a horse I ride him twice a week and poo pick and feed on my visit. I’ve been doing this for 3 months not a single day missed so he’s gotten to know me and I felt we were starting to build a little bond.

The other day we were doing something a bit different and rode in a different field (softer ground) he was a bit uptight but I left him settle and gave him things to think about. The trot work was going quite well so I asked for canter he gave me 4/5 lovely calm strides the threw a huge buck out of nowhere.

Long story short it was a very high stress (from him) ride where I did all I could to try and just finish on a calm note but it just trigger stacked to a point where I made the decision it was best for his mentality and my safety that I get off and walk him home.

This was definitely the best decision but after this he’s been very wary of me standoffish and the next ride where it was a route he’s gone many times he felt like a bomb that was about to explode.

His mum who is wonderful and has a fantastic bond also had a tense ride but looked to her for comfort and found it in her. I don’t feel like he’s able to achieve that with me and it’s therefore made me more anxious which makes him more anxious. Ever medical cause has been investigated and his mum has found his tummy has been a bit upset by all the varying hay which is due to having to keep trying to source from where they can (this is now being resolved by buying high quality big bales in bulk). And something to settle his tummy.

He’s being rested at the moment but I am quite nervous about getting back on. Am I stupid to think our bond has been damaged and it’ll take a lot of work to get it back? I’m so worried about this plus the anxiety from those pretty nasty bucks have created the perfect storm.

Sorry for such a long post I just have been overthinking like mad and really need some advice.
 
Yeah this isn't a damaged bond, it's just a stressed horse. If it is gut problems then I hope it resolves itself. If horse stays tense and unhappy (watch the owner ride before you do) then I also wouldn't want to get back on.

No need whatsoever to take it personally, but it isn't wrong to be anxious either. Your anxiety in this case is telling you something isn't right, and that is the case.
 
HopOnTrot said:
If it’s not pain, it’s pain and if it’s not pain, it’s pain.

The horse is unhappy, probably physically something is wrong, the owner rode through it as she knows the horse.

Nothing to do with bonds.

But then I have mares 😁
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Thank you, yes agreed. I’m trying to remind myself of all the things I overcame with my mares as I understood how their minds worked. It was also incredibly apparent to me when they were ‘off’.

This scenario is different I don’t know him inside out and can’t anticipate. It’s tough I thought I was mentally stronger than this but having kids has made me considerably more fearful.
 
He's had a sore belly, and you were trying something different with him - had his owner ridden/cantered him in an open field recently? Gut issues can make them really reactive, and I know a lot of horses struggling at the moment for various reasons with this summers weather

See how his owner gets on with him over the next little while, and if you feel safe and confident, ride him in conditions where you know both of you feel happy. Assuming all has been well up to this point, and you've been enjoying him, one buck doesn't need to be the end. But be mindful and aware of all the possibilities, and don't put yourself in a position that you might not be able to cope with.
 
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